First Kiss

Was It supposed to happen like this?

She was 16 years old, and had warned him that she'd never kissed anyone before but her mom, and she's not sure that counted. He had laughed down the phone, not in a mean way but an 'ahhh Clary you worry too much' kind of way.

"don't worry about it, I mean I don't have much experience, I just want to kiss you"

"I want to kiss you too" she couldn't believe she was talking about this across the phone. In the books and movies all the characters are always talking to eachother, their words bounce back and forth and make so much sense and fit together so perfectly that you can tell it's scripted, this is what confused her, this is how she didn't know how to talk to people. Were conversations supposed to go like that? Was she the one that was doing it wrong? Or was she right, in which case, did anyone really know how to do things or talk to eachother, because everyone else got along just fine, so again, she would be out of place, maybe she thought about it too much, like was this phone call a big deal or not? Was this how the lead up to the first kiss was supposed to go?

"Clary? Are you still there?" a voice asked in her ear, making her snap out of another big thought she felt she was too young and too in-experienced to fully be bothered with.

"yeah I'm here"

"oh, good, you went quiet for a second"

"sorry, just lost in thought" she mumbled

"what were you thinking about?" he asked, and she could hear that he knew the answer in his voice

"you" she smiled, of course that was a lie, but it was the answer he was expecting, which is what she meant, that was the right thing to say, he knew it, she knew it, it's what would have happened in a movie or book, so is that the kind of thing that you're meant to say in real life, if so, why did she have to lie? Shouldn't she be thinking about him and not how wrong this feels? Maybe then she didn't love him, she hadn't said she had, but he was thinking it, so then should she kiss him? She wanted to-

"that's a crying shame because I'm thinking about food" she heard the smirk in his voice and laughed.

THIS felt right.

"y'know, I am too now actually-" she was cut off mid-sentence by the sound of a knock at the door. "you're going to have to wait, I think my lover is at the door"

"tell him to bring chicken, I'm on my way over now" Jace smiled.

"I'll tell him that" she said as she hopped off the couch and skipped across the living room towards the apartment door.

"and extra sauce, chicken isn't chicken unless it has sauce"

"because that makes sense" she opened the front door as the phone hung up.

"I think it makes perfect sense" Jace said as she let him in, clutching the bag of food to his chest to keep him warm against the cold outside.

"you would" she laughed as he pulled her on the couch next to him, he liked to 'snuggle' apparently, hold her close, one arm over her shoulder, the other holding her hand, another 'lovey' thing she couldn't get the hang of, he'd do it for hours, sitting there doing nothing but rubbing circles on her shoulder with his thumb, for hours, but she'd just lie there thinking about how uncomfy she was and whether or not he could tell and if he'd do anything about it, if she was doing it right and looking up at the right moments and saying the right things back and trying not to look like she'd rather jump out the window than stay there a second longer.

She wasn't about to let that happen this time though.

"nope, let's eat instead, I mean you're cute and everything but this chicken's hotter" she winked at him and smiled as she opened the take-away dish, he laughed and opened his own as she flicked the TV on with the remote.

Thinking about it, this might have been a worse idea, if there was anything worse than being awkward, but being able to hide it, it was being awkward and not being able to.

Eating in front of boyfriends.

supposedly girls aren't supposed to eat a lot in front of guys, whether it makes them look unattractive or something she doesn't know, she eats fine in front of Simon, but if she left loads isn't that rude? He'd just gone out and paid for it all, and it must have cost a lot to him, considering how his work pays out. Or doesn't.

she decided to watch the amount he ate, and just stay behind him, when he finished she'd say she was full.

It worked a treat, there wasn't any insult taken but there wasn't any judgement towards her either.

"god I'm stuffed!" she exclaimed, putting her hands behind her head and leaning back into the couch, "I'm sorry I can't eat anymore" she apologised.

"don't worry about it, I know there was a lot there, I got you a large and didn't expect you'd eat it all, just didn't want you to go hungry, you're so tiny" he said as he finished his last mouthful

She wasn't sure what that meant but the first thought that ran through her head was that was a large?!

The night was drawing to a close by the time they'd put on both of their favourite movies and snuggled more, her mom would be home soon and he was just about to leave when he dropped it.

I love you

She didn't know how to react 'oh no' came across her mind, her last boyfriend didn't understand why she couldn't say it back and it didn't end well, before she could react though, her head was cupped in his hands and his lips were on hers.

NOW she was out of her element, she watched him close his eyes and did the same too.

It wasn't a big kiss, their lips touched, she had enough time to process what was going on

his lips are soft

his lips are very soft

and warm

are my lips soft and warm?

What should i do with my hands?

Am I doing this right?

and then they were apart again..

"oh, uhm" and she brought a hand to her lips "sorry"

Sorry.

SORRY.

SORRY.

He smiled "you're beautiful you know that?"

"hell yeah I am" she joked, trying to get rid off all the panic she could feel flying round the room, wether it was hers, his or theirs.

Then her mum walked in, and he said 'see you tomorrow' and left.

She's still not sure what happened.

Like I said, these are all based off of moments in my life, but with the characters from TMI, I'm not sure how this one turned out, nad I don't really like it, so maybe once I've got better I'll re-do this entire thing, please review, constructive crit is welcomed (bear in mind it's 1:30 am) flames will be deleted.

Thank you, Alice.