Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who OR New Girl.

Synopsis: New GirlAU. After leaving her fiance who cheated on her with what she creatively called a "spider woman" , Donna Noble seeks a new home. She then comes across an online ad describing a nice little flat down at Cardiff. She takes the ad and upon arriving at the flat, finds out that it is occupied by three bachelors: Chris, David and Matt. But is she bovvered? Nah. She loves it.

Hey girl! Wha'cha doin'?~

Hey girl! Where 'ya goin'?~

Who's that girl? (Who's that girl?)~

Who's that girl? (Who's that girl?)~

It's Donna!

Chapter 2: Moving In

Torchwood Apartments, Cardiff. Half-past eleven in the morning.

David "Ten" Tennant (skinny, sideburns; brown-hair, sort of sticky-uppy) knew this was dangerous territory. It was like walking through a minefield wearing a blindfold. What do you say to someone who recently got out of a relationship without offending them?

He felt a nudge from his left side. Matt "Smithy" Smith (square-jawed, bowtie, tweed), clears his throat and gives him a look that clearly said: You deal with this one. Ten shakes his head and mouths "No!". He then feels a nudge coming from his right side and turns to see Chris "Eccly" Eccleston (big-eared, leather jacket, sounds like he came from the North), giving him Look# 23 on the "A Complete Idiot's Guide to the Faces of the Oncoming Storm". Sighing, he looks back at Donna, who was, at that moment, carefully regarding him.

"Well..." Ten began. "Donna, was it?"

"Yeah?"

"Um..." Ten tried to grasp the right words, "You had... no idea he was cheating on you?"

Chris rolled his eyes. Of course she didn't have an idea. Ten sensed the sass coming from his right and looked at Chris with complete frustration. Smith continued to eye Donna with interest.

"No, we'd been dating for some time now. I-I thought I k-knew him..." Donna started to tear up a bit.

This alerted the three men on the couch, the look of panic as clear as day on their faces. Smith starts to frantically nudge Ten's side, urging him to do something. Ten eyed the younger man, shaking his head.

"Do something!" Chris hissed.

"I'm trying! Where's the instruction manual for this?" murmured Ten to both men. He pointed to Smith, and said, "You had one, and you threw it away!"

"Because I disagreed with it!" Smith retorted.

Donna continues talking, oblivious to the little 'panic huddle' in front of her.

"Thing is, it's a bit weird. When I saw your ad on Craigslist, I thought you were girls-"

The three stopped murmuring to themselves, and Chris and Ten, in perfect sync, looked towards Smith, smirking.

"What? Why would you think that?" Smith said, defensively.

"Oh, Smith wrote the ad." Ten said, grinning.

Donna flashed them a small smile. "You described the curtains as 'beige-y weige-y'."

Chris and Ten broke out, laughing. Smith glared at the two.

"This isn't going to work, right? I mean," Donna sighed. "You don't want to live with a girl. Especially not someone like me. I'm going through a break-up and I'm just a temp. Nothing special about me. I wear weird hats and type on my computer. Oh, and I sing a lot..." Donna then sings, "A looot~"

"We don't mind that. But the more important question is… Do you have a fez?" Smith asked.

"Yeah." Donna replies.

"Welcome aboard, Noble.". Smith grins at her. "Fezzes are cool."

And with that, the deal was sealed. Donna Noble became the unofficial fourth member of the Torchwood Tower Boys.

The next few days were horrible, at least for Chris, Ten, and Smith. Dealing with a flatmate with post-break-up stress disorder was probably not worth the promise of a fez. Or a Stetson. Or both. Smith hasn't even seen hide nor hair of any sort of headgear. It was getting harder to focus on the plusses. He looked to where Donna Noble sat in front of the telly, watching (for what seemed to be the the fiftieth time), Dirty Dancing.

"She's been watching that blasted thing for two whole days now!" Chris snarled, taking a bite out of a banana.

"What do you suppose we should do, then?" asked Ten, taking a spoonful of cereal.

"I say we get her out of here before I memorise all the lyrics to—"

Before Smith finished his sentence, Donna sang from the top of her lungs.

"I... HAAAD THE TIME OF MY LIIIIIIIIIIIIFE!~"

"Smith's right, we definitely need an intervention." Chris stood up and marched towards Donna, who was singing at the moment. The other two followed Chris, knowing that he would probably enforce the Eccleston Treatment on her.

"Chris… She's a woman, she must be treated with care." Ten began, "Also, she's ginger, so go easy on her."

"She could explode any minute." Smith said. "Like a ginger time bomb."

Chris raised his right hand and pointed at Donna and sternly declared:

"Stop it."

Donna stared at his hand, then began bawling. Chris, taken aback, calls the other two to help.

"Oi, you two! Code mauve over here!"

"Mauve?" Ten asked.

"Universal colour for trouble."

"Yeah, but mauve?"

"Oh, shut up, Ten."

"Let me handle this." Smith raises his hand to stop the two arguing. "Chris doesn't know how to talk to women."

Chris makes a disgruntled huff as Smith makes his way towards Donna and sits beside her.

"Donna," he began gently.

Donna turns her head towards Smith, and looks at him. She stops crying for a while.

"It's not working, is it?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"I s'pose I should just—"

"No, no, I wasn't implying that." Smith said, gripping her shoulders. "You know what you need, right now, Donna Noble?"

"What?"

"A bloke." He grinned.

A/N: Sorry for the short chapter, but I felt that this installment should end here. This was intended to be part of the first chapter, but I felt that I should just keep that one as-is. Think of the ending as a commercial break. But don't worry! More shenanigans in the next chapter! River, Smith, Ten, a cameo, and phonecalls!