July 24, 2014
Open your eyes Emma! Alex's eight year old voice echoed in her ringing ears. Her whole body seemed to be radiating pain. "Ma'am, can you open your eyes for me?" A brusque voice repeated. She opened her eyes and a light trailed past one eye then the other.
"You've been in a car accident, can you tell me your name?"
"Emma … Emma Woodhouse," she responded, but her head was throbbing too much to add her trademark wink. "Where's Alex?" she asked, disoriented.
"There were no other passengers in the car, but the hospital will call your emergency contacts when we get there." The brusque voice responded. Emma nodded, but that sent a wave of pain through her head and she nodded off again.
Just breathe, Emma, you're ok, Alex's voice wafted through her mind again. She opened her eyes, but everything was blurry. She refocused and saw her father sitting beside her, talking to her "You'll be ok Emma my dear, I don't know about these ER doctors, but I've called Dr. Perry and he will take care of you."
"Daddy?" she said softly.
"Oh Emma! We've been so worried about you! They say you've got a concussion and you broke your leg – they say you'll need surgery! When you didn't wake up I feared for the worst." Her father said as he took her hand.
"Now Mr. Woodhouse, she's only been asleep for a couple of hours and the doctor said that was to be expected with this type of injury," Annie said as she walked up to the bed. "Though I am glad to see you awake, welcome back.
Emma looked around the room but didn't see anyone else. "Where's Alex?" she asked weakly.
"I called and left a message, I'm sure he'll be here soon. Izzy and John are driving down tomorrow once they figure out childcare, and Ryan, Frank, and Maddy are in the waiting room, they'll only let two of us in to visit at a time." At the mention of Maddy and Frank, the events of last night and earlier today came rushing back to Emma: the Boxx opening, her and Frank making fun of Maddy's jams, and Alex's disappointment and anger. He'd stormed out of her office and she hadn't seen him for the rest of the day. She'd called him several times but had only gotten voicemail. The last thing she remembered was jumping in her car to drive to his place and make him listen to her.
"You've got to find Alex, we had a fight. He stormed out. Annie, Alex is gone and it's all my fault." She choked out before dissolving into tears.
"I'll keep trying, you just need to focus on calming down and resting, ok?" Annie said with a small waiver to her voice. Emma nodded, but closed her eyes and wept softly into her pillow.
It had been nearly a full day since the accident and Alex still hadn't shown up. For every disaster of her life big or small, he'd been there for her. He'd sat and played with her at her mother's funeral when she had no idea what was happening, put bandaids on her skinned knees, threatened to beat up boys who broke her heart. He didn't always agree with her or go along with her plans, but he was always there. Her mind kept replaying that time when they were kids and Alex pulled her out of the water. It was one of her earliest memories and it somehow summed up their entire friendship. You're ok, I've got you. She shook her head to clear the memory and refocused on Frank. "What was that?"
"Ok! Guess what I've got for you, Emma Woodhouse. Since you'll be stuck in the hospital for a bit I brought you a custom Frank Churchill survival kit," he said with his usual energy, displaying a gift basket. "One teddy bear, some fashion magazines, a sudoku book, dark chocolate biscotti, and a white chocolate latte with almond milk."
Emma tried to smile, and ended up with something closer to a watery grimace. "Thank you Frank, but I'm having surgery this afternoon, I can't eat or drink anything."
He put his hand to his chest dramatically, "no coffee! That is a tragedy."
Tears sprung to Emma's eyes. Her world was upside down, her head was throbbing, her leg was immobilized, everything hurt, nobody could get a hold of Alex, and Frank Churchill of all people was talking about tragedy. "Thank you for trying to cheer me up Frank, but I'd really like to be alone right now." Frank's expression sobered in sympathy and he nodded, squeezed her hand, and exited the room, leaving Emma to her grief.
After a few minutes Maddy Bates walked into her room. "Was that Frank Churchill I saw walking out of here with a long face?"
"Yeah, I asked him to leave," Emma said as she wiped the tears from her eyes. "Oh, Maddy! I'm so sorry about the Boxx opening. What Frank and I said about you was awful! When I think of what I said and who I said it in front of!"
"Emma Woodhouse, I've known you since you were finger painting in diapers, you don't need to make a speech to me."
"But I was awful to you and to Jane."
"Yes, but I know deep down you've got a good heart."
"Thank you Maddy," Emma said and began to tear up again
"Oh honey, you'll bounce back. You always do."
"I just don't know if I can do this."
"What? The surgery? Mama had her hip done last year and she did fine. You're young and healthy, you'll be fine, Sugarpuff."
"But Alex ..."
"Oh honey, he'll be back soon."
"I'm not so sure about that."
"Hell be back. You can't keep a good man down. As Mama always says, good men are like vegetables, they always turn up." She laughed at her own joke and added, "get it, 'turnip'?" Emma laughed and felt some of the tension leave the room. At least Alex would be happy that she'd apologized to Maddy, if he ever did turn up.
I may not always be there to save you. Alex's eight year old voice seemed to torment her as they prepped her for surgery. She felt like she was under water again and just waiting for Alex to come and pull her out. For the first time in her life he wasn't here for her when she needed him. She had pushed too far and now he was gone. She'd never realized how much her own happiness relied on Alex Knightly until he was gone. She'd taken it for granted that he'd always be there and now that he wasn't she was at sea.
Even when she'd had boyfriends in the past, Alex's opinion was always more important to her. He'd always been one of the most important people in her life and she'd taken it for granted that she was one of the most important people in his. What would she do if he was gone forever? What if he went off and started another business of his own where he didn't have to deal with the whims of his headstrong partner? Was this only the first of many crises and life events that they would miss together? She tried to picture his life without her, his future success, a wife and kids, everything ordered and boring, but honestly she couldn't even imagine him with anyone ever, or at least anyone other than ... Oh God! Anyone other than her. She was in love with Alex … and she didn't realize it until she'd finally manged to push him far enough to leave her.
"Emma!" she heard the deep masculine voice just as they were starting to roll her out of her room. Her heart soared for a moment until he came into sight and she saw that it was John Knightly, followed closely by her sister.
"Emma, we got here as soon as we could." Izzy said.
"Izzy! I'm so glad to see you!" Izzy leaned over and gave her a quick hug. "Izzy Alex is gone and it's all my fault. I've ruined everything, and he's not here, and I don't know if I can do it alone!"
"Luckily you're not alone. Don't worry, we'll find Alex," Izzy said in her soothing mom voice, "you just get better. We'll all be here when you get out of surgery."