Here we go with the second chapter.

I'm writing dialogues and scenes as they come to my mind.

I have a plot and I perfectly know where I want to go.

But sometimes I am going to lose myself...

Just follow me and review!

Love me, trust me

How many times do we ask people to trust us along our life? Just every day.

We need to feel the confidence, we need to feel the security.

We ask patients to put their life in our hands, we ask our boss to believe in our capabilities.

But above all, we ask our loved one to believe in our feelings. And return them on us.

It is not easy… Because we have to earn everything.

And the most depressing thing is that it takes years to build this kind of feeling, it takes seconds to destroy it and lose it.

Forever?

It's late morning. Owen is sitting in the cafeteria, a sandwich on his plate. He is playing with a fork. Teddy notices him and walks to him with her tray.

Teddy: hey, can I?

Owen: sure (he gestures towards the chair). I heard the good news…

Teddy: what?

Owen: Sloan's daughter… she is back. Is the baby born?

Teddy: not yet, not ten minutes ago at least. He was so scared when she came yesterday night

Owen: were you together? (she looks up embarrassed and find him staring at her). Sorry it is not my business, I've no right to ask you how you spend your time.

Teddy: don't worry. You have. We are friends. We can talk to each other about our partners. Anyway I was with him (she smiles widely, a mischievous grin). We were eating strawberries and…

Owen: stop Teddy please. I am not ready to hear about this (he stands up abruptly). I just can't. Excuse me (he leaves)

Teddy: Owen… (he is leaving the cafeteria. Teddy sees Cristina following him and Mark looking at her too). Well done Teddy Bear…

Derek comes back to his office. He finds Richard, Lexie and April waiting for him.

Derek: morning

Richard: Derek

Lexie and April: Dr. Sheperd (he stops abruptly when he joins his chair. He turns around looking for something)

Derek: where…

Richard: some problem?

Derek: I swear I left my coat here when I left. Dr Kepner? (April is caught unprepared he is talking to her, her cheeks are pinker than usual)

April (God he knows I took it): yes sir?

Derek: did you see if someone of the staff came in here after I left?

April: no sir, but I left your office right after you. 're you sure you were not wearing it? Maybe you left it somewhere else. In an On Call room maybe? (both Webber and Derek look at her bewildered, Richard looks at her stunned)

Richard: Dr. Kepner… how do you dare…

Derek: it is fine Richard. Maybe I left it in the cafeteria. I will check on it later. Do not waste our time with this thing. Right now we have more important issues to discuss (he gestures to the three doctors to sit on the couch. Lexie is suspicious but April avoid her glare. Derek takes the chart of the patient and leans to the front of the desk).

Richard: did they report us?

Derek: not yet. But I think we are going there sooner or later. I need to know what happened after the surgery. Don't tell me what there is written here. I still know it. I need to know everything else.

Richard: after the surgery was done, and everything seemed perfectly ok, I sent Dr. Grey to the husband to inform him (Derek looks at Lexie and invites her to speak).

Lexie: I joined him in the waiting area and told him his wife was okay. I asked him if he wanted to see her but when we got to the room…

Richard: she had stroked out.

Derek: how did it happen?

Richard: I don't know. I left Dr. Kepner to check on her and push the morphine. Parameters were fine. Everything was quite. Dr. Kepner paged me back 'cause BPs were dropping and there was no more brain activity.

Derek: all of a sudden?

April: yeah… I pushed the morphine and she had the crises.

Richard: did you give her the dose written on there?

April: sure. What do you think? I am not an idiot. I know you think I am. I made a mistake once. I don't do them always. I did what you told me.

Derek: Dr. Kepner! Calm down. We are not accusing you of anything. I just want to make clear how things went. I am certain all of you did a good job. Now go. I'll give you news when I have and ask you more if I need other information (the three doctors stand up and make their way to the door). Richard…

Richard: yes?

Derek: can you stay some more? There is something else I would like to discuss with you (Richard nods and closes the door after the girls).

(Bailey comes out from the room Little Sloan is in. A wide smile on her face while she walks to Mark).

Bailey: man whore…

Mark: yes (he stands up immediately. He is sweated and Bailey notices he is really nervous).

