I was so pleased with the response I got for the first chapter :)!

Thank you to ALL who reviewed and everybody who just read what I've written so far, and another shout out to all those who added me to story alerts and favourites, whilst you didn't actively voice your opinions I'm glad you liked it enough to want to read some more :D!

I don't own Glee or any thing else really, just my imagination, my laptop and my tailless cat.

If I did own glee though, I wouldn't be to bothered about , because I'd have Jgroff in a cage in my room to sing to me on demand!

*shakes head and stops fantasizing about gay men I can never have *

Read, enjoy and review!

Sacrifices

After my altercation with Shelby, (that is what it was, she did threaten me!), I threw myself into knowing everything about Rachel Berry.

To an outsider looking in I might have looked like the perfect attentive boyfriend simply wanting to know everything about the girl of his dreams but I knew this was reconnaissance and nothing more.

The sooner this was over with the better.

This is what I told myself repeatedly, and maybe the egotistical side of myself agreed with this statement. But the part of my brain that dealt with rational thought seemed to be rendered useless where Rachel was concerned. She didn't even have to ask me questions to know about me. She asked questions, my upbringing, family, school, usual boyfriend girlfriend information. But sometimes after something as stupid as an argument about whether or not I believed Gerard Butler was a good phantom of the opera or not ( I did like him, his voice suited the role along with the emotion he packed, I just hated the way her pupils dilated seeing him in that shitty skirt in 300) she would look at me .

Really look and even though I am a sucker for a cliché the whole 'eyes are the portal to your soul' seemed like total bull until Rachel would look at me that way.

I had never felt as vulnerable in all my 18 years. And being in a business as cut-throat as showbiz, that's really fucking saying something.

She really just understood me and it freaked me out because the mysterious wall I had built around came tumbling down around us both, leaving me to be examined at her own pace.

I loved the feeling that I had someone who just clicked into place with me as much as I hated that someone had the power to render me in such a state in the first place.

It wasn't a month later after that god damn wiggles concert. I never could say no to her, I still keep that gaudy bear she won me, its embarrassing but she looked so pleased with herself that she had won something for me that I didn't have it in me to say that yellow care-bears were not really my thing. I was quite contentedly making out with my girlfriend when I opened my eyes to see a picture on her bedside table in a photo frame with the words 'Worlds best Dads' on it in a childish version of the writing Rachel had today with a picture of a young Rachel beaming at the camera snuggled in between to men. And that was when the guilt came back.

I asked her if she wanted to have sex, my reasoning not totally because of my hormonal teenage body. Rachel always made me forget the guilt, and the pain that I knew was to come, maybe if I could take the pain away for a little while, give her a true taste of the heaven she showed me then maybe I wasn't such a complete douche-bag.

It wasn't completely self-gratification nor was it a completely selfless motive either.

But hey, I am a teenage boy.

When she said she wasn't ready, and that she couldn't betray her team I wasn't angry with her nor was my frustration aimed at was all on me for saying that I'd agree to this arrangement in the first place because whilst I wasn't betraying my 'official' team it still felt like it. I walked out because if I didn't I knew I'd slip up and tell her everything. And then beg her to forgive me.

I finally understood what was meant by love brings pain. But when I was walking down the stairs of Rachel's house to my car and looked at a few pictures of her on the way down, I decided that maybe this masochistic tendency was worth all the pain she brought with her.

That was my excuse for indulging her with her 'secret love affair' that must be kept from her glee club. I could see she truly was conflicted. As usual I tried to kiss her worries away. When I heard a noise and opened my eyes to see Shelby looking at me I was kind of creeped out. I tried to tell her with my eyes to fuck off and stop watching my kiss her daughter. She seemed satisfied though, so I filed that information away for later, and then all thought process ceased when Rachel did that thing with her tongue that sometimes made me forget my name.

I wanted to thank whoever taught her to kiss like that, before I buried them in the garden for touching her in the first place.

