AT THIS MOMENT
Chapter 2
Brian looked at Michael who is asleep like death in bed. He saw the first time the person who broke down with tears. Michael is sleeping because of too much pain and exhaustion of his mind. Brian carried practically fainting Michael into his jeep and took him to his loft. While lay Michael on the bed and undress him, Brian doesn't say that there wasn't vicious thought. However, Brian succeeded in barely controlling his libido. Michael's body was vulnerable and too beautiful and painfully sad. It was clearly different from normal young man's body. Michael's body was trim carefully for someone from head to toe so he is the special thing. Brian didn't know what kind of treatment he was enduring in the Cameron's household. Even if he could ponder in anything, it was over to a level of a guess. Michael's naked body didn't have the wounds at least. Only it can be consolation. First of all Michael wasn't treated roughly. Yes, at least for now...Brian tenderly traced a gentle slope of the elegant hip line that rose from a small back of Michael at his palm slowly.
(What was making you cry like that? Why are you so sad?)
Brian muttered under his breath. Everyday of Michael may be certainly days of the disgrace. When did he become a toy of Cameron from? At the age of sixteen or seventeen? He must have been a mere kid who knows nothing at that time. When can Michael get away from the Cameron's illegal prison? However on the other hand, when Cameron threw out Michael, how does he survive? Can he rebuild his life newly who was hurt to mind and body as expected again?
Brian combed Michael's silky dark locks with his fingers. Suddenly, Michael frowned so incubus is bothering him. From his closed eyelids, the tears streamed down his cheeks in spite of interference of thick long eyelashes.
(Even in a dream, is not he saved?)
Brian was inconsolable for Michael. Brian thought about a past of his own. Circumstances were different from Michael in the case of him, but he never spent the happy childhood period. Father abused him by violence, and mother closed her eyes to the fact. Even if he gave economic support frequently, Brian didn't be dear to parents even now. He was sympathizing for miserable circumstances of Michael. Michael seemed to struggle in the darkness that nobody helped him at all.
Brian thought of an action of his own puzzlingly. Superficially it was extremely uncomfortable. Brian Kinney never does such a thing. He hasn't shown even his little son such affection.
But he did, anyway...
When Brian lay onto bed next to Michael, he drew Michael in his arms lovingly. He never tightly held Michael. Like dandling baby gently, Brian protected Michael in his embrace carefully.
**************************************************************
Michael woke up with heaviness of somebody who pressed against his body. The warm long arm that draped on his chest...
Michael noticed the arm was not David's. This arm is more smooth and younger. But this arm wasn't Hank's bulky arm too. Hank never slept in Michael's bed. He was assaulting Michael behind the back of his father. His assaults to Michael are malicious play that didn't want to be known to his father.
(Then who is this arm?)
Michael moaned softly. He noticed touch of the silky sheets which rubbed his naked skin. It was different bedding that he usually used to his bed. His head throbbed unpleasantly, his heavy eyelids refused they open. Michael groaned and pushed his fingers to his eyelids. He felt they had fever and swelled up clearly.
(God...What did I do last night?)
Michael remembered he was taken out to a downtown to Hank forcibly. Hank took him to the gay dance club and left him on purpose in the end and annoyed Michael.
Annoying Michael.
Recently this seemed to be one of the best favorite recreations for Hank.
Michael wriggled a little, under the comfortable heaviness of another person. He awfully felt thirsty.
"Did you wake up?"
For the voice of the man who sounded through his ears, the memory revived like a kaleidoscope in Michael's head.
(Oh My God... This man is Brian Kinney.)
Michael opened his aching eyes fearfully.
"Good morning, Snow White."
Brian smiled at Michael's swelling eyelids and bloodshot eyes. Michael's blushing cheeks were swelling a little too, because he had washed at tears badly last night. His dark curls were tangling on Michael's forehead cutely.
"How do you feel?"
"It's sucks."
Michael muttered. Brian touched Michael's red soft cheeks at his hand. Michael winced for an instant, but was not going to shake off his hand. Brian was through his fingers to tangled dark forelock.
"I remember last night. Having talked with you at a parking lot. But, uh... I don't remember that I came to this place at all."
Michael said timidly to Brian.
"Umm...somehow I seem naked. Did I do naughty thing with you?"
"Nope, nothing unfortunately."
Brian chuckled.
