Chapter 1: Let's Not Discuss Vaginas and Say We Did
A/N: So this is a fic that involves a lot of OCs the children of the original wolf pack. So I will give you a short run down to ease any sort of confusion, here is a family snapshot for you:
Mark and David: Sam and Emily's twin boys.
Trisha: Paul and Rachel's only child.
Ethan, Taylor, Amber, Annabelle (Brady's infant imprint): Jared and Kim's kids.
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Pathetic Ramblings of a Homosexual Werewolf: Act I
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"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love."
-Neil Gaiman
I was supposed to be working, we were supposed to be working, my brother David and I. We worked at Quil Ateara's corner store for the summer, taking over for him since he was now completely useless. Why you ask is a six foot three werewolf rendered completely useless? Because his five foot nil teenage girlfriend Claire, young and wild, was now traipsing around Europe for six months.
Today however, the store was being manned by Seth. So instead of eating ice cream and making cash, we sat in Quil's living room, wishing the world would stop rotating so we wouldn't have to live through this forced sex-talk. We had had this talk too many times, and I prayed that at least this talk didn't include discussion of vaginas which generally creeped me out.
Quil looked like shit, I felt sorry for the guy. He looked around making sure he had our full attention before he started, Taylor was obviously not enthused.
"Taylor man, look, pay attention! I'm only going to say this shit once! Your chicken shit dads got me giving you the sex-talk thanks to Ethan's roaming hands, so let's get this over with," Quil said evil-eyeing Ethan as he spoke. Ethan Cameron was the reason for this whole god-forsaken sex-talk, he and his girlfriend got caught getting touchy feely in the nether regions.
This wouldn't have been a problem if Ethan, hadn't stupidly picked a girlfriend within the pack circle.
"Man, Quil. I love ya dude, but you know I've already had this talk with Collin and dad, I'm sorta set on the sex thing," David said winking at me. I cringed internally at the memory of our previous failed sex-talks.
"Yeah, yeah. Well if Hands here hadn't gotten caught we wouldn't be having this talk again, now would we?" Quil said scratching the back of his neck, which he did when he was annoyed.
"Aww, come on Quil. I've known her since we were babies, she's my best friend, what did you guys expect? It's not a big deal, if I was a wolf this whole thing wouldn't be an issue and Paul would chill the fuck out," Ethan huffed.
"How would you being a wolf get you out of shit? Your hands were—look, I can't even say where your hands were—"
"If you can't talk about genitalia, then you are not the right guy to give us a sex-talk," I interrupted, chuckling. It was true, how could they give us the only wolf that was shy when it came to discussing sex? I also had the ulterior motive of trying to steer the discussion away from any vulgar terms used to describe lady bits.
"Anyways," Ethan said archly, "if I were a wolf, I'd be imprinted on her and then no one would be freaking out about where my hands have and have not been. We'd be set to marry and no one would care!"
"That sentence was full of so much shit I don't even know where to start. One, she's 14, the most your hands should be doing is holding each others, with supervision! Two, Paul doesn't care if you are wolf or not, that's his daughter and he'd want to kill you either way! Three, imprinting doesn't mean you get married at fourteen this is not Alabama and four, who says you'd imprint on her?"
"Of course I'd imprint on her, she's my best friend, my soul mate," Ethan argued as David rolled his eyes. David was not keen on the idea of losing his best friend permanently to a lady, which is what imprinting did. Imprinting made one woman the center of a werewolf's universe and if/when Ethan imprinted David would be alone… well not alone, he'd have me, but I was always second best in David's world.
"Ugh! Come on Ethan. Your soul mate? You sound like such a fairy!" David screamed.
I honestly had no idea what side of the fence my twin brother landed on when it came to gays, but like most teenage boys, gay cracks were a permanent fixture in his vocabulary. Hearing him say it though always made me flinch, it's bizarre seeing a mirror image of yourself saying negative things about you, it screws with your psyche.
"And who wants to be a wolf anyways?" Taylor asked rolling his eyes. Taylor and I had not hung out alone in a long time years actually, so I had no clue that I had a company in the 'stay-human-at-all-cost' party.
"What do you mean who wants to be a wolf? I do man! And so does Mark, right?" David said waiting for my reply, I nodded— it was just easier to agree with him, he wasn't likely to understand the complexities of choosing a path that didn't include fur.
"Fuck yeah, wolf-pack all the way man, it's in our blood!" Ethan grinned like a fool. I love Ethan, just like my own brother, how could I not? I have been subjected to his constant presence for the last 10 or so years, but he could be so obtuse sometimes. Did bridget of them understand the burden of being a wolf?
