Kiba's POV

I wake up with a start when I feel Naruto grab at me, but I don't think he realizes he surprised me because he's just staring at me with a dopey look on his face.

"Did I fall asleep again?" I ask, wiping drool off the corner of my mouth.

Naruto nods and I groan. I have to start getting more sleep.

I gather my shit together and we leave the classroom as the rest of the students are piling out. I have another class right now, but Naruto doesn't have any more until tonight. I guess it doesn't matter when his classes are because he lives on campus. I don't, though, so mine are always back to back.

Sometimes I wish I could live on campus. It would be easier, but I can't.

"So, you're sure everything is cool with your family?" Naruto pries again, walking me to my next class.

"Yeah, for fuck's sake, man," I say, getting irked.

"Touchy much," he mutters.

"Well, if I say something is fine, then it's fucking fine," I reiterate.

"Asshole," he says to me and soon enough we're standing in front of the door to my next class. "See yah," he mumbles, waving me off.

"Bye," I say back to him as I enter my classroom.

Since it's the start of the term I haven't really met anyone in this course yet, but that's fine, I don't mind sitting by myself. The class is microbiology, which I have to take because I'm on the pre-veterinary track. I took regular biology last semester so I could get into this one, and it takes up a lot of my time because it's fucking hard and requires a lab class with it. Frankly, I don't have energy to talk with my classmates on top of paying attention and taking good notes in a course like this.

I feel a little out of my depth pursing a science, especially in a competitive field like veterinary science. I'm not a particularly gifted student and have to work really hard to get good grades. Fortunately, I'm pretty passionate about animals.

I take my seat. I'll have to try not to fall asleep again. I probably need to take a nap when I get home. At least I only have one more course after this.

I open my notebook and prepare to take notes once the lecture starts.

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When the school day is done, I find my car in the parking lot and drive home. I take the scenic route and by the time I get home, the house is empty. I'm glad for it. When I step inside, Kuromaru starts to bark. Kuromaru is my mother's dog. He's a big, black mutt who has been around for most of my life.

"Hey, it's just me," I say and he settles down. I pet his head and then slip out of my sneakers, moving up to my room. I close the door and kick off my jeans and sweater in favour of something comfier. With that, I kill the light and climb into bed. When I feel myself begin to nod off, scratching sounds start coming from the door. With a bit of a groan, I roll out of bed and open the door, letting Kuromaru in. He jumps onto my bed and lies down at the foot of it. I guess he wants to keep me company. Maybe he senses that I'm not feeling too great lately.

I lie back down and close my eyes, trying not to think about anything at all, but I find it hard to blank my mind. Maybe that's why I like to drink so much.

I feel horrible that Naruto had to put his plans on hold to take care of me Saturday night. I feel even worse that he drove me home at six in the morning and I couldn't even invite him in for coffee. I wish he would have just let me take myself home but I guess I understand why he didn't.

My parents were fucking livid. I played it down to Naruto because it's fucking embarrassing. They knew I was drunk, of course, and that pissed them off even more, of course. My parents are really against me drinking, which is annoying because everyone else my age does it so it's nearly impossible to avoid. They always just tell me that being drunk makes people 'say things they don't mean.'

My mom said that in the future she just wants me to call them to come get me, and my dad agreed. That way I wouldn't have to be gone the whole night.

I suppose that is better than having to put Naruto out. I don't want to do that again. Plus, he gets nosy. He asks too many questions about things I don't feel like talking about. It would be easier if he just took the hint and stopped prying.

I shift around in bed, rubbing my tired eyes and trying to relax but the more these thoughts cross my mind, the more awake I feel. I know I need sleep, though. Fuck, I just want my mind to quiet down. Just for a fucking hour or two. I want to be asleep when my parents come home so they don't try to ride my ass.

It's frustrating.

Fuck, I hate it. The more I think about how much I hate it, the shittier I feel. A lump starts forming in my throat, but I'm quick to swallow it and sigh.

I pull the covers up and over my face. Kuromaru lets out a yip as he's displaced and repositions himself quickly.

