The Forgotten Goodbye

I tried not to think back to that day. In my life I have had a lot of shit happen but the worse had to be when Sam left. I remember it like it was yesterday, it was a bright sunny Tuesday. Sam came into the motel so excited…

"Hey bitchface, what do you have there?"

"Just a letter, jerkward." Sam was grinning the whole time.

"Are you going to let me see, or am I going to have to take it?"

For a fraction of a second Sam's smile disappeared but then it reappeared as if nothing had happened.

"Dean I found a way out."

Before he had came in I had been lying on the bed reading "Busty Asian Beauties" but at the mention of getting out I walked over to him. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"I applied for college."

"What the hell…"

"I just wanted to see if I could get in."

"And did you?"

"I don't know yet. I haven't opened it."

"Why the hell are we just standing here? Open the damn thing!"

Sam gulped. "Are you sure it's a good idea? What if dad see's or something."

"Quit being such a bitch and open it!"

Sam slowly started to rip the envelope open. He stopped halfway through. "Dean, if I got in how am I suppose to stay here?"

I looked at him puzzled. "What do you mean?"

"I don't want to be a hunter. College could be my way out."

Before I could answer our father walked in. "Your way out of what?"

Dad had been out hunting a vengeful spirit and by the way he looked I could tell it hadn't gone well.

Sam looked nervous but he still spoke, "it's nothing dad, Dean and I were just talking."

He was trying to lie, not a good idea. Dad had always been able to tell when we were lying.

"Sam don't sit here and lie to me!"

"I'm not lying! We were talking!"

Dad glared at me. Once again I was stuck in the middle of a fight. I could either take my brothers side or I could take my father's side. "Dean, is it true?"

I wondered if I was as pale as I felt. I didn't like lying to dad. "We were talking about college."

"DAMN IT SAM! We have talked about this more than once! You're not going to college!"

"Yeah but…" Sam said
"NO BUTS!" Dad walked right in front of Sam and ripped the letter from his hand. "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?"

"I just wanted to see if I could get in." Sam said in a weak voice.

Dad ripped the letter in half then threw it in the trash. "You're a hunter. Hunters don't go to college."

Before Sam got the chance to defend himself dad left the room. He didn't say where he was going but both Sam and I knew he went to the bar.

Sam walked over to the garbage and took out the two halves of the letter. He glared at me, "thanks for sticking up for me. I'm glad to see you have my back."

"Come on Sammy you didn't give me much of a choice."

"Whatever" he growled.

Sam walked over to his bed and opened the rest of his letter. He held the two pieces together so he could read what it said. He didn't yell, he didn't smile, he didn't do anything he just stood up and put the letter back in the trash.

"So, did you get in?"

"It's not like it matters." Sam hissed. "I'm a hunter." He walked to the door and left.

I ran after him, "hey, wait, where are you going?"

"Out."

It was clear Sam needed to cool off so I let him go. I went back in the room and started reading "Busty Asian Beauties". I planned on looking at Sam's letter but I feel asleep and didn't wake up until I heard a door slam.

"Where's Sam." said a deep, drunk voice.

"He went out." I was still half asleep.

"WHERE!?"

"I don't know. I didn't ask."

"WHY?! You're suppose to protect him and…"

"Calm the hell down, I'm right here." Sam had silently came through the door.

"Where the hell were you?"

"I was out being a normal teenager."

"WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN?! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING?!"

"Calm down! I was at high school party getting drunk!"

I piped up. "Party? Where the chicks hot?"

Sam and dad both glared at me. I think one reason they didn't get along was they were so much alike. They both glared at me and said "SHUT UP DEAN!" I didn't say anything else the whole fight.

"Sam you have a responsibility to this family. You can't just leave when you want to!"

"You're full of bull shit, you know that! You tell me I can't leave! Where were you?! Wait, don't answer that. We already know you were at the bar!"

"YOU SHUT UP BOY! I GO TO THE BARS TO GET US MONEY!"

"STOLEN MONEY!"

