AN: Thanks all you awesome people who commented! AlphaCentauri: I'd be interested to know what errors you found, I'd like to fix them. :) Also I'm one of those annoying people who can't stand a happy ending. No full pardon for Megamind. orz
It Takes a Thief
Judge Levi was spinning his pen between his fingers, "I suggest you wake your client, councilman." The court appointed attorney representing Megamind was wearing a ghastly brown and olive, plaid suit, it looked older than the man wearing it. He pulled nervously at his collar before jabbing Megamind in the ribs, his client flinched and dragged his heavy boots off of the table with as much obnoxious fumbling as he could humanly, or rather, alienly manage.
"I was awake," Megamind grumbled, he never opened his eyes. His elbow took the place of his footwear, half of his face squished into deformity as he rested his chin in the crook of his arm.
The judge's pen stopped twirling. "Need I remind you that the continuation of your parole hinges largely on your ability to function as a respectable member of society?" His tone told everyone in the room that it wasn't his desk that the initial proposal had landed on. Megamind gave him a thumbs up. "Society includes my courtroom, look at me when I speak to you Megamind."
Megamind didn't move for a few tense seconds, but then he let out a too-loud sigh and pushed himself back in his chair to stare placidly at the judge.
"Thank you. Now, as I was saying your monitor indicated you recently activated a restricted device-" he paused for a moment to either glean meaning from the pattern of his mahogany desk, or to check a piece of paper that Megamind couldn't see. Megamind suspected the former, this whole thing was bupkis. "during unsanctioned hours without alerting your parole officer." Oh. There was the paper. The judge picked up a pile and straightened them against his desk.
"Oooooh, I'm supposed to get Officer Ignoramus' permission before I rescue the poor wickle beebee from the burning building?" Megamind snapped his fingers like he finally remembered something of infinite importance. "I can never get that straight." The judge stared. Megamind blew him a kiss.
Megamind's attorney, the one who's name he couldn't for the life of him remember, leaned over and pleaded with him to show some restraint. They all did. And he never listened. The power to fire his representative was one of the two singular pleasures the judicial system afforded him. (The other was, of course, the wardrobe which never went out of style.) Megamind's hand shot up in the air, and he waved it frantically back and forth. Judge Levi pretended to ignore him by hiding behind his papers for as long as was permitted in polite company.
"Yes?"
"We both know you're just jealous that I get to be out fighting crime and saving babes and you have to sit in your unsightly polyester chair and do all the paperwork. Can I go now?"
"No."
"Oh... You sure?"
"Yes. Megamind: I don't think you appreciate the gravity of the situation. You have one chance. One more chance before I sign a little piece of paper that sends you back to the Metro City Prison." He paused, eying the slim blue figure slouched before him, "And then you get to explain to all your buddies back home why you betrayed them." Megamind scowled, but didn't say anything. There really wasn't anything to say. Either he was a Hero, and would be screwed (he tried not to dwell on the multiple implications of that word) or he was a Villain and the judge was right about him never having changed to begin with.
With his audience momentarily subdued the judge continued to elaborate on Megamind's latest infraction, but even though he was subdued, said audience was hardly attentive. Megamind's thoughts (great and mighty, as they were) were elsewhere, more specifically: on the police and their impatient expectation for results. El Mapache was still at large, gleefully pillaging without reciprocity (they were by no means hesitant to remind him). Megamind wasn't sure how the police expected him to catch any criminals when his technology had a curfew. He imagined the Warden lecturing him on the virtues of 'getting your hands dirty'. He never was one for getting his hands dirty. That's why he wore gloves. If the police wanted him to do it their way, they could do the job themselves.
Megamind was torn from his thoughts when a heavy manilla folder dropped on the desk in front of him with a swish.
"This is the latest feedback for your project proposals." Judge Levi's eyes were working over more papers on his desk. "You forgot your budget estimates again. Don't forget quarterly audits are next month." The judge looked up, "Your vehicles are still being processed and will be available for pick up in the impound lot tomorrow. Office opens at nine." He brushed his papers aside and rose, "I look forward to seeing you next week Megamind."
Megamind hauled himself to his feet, mirroring the judge's motion, "Can't wait."
Roxanne had met Megamind at the courthouse. As part of his parole agreement all of his technology was subject to random inspection. The judge had requested he produce both his Invisible Car and his Hover Bike at their meeting. Megamind had spent a large part of the morning trying to convince Minion that no one would mind if he showed up in his mech suit as a means of transportation for after the hearing. Minion suggested he just call Roxanne. Spending time with Roxanne always made a flurry of happy warm butterflies invade Megamind's insides, he couldn't deny that, but stomping into court in his mech would have been awesome.
"Hey, can you turn that down?" Roxanne didn't wait for her passenger to respond, reaching for the volume control on her own. Megamind had somehow managed to program a classic rock station into her radio shortcuts without her noticing before he first pressed the button a few weeks ago. She only ever used her ipod, so she didn't really mind that he had shanghaied her stations, but she was marginally disturbed that he had snuck into her car at some point to do it.
"How'd it go?" she continued. Roxanne couldn't stand shouting over music. For a few moments Megamind didn't respond, he was scanning the contents of the folder which had been shoved at him.