I've thought about taking drugs for it before—for the sleeping issue—the ways some kids at school do. They all get it the same way: they talk to a therapist or family practitioner who refers them to a psychiatrist.

My parents would literally never let me see a therapist. They think everything can be cured with a good diet and regular exercise. It's seriously the only reason I play soccer.

I know the school offers free counselling sessions, but I'm not even sure how I would go about signing up, let alone how I would make time for it.

I wouldn't want people to know about it. I think that would just make things a hell of a lot worse. People would get nosy. They'd ask me why I'm seeing a doctor. Then my parents would get mad. They'd tell me I'm wasting my time and money. They'd tell me to try all these stupid natural remedies that I've already tried. They think they know what's best for me. They've always been that way. They tell me how to live my life and I always listen. That's why they were pissed off about the weekend. It didn't go according to their plan for me. I'm not supposed to get trashed and crash at my friend's house. I'm supposed to behave.

I rub my forehead. God, I'm giving myself a fucking headache.

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When I wake up, the digital clock on my nightstand reads 9:02PM. "Shit," I say aloud. I slept a lot longer than I thought. I don't even remember feeling tired enough to fall asleep, but I guess I did.

Kuromaru is no longer in my room, which means somebody must have come home and let him out. I'm surprised they didn't try to wake me up.

I debate between getting up to find some dinner and hiding out in my room all night doing homework and pretending to be asleep. The second option sounds more appealing but I'm fucking starving.

Finally, I push myself out of bed and slip on a pair of sweats. Maybe I'll be able to get in and out of the kitchen unnoticed.

I open my door quietly and shuffle down the hall, but once I reach the living room I see that my mom is sitting at the dining table going through the mail.

"Welcome to the land of the living!" she chimes at me. "Did you have a nice nap?"

"Yeah," I say. "I was tired."

"I could tell," she responds, "but you better be careful, if you continue to sleep at weird hours then you'll mess up your sleep schedule."

"It's already messed up," I point out.

"Then set a stricter schedule for yourself," she says simply, like it's the easiest task in the fuckin' world.

I don't bother arguing with that. There's not really a point to arguing with her. I've learned that many times in the past, so I've stopped trying. Mom always wins.

I rummage through the fridge and my Mom decides to cut in again with, "You should have a piece of fruit or some toast. You don't need to be putting any crap into your body – especially not this late at night."

I grumble some noncommittal response, but I listen to her nonetheless. I take an apple and bite into it. It's far from satisfying, but I guess it will do.

I make a quick getaway to my room and finish the apple almost as soon as I get there, tossing the leftover core into my rubbish bin. I'm a little surprised my mom didn't insist I take a full meal, but I guess she probably thinks I don't deserve something larger since I slept through the dinner she made.

Sitting down at my desk, I pull a few heavy textbooks out of my bag. I should probably review the assigned reading for microbiology if I want to be able to keep up with the class. I'm hoping that if I start strong that I'll be able to propel myself through the semester.

Not even a minute later, my dad opens my bedroom door. God, I wish he would knock.

"Hey," he says somewhat sternly, "I just wanted to check in on you."

"I'm doing my homework." I grumble back, swivelling around in my desk chair.

"Right, good," he nods. "How are you feeling in light of this weekend?"

I feel fine, but I give him the answer he wants.

"Run down. You and mom were right."

"See?" he immediately starts. "You need to be careful about what you put in your body. You should avoid drinking."

Naturally this is where the conversation goes.

"Everyone drinks, Dad," I point out… and it's true. I'm a college student, for fuck's sake. Everyone at college drinks. Everyone parties. Everyone acts like an idiot sometimes. It's not the end of the world.

"Well, if your friends jumped off a bridge, would you follow them?"

I want to roll my eyes and say that that's completely different, but I refrain. "No." I pause and then add, "I had ONE slip up. It won't happen again."

"I would hope not. Learn from your mistakes, son."

"I do," I insist and my voice wavers slightly. It makes me want to scoff at myself for getting blatantly emotional.