"You slept deadly. Even if I undressed you, there was no sign you wake up. I gave a little treat for my eyes, but didn't do something indecent to you."
"I'm sorry to trouble you. You didn't have to take care of me."
"Actually you passed out. If I had left you in the parking lot, some vultures would eat up your whole body."
"Did I pass out...?"
"Practically, yeah."
Brian nodded.
"Probably my remark really upset you."
Brian scratched at his forehead. Michael dropped his eyes.
"Some people who are knowing my circumstances were never touched about it. You said the truth, but it stabbed my heart. If I pretended not to notice it, I thought that the pain was gone. I'm really stupid..."
Michael muttered tearfully.
"Hey hey, Michael. You already spent quantity of tears enough for ten years yesterday."
Brian said in a hurry and drew Michael close to him before the tears rolled down on his cheeks.
"Calm down. You didn't do that anything is bad. I said an unnecessary thing to you."
"I...I have to go back to home."
As the worst situation came into his mind suddenly, Michael was frightened and mumbling. Brian stroked his back to up and down slowly to pacify Michael.
"What kind of punishment David did when you spent night somewhere without his permission?"
"Umm...I don't know..."
Michael muttered in utter amazement.
"I haven't stayed out without his permission at all. I noticed it, now."
"Wow, you seem to have been good boy surprisingly."
Brian smiled tenderly for reassuring Michael.
Michael shrugged his shoulders.
"I think that I didn't have the courage."
Brian wrapped a joint of Michael's shoulder in his palm and patted it. Michael fidgeted in Brian's arms.
"What's wrong?"
"May I have some water? I'm so thirsty."
"Sure. You stay there. Don't move."
Brian sat up and put his forefinger on Michael's bare chest. Brian could not believe his own action. Brian Kinney gets out from bed to pick up water at himself, for the boy who stays overnight without a fuck. Perhaps it was the first case for him.
Michael watched at the praise the body of the man who stood up. Brian's gorgeous body and move reminded leopard to Michael. Exquisite tall proportioned frame, beautiful supple muscles were placed in perfect position. And also his dick was fabulous. If you were the man, you absolutely would envy it. Michael felt that his heartbeats quickened. He was driven into the peak of upset utterly.
(Am I gay?!)
Michael screamed in his mind. Frankly, he wasn't sure. His mother took him to David's house when Michael was fifteen. He didn't want to remember that memory, but Michael cannot forget what happened on that day. Even if he cannot call it a girlfriend, he had a friend of girl. However, after that day, Michael thought he could never touch a girl. It felt like he dirtied her. That incident polluted him. Michael thought that way. And he hadn't felt libido or anything so far. The insatiable beast-ish two men who demanded him were exhausting Michael all the time. Accordingly, Michael didn't recognize that he is gay. Michael was completely upset. His penis got half-erection. He had to run away from here as soon as possible, right now!
Michael jumped out from warm comfortable duvet in a hurry, looking for his clothes. However, except shoes and socks that put onto a step, his belongings were found nowhere. Michael wasn't sure what to do and he was almost in tears again.
"Michael?"
Brian called his name that move around restlessly at the bedroom. Michael jumped up in surprise.
"While I went for water, what the hell happened to you?"
Michael dived in under sheets in a hurry. Brian had no idea why Michael became jumpy so suddenly.
"Michael, what's wrong with you?"
"No! Don't come here."
Michael screamed in sheets. He fell into a complete panic. His temple was throbbing and his blood vessels seemed to explode at any moment.
(Please God... what should I do?)
"Michael, come out of there. Tell me. What's happened? Maybe I can help you."
Brian approached Michael who covered up his body at sheets and curled up onto bed. When think about what kind of scene there is underneath this thin sheet...Brian was ashamed himself, but excited a little.
"Michael..."
When Brian tried to put his hand on Michael's back, Michael's body trembled. Concern rose in a Brian's mind. Is Michael sick?
"Are you all right?"
"Brian, please leave me alone, just awhile."
Michael said in a shaking voice. Brian sighed.
"Michael, I think even if you hide under sheets it doesn't solve anything. If you don't come out voluntarily, I'll rip off this fuckin' sheets from you forcibly."
"No!! Please don't do that to me!"
"It's already late."
Brian caught a hem of sheets and pulled it off as hard as he could. When Michael rolled down at the reaction onto floor from bed, Brian saw it.
