Author's note: And we're back, folks!
Just because Annie Cresta's insane doesn't mean that I should say, "Well, I know this great asylum…". Finnick will murder me.
The same applies to Wiress.
It doesn't matter that District 1 is filled with pretty-boys and pansies, saying anything to that effect in front of the District 1 mentors will just make enemies.
Cinna has never even heard of Lady GaGa, much less designed for her.
Photoshoping incriminating pictures of Snow and Coin. Bad idea.
Posting said pictures on the internet. Worse idea.
When I see Snow in a bar, I cannot offer him alcohol. Three words: it affects him. Badly.
I cannot offer any of the others alcohol either. I have a surprisingly high tolerance which none of the others have.
I cannot hide whenever Annie Cresta approaches, then whisper that she's beginning to hear the voices of the dead tributes from her games.
Finnick Odair is the only tribute who gets to be shirtless in public. I am not allowed to.
Johanna will accept my dare and be naked in public for five hours, so I'm not allowed to dare her to do it.
Snow never used the name Tom Marvolo Riddle.
Or Voldemort.
I cannot play matchmaker. Whether I'm drunk or not makes no difference; I'll make terrible choices either way.
I cannot hire a personal assassin to get rid of Enobaria.
Even though she terrifies literally all of the mentors except Brutus.
Even though I sleep with a knife, I cannot knife President Snow and claim that I was sleepwalking.
The one thing President Coin needs is not 'a big hug'.
The same applies to President Snow.
Finnick's theme isn't 'I'm too Sexy'.
Or 'Sexy Back'.
Or 'Sexy B***h'
I am not allowed to pick Finnick's theme music at all.
I shouldn't even ask if lightsabers will be included in the games, as I already know the answer.
When I hear explosions, I'm not allowed to immediately blame the District Three duo.
Particularly when they are in the room with me at the time.
I can, however, look accusingly at Gale and claim that he plotted it.
*Just added* Unless I want to be severely mauled, I am not allowed to look accusingly at Gale.
Fangirls will never be a trap in the hunger games.
So I might as well not train my tributes to resist them.
Not allowed to take any chariots out for a joyride.
Not allowed to wolf-whistle, clap, cheer, or shout "Get some!" whenever Finnick and Annie kiss, nor may I encourage others to do so.
The same applies to Katniss and Peeta.
I cannot host special mentor movie nights and play pre-dark days slasher movies.
"To arms, Narnia!" isn't the battle cry of the rebellion.
"Tonight, we dine in hell!" isn't either.
Asking Finnick how the werewolf tribe is holding up is a joke that is lost on him.
No matter how much I want to see it, Snow will never dress in drag, so I shouldn't send him encouraging emails.
I cannot refer to Gloss as 'The Creature From the Black Lagoon'.
I cannot tell Enobaria that the REAL reason we all stay away from her is because she has bad breath.
I cannot steal Beetee's glasses, then point and laugh after he bumps into things.
Starting prank wars is just a no-no.
Setting fire to giant wax statues of Snow, videotaping them, and sending them to Snow is a sure way to get killed.
I cannot claim I am a pyromaniac and weasel my way out of it.
Trying to start a radio talk show to 'take my mind off the events of the rebellion' will go over badly with Plutarch and Paylor.
I cannot dress up in a black robe, grab a vaguely creepy helmet, and start spinning around like a crazy person on Snow's front lawn while shrieking like a cat, asking him to give me all his power.
As he is not a Legend of Zelda fan, he will not get the joke.
Even if he was, claiming I am perfecting my 'Zant Routine' will not make him laugh
I cannot decorate Snow's mansion for Christmas.
Especially if I intend to include mistletoe.
I'm sorry if these weren't as good as last time's, if you have any suggestions, please let me know.
Also, congrats to everyone who guessed Katniss, Haymitch, Johanna, Beetee, Wiress, Finnick, or Annie for my favorite characters. Yes, they are my favorites.
My question this time: Where are the quotes from the 'battle cry of the rebellion' from?
Finally, thank you to EVERYONE who reviewed! You guys rock! *Gives chocolate chip cookies* Please review again?