God, I want him to leave. I don't want him to reprimand me anymore. I've had enough of it. I know I fucked up. I don't need my parents to keep reminding me of it.

My dad continues to stand in the doorway and stare at me awkwardly, so finally I just turn my back to him and say coldly, "I really need to study."

"Keep up the hard work," he says in monotone before I hear him turn and walk down the hall.

He didn't bother to close the door behind himself—despite the fact that I made it pretty obvious that I wanted to be left alone—so I walk across the room and shut it for him. I would lock it too if it weren't for the fact that we have literally no locks in this fucking house, not even on the bathroom. It makes me want to pull my god damn hair out.

Two seconds after I get back to my desk, my dad is back.

"You should leave your door open," he tells me with authority.

That's literally the last thing I want to do right now, but I don't feel like starting a fight so I just nod and say, "Sorry, I thought it would help me focus."

"Watch the attitude, Kiba," he says almost like an afterthought. "You're going down a slippery slope lately. We don't want you to start acting like that hooligan friend of yours – Naruto."

"Naruto is a good person," I respond, because it's true. He IS a good person. He's probably the best person I know. He's a way better person than I could ever be… but I can tell my dad doesn't even take what I say into consideration. He has his beliefs and nothing I can say about anything will ever sway what he thinks.

"You should try to meet new people," he tells me, almost like he's offering some sage advice that will be good for me. "Branch out."

"I have a lot of friends," I say. "Naruto just happens to be my best friend."

I know they hate him. They hate him because he's loud and opinionated and isn't afraid to argue with anyone. He is the complete opposite of what they want me to surround myself with.

"Well," he pauses for a moment, "You shouldn't have best friends. It makes others feel unequal and jealous. It's better to spread your time out equally among people."

Ugh. I really don't have time for this.

"Yes, Dad," I try to say as nicely as possible, but I know it comes out bitter, "But it really can't be helped. I just get along with him better."

"Make an effort to get along with other people too." He raises an eyebrow at me. "I'll let you get back to your homework now, but leave your door open. It's rude to close it when other people are home."

Fucking finally. I would rather punch myself in the fucking face than have this conversation keep going. 'Make an effort to get along with other people too.' Jesus Christ. What the fuck does he think I'm doing right now?

"Okay, I will," I say pleasantly, picking up my textbook and waving it at him as confirmation.

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I manage to study for a couple solid hours. My parents go to bed at 11PM and try to tell me I should head to bed, but I decide to keep studying. I'm not quite tired yet. Soon enough, the clock reads 2:57AM, so I force myself to head back to bed. I have a hard time getting to sleep and an even harder time in the morning when it's time to get out of bed. I let out a quiet groan, curling my fingers in my sheets and bringing them under my chin. My eyes will barely stay open. I wish I could skip just ONE day, but I know that would never fly with my parents. They'd lose their minds if I started skipping.

When I manage to force myself out of bed, it's 6:47AM. I jump in the shower, hoping that will help me to wake up.

I feel pretty out of it – like my head gets all fucky sometimes.

I take a really long shower. I always take long showers when I'm tired. Soon, my parents start knocking at the door, telling me to hurry him.

I step out, wrapping myself in a towel and opening the door. My mom is standing there with crossed arms. "You're going to be late. I'll drive you to school today."

"Fine," I say.

"You need a haircut," Mom adds, putting a hand on my head. "It looks a little too shaggy."

"Yeah," is all I respond with, but I have no intention of cutting it any time soon. I head back into my room and get dressed. I throw on sweatpants and a sweatshirt. I don't feel particularly well today.

I fit my books into my backpack and head to the kitchen, where my mom is looking impatient holding her car keys and a lunch she packed for me. Even though the homemade lunches are another one of her 'healthy body, healthy mind' gimmicks, this isn't one I really mind. The school food is nasty and meal plans are as expensive as fuck.

"I'm ready," I tell her.

"About time," she says back. "You'd better hope the traffic isn't bad this morning."

When we get to the car I double check that I have everything I need for the day and then we head out. I'm honestly surprised she doesn't try to make me ride in the fucking backseat.