"IT'S MONEY NONE THE LESS!"

Sam snorted. "It's thieves like you I'm going to be putting away."

"WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?"

"I opened the letter. I got into Stanford."

"IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU GOT IN YOU'RE NOT GOING!"

"WHY NOT!?" SAM YELLED

"Do you know how much college cost?! It's a hell of a lot more than we got!"

"I KNOW THAT! I ALWAYS KEPT MY GRADES UP! Dad, I got a full scholarship."

I thought that would calm down dad, but it only made him angrier.

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT ME TO SAY!" Dad said.

"I want you to say, I'm proud of you! I want you to congratulate me! I want you to act like a father!"

"WELL I'M NOT PROUD OF YOU! YOU'RE NOT ACTING LIKE A HUNTER!"

"DAD I DON'T WANT TO BE A HUNTER! I WANT A NORMAL LIFE!" Sam yelled.

Dad didn't look so angry anymore, he looked hurt.

He said in a quiet voice "so did I but sometimes life doesn't work out the way you want."

Sam glared at him, "my life has been shit because of you! I never got a home because you always moved us around! For once in my life I finally have a choice and god damn it I don't want to stay here!"

"Then leave but know if you do you can't come back!"

"Fine!"

Sam went to the door and left. I didn't go after him because I thought he would come back. It wasn't the first time a fight like this had happened and Sam always came back, he never had anywhere else to go. I glared at dad.

"What? Do you want to leave to?" Dad was still angry.

I put my hands up and defense. I didn't need to speak, he knew my loyalty belonged to him. I'd always been the easy child, did as I was told and only raised hell when told to.

Dad was angry and did what he always did when he was angry. He left, must of walked to the local bar because the Impala was still in the parking lot. I couldn't sleep so I turned on the tv, Doctor Sexy M.D. was on. I watched and waited because I knew Sam would be back.

It was just after 3 a.m. when my phone started ringing. "Sammy where are you?"

"Dean I need help."

"Ok, well I'm at the motel…"

"NO! I'm not coming back. I meant what I said."

"That's crazy, you have to come back."

"I don't want to have this fight with you. Just please, I need help."

I took a deep sigh. "What do you need?"

There was a pause. "I need a ride to Stanford." Sam said this part very fast.

"How can I help with that?"

"Can you take the Impala?"

"Are you crazy! Dad would never let me take it!"

"Then don't ask."

"Fine," when I said this I wasn't thinking. "Where are you."

"I'm three block over at Ruby Tuesday's."

"I'll be right over."

"WAIT!"

"What?"

"Can you bring my stuff."

"Fine."

I packed up all his things and within ten minutes I was on my way to get him. I still didn't believe he was really leaving. I still couldn't believe I was helping him leave! When I got to Sam almost all the lights were out. My baby brother was standing all alone in a dark place, I couldn't help but feel nervous. This would be how it was when he was in Stanford, he would be in a dark, unknown place, alone. I wouldn't be ten minutes away to pick him up, how would he manage.

"Hey." I said as he could in the car, "where are we going?"

"I already told you, Stanford."

"Are you sure that is a good idea? I mean…"

"YES! Damn it Dean, I don't want to have this fight with you to! I am going to live my life!"

Whenever I drove the Impala I kept my eyes on the road, I would never do anything that might hurt this car, but just this once I took my eyes off the road. I needed to see Sam's face, I needed to know he was serious. "Sammy if you want to leave that's fine, I just need to know you understand what that really means."

"I've thought about this for years, Dean I need to do this. I can't stay here any longer."

"You're going to alone, in a place you've never been, you'll know no one, and I might not be close if you need me or something."

"I'll be fine, besides there are plenty of hunters in the Stanford area. If something supernatural comes up and you're not close I'll call one of them up."

I took a loud sigh, "ok fine." I wanted to lighten the mood so I turned on the radio. "But if dad kills me for taking his car, I'll hunt your ass from beyond the grave."

"You do that." Sam grinned a little as he said this.