Bailey: so you admit you are still a bad man…

Mark: come on Bailey. Don't play with my nerves. I'm a mess here. I she all right?

Bailey: yes. She is fine. And the baby too. A beautiful boy.

Mark: oh God (he let himself falling on the chair). I'm grandpa (he buries his face in the hands and it looks like he is sobbing)

Bailey: oh sweet God… You are really a mess… (she gestures towards Torres and Callie sits near Mark. Bailey leave them alone).

Callie: Mark…. (the man keeps sobbing). Come on she is fine, the baby is fine. You don't need to worry and cry anymore.

Mark: I am not crying for that.

Callie: what? And what for then?

Mark: I am old Torres. Not only I have a teenager daughter but now even a grandchild to take care of. What if I'm not good at it? What if women find this pathetic?

Callie: Mark stop! This is pathetic you know. I thought you were genuinely worried and now the only thing you are worried about is not being able to get laid anymore.

Mark: you would too if you had ever experienced what I did experience last night. Teddy is going to leave me.

Callie: come on, I am not buying this load of crap. She is not going anywhere.

Mark: she is. She was going to tell me last night right before Little Sloan knocked. For her it is just sex.

Callie: and for you?

Mark: I don't know…

Callie: you should talk to her.

Mark: you did to Robbins?

Callie: yeah

Mark: it didn't go that well. Did it?

Callie: I think she broke up with me (after a minute Arizona walks near them without giving them and her a word). Yeah… broken up.

Teddy is at the nurses station when Cristina joins her.

Teddy: Dr. Yang…

Cristina: Dr. Altman… can I talk to you… in private? (Teddy looks at her surprised and then she follows Cristina in a supply closet).

Teddy: what's up?

Cristina: what did you tell Owen?

Teddy: what do you mean?

Cristina: what I mean is that you were having breakfast together and suddenly he walks out of the cafeteria without noticing me and armours in an on call room. I've tried to talk to him but it seems like I am invisible. He was upset yesterday evening and he decided to go to Dr. Wyatt but as he talks to you…

Teddy: I told him nothing

Cristina: nothing? You were sitting with him talking about nothing? Seriously! Would you explain me how you talk about nothing 'cause I'm not sure I get it!

Teddy: Cristina…

Cristina: don't Cristina me! Listen… Don't be afraid of hurting me 'cause I'm strong enough to take it.

Teddy: fine. You wanted it… I told Owen I was spending the night with Mark when his daughter came.

Cristina: and?

Teddy: that's all. I think he is kind of…

Cristina: jealous?

Teddy: maybe. I don't know. Maybe he is just worried as Sloan is a well known bitch and he is afraid I'm too sensitive for dating him.

Cristina: you'll talk to him

Teddy: what?

Cristina: OC 4 (Cristina slams the door and leaves Teddy alone).

The guys are in the locker room. They're having lunch on the benches.

Meredith: how did the morning go?

Alex: perfect… First your knight in shining scrubs…

Meredith: whatever!

Alex: what?

Meredith: Derek is my knight in shining whatever. Not scrubs.

Alex: whatever… is fine for you. First he plays the friend to me, then I catch Torres crying like a baby on her gone girlfriend…

Meredith and Lexie: did they break up?

Alex: it looks like.

Lexie: they're gonna fix things. They are good together. You agree? (Meredith seems doubtful).

Meredith: I don't know… When Derek and I broke up we had a secret to pull things back together.

Lexie: can we know it? (Cristina enters the locker room and sits near Meredith).

Cristina: believe me… you don't want to know that

Meredith: make up sex (everybody stops eating). Do you think they…

Alex: come on Mer I'm trying to eat here (their faces are disgusted).

Meredith: I was just asking… I've never shared more than a kiss with a girl… (Lexie starts coughing) What?

Cristina: did you kiss a girl?

Meredith: when I was young, in high school. You haven't?

Cristina: do I look like the kissing girl type? And who was her? No… no… don't tell me! Sadie???

Meredith: we were just trying to make new experiences. We were young and stupid and drunken all the time.

Alex: does the knight know?

Meredith: I probably mentioned it… How did it go with Derek, Lexie?