"Naruto says it's really convenient to live on campus," I say sort of offhandedly, "All he has to do is roll out of bed and he's basically at class already."

My mom gives me an irritated look out of the corner of her eye, "Well, yes, it's fine if that works for Naruto, but it's important that you've been up awhile so you can be alert for your courses."

"I just mean… it seems easier," I try again. "There's less travelling. All you have to do is walk to class."

She lets out a sigh and I can tell she's getting annoyed with me. "Please don't tell me this is something you are considering, Kiba. It's expensive to live on campus. It's important for you to be at home."

I decide to drop it for the time being. Naruto keeps mentioning that I should room with him next year, but I don't know. My parents would never let me, even if I wanted to. Right now, I don't know what I want. I don't know if it'd be better to be in a dorm. I'm always so wishy-washy. Maybe that's why my parents decide everything for me. Then again, maybe I'm wishy-washy BECAUSE they decide everything for me.

I stare out the window, watching the town pass by. Soon enough, we're parked in front of the campus. I mumble a, "Bye," and when I'm about to get out, my mom grabs my arm.

"I'll pick you up after class," she says. "What time are you finished?"

"3:15," I reply.

She nods and lets me go.

When I get to my morning class I fish around in my lunch to look for something I can eat now. I didn't get to eat breakfast yet and on top of the literal singular piece of fruit I had for dinner last night, I'm starving. There's a granola bar, thank god, but it's one of the "all-natural" ones since I guess the regular kind have too much sugar.

The course I have right now is animal science, which always flies by because it's super interesting. All we do is look at photos of domestic animals and learn things about their behaviors and bodies. The reason why it has to be so damn early is because frequently we take field trips out to farms and stuff—they want students to be able to make it back to their other classes on time.

I finish up around ten and head to the coffee cart that's on campus. I always meet Naruto here when we have the Tuesday/Thursday schedule.

When I spot him, he is dressed similarly – sweatpants and a sweatshirt. He has two cups of coffee and when I'm close enough he hands one to me.

"How goes it?" he asks.

"I'm fucking tired," I say.

"Join the club," he snorts. "Hopefully coffee will help."

He starts chattering about some assignment he's working on. He still doesn't know what he wants to do, but I guess it's normal. Most first years don't know what they want to do or they change their mind. I'm lucky I know what I want to do. I always knew. It never really changed.

"Well, hopefully I'll pass," he finishes with a shrug. "Honestly, regardless of what I study it probably won't matter… I doubt I'll use my degree."

"A degree always looks good on a resume," I say. "You have a better chance at a position if you have a degree."

I feel like I'm quoting something my mom probably said to me.

Of course it's true with veterinary science. It's impossible to get the job without at least seven years of education post-high school. I guess I could be a vet tech if things fell through, but that's not really what I'm aiming for.

Naruto gives me a blank look. He probably thinks I'm talking out of my ass. It's probably because I am. I have no fucking idea if his degree will help him. My degree might not even help me.

It's definitely a little disheartening that getting a job is so fucking hard.

Even so, I feel like Naruto is better off than me. He's so self-sufficient and it makes me jealous. I wish I could be so sure of myself the way he is.

I don't know if it's because he lost his parents at a young age or if it's because his aunt and uncle gave him a lot of freedom. It could be a mix of both, I suppose.

"You okay?" he asks me.

"Yeah," I say. "Fine."

He nods his head and I can tell he wants to say more when he opens his mouth again, but then he stops and presses his lips together.

"What is it?" I pry.

"You don't talk about much," he points out. "Everything I know about you is shit I just happened to learn by chance. None of it is stuff you've actually told me. You keep everything to yourself."

The never-fucking-ending story.

I shrug. "So? I have nothing important to say. If I did, then maybe I'd talk, but I don't… so it doesn't matter."

"C'mon, I doubt that's true," he reasons.

"You're just nosy," I retort.

He rolls his eyes. "Whatever, man. Move in with me next year. You're more fun than Sai is."