In the sunlight of morning, Michael's pale innocent skin was exposed to light lavishly. His beautiful penis is becoming crimson for excitement. Brian swallowed his breath hard. Michael was frightened and his body tense for fear. Michael's eyes became rounded like saucer, and breathing became terribly fast. Brian kneeled not to give Michael a feeling of coercion and crawled on all fours for him.
"Michael."
"No...no, no..."
Michael shook his head helplessly. Brian caught Michael's cheeks by his hands, and he kissed Michael's forehead.
"Shhhh, you're all right. What are you frightened in that much?"
"I'm hard."
"Yeah, I know that somehow."
Brian smiled and nodded. He held Michael's shivering body close to him. Michael struggled a little, but his resistance didn't continue for a long time. Michael looked up at Brian with his eyes that filled with tears.
"Am I gay...?"
"What?"
Brian asked again. Brian couldn't understand what Michael asked him about for an instant.
"You...what??"
"I...I watched your naked body...and...and I got hard-on. Am I gay?"
Michael was sobbing in the mess of mind. Brian had no idea. Should he have been pleased with an earnest question of Michael or should he have been troubled?
"Uhm, Michael. Didn't you notice that you are heterosexual or homosexual so far?"
Michael shook his head helplessly.
"I didn't know...I didn't think..."
Michael muttered, he didn't have any confidence. Brian handed Michael a bottle of the water that was grabbing in his hand.
"You drink this, and calm down. We can think together about it. Okay?"
"...Thank you."
Michael grasped a bottle with both his hands and nodded. The cold water was thankful thing for him. Michael drank up half of a bottle at one gulp.
Brian's eyes traced outline of Michael's body unconsciously. Michael was kind of small. His trim body was covered in thin muscles neatly, but was still immature. He never seemed to be horny youth who was starved by the sex drive.
"Michael, when did you lose virginity?"
Suddenly, Brian asked. Michael closed his long eyelashes.
"Fifteen."
"With David Cameron?"
"Yes."
Michael remembered fear and despair and vexation at that time. Real mother betrayed him, and he hadn't place to run away to anywhere. However, in a sense Michael's life was improved. He didn't need pain to eat at least, and he was freed from his mother's abuse.
"Are you living at Cameron's house since fifteen years old?"
"...No."
Michael shook his head ambiguously.
"At first, it was only the weekend. But six months later, I lived in a Cameron's house. I couldn't get away from the duty that mother gave me."
"Didn't you have the people who was going to help you? Your father or relative?"
"I have never had father. Also we didn't have relative who could deal with a sum of the debt that my mother made."
Michael didn't want to answer a question of Brian anymore.
"Does Cameron abuse you?"
Brian asked. Michael stared at Brian's hazel eyes.
"David dotes on me as his boy-toy. Maybe I could say I'm lucky."
Michael smiled wryly. Michael knew how David was drowning for him. Michael doesn't understand what of him fascinates David. But at least David was crazy about his body. Though, it didn't matter for Michael.
"When Cameron is fucking you, he makes you cum?"
Michael sighed to a question of Brian.
"Why do you ask me about such a thing?"
"I understood your answer. He can keep you cumming many times."
Brian said calmly. Michael glared at Brian. He blushed deeply. Michael was ashamed what Brian was talking about him. David led him always to cum before inserting himself in Michael. David fucked Michael slowly afterwards over and over again. David licked Michael's whole body anytime. David never released Michael's body until Michael screamed and begged for mercy. Michael hated when orgasm hit him regardless of his will. If compared with sex with David, satisfying Hank's raw desire was easy for Michael. Hank treated Michael violently. Michael had to bear physical pain, but didn't feel hatred for oneself at least.
(Hank is raping me. He is too stronger than me. I can't do anything.)
Strangely, some burden of his heart has decreased when he thought so.
"I think that I hadn't time to feel the sexual desire of my own."
Michael said to Brian.
"When I have to be with them, I too much wear down. When they give me my own time, I want to be asleep without thinking anything."
Michael rubbed his eyes. He was really tired and his awkward hard-on was disappearing somewhere. Michael rested his head to Brian's broad chest.
"Michael. Have you had sex with woman before? I think you may surely understand your sexual tendency if you try to test it."
Brian lifted Michael's body onto his lap. Michael wrapped his both arms around Brian's neck.
"Did you have experience with woman?"
Michael asked. Brian nodded as laughing naughtily.
"I have principle to challenge everything. You had better know it than you knew nothing."
