Chapter Two
The week passes by in a slow, frustratingly anticipating drag, typical of the last few weeks before Winter break and, typical of a week with plans with Ezra lingering at the end of it. Luckily, or unluckily depending on how I look at it, I'm never short of homework, tests to study for and of course, the odd bit of family drama.
Mom and dad have been not so secretly at each other's throats ever since September, always at night when they think my brother Mike and I are sleeping. By morning, we're the model family, all "would you pass the orange juice, please?" and "did you sleep well?". But there's no denying that something is definitely wrong and although neither Mike nor I say it, we're both fearing for our parents marriage.
Mike and I aren't as close lately and it's unsettling. He's just over a year younger than me, but at least a foot taller and I'm commonly known as Little Aria throughout the family, much to Mike's amusement. He plays for the lacrosse team, and the soccer team and the basketball team and although his grades don't exactly benefit from all his extra-curricular activities, he somehow keeps his C average across school and already has high hopes of some sort of sports scholarship to get into USC in a few years. Most of the time though, that just means Mike's never around. He's either at practice, at a game, at a pep rally or just hanging out with "the guys" around town and I can't help but miss the days we'd hang out together. I guess Little Aria just isn't cool enough for him anymore and without sounding like a mom, I should be glad he's happy and growing up with big aspirations for himself.
"Mom, you remember I'm staying over at Spencer's tonight, right?" I say, taking a sip of orange juice.
"Aria, what? Friday night is family night. You know that," my mom, Ella, looks over the top of her glasses at me, frowning slightly.
"But mom, I asked you Monday if I could stay over at Spencer's and you said it was fine," I protest, my stomach already sinking.
My mom scratches her head, thinking about something.
"I did? Wow, my head is all over the place these days… Well, I'm sorry, Aria, you'll have to cancel. You already have plans with your family,"
"Aria, it's fine. You don't have to cancel. We have family night every Friday. Missing one week won't hurt. Besides, Mike has a game anyway so he won't be back until late. It's fine, go ahead. Have fun," my dad, Byron, leans over to grab a slice of toast from the rack, ruffles my hair and smiles at me.
Mom sighs audibly and stands up from the table.
"Byron, Aria knows Friday night is family night. We shouldn't have to cancel our plans together just for her. Mike can't help having a game, Aria can see Spencer any night she likes, not to mention all day at school,"
"Mom, Dad, it's fine, I'll cancel. I can stay over on Saturday or something," I stutter, trying to save the peaceful breakfast before it evaporates completely into chaos.
"No, Aria, stay at Spencer's. Your mom and I can go to Mike's game and you can go have fun with your friend. It's fine,"
"Byron…"
"Ella…"
Mom sighs again. Dad starts loading up the dishwasher with the dirty breakfast plates. I shift uncomfortably in my seat. Mom shoots me a disappointed glance and I stand up swiftly before the guilt can sink me into the ground.
"I'll see you guys tomorrow then, um, wish Mike luck on the game and don't forget to text me the final score," I say quickly, picking up my bag and exiting the house.
Once safely in my car, I throw my bag on the passenger seat and exhale loudly. Tears prick the back of my eyes without warning and I rub my temples. I've never seen mom and dad fight like that, ever, and especially not over something I caused. If this is anything to lead by, Christmas is going to be a bundle of joy this year, I think sarcastically to myself.
Before I can think myself into any further negativity about the unsteady balance of my parents' marriage, my phone vibrates and snaps me out of it.
"Aria! Oh my god, Aria. Where are you?!" it's Hanna, either really, really excited or really, really, terrified about something.
"Um, it's 7:30 in the morning, Hanna. I'm where you should be right now, on the way to school. Why? What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong, Aria, oh my God, I'm just so happy!" I can practically hear her bouncing up and down on the other end of the phone.
"Why? What happened?"
"I just checked Caleb's Facebook page and he's finally changed his relationship status! It's like we're finally official!"
I roll my eyes.
"Hanna, you and Caleb have been together since the end of September. What's not official about the fact that he kisses you in the hallways and barely ever lets go of your hand?"