"Maybe." I click my tongue against the back of my teeth. "I'm not sure my parents would allow it."

"Come on," Naruto insists. "It'll be fun and so inexpensive. The university has subsidized student houses to rent and it's cheap when you have more than one person."

It probably would be fun. Actually, I would really like that.

"I'll talk to them more about it," I relent. "If I tell them some of the positive impacts of it they might be willing to see my side of it."

"About time," Naruto jokes, but I don't think it's funny.

I seriously can't even imagine having my own rental house—what it would be like to be able to go into my room and be left the fuck alone or eat dinner at one in the morning. It sounds a hell of a lot more appealing than where I'm at now.

Sometimes my parents are so suffocating. It takes all of my self-control not to start freaking the fuck out at them. I can't start doing that. If I did, I know things would only get worse. Way worse.

"It will be fun," Naruto says with a sense of finality.

"Yeah, it probably would be," I agree. "It'd be a nice change of scenery."

"Yeah, your parents are strict as fuck," he continues. "I can't imagine that. My aunt and uncle were so chilled out. I mean, they were good parents, but they gave us a lot of freedom to make our own mistakes and then learn from them, y'know?"

"Yeah," I murmur.

I don't really know what that would be like. My parents are too busy making sure I DON'T make any mistakes…. like getting smashed at college parties. That can't ever happen again. Seriously, it can't. I don't know what made me lose control.

"Guess it can be why you're so secretive," Naruto muses aloud. He always says what's on his mind and never uses filters. It makes me want to roll my eyes.

I know that he thinks that if he pressures me enough then I'm going to like, spill the details of my life to him or something, but the truth is I'm just not like that. I won't talk about it because I don't need to talk about it—don't want to talk about it.

There are two types of people. Naruto shares all of his little problems with everybody. He says complaining helps him deal with the stress better, but complaining about my own issues always just makes me hyper focus on them and then I can't seem to let them go. It just becomes even more frustrating when I can't do jack shit about it. Things work out better for me when I just keep my frustrations bottled up and deal with them on my own.

Everyone deals with shit differently and this is how I'm going to deal with my shit, whether or not Naruto thinks it's healthy.

I'm so sick of people thinking they know what's best for me.

"Sorry, man," Naruto adds quickly, probably sensing my irritation.

I shrug it off. "It's fine, don't worry about it."

.

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Come Friday, I am careful not to overdo it. I've been sipping slowly on a beer, which is something that never happens. Usually I am quick to get drunk, but not tonight. I need my parents to see that it's not going to happen again. Then maybe they will stop bringing it up and just let it go.

"You're not drinking much tonight," Naruto points out, coming up to me.

"Well, I had it rough last weekend," I say vaguely. "I need to take it easy tonight."

"Fair," he responds with a nod. "The last thing you probably want is a repeat of that."

Ugh he has no fucking idea.

I look around the room and can tell that people are slowly getting really fucked up. We're at one of the frat parties tonight—which frankly aren't very hard to get into if you plays sports and know somebody—and they made a cooler worth of jungle juice.

It's not a surprise that everyone is already so trashed considering none of them have any idea how much they're drinking. Even the people who made it probably don't know. Maybe that's why most of the frat members have beers in hand. It's kind of fucked up.

Still, I can't help but feel a little jealous. Everyone seems to be having a fun time.

I don't know if I should even stick around. Being here is just making me want to drink. I feel kind of left out. I can tell Naruto is already a bit drunk. I don't know where he's been for the first part of the night, though. He does some hard core shit, but he always seems to know what his limits are. I used to think I knew my limits, but I slipped up.

"I'm going to go home, I think," I say.

"Already?" Naruto asks, surprised. "It's not even nine yet."

I shrug lazily. "I'm just not in a partying mood tonight."

"I'd offer to drive you home, but…" he trails off.

"It's cool, I'll take the bus," I say.

"You sure?" Naruto asks. "I can dip out for a while with you and we can just bum in my room or something if that might be more fun?"

"Nah," I dismiss the offer. "I'll catch you later."

He holds up a hand and I decide to head out to catch the bus.