Lexie: fine I think. We have not received the lawsuit yet. He just wanted to analyse things all together.

Alex: who was on the case?

Lexie: Webber, Kepner and me.

Alex: well… the drunken chief and the killer resident… Good company (Cristina laughs).

Meredith: that was mean Alex. Derek trusts the Chief.

Cristina: he trusted him so much he took his job.

Meredith: that was mean too! Webber is a good surgeon, he is our teacher and Derek's too. He had issues but he is going though them. And April? It was you Cristina who said everyone did mistakes that day. She paid for us all.

Lexie: I don't know (Meredith stares at her)… She is… weird. I don't understand her. She looks like she leaves in her own space.

Cristina: the Sheperd's minion space.

Meredith: I like her (Lexie breaths heavily and bites half of the sandwich she is holding)

Richard is sitting on his ex chair and Derek on the couch.

Derek: I don't know… I will hear what the lawyer has to say and then take a position. Jennings wants me to report tomorrow. They're afraid of another scandal…

Richard: such as the ex chief's drinking mode?

Derek: no… such as the actual chief's killing people mode.

Richard: come on Shep… Your mistake was an accident. It had never happened to you as you're the best (Derek looks at him, a frown on his face). You know you are. You were and you still are. What I did… to the hospital and myself… that was a scandal. Anyway… don't worry… You'll survive this…

Derek: I am not afraid for the job

Richard: not?

Derek: no, it's just… I have a feeling…. Before and even now. As something was lacking in the puzzle but I can't see it. I have this strong feeling something is not going as it should. People were starting to earn confidence and these problems…

Richard: are you talking about Dr. Kepner?

Derek: yeah… but not just her

Richard: she is weird. When she asked you if you had left your coat in an on call room (Derek burst out laughing)

Derek: yes… that was fun. Anyway you should now I don't use on call rooms anymore.

Richard: did you want to talk to me about this?

Derek: no… (he stands from the couch and looks for something on his desk. Richard is standing up) Stay. It's better that chair do not take the shape of my ass. Here it is (he takes a file and handles it to Webber. It is Izabel Stevens' file).

Richard: it's Stevens' bill (he looks again and again to the papers. He seems stunned like he did not remember that file).

Derek: I did not know there was one. Karev told me this morning.

Richard: was he cursing me?

Derek: not at all… We were talking… Just because you made some mistakes it does not mean people does not love and respect you anymore.

Richard: but this mistake was big… I pushed that girl away when she needed us more than ever.

Derek: do you think I can correct this thing? The economical problem at least?

Richard: are you doing it 'cause you think I did wrong or because Karev is your room mate?

Derek: what do you think? (Richard looks down thinking)

Richard: I think it is amazing how you can take your private life out of your job after all. I wish I could make it too (he stands up). I will write a note to the board saying I misread the papers. Being a staff member and being that I misread a lot of things recently, they will buy it.

Derek: thanks (Richard leaves the office. Derek sits back in his chair)

Callie enters the attending locker room and finds Arizona taking off her scrubs. She seems unsure of what to do, of how to behave. It's Arizona who makes the first step and kisses her on the cheek.

Arziona: hey (she notices the puzzled expression on Callie's face) what? Can't I kiss my girlfriend now?

Callie: am I still it? (Arizona laughs at her)

Arizona: sure… why? Did you break up with me? 'Cause I swear I did not realize it.

Callie: I thought it was you who broke up with me yesterday. After the kids thing.

Arizona: oh… I… Look… If you want kids now, well yes, we should break up as I'm not ready. But I get your reasons, I respect that. And if you will be patient, I will be ready someday. Maybe… I can, if you want.

Callie: really?

Arizona: I love you… You know it right? (Callie nods) That's all it takes to make agreements. I am not ready to live without you. You have to trust me about this thing. And wait. (Callie embraces her)

Callie: there is no problem in waiting. I do not want kids now. And above all, I do not want them without you.

Arizona: deal?

Callie: deal!

Teddy enters the OC4. Lights are off but she can see someone laying on the bed. She could recognize that silhouette everywhere.

Teddy: Owen… (he does not evens stir. Louder) Owen (nothing). Ok, you wanted this! (She turns all the lights on). I'm talking to you Major! The least you can do is looking me in the eye!

