Disclaimer: I do not own Dork Diaries.
Let's get on with this!
Chapter 1- Tree
The LAST thing I want to do was go on a long, cold car ride with my family to go find a Christmas tree. Can't a girl just have time to herself to like… WRITE IN HER DIARY?!
BUT NOOO!
Mom says that this would be a great opportunity for family sharing time. And I was like, "Mom can't we just buy a fake tree like normal people do?"
"No," Mom said "That wouldn't be good family sharing time."
I groaned.
"Plus, your father just bought a new chain saw and this is the perfect opportunity to try it"
Ugh. Yeah, the chain saw he got for FIFTY CENTS! No doubt that something will go wrong. It's gonna be the canoe catastrophe all over again. Only I don't think we could get saved by a coast guard this time.
Look, I love my family and all but sometimes they can be COMPLETE NUT JOBS!
And right now I'm sitting here, writing in my diary as my dad is playing one of his Michael Jackson CDs on the stereo and my sister is singing that Dora the explorer theme song.
Well, I was right. WHEN dad pulled out his chain saw he cut the tree and it fell in the wrong direction AKA the direction of the car. And we were like, DEEP in the snow covered forest so NO CELL SIGNAL! Well, MAYBE there was cell signal because I was texting Chloe and Zoey. But my Dad didn't know that his cellphone plan was cancelled. And we were standing there panicking for like, FOREVER until mom finally noticed I was using my cellphone and we called the police. And through all that Brianna was sitting in the snow, making a tiny miniature snowman.
DON'T ASK ME WHAT GOES ON IN THAT GIRL'S HEAD!
All I know is that it's just another regular day with my family. !
I just wish it was dad's UGLY ROACH VAN that got crushed instead of mom's car.
On the bright side, Mom will get a free new car for Christmas from the insurance company thanks to dad's incompetence! !