We drove for about an hour before I stopped at a 24 hour rest stop. Sam was asleep and didn't even know I had stopped. I got out the car and walked around the rest stop, Sam would need to get in contact with me and all I could hope was this place had some phones. Even if they were the cheap throw away phones.

I walked into the souvenir shop and asked the guy behind the corner, "hey man I need to buy a phone. Do they sell them here?"

He looked at me like I was crazy.

"So i'll take that as a no?" I said somewhat annoyed.

He just nodded so I left and went back to the Impala. I closed the door a little too loudly because when I got in Sam jumped.

"Sleeping beauty awakes." I said with a small smirk.

Sam was still a little out of it so he didn't reply with any starky or bitchy responses. He just looked around and then asked in a sleepy voice, "where are we?"

"Some shitty rest stop. We should be in Stanford in about two hours. Dad is going to kill me." I said hitting my head lightly on the steering wheel.

Sam nodded then started to nod back off to blissful sleep. I was wishing I was asleep in the motel bed. I was wishing I would wake up and Sam would be out on the couch, dad would be on the other bed, and the Impala would be out in the parking lot. I wanted all this but the world wasn't a wish granting factory, so I just kept driving.

It was just after six a.m. when I stopped the car again. This time Sam woke up when the car stopped.

"Where are we?" Sam asked.

"Just outside Stanford."

Sam grinned a little. "Thanks Dean, you don't know how much this means to me."

"Don't get all chick flick movie on me now. Besides i'm not dropping you off for like another three hours."

Sam cocked his head to the side "what?"

"I need to pick up somethings. Since you're leaving dad and I are going to need some extra salt, maybe a few more guns."

"And why are you getting them here?"

"Why if I didn't know better I would think you were trying to get rid of me."

"You still didn't answer my question."

I sighed "because Sam I don't know the next time I'll be seeing you. Who knows something could go wrong on a hunt and the next time I see you I'll be in a wheelchair."

"Shut up Dean."

I laughed, "you never know Sammy it could happen."

Sam leaned back in this chair a little. "So what are we going to do for the next few hours. Nothing is open."

"Let's go to a beach. Maybe find some beach hotties."

"Cool."

So we drove to a beach. There were some beach hotties, they were eating Sam and I up. I am pretty sure Sam got some action, I on the other hand did not. I knew dad was going to kill me when I got back and that's all I was thinking about. I'd let him down…

I was driving all night and pretty tired, I must have dozed off. One minute I was looking at an empty beach the next I was looking at a beach full of load people.

"Damn it!" I said some what disoriented. What time was it? Where was Sam? How long was I sleeping?

I got on of those questions answered very fast. Sam walked over with a huge grin on his face. "Isn't this amazing Dean! I think I have the right idea with this college thing."

I ignored his statement. "What time is it? How long was I sleeping? Why didn't you wake me up?

"It's only noon…"

I cut him off. "Damn it Sam! You should have woke me up! We've gotta go!"

"Why?"

"Dad is going to kill me!" I shouted back at him.

He was walking right behind me when we got to the parking lot. There were so many cars but I couldn't find the Impala.

"Sam where the hell did we park?"

"Dude chill out we're the next row over. I can see the car from here."

I glared at him but walked to the car. We drove in silence until we passed the college.

Sam looked puzzled. "You're passing the college."

"I know. I've gotta get some stuff in town."

It was very easy to tell Sam was annoyed. "Dean if this is hunting related I don't want to be a part of it!"

"Shut up it's not hunting related!"

We drove for about two miles in silence until we reached a Walmart. They would phones in there.

"Stay in the car. I'll be right out." I said to Sam.

"Why can't…"

"Just stay in the car." I was already out the door and walking towards Walmart before he could protest.

I was out of the store within twenty minutes. When I got in the car I threw Sam the bag I was holding.

"What's in the bag?" Sam questioned.

"Open it." I was already driving back towards the campus.

"Wow! A Blackberry, dude this must have been expensive!" Sam said surprised.