"Aria, you don't understand. It's like he's finally made the commitment. Aria, this is huge okay! Why aren't you more excited?"
I laugh quietly to myself and start the engine.
"Hanna, he's hardly proposed to you, he just clicked a few buttons on a social networking site. But if it makes you so happy, congratulations. I'll drop off your wedding gift on the way to school,"
"Ah, shit, school. Oops, I keep forgetting it's still Friday. Oh my god, I'll see you in Trig, Aria!" I can hear Hanna moving around all of a sudden. Knowing her, she's likely not even out of bed yet.
Laughing, I reply, "Hanna, we don't have Trig today. But we do have a social studies test that I'm sure you haven't forgotten to study for, right?"
"Shit! Oh my god, I'll have to study in the car on the way, shit, shit, shit. I'll see you in school, Aria," Hanna hangs up abruptly, probably on her way to the shower with her textbook. I laugh softly as I pull out of the driveway. Hanna and her air-headedness has already really brightened my day, as usual. I make a mental note to highlight some key facts from my study notes to give to Hanna over lunch. If there's anything I don't want, it's my best friend having to repeat a grade and spend every Thursday night in detention with Mr Tords until she passes.
"Oh my god, I just love that play. Of course, it doesn't compare to the feeling of holding a book in your hands and reading the words for yourself, but it comes close,"
Ezra takes my hand as we exit the theatre, babbling passionately about Romeo & Juliet as if it's the first time he's ever seen it. I smile, nodding, rubbing my thumb against his hand.
"And didn't you just love the way the actor showed how distraught Romeo is when he thinks Juliet is dead? Man, I've never seen anyone do it so perfectly,"
Ezra continues to talk wildly, often dropping my hand and gesturing to add emphasis on his words until we reach the car.
"Ezra, anyone would think you were an overpaid English teacher with the way you're smiling and babbling on about the play right now," I laugh as Ezra opens the passenger side door for me.
He kisses the top of my head softly, laughing into my hair and I breathe in his delicious scent.
"And anyone would think you were a hopeless, romantic AP English student with the way you sobbed through the final few scenes, Aria," he teases, moving his lips from my hair to my cheek.
I laugh too, blushing slightly. I'm such a sucker for a romantic piece of literature performed before my eyes. Always have been.
"Maybe that's why we're so good together then?" I smile, kissing Ezra gently on the lips.
I feel him smile into my mouth and my stomach flutters. I love feeling him smile as we kiss.
"I think you're right," he whispers, kissing my head again before walking over and climbing into the car next to me.
He starts the engine and then looks over at me.
"Now, where to, my lady?" he says in a really, really bad English accent.
I laugh. "Back to your palace, my prince?"
"As you wish, my love. I do hope my servants found time to clear away the remains from the breakfast feast this morning whilst I was out slaying dragons and rescuing princesses all day," Ezra says as we pull away, his English accent getting worse as the sentence progresses.
"Ezra, there are no dragons and rescuing princesses in Shakespeare. You of all people should know that," I say, matter of factly.
Ezra laughs. "True. And there are also no servants in my palace, so breakfast plates are likely to still be on the table like always. Sorry, Aria. I didn't get time to clean up this evening. I had two people in detention and-"
"Ezra, it's fine. Honestly. You're doing that thing where you get freaked out over nothing, okay? Stop it," I place my hand on his thigh and give it a reassuring squeeze.
It's quiet for a minute or two as we drive through the streets of Philadelphia, almost deserted, typical of early December on an unusually icy, cold night. Christmas lights are already hung and glowing outside a number of houses, inflatable snowmen and Father Christmases on the porches of a few, smiling into the night. Already the roads are glistening with frost and the sky above is navy blue, enlightened by a billion stars. As corny as it sounds, being here with Ezra tonight feels perfectly poetic.
Suddenly Ezra stops the car and pulls into the side of the road parking bay.
"I just wanted to make a quick pit-stop. Here, come with me," he says, unfastening my seatbelt and reaching into the backseat for something.