Owen: what do you want?

Teddy: I want you to look at me first of all (as he does not move an inch she takes his arm and pulls hard. Owen reacts to the unexpected touch and stands up violently). What the hell…

Owen: I'm asking you what the hell you want

Teddy: I just want to know what's going on with you 'cause, God knows, I don't know how to behave to you.

Owen: I don't know what you mean…

Teddy: oh you don't? Don't get me stupid! I tell you I love you and you avoid me. I tell you I want to be you friend and you keep avoiding me. Now I start dating someone else and we still can't communicate… You leave as if I did something wrong and close yourself in here when even your girlfriend can't join you. So… Who's got a problem? You or me?

Owen: I did not send Cristina away…

Teddy: You did! Otherwise she would have not come to me and sent me here. Do you know how humiliating it was to me telling her we were talking about Mark this morning?

Owen: wait… did you tell her I was jealous?

Teddy: you are not?

Owen: no!

Teddy: really? So you don't give a crap if yesterday night he has spreading cream on me and licking it away while we made love (Owen turns to look at her, a wild look in his eyes, he rises a hand and gets near Teddy)

Owen: don't… (he stops when he sees she has made a step back. He looks at his open hand). I… sorry

Teddy: you're saying too much often lately… You know what? I would grab my things and take the first flight if I thought I could help you. But it's not me the problem (Owen keeps going up and down the room). Why did you call me here if you can't even stand to look at me? (he looks at her but does not answer). Was this some kind of test? You wanted me here to see if you still proved something or did you want to torture me showing your new girlfriend? Come on Major I'm waiting here…

Owen: don't call me that! I… we were friends. I wanted you here and that was enough. I did not expect this to be so hard. I did not expect coming back to America being so difficult. I feel like I can't live here. This is not my home anymore.

Teddy: what are you talking about?

Owen: how can you do it? How can you forget what we saw in Iraq? How can you not see the faces of all the people who died in our arms? I can still feel the blood on my hands and I can do it anymore… When you asked me to help that woman die… it was not her I saw, it was him and I can't let him go. I can't let anyone go. At night I am afraid of sleeping. I have nightmares all nights and I wake up screaming and Cristina is afraid but I can't tell her why (he is talking rapidly and shaking violently) and I end up hurting everyone (Teddy hugs him and rubs his back, Owen has started crying)

Teddy: calm down… It's fine… Breath… It's okay (she lets go of him and takes his face in her hands. Tears are wetting his cheeks). You need help Owen. You need to let Cristina help you. You need to let me help you. We are going through this together. I love you. You know it. You have to trust me. I love you.

Hunt: me too.

Forever is a long way to hold grudge.

You can try, but finally you have to give up.

Trust… is a state of mind.

Just like love.

You can do everything to built it and then destroy it.

But it just turns back, like a boomerang.

Meredith, Cristina, Alex and Lexie leave the locker room ready to go home. They meet Callie and Arizona walking hand in hand.

Meredith: make up sex

Cristina: shut up! Get your ass out of there!

Meredith goes to Derek's office. He is there waiting for her. He turns off his office's lights but as they go out Meredith collides with April, already in her street clothes. April's bag falls down. Before she can react Meredith is helping her putting things inside. She stops abruptly when she notices Derek's coat in her bag. She pulls the item out. Derek is stunned as well and they both stare at April who seems frozen.

Meredith: what…. (she gets up taking the bag in her hands and holding the coat collar). What the hell are you doing with his coat in your bag? (April looks at her afraid). I'm talking to you! (her voice is very high now. People is staring)

Derek: Mer stop… We don't need a scene now. Give her the bag.

Meredith: but…

Derek: honey, please (he takes the bag out of her hand and gives it and its content to April). Let's go home. Please… (Meredith nods. She sends a contemptuous glare to April and goes away).

Derek: I wait you in my office tomorrow morning Dr. Kepner. 8.30 (April does not give any sign to have understood or heard. She stands frozen looking absent minded over Derek, who has already joined Meredith. Honey… he had called her honey… How could that be?

Prepare yourself: keep your guard on.

The more you trust people, the more they hurt you back.