I shrugged. "The guy in the store showed me how to put in contacts. If you need to call me I'm the first contact."

"Thanks Dean."

I looked over at him, "what are big brothers for?"

Stanford was close and I couldn't help but feel a bit envious of Sam. He had his whole life ahead of him. He didn't have to be a hunter anymore, he could be a normal person. I knew I could never leave dad alone but for just a split second I wished I could stay with Sam.

I stopped the car outside of the college. "Well, this is it. You sure you want to go?"

Sam grinned slightly, "yeah, this is the right thing to do." He started to get out the car.

"Hey bitchface! Don't get in too much trouble."

I laughed, "whatever jerkward."

The drive back to dad was hell. I knew I was going to be I in so much trouble. I arrived back at motel at about 3:30. I went into the motel room as quietly as possible. I was hoping he was hang over from last night, even though I knew this was a long shot. Sadly my hope was fulfilled. I entered the room and dad was livid.

"WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?"

I was taller than my father but in that moment I felt no taller than a three year old. I was not Sam, I was not going to attempt to lie to him. I said in a meek voice "I was dropping off Sam."

"WHAT?! WHERE?! WHY?!"

"Dad he didn't want to be a hunter. He wanted to go to college to go to college."

"I TOLD YOU…"

I cut him off and said louder. "He didn't want to be a hunter. YOU told him if he left not to come back. You're the reason he's gone!" I was angry, I was hurt, I was in pain and missing my brother.

"DON'T TURN THIS AROUND ON ME! IF YOU WANTED HIM TO BE YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TAKEN HIM TO STANFORD!"

"What good would that have done? He would be here miserable and you would be here and you two would always be arguing. I wanted him to be happy and not resent me like he resents you!"

"WE'RE LEAVING!"

"Where?"

"WHERE THE HELL DO YOU THINK! WE'RE GOING TO GET SAM!"

"Damn it dad! No we're not!"

"YES WE ARE!"

"Dad I'm not going. We have more important things to do."

"WE'RE GOING TO GET SAM!"

I knew I was going to regret this but I could tell by the look my dads face he wasn't going to let it go. I looked him dead in the eyes and said "it would take four hours to get Sam! That could be four hours spent trying to find the thing that killed mom!"

That quieted him down, I knew mom was more important to him than Sam or I. His first priority would always be to find the thing that killed mom.

He took a loud sigh. "Fine you're right."

I was feeling very happy with myself because I thought Sam could live a normal life. I had just got comfy in bed when my dad looked over at me.

He said in a somewhat annoyed voice. "Why are you lying there. Get your things together we're leaving."

I gulped, I thought maybe he was still hell bent on getting Sam. "Where?"

"We're gonna find the thing that killed you mom."

I wanted to sleep but I was dads good little soldier, for the most part. I got up gathered my things, then got in the passenger side of the Impala.

I had drifted off to sleep when I felt my phone beep. It was a message from Sam and read:

Hey, jerkward. No supernatural stuff has happened in the last few hours so I'm guessing dad didn't kill you and you're not haunting me?

I texted him back:

Not dead, we're on the road again.

He texted right back:

We are you heading?

I said:

No clue, all I know is dad is hell bent on finding the thing that killed mom.

He said:

Oh.

Dad glared at me. "That beepin is annoying me. Stop using the phone."

I tried to protest. "But dad…"

"No buts. Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts their piehole."

"It's not…"

"I don't care. I'm driving and that's annoying so put it away."

I decided to fall into my role as the good little soldier I always was. I texted Sam saying:

Hey man, dad is getting annoyed that the phone keeps beeping, so I have to go. Don't answer back, I'll text you when I can. Enjoy college life.

He didn't answer back. And for the next three years that was the extent of us talking. We would text for a few minutes or call to talk if we had time, but that was really. He was at school and I was out hunting. I didn't talk about Sam with dad either, it only would have angered him. I haven't seen by brother in a few years and the only reason I am Stanford now is dad went on a hunting trip and hasn't been home in a while, I think I might need Sam's help/