"I got it. How about woman's body? Did you like it?"
"Eventually they are the same human beings, too. Warmth of flesh is unchanged at all. But they have much fat, and they don't have cock."
"I see."
Michael watched Brian's face. When looking close, how attractive his hazel eyes are. Michael traced strong line of Brian's jaw with his fingers.
"Brian...do you have someone to love? Having been in love with someone?"
"Oww. You questioned me about the thing that I most didn't want to hear."
Brian groaned small.
"Probably I'll skip that question."
"OK. You didn't want to do it. Then you don't want to answer it."
"Usually, I don't do love. It's my nature."
"Uh-huh..."
Michael nodded and rubbed his cheek to Brian's ear. Michael felt that he was relaxed in this man's arms. It was weird. Two of them were completely naked. They were wearing nothing. Nevertheless they were into intimate embrace.
"...Brian?"
"Umm?"
"I have to go."
"Oh yeah? I don't think so. You are an adult. You can stay here if you want."
Brian traced Michael's rosy lips with a pad of his thumb. Brian noticed that he didn't even do kissing Michael yet. Brian caressed Michael's nape by his hand and their face approached slowly. Brian pressed his own lips to Michael's lips quietly so carefully. Michael's heavenly soft lips and chin, his cheeks, Brian repeated kisses everywhere on Michael's face. When Brian's teeth bit Michael's plump bottom lip lightly and traced it with his tongue, Michael moaned softly. Brian waited for entrance to the paradise patiently humbly. If Michael's lips opened timidly and allow Brian's entrance, Brian didn't intend to hesitate anymore. Brian's tongue lightly parted Michael's lips, sliding into sweet mouth. His experienced talented tongue was enough mesmerizing Michael. Brian attacked and probed the oral cavity of Michael.
"Umnn..."
Michael groaned painfully knitting his eyebrows. However, Brian didn't want to yet free Michael's soft sweetest mouth. When Michael's fingers tugged strongly Brian's hair, he untied Michael's lips unwillingly for the first time. Michael panted hard as soon as their lips separate.
"...Wait. I can't breathe. And...I can't have this with you."
Michael's modest protest rather boosted Brian's greedy desire.
"Why cannot you have with me this? Michael."
"You know the reason."
Michael turned his eyes away from Brian sadly.
"It is not permitted to me."
"Does Cameron train you to keep your chastity?"
Brian asked Michael in irritation. Michael grieved.
"I'm his possession. He bought me. I have the duty that must obey him."
"Michael, it's wrong. You have no duty."
Brian was disgusted and shook his head.
"Nobody can control completely the life of another person."
"David paid my mother's debt instead."
"Cameron and your mother ruined six years of your life for their self-interest. Haven't you thought that's enough?"
"I don't know...but I cannot decide it. You must not think that you perfectly understands my circumstances."
Michael was trying to escape from Brian's arms. However, Brian didn't allow it. Brian caught Michael's flanks and pushed him down onto bed.
"Brian...?"
"You can find out. You are gay whether not."
Brian grabbed Michael's knees and pushed them apart and shoved his body skillfully between Michael's legs and hooked the backside of Michael's knees at inside of his elbows and fastened them. Michael was underneath Brian's body with too improper posture.
"...Jesus..."
Michael muttered. He couldn't even stir. He had a feeling that his vocal cords seem sewed up by terrible shock.
"Brian, no..."
"Michael. I want you helplessly."
"Please...don't do this to me...."
Brian was rubbing Michael's crotch in his lower abdomen relentlessly. Michael closed his eyelids tightly and swallowed his breath.
"Stop, Brian...!"
"Michael, you should think that it is a good opportunity to test your inclination. If my nude excited you, I think it's worth to trying to test with me."
"Are you forcing it to me? You just want to satisfy your desire. I said No! Do you want to control me, too? Do you want to screw in my ass by force, too?"
"Shit...Michael, I don't..."
"Yes, you do! If you want to doing it to me, I don't care. I'm used to that kind of handling. I am living in that way every day!"
Michael thought his heart and body seem to break to pieces. He has begun to like this man. However, that thought could be his cause of suffering.
"Michael, listen! Are you listening? You can refuse David Cameron, like you refused me, now. You can have relations with the person other than him by will of yourself if you want. Why do you indulge in that pains willingly?"