"Uh, fine." He paused, attempting to read and speak at the same time, "same soap-boxing as usual." He sighed and tossed the papers to the floor, shoving them as far away from him as he could with his foot.
Roxanne glanced briefly in his direction, frowning. "I need to stop by the office quick, do you mind tagging along?"
He shook his head, "Nah, that's fine." He sounded disappointed.
"Did something happen?"
Megamind snorted, watching large buildings zoom by, "More like didn't happen. They said my security grid was too invasive." He grabbed the manilla folder and waved it at her. But seeing as she was trying to keep them out of a traffic accident she couldn't make out anything more than a crumpled brown packet fluttering in the periphery of her vision.
"You knew they were going to deny it." She tried to put it delicately, but it still stank like a big fat 'I-told-you-so'.
"I know. I just hoped with all of the recent break ins they would reconsider." He huffed, pulling the folder back into his lap. "El Mapache has broken through some of the most advanced security systems in the city like they were... ADT!"
She did look over at him with that comment, eyebrows raised.
"Uh, all rights reserved?"
She would have kept staring, but her attention was required elsewhere. "Not that you would now anything about the efficiency of ADT." She prompted helpfully.
"Oh, of course," He nodded assuringly. She wasn't convinced. "But that's not the point!" He jabbed his rejection letter with a gloved finger, "I'm trying to help them I'm not going to get anything accomplished if they expect me to turn on them at any moment."
Roxanne shrugged, "People remember the bad a whole lot more than the good-" She paused, her shoulder angel shoving those words right back in her face.
"Roxanne?" Megamind was looking at her strangely.
"Sorry, was just thinking. Anyway. You're going to need to do like ten times the good now to overshadow the bad from the past. It's just how people are."
"I guess." Megamind slumped in his chair, "But how am I supposed to show them that I've changed if they don't give me a chance?"
Roxanne squeezed his hand, he was acutely aware of a giddy tingling shooting up his arm at the touch. "Little things go a long way." He couldn't help but grin bashfully at her words. "Anyway, we're here. You want to come up?"
Megamind stuck a finger in his mouth and made a gagging sound, unintentional charm flying out the window. "I've had enough gawking for today."
She unbuckled and slid outside, he could only see her from the shoulders down, "Suit yourself. I'll just be a minute."
For a few moments he sat there in the oppressive quiet, fidgeting and watching people pass by. Then a little girl and her father, (or rather, who Megamind assumed to be her father, it appeared for all intensive purposes that was the case), walked by. If the man had been alone, there wouldn't have been an issue, but the little girl was right at eye level, and quick to notice the vehicle's unusual occupant. She bounced up and down excitedly, pointing with one hand and grabbing her father's shirt sleeve with the other.
Distress settled in the pit of Megamind's stomach, and he slouched low, hoping they would just walk on. He wasn't surprised when his hope proved fruitless, the little girl pressed her face against the window and motioned for him to roll down the window. Her father leaned down to glance in the car. He attempted to look inconspicuous, like he was embarrassed to be peering into a strangers car (which he rightfully should be), but his curious desire to see Metro City's new hero overwhelmed any social stigma.
Megamind scowled at the little girl, shooing her away with a gesture of his hand. His scowl fell off of his face as her father glared back at him. He smiled nervously, cowering even lower in his chair. The girl's father looked disappointed, and ushered his daughter along.
When they were at a sufficient distance away, and no other pedestrians were on the approach, Megamind rushed out of the car and to the elevator. He pressed the button once. Then twice. Then in a fit of panic he continued jabbing at the unassuming button until the doors finally opened. He was in such a hurry to get in, out of eyesight that he ran right into Roxanne who was heading in the exact opposite direction.
"What-Oh-Are-It's-You-Just-Doing-You?" Neither of them were quite sure what the other said, their voices merging into gibberish.
"What are you doing?" Roxanne repeated.
Megamind cleared his throat, backing out of the elevator and offering her the exit. "I forgot I wasn't in the Invisible Car." He confessed sheepishly.
"What does that matter?"
"I was getting gawked at."
Roxanned rolled her eyes. "People are going to be looking at you, you know, it's part of the gig."
"And has nothing to do with my monumental az-oooor cranium."
"There's nothing wrong with your head, Megamind. They can't get used to it if they never see it."
Megamind huffed, following her back to her car. "What were you getting anyway?"
Roxanne held up a flash drive as she slipped back in her car. "Going to get some extra work done tonight. El Mapache is still big news. You are too. People are starting to wonder why you haven't caught him yet."
"Maybe I don't want to. Everyone expects me to save the day-everyone expects me to fix everything." Megamind was waving his hands above his head in exasperation and she stared at him in suprise. "But they won't let me do it." Finally his arms dropped defensively across his chest. "If everyone wants him caught so bad, maybe they should find him." He looked over at Roxanne, who had yet to start the car. "I'm not a super hero. I can't see through walls, or shoot lasers out of my eyes... Without my inventions I'm just a freak."
Roxanne gaze turned sympathetic, "Megamind..."
"No. Just take me home." He looked away and rested his forehead against the window. "I was better off as a villain." He added quietly as she started the car, "At least then I was super."