"Yeah, so's estrogen, doesn't mean I wanna turn into a woman," Taylor muttered. Truer words have never been spoken. I started seeing Taylor with different eyes; apparently I also had a partner in the 'my-brother's-an-idiot' club. Quil glared at him though and he shut up. I took the opportunity to get away, heading for the kitchen to grab some soda.
"Okay, fine wolf or no wolf, doesn't matter—we're here to talk about sex and you're wasting my time. I'm guessing you already know the finer details of how that works," Quil said making a lewd hand gesture that made me visualize vaginas. Gross! I had seen way too many in my life as a gay man.
David's porn collection was vast and diverse, but one thing kept them all together, an overabundance of vaginas. Seriously, sometimes up to six in one film. He forced me to watch them with him often, possibly his subconscious way of de-homosexualizing me.
"Eww man!" Taylor exclaimed, he obviously shared the aversion to vagina hand motions, but Ethan and David whooped high-fiving like half-wits. Such breeders.
"Shut up, look, you know how it's done I'm sure—"
"Yeah man, but aren't you going to give us pointers? Isn't that what this is about?" David interrupted. My brother looks just like me, identical twins and all, but it seems I stole all the common-sense genes in the womb.
"No! David, just shut up and let me get this over with. This is about respecting women. You can fantasize about and jack to them all you want, but keep their bodies pure till you're both in love and mentally ready for it, okay?" Quil glared his eyes lingering on Ethan.
"Hey! We haven't had sex! She's pure, she's pure," Ethan screamed.
"You're 15 and she's 14! You shouldn't be doing any of that! ANY of that!" Quil shook his head, his hand up in the air in exasperation. He looked pretty hilarious, but I tried not to smile.
"Quil, it's not the 90's old timer, it's the 2020's. Paul's lucky Trisha's such a prude because there could have been much worse things up her—"
"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! I used to babysit that girl, if you say one more things about her-her-her—"
"Genitalia," I offered again, I preferred to refer to it by gender neutral terms like genitalia, bits and nether regions; a term I picked up from my mother.
"Would you please stop saying that?" Quil asked.
"What would you like us to call it?" I asked sweetly, bothering him was becoming too much fun.
David grinned, "Quil you're getting the puss and you can't even talk about it? You must not be doing it right. I vote we get Embry to tell us!" Quil's expression was priceless.
"Oh god," Quil sighed before he cleared his throat and continued, "I can't do this. I give up!" Poor guy, I felt bad, he had been bribed into giving us this talk and it was going to hell quick.
"No, no. Come on, I want to hear what you have to say about it, Quil," I said smiling. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
I wouldn't mind actually doing the deed with him, he was pretty hot, but talking about it, well, that just sucked.
"I told you all that I needed to tell you. Sex is a very serious thing, it's fun yes, but it's for adults who—"
"Claire was like sixteen when you guys started grinding, man," Ethan argued. She was seventeen but I didn't argue.
"Yes well we're imprinted, and she was mature and ready to make the decision to—" Ethan snorted and Quil shot him an evil look, which he ignored and plowed on.
"Mature? She still throws tantrums and plays dress up! My seven year old sister Amber—" Quil threw a pillow at him and walked out the room.
"Shut up, man!" David screamed smacking his arm. David and Ethan were both equally too dense to know when to shut up.
"We're sorry, Quil," I said as Quil came back in the room with a beer. I hoped whatever my dad had offered Quil was worth the hassle of dealing with four annoying teenagers… well three... two actually Taylor hadn't said much.
"Quil, can I ask you something?" David said seriously. This was going to be good, he had his serious thinking face that he used when watching reality TV and the news. "How can you have sex with someone so little. Wait, I don't mean like young, I mean little. You're huge man!"
"Yeah I was wondering that too," Ethan said nodding. I was not! I would like to keep all images of little Claire, my childhood babysitter, being pounded by Quil the giant out of my head forever.
"Are you serious?" Quil asked taking a long swig.
"Yeah, man. I'm sixteen, the shift is coming, I'm going to be as big as you soon. I need to know," David said seriously.
"Brady and Krys phased right after their thirteenth birthdays, if we haven't done it yet we aren't going to," I reasoned. This was my mantra, if we haven't done it yet we aren't going to. If we haven't done it yet we aren't going to. But I didn't fully buy it.
"It's in our blood bro, have some faith," David tried to encouraged, but it left me feeling panicked.
"If I don't phase by my eighteenth birthday I'm buying a ticket to Italy and I'm going to rub myself on those vegetarian vamps until I do," Ethan vowed seriously. Again the two of them were linked, happily nodding as if Ethan had come up with some sort of brilliant stratagem.
"Um… okay. Well shapeshifter or not you always have to be careful with a lady, okay? Gentle, treat them like their made of glass," Quil said as if her were talking to an idiot, and in this case he was right, at least half of us were.
