Tommy was about to start the briefing even though Barbara had not arrived for work. He did not want to panic. She had not been abducted by aliens. He knew she had left his house willingly. It was easy to imagine her sitting at home wondering what had happened. When he had woken, he had been equally puzzled. One word and some raw emotions had led to a magnificent discovery of mutual affection. There had never been any indication from her before that she could love him the way she had last night. His body stirred at the memory of her lips on his skin and the way she...

"Sir?"

He turned. "Ah, Winston. Everyone ready?"

"Except Sergeant Havers. She's running late. She texted me that her bus is caught in traffic."

Tommy sighed with relief. At least she was alright and talking to someone. He could think of several reasons why she had fled, but he needed to reassure her that it was real, and that she had no reason to feel embarrassed.

Barbara arrived ten minutes into the briefing. Tommy looked calm. She suspected they would argue later about why she left, but she was not in the mood to explain. How could she tell him that she regretted last night when the only part she regretted was that it would never happen again? Tommy's reputation as a good lover was well deserved. In fact, he was better than good. He was wonderfully gentle, virile, tender, caring... He had worshipped her body and connected with her soul. In short, it had been the best night of her life. But she had known, even then, that was all she could ever have from him. The greedy, spoilt child in Tommy would expect more. He would naively think they could have a relationship. Barbara knew they would tear each other apart. It was better to stop now while they could treasure the memories.

Lynley was relieved to see her walk in ten minutes late. He wanted to walk over and kiss her and tell her that her fears were unjustified, but if he did, she would kill him on the spot, no questions asked. Their eyes briefly locked as he talked about the brutal way Beattie had been murdered. Barbara was not angry, but he could see that she was shutting him out. He closed his eyes momentarily then continued issuing orders. As the team drifted out of the room he seized his chance. "Sergeant Havers, a word in my office please."

"Yes, Sir."

Tommy stood back and let her walk in front of him. He closed and locked his door. "You didn't fancy bacon and eggs?"

Barbara looked at the ground. "Sorry. I couldn't face it."

"It being breakfast, or me?"

"Both."

Tommy put his hand on her arm but she shook him off. "I see. Are we supposed to pretend last night never happened?"

"Ideally."

Tommy closed his eyes. There was no point having a massive argument now. "I'm sorry if I have upset you in some way."

She shrugged. "It took two. You never took advantage of me."

"Barbara, last night was very special for me."

For the first time, she looked at him. She smiled and nodded. "Yeah, it was, but that wasn't who we are."

"Maybe that's exactly who we are?"

She shook her head. "No, and you know that too. It was accidental love."

"Barbara, it was not accidental. Last night defies words. You made me feel things I had never known I was capable of experiencing. You can't ask me to walk away from that."

"Do you want me to put in for a transfer?"

"What? No! You missed my point. I want to be with you. Always."

"That can never work. We're White Cliffs of Dover and Essex mudflats. Get too close and I'll stain you."

Tommy moved back. At times she was the most exasperating on the planet, and now was one of those occasions. "Don't talk nonsense. You are not a mudflat. You're more of a flowering meadow, and they grow well on top of chalk cliffs."

"See, I can't even create a good metaphor. We'll tear each other apart just like you and..." Barbara looked down.

"Helen?"

"I didn't mean that."

"I've changed a lot in the time you've known me, and so have you. Don't judge us by what we used to be, but what we are together."

She shook her head. "I can't. We fight. We... I don't know. I don't want to spend every day of my life bickering."

"We... No, neither do I. I think after last night we found we have a lot more than we thought in common. If we abandon our prejudices and focus on what is important, we can make this work."

"I don't know. Maybe."

He smiled. "What do you need to be convinced?" He moved closer and bent down to kiss her.

Barbara pushed him away. "Not that. We need time... without each other."

"I don't," he said more bitterly than he had intended.

"I do."

He balled his hand into a fist. His fingernails dug into the soft flesh of his palms as he tried to stay calm. "Work with Nkata for the rest of the week, then see how you feel."

She nodded. "Yes, Sir. Good idea."

To avoid grabbing her and trying to kiss sense into her, Tommy sat down at his desk. "He's going to interview Campbell's mother in Birmingham. Go with him and see what you can learn."

"Thanks."

He waved his hand dismissively and switched on his computer. "Least I can do."

Barbara paused still looking at the ground before turning and unlocking the door. He waited for the door to close. He glanced up. She was looking at him the way she had last night. "I'm sorry, Tommy." She pulled the door behind her. He slammed his fist onto the desk.

The drive to Birmingham seemed eternal. Winston had already bored Barbara with stories of his latest girlfriend and how wonderful she was, how much in love they were, and how compatible they were in bed. It was the last thing she needed to hear. She grunted appropriately and hoped he would take the hint. It went completely over his head and he continued to rave about things in which she had zero interest.

"What's with you and Lynley?" he asked, seemingly out of the blue.

Barbara closed her eyes. "Nothing."

"Really? Did you two get drunk without me last night?"

Barbara glared at him. "Why would say that, Winston?"

He recoiled. "Sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. You both looked thoroughly miserable, so I assumed you had bad hangovers."

"No. Did you ever stop to think that we lost a colleague yesterday? If it was you on Stuart's mortuary table, would you want me to rabbit on about my love life like nothing happened?"

"No, I'm sorry."

"So you should be."

Neither of them spoke for the next five minutes.

"So you and Lynley had some sort of fight?"

"Grr! No. Yes. We... it doesn't matter." Barbara turned away and looked out of the car window.

"I think that whatever it is, it does matter, to both of you. How come you two understand each other so well about everything else except your relationship?"

"We don't have a relationship."

Winston mumbled a reply.

"No good muttering to yourself, Winston. Just say it."

"I said, maybe you should."

"Just drive, Constable. And don't talk until we get to Birmingham."

Barbara pulled the hood of her jacket over her head and hid. It was the only way she could stop from screaming or bursting into a fit of hysterical tears.