A/N: Sorry for the long wait for this chapter! :D Some lines are taken from in-game (I can't help it that Bioware has excellent writers). Please enjoy!

Despite the numerous dates that she had taken part in, she had to say that none had ended quite as horribly as the one with Joker had.

If it could even really be called a date.

She laid in the fishy water that she had fallen through and internally cursed her choice of attire as she struggled to catch her breath.

"Next damn time, even if I don't wear armor, I'm wearing some damn pants and appropriate shoes," she spat, throwing her shoes away from herself.

She struggled to sit up- knowing that she had absolutely no medi-gel (wasn't like there was anywhere to put it in the dress she was wearing) just made everything so much better.

"You should've thought ahead, Arabelle," she scolded herself. "Should've stuffed some medi-gel down your bra or something."

With a groan, she finally made it to her feet- once again cursing her vanity.

"Commander!" Brooks all but shouted over the comm. "I found a secure terminal, don't worry. How're you doing?"

That was the million credit question. She had gotten lucky. Well…as lucky as one can be when they ruin a hundred and twenty-five credit dress.

But, she was alive.

"Doing just peachy, thanks," she managed, still trying to catch her breath. As she made her way…somewhere…she remembered, "Brooks- you got hit."

"I did," the other woman said easily. "I used medi-gel- a lot."

Lucky bitch, Shepard thought bitterly.

"Well," Brooks continued, "actually, um, all of it. Now everything's all bouncy."

Okay. So Stupid Bitch was a much better description.

Sighing (and trying not to think of the amount of abuse her body had recently attained), she said, "That probably means you used too much."

Dumb ass, she thought, making her way down a latter.

"Can I do anything to help?"

Frowning, Shepard managed to jump across a decent sized gap. "Call C-Sec and let them know what's going on. Me…I'll work on finding a way out."

She progressed in blissful silence for a few minutes. Despite that, her head was thumping with a headache that she couldn't afford.

Of course the first time she'd dressed up for a date in years ended with her bloody, tattered, and smelling like fish.

Just fracking typical.

Never a day off for the infamous Commander Arabelle Shepard.

"Brooks, I spotted some skycars…maybe a landing pad…."

She was silent for a moment. "Cision Motors?"

"That'd be it. Get a shuttle to meet me there. I'll find a way to it."

"Done. By the way, C-Sec has the whole area locked down."

"Meaning?" Shepard asked.

"It'll be tricky to get you a shuttle."

"Nothing's ever simple," Shepard muttered. "Well, stay on it."

"Your comm is hacked, by the way. Stay off of it. Besides me, that is."

"Any clue to who these guys are?"

"Nope, but they don't really seem to like you."

"I've already figured that out, thanks," Shepard said sarcastically. "It doesn't help me figure out who they are."

Her feet felt raw and she absolutely hated the entire situation. Hell, she didn't even know if Joker made it out okay.

"Dad and I really need to have a good, long talk about the merits of Shoreleave during a time of active war," she muttered, carefully taking aim at one of the thugs below her.

The shot managed to take down the guy when her comm came to life. "Ah, Lola, you telling me you aren't having fun?"

Shepard chuckled- even as bullets flew around her. "I had slightly different plans for my leave, thanks." She paused long enough to take out another guy. "How's Joker- he make it out alright?"

"Other than constantly muttering something about being bait? Better than you- I heard you made your exit by fish tank," he cackled.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, laugh it up, Meat Head," she muttered, pausing long enough to steal a few clips off some of the fallen bad guys.

"You know who's after you, Lola?"

"No clue, but they don't really seem to like me," she shrugged, despite knowing that he couldn't see her.

"Not helpful."

"Who is this?" Brooks demanded. "You're putting Commander Shepard's life in danger."

Great. The babysitter is back.

Damn.