"What if they don't want you to be gentle? I heard mom say aunt Helen likes to be roughed up by Collin," David said sneering. I had heard the exact same conversation but suppressed it expertly until now; thanks David!
"It's the other way around. She likes to rough him up," Ethan corrected. Yes, how stupid of us to forget.
"I'm just going to pretend I didn't hear that and ask, how? How do you not hurt them, is it like a position thing?" I asked leaning in, it was better talking about positions than my aunt Helen the dominatrix librarian.
"Yes," was all Quil said before he quickly chugged down his beer.
"Well…" David motioned for more info. He was dumb, but he wasn't a complete idiot, he was trying to get Quil to blush, which I had to admit was kinda cute.
"Well what?" Quil spat.
"What is it? Doggy-style, from the side, on the stairs, girl on top?" David listed using his fingers to keep track.
"All of the above," Quil said dryly as Brady entered the room, holding his hands up in a sign of truce to Ethan and Taylor who were still livid with him for imprinting on their newborn sister Annabelle.
I dashed out of the house the first opportunity I got, followed closely by Taylor and Ethan, David was still trying to get pointers by the time we reached the corner.
"I can't believe Quil's trying to pass that off as a sex-talk," Taylor scoffed, as David ran to meet us.
"Hey Ethan, let's go to Mallory's. She's got this friend Aubrey you need to meet," David said winking.
"Were you not listening to anything I just said? I love Trisha man. I love her," Ethan said. David's face was blank with confusion, a look I had become accustomed to. Sometimes having an identical twin served the higher purpose of a full length mirror, which discouraged me from making faces that made me look like a caveman.
"Just come on," David said loudly pulling Ethan down the road and leaving Taylor and I standing awkwardly.
"Wanna go to the beach? Hacky-sack?" Taylor's voice was small. He didn't like asking me. He usually spent most of his time with Ethan and David, but now that they had discovered girls he was all alone. That made two of us.
"Sure," I wasn't in the mood to be assaulted by my "girlfriend" Kara today, so I followed Taylor as he headed to the beach. He liked to lead, I knew this from years of hiking experience and I took the time to examine him.
We hadn't spent much time together, or really any time together in about two years, he was about to turn fourteen if my memory served me correctly, but he didn't look it. There was something about our mutant shapeshifter genes that made him look older. He was long and angular, his shoulders slightly broader than Ethan's though he was shorter and his back was cut with long sleek muscles that were highlighted through his thin grey shirt.
I tried to keep my eyes up, but they wandered south, taking notice of his high and toned butt. I really had to stop doing that; I'd been trying for almost three years but to no avail. I was a butt man, and I liked those butts to be on men. I was gay, a fag, a homosexual. Even the word sounded dirty, homo. sexual.
"So what do you think about Paul and my dad? Do you think they are going to stay mad at each other forever or just until Ethan and Trisha's wedding?" Taylor asked as we stepped onto the sand. Taylor's dad Jared and Paul had been best friends for years, but now with the whole hands-in-the-pants incident they were at war.
"They'll get over it," I said starting the game by kicking the bean-bag lightly with my sandaled foot. "So do you really think we're not going to be wolves?" I asked. I was hopeful, but not certain.
"I'm not," he said arrogantly, turning in an elaborate maneuver to get the hacky-sack back to me. His hair spun, illuminated by the sun.
"How do you know?" I asked cocking my eyebrow, as he puffed out his chest in obvious approval of his own awesomeness.
"I'm a tai-chi master. I own my anger, my anger doesn't own me," he said making a huge circle with his hands as he kicked the hacky-sack back to me.
"Tai-chi? Cool. Where'd you learn it?" I asked, dropping the sack, I wasn't really good at this game.
"Youtube. Why?" He cocked his head to the side scrutinizing me before taking off his shirt.
"Well if it's working, maybe you could teach me." Topless if possible, I added to myself.
"So you don't want to be an over-sized dog?" he asked plopping down on the sand. I sat with him.
"No," I admitted. "I don't know what I want to do, but hunting around La Push for the rest of my life is not it."
"Yeah, I know what you mean, my dad's always broke, he can barely afford my newest sister... and they're just something unnatural about your father only looking like eight years older than you," he said leaning back. His chest was defined and it had a glowing coppery quality to it.
"Yeah, I know what you mean," I said picking up a handful of sand, a diversionary tactic to keep my eyes off of his abs.
"I can teach you, it's hard, but if you want you can try it with me. I do it every morning at five thirty though," he said as if he were challenging me.
"Okay, great," I said enthusiastically. I was not a morning person, I liked to get my beauty sleep, but it was better to be a tired man then a wolf-man.
The sun was setting, the end of the first of many days we would spend together.