Chapter 2
Rachel sat in the toilet for what felt like hours when in reality it was only 3 minutes. She looked down at the white stick in front of her and she couldn't believe what she was seeing she closed her eyes hoping that she would wake up and this would all be some horrible dream. She walked out of the toilet and came face to face with the doctor. When her worst nightmare was confirmed she was told to make an appointment to have a scan to determine when the baby was due. She said thank you and goodbye to the doctor , made the appointment at reception and walked slowly home.
When she got home she sat in her bed thinking about what she was going to do she had already decided that she was going to keep the baby because having a baby was one of the things that she had wanted since she was a child along with becoming a teacher which she had accomplished so why couldn't she do this as well. But she still didn't know what she was going to do about telling him she knew that she had to tell him somehow because if the roles were reversed she would want to know but she knew that she couldn't go and see him because it would upset her to much and also he would probably still be with his wife. With that thought in mind she fell into an uneasy sleep.
Rachel awoke the next morning and wondered why her dream had felt so real when the reality hit her when she felt sick again and realising that she hadn't been dreaming and this was actually happening she got out of bed and ran into the bathroom to start the morning routine over again. She now knew that her life had to change and that she had to start looking after herself properly for the sake of her baby. She decided that she needed to buy some food supplies if she was gonna survive for longer than the next few days. So she got dressed into her favourite jeans and t-shirt that in a couple of weeks time wouldn't fit so she had to make the most of them while they did. She got into her car and drove to the nearest Tesco , she had always hated food shopping because she always felt like people were watching and judging her but she knew that she had to for the sake of her and her unborn baby's health.
After what felt like hours of shopping she got back in her car and drove home with a clearer picture of what she was going to do. She had decided that she was going to write him a letter explaining everything to him to try to make him understand that she didn't blame him and she was hoping that he would get her letter but she was unsure of what she wanted him to do once he read her letter. She got home unpacked her shopping made a large bowl of chocolate ice cream with marshmallows which she hadn't eaten since she was a kid when her granddad used to make it for her whenever she was hurt or sad.
She sat on the sofa and began to write her letter:
Dear Eddie
I wrote this letter because I have something I need to tell you but, I don't know how you are going to react and I couldn't tell you face to face because it would upset me too much to see you again. I guessed you wouldn't want to see me not now you have her and I hope that you are happy with her and just in case you were wondering I am not planning some sort of reappearance as revenge even though I am guessing that you haven't told her about me. Of course you haven't you are probably too busy playing happy families to even think about me. I also need you to know that I am no longer angry at you for what you did I have put it all behind me now and I hope you have too. And I hope that we can try to be friends because I really miss having you around to support my ideas when nobody else does . Oh yeah your probably thinking when is she going to tell me why she wrote this letter well you know me well enough to know that I am very nervous about writing this and telling you what I want to tell you. When I am nervous I tend to drone on and on so for that I am sorry. What I wanted to tell you is that I'm pregnant and before you ask yes it is your child but I understand if you never want to see me or it again. I had to tell you and leave that decision up to you because I would never be able to live with myself if my child had to grow up without his/her dad knowing it was my fault that you were never there. So if you do want to see him/her I am not going to stop you, but I also don't want to force you into something you don't want. So there I have said what I wanted to say so now it is up to you.
Lots of xoxoxoxox
Rachel
Ps . I still love you and I always have and always will
There she had written it now all she had to do was send it and wait to see what would happen, and what he would decide to do. Part of her hoped that he would come back because part of her felt that she couldn't do this by herself but the more rational side of her thought that why would he leave his wife for me, and why can't I do this by myself, I have spent most of my life by myself and that hasn't turned out to badly. After sealing the letter in an envelope and putting it by her keys, so that she would remember to post it on the way to work tomorrow, She lay on the sofa and tried to watch the TV. Her eyes felt too heavy because she had wasted all heR energy today on shopping and writing the letter.