"Ezra, it's freezing out, where are we going?" I protest, zipping up my coat and pulling on my gloves.
"Aria, trust me. You're going to love this. Just keep your coat fastened and your hand in mine and you'll be fine, I promise,"
Hearing him say that soothes me and all my muscles relax, my previous anxiety a thing of the past.
He takes my hand and, after locking the car, leads me through some huge iron gates and out onto a vast playing field, no longer green grass but silver, sparkling frost. Ezra lets go of my hand for a few seconds to lay out a picnic blanket, with a waterproof bottom I notice, on the glittering ground. He lies down on the blanket, gesturing for me to join him.
"Are you crazy? It's the middle of the night and it's freezing. You want to have a picnic now?" I protest, stalling only to admire Ezra lying so perfectly on the ground below me, his eyes gleaming as bright as the ice, visible puffs of air leaving his mouth as he breathes. He looks so warm and cosy, all tucked up in his Winter coat and matching woollen scarf and I'm having a hard time resisting throwing myself on top of him and curling up inside it with him.
"We're not having a picnic, Aria. Just lie down and you'll see,"
Lying down, slightly begrudgingly next to Ezra he points skywards.
"Look," he simply whispers, taking my hand.
At first I'm baffled as to what he's pointing at but in the few seconds it takes for my eyes to focus, I begin to realise.
Infinite space. That's what he's pointing at.
I've never seen a night sky so clear and full of stars before. As far as my eyes can see in every direction are billions, upon billions of shimmering stars, twinkling innocently in the darkness, millions of light years away, yet right there just out of our reach. My heart slows down in my chest, beating steadily, in as much awe as my eyes at this unfathomably beautiful sight. I've never seen anything more stunning in my whole life. It's the kind of sight that makes anything seem possible. The kind of sight that melts all your problems and leaves them pea-sized before firing them off into the distance. Out of sight, out of mind. It's the kind of sight that makes you realise what a small part you play in the world, whilst still making you feel larger than life.
And having Ezra right beside me, witnessing I'm sure, exactly the same soul-tingling sky just makes this moment even more perfect.
I squeeze his hand tightly, not able to form a sentence, only capable of a small movement. Somehow, I know Ezra knows exactly what I'm trying to say.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?" he whispers, not taking his eyes off of the sky.
"That's one word for it," I whisper back, knowing that not a single word in any dictionary nor in any language could completely describe the sheer beauty before our eyes right now.
Ezra rolls over onto his side and watches me. After a long minute, I meet his eyes. A shiver escapes me, running through my body like electricity. I'm not sure whether it's from the cold or from the intimacy of this moment.
"Are you cold?" Ezra asks, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.
I nod, slightly, afraid to break his contact.
"Come here," he whispers, pulling me into his chest and wrapping his arms around me.
Despite our relationship being over 4 months long so far, this is the closest we've ever been.
"Do you know how much I've wanted to hold you like this, Aria?"
I don't speak, knowing Ezra's question is rhetorical. Instead I just pull his arms tighter around me.
"I know our situation isn't exactly ideal, what with me teaching you everyday and you having to constantly lie to your parents and your friends and basically everybody you care about but, I don't know, call me crazy but I think it makes what we have more special, you know? Being with you like this means so much more, knowing that the next time we get a moment like this could be weeks or even months away,"
I sigh, understanding exactly what he means.
"As much as I wish I could hold your hand in the hallway at school or kiss you by my locker or take you home to meet my parents, I know you're right, Ezra. I can't help wishing we could just freeze time right now though, and then you'd never have to let me go," I whisper, unusually unafraid of saying exactly how I feel.
Ezra kisses my head once, then twice and I feel his warm breath in my hair. I feel so safe in his arms.
"I love you, Aria," he whispers, into my hair.
My heart skips a beat, hearing him say those words. It's the first time he's ever said them, face to face. We say them all the time during a text or e-mail or at the end of a secret night-time phone call but never once have we ever said them like this.
I twist around so I'm facing him, his face just millimetres away from mine, so close I can feel his breath on my frozen skin.
Between kisses I mumble, "I love you too,"