Michael's knees were hooking on nearly Brian's shoulders. Michael bore his mind's voice to scream for surrender desperately. He wanted to cling to Brian. He wanted Brian to take him. He wanted to forget his reality even if one moment. But he couldn't.
"Fuck you! You don't know anything about me. My mother cannot yet wash her hands from gamble...She repeats rehabilitation and wastes time after all and makes debt again. Even if I work, I cannot afford to take care of her. She is my mother. I cannot let her die at the roadside. I cling to David as possible for a long time and cannot but receive almsgiving until David gets tired of me!!"
Michael cried out under the Brian's body.
"Do you think that it's pleasant? Do you think that I'm doing that willingly?"
"Michael..."
"Shut up! I don't want to hear anything more than this. If you want me, fuck me already!!"
Michael's eyes were sharply fixed on Brian. Brian was stranded the first time in his life. Besides, though the man Brian wanted to fuck was naked in his very front, he couldn't do anything.
At a deadlock state that seemed to continue eternallyz88;was untied for an appearance of the third person. The metal door made a sound and slid and opened. And the voice sounded through the space that was falling in silence.
"Brian! Are you still sleeping? Because Daphne had early morning class, she kicked me out. Did you get desirable thing last night? Brian, are you there?"
"Taylor."
Michael muttered.
"Are you living with him?"
"Oh, I feel need to subtly correct it. This loft is my home, but he spends here, sometimes."
"Ah, it's exactly subtle."
Michael nodded.
"But you two live here and often fuck here."
"I fuck with various men at here."
Brian shrugged his shoulders. Brian could finally get out of his severe tension, but the next problem wandered around a kitchen noisily, opened and closed a refrigerator's door roughly.
"Michael, you stay here. I tell Justin to kill time a little at outside."
"No, you don't have to do it."
Michael removed his legs from Brian's shoulders through difficulties, then slipping out from under Brian's body.
"I can leave here immediately if you give back my clothes."
"I don't want you to leave."
"Brian, please... We cannot work. It was the good opportunity that Taylor came back here."
Brian exhaled one big sigh. He seemed to have to withdraw once reluctantly. Brian stood up slowly and he handed Michael's clothes that was hanging on a hanger properly from a closet.
Michael received them dumbly and has begun to dress. Brian was looking at Michael's smooth beautiful pale skin like porcelain beginning to disappear under clothes. He thought he might begin to bark for frustration. When Michael had finished the last button of his shirt, a sound of a microwave oven resounded in the loft. Michael laughed slightly.
"Time's up."
When Michael's hand was going to slide bedroom's door, Brian caught Michael's hand and drew his body, embracing tightly. Brian repeated passionate kiss to Michael's lips enthusiastically deeply.
"...Brian."
"You will surely see me again. Michael, you must never forget about it."
Still out of breath, Michael looked up at Brian with bewilderment face. Michael wasn't sure why Brian had deeply attached to him. Of course the stud of Liberty Avenue may be hard to accept merely refusal. Michael exhaled his breath slowly.
"Uhn...Brian. I thank your kindness."
"Wait, Michael. You should wait here until I dress. I promised to take you to your home last night."
"No, Brian. You don't have to do that."
Michael muttered quietly and slid bedroom door and kissed Brian's cheek lightly.
When Michael climbed down steps and appeared in the living room, Justin was sat down on stool of a breakfast-counter and eating bagel sandwich.
"OH MY GOD...!!"
Justin said mumble because he was stuffing bagel in his mouth.
"Hey, Taylor."
Michael waved to Justin, and hurried to the door. Justin found naked Brian who is getting full hard-on and standing behind of Michael. Justin shook his head so that that scene wasn't real.
(Is this true?
Brian really can do anything?
Doesn't he have impossibility?
Did Brian really fuck impregnable Michael?)
Justin was looking at Brian's huge cock that towered dissatisfiedly. Brian who noticed it glared at Justin.
"Michael, come here."
Brian captured Michael once again who was trying to escape and plundered his bruised sensual lips. He knew that Justin was looking at them. However, he didn't give a shit. Brian hugged Michael and tenderly kissed a top of his head. He wanted to do it so for some reason. Michael stared at Brian's eyes with concern. Brian smiled and slightly shrugged his shoulders.
"I'll see you again. Okay?"
"Yeah, maybe..."
Michael nodded to Brian but whispered under his breath.
"Goodbye, Brian. Goodbye..."
*****************T B C******************