It was a few days later that I convinced Shelby that transferring to McKinley High was a necessary sacrifice to help her get her daughter back. I might not have been able to lie to Rachel, and her mother might have been a person I found difficult to lie to also I soon came to the conclusion that when it came to getting what I wanted where Rachel was concerned. I had no qualms in the slightest about spewing lies. It was after I drove home with my transcripts that I realized I was in deeper than I had first thought. My parents hadn't minded to much with my change of schools, I think the slight paternal instinct that lay somewhere in there bodies was kind of grateful that my uncle Seth was willing to take me in.

So there I was living in a new house, in a district away from my friends and all the things I held dear to myself that I thought about whether or not any woman was truly worth this kind of dedication. I had given up everything to be with her, and yet it seemed that I was the only one making sacrifices. She had been unhappy with her glee clubs reaction and so she had willingly faked a public break up. I was annoyed, Jesse St. James wasn't exactly what you call a dirty little secret. Any girl in Carmel would sell their soul to be called his woman.

It was when he had turned up at glee rehearsal with Mr. Shue and rolled his eyes at their accusations because seriously. (The tall one staring at his girl friend and sulking in the corner simultaneously was just trying to piss him off.) And Vocal Adrenaline had never needed to steal information before, and with his as the lead (Was he still lead, shit. He'd worry about that later) they didn't need to start stealing information any time soon.

But then she looked at him with eyes filled with curiosity and caution and asked "What are you doing here Jesse?", that he remembered that just being around her made all the decisions and sacrifices and confusion ok. When she smiled at him like that, like all her Hanukahs had come at once he could honestly say he didn't give a shit about anything else.

Except maybe making getting her to make out with him in school later.

The weekly assignments thing was kind of cute if you where into wasting times before one of the biggest competitions a show choir can face. He didn't mind Madonna, he respected her as a musician and for all that she musician, and she was hot if you where into the whole MILF thing. Like that Puck boy was. Thank god he didn't have a swimming pool at his house. He didn't like the way he looked at Rachel when she wore one of her pleated skirts, if he saw Puckerman staring at his mother in the same fashion he might be put in the grave early and not after he took Puck down with him.

I can fully understand why Rachel is the way she is after being here at McKinley for a few days. The first day when I was walking her towards her advanced English class when some dude came up and threw a slushie over her, I had been most surprised. Nearly as surprised as the jerk who did it whenever I punched him in the face.

How could people be so cruel to other students?

She really has few friends here, and people just don't like her for some unknown reason. I've heard people whisper about how obnoxious and overbearing she is, do they not realize that this is the defence mechanism they created when they alienated her for being different from them? Fucking sheep clones. Every one of them in this god damn school, except for the glee club.

Maybe that's why unlike things in Carmel High where Vocal Adrenaline had been respected, this New Directions glee club was mocked on a daily basis.

Whatever, they hadn't heard his girlfriend sing. They where getting out of this cow town.

The whole Madonna thing got slightly more interesting for me whenever Rachel told me she's ready to have sex. I never wanted to push her into thinking she had to have sex and I was willing to take things at a pace she was comfortable with. I had sang 'Like a Virgin' with her, something I'll always remember before she bolted and locked herself in her en suite.

It took me ten minutes to get her out of that stupid bathroom.

"Do you want to talk about it? Or sing about it?" I had snorted out still finding her nervous habits amusing and slightly unlocked the bathroom door and pounced on me. For someone so small she could jump with the best of them.

I can still feel the heat of her blazing cheeks as she burrowed her face into my neck apologising profusely for still not being ready and being a crappy girlfriend. I had went back to recline on her bed with Rachel still attached when I explained that it was these qualities of hers that made him care for her and she had nothing to worry about.

When she was ready, she'd be ready.

I didn't feel half as lonely as I first had when I moved in with my uncle whenever we enjoyed quiet times like these. Her dads had no problem with me staying in the guest room of the house. They never did realise Rachel could be extremely quiet whenever she silently climbed into the bed beside me to let me kiss her goodnight thoroughly before turning around to let me draw her into my warmth. It was a good thing she always got up at 6 in the morning whenever her dads only got up at 7. And it was another good thing that I had always been a light sleeper so if they ever came to check in on the open guest room Rachel was burrowed under a mountain of blankets safe from her fathers' eyes.