A/N: Hey guys! Thank you to my two reviewers. You're reviews mean the world to me and I am glad you left me a lil' note. :D You guys make me smile! Oh, and thanks to anyone who also put this story on story-alert! Also, thanks to my beta, Shasta53 over at twilighted(dot)net. All of you are great! Here's chapter 2!

Disclaimer: None of this you recognize is mine. I own nothing.

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Simple Plan, Welcome to My Life

Chapter Two: Hope

Jasper POV

"I'm heading out to recruit more newborns," Maria said and I nodded stiffly. "The next war is going to be a tough one so we need the strongest vampires. Kill the newborns reaching nine months or more. They're too weak now. And, Jasper-" I gulped as her voice lowered into a deep snarl. "if there are any reports of you letting some . . . what did you call it? Ah, sí, slip. If as much as half of a newborn slips away from your grasp again, your punishment will be terrible. Am I clear?"

I shuddered and subconsciously rubbed my left arm and torso, remembering my punishment for letting Peter and Charlotte run away. That was quite a while ago, but Maria hadn't trusted me since. This was the first time in a while I had been in charge of the newborn vampires. I guess I was moving up in the ranks again.

"Pay attention, Jasper," Maria hissed. "Am I clear?"

"Yes, ma'am," I said. Maria ran her hands up my body and snaked her fingers into my hair, pulling me toward her and forcing me to kiss her. It was my only choice to kiss her back, for I had learned to give into whatever she wanted the hard way. When she was done, Maria ran off and I felt disgusted with myself. She didn't love me-or even like me for that matter-and I knew it. All she wanted me was for my body and my battle skills. There were three other gentlemen that were also used like me and they had convinced themselves that she actually liked them. I sighed and walked over to where we kept the newborns. Fear emanated off of them as I approached.

"You shall all do as I say or you shall be severely punished," I growled to the newborns. "All vampires over nine months, follow me for fight training. Anyone younger, feel free to grab a snack with John, William, or Thomas. Do not go alone. I will know if you do."

The newborns trembled and they lined up for "fight training". I marched them up a hill, far away from the other vampires and spun around to face them, eyeing each one skeptically. Who would be my first victim?

"You," I snapped out, pointing to a red haired girl who trembled. "Congratulations, you're first."

Her breathing grew rapid and all of the other vampires started to realize what was going on. Oh great. My jaw clenched as I growled to all five of them.

"No one leaves alive," I growled. "Or you will have to face the wrath of Maria."

That's when they turned on me, all of them jumping and leaping onto my body. They sunk their teeth into me and tried to pin me, but I had more experience than them. I grabbed the red head's jaw and snapped it off, causing the other vampires to cry out in shock. I took advantage of their momentary distraction and kicked a few off of me, while ripping some arms off the others. The newborns all attacked me once again before I jumped out of their grasps. They growled and snarled as they pursued me before I wheeled around and took the heads off of three of them. This wasn't a challenge whatsoever; just a simple fighting exercise. I took the legs off a few others before continuing disembodying them. They should've known none of them would be a match for Major Jasper Whitlock.

I quickly grabbed all the pieces and set fire to them, feeling triumphant and guilty as I stared into the fire. Pain crashed through me as I reflected on the nightmare I had been living for far too long to count. I had to go through on my plan tonight, when Maria returned. I had to kill her, to stop this madness. These newborns were just a warm up for what I had coming at me tonight and I shuddered to think about the long battle. I heard a rustle in a bush behind me. I wheeled around, startled, and crouched down. I sent out a warning growl before Peter walked out of the bushes with his hands raised in front of him.

"I mean no harm," he said and I immediately relaxed.

"Peter?" I questioned before growling. "Peter!" I tried to get my arms around him to kill him before he stepped out of the way and pinned my hands behind my back. I tried to break free of his grasp, but he was stronger than me.

"Good grief, Jasper," Peter said from behind me, causing my head to turn backwards and glare at him sideways. "This is the welcome I get?"

"You caused me to have the worst punishment possible because you left," I growled and lunged toward him, but Peter was ready for that. He sidestepped me, still keeping his grip firm.

"Look, I'm sorry about that, but I couldn't let you kill Char," Peter said and I growled at his use of a nickname for someone who had caused me terrible pain. "Don't you know what it's like to not want someone to die ever? To love someone?"

"No," I growled. "Love is for humans, not vampires."

"Jasper," Peter said, frowning. "In the north, it's possible. Vampires get along up there and there are no fights over feeding territory."

"You're bluffing," I said, ignoring the fact I felt honesty emanating from Peter.

"No, I'm not," he said. "Charlotte and I were shocked, too, but it's a life of luxury. So peaceful . . ." Peter trailed off, his eyes staring off into the distance before I cleared my throat. He shook out of it. "We had been running around, always feeding and moving in peace. It was only a few days ago that Charlotte mentioned you and we both agreed to come get you. Charlotte's a little more north because she doesn't want to mix in with these vampires."

"Really?" I still couldn't understand. Peace between vampires? When pigs fly! Something told me that Peter was telling the truth and I wasn't just imagining it. Maybe that's what would save me from this depression. I had to go with him.

"Do you want to come with us?" Peter asked and I nodded before thinking anything of it. I had to leave-I was already hoping to kill Maria anyway and this would just be a better, safer way to go about things. "Let us go." Peter said, letting my hands fall to my sides and running off north. I followed him, easily keeping pace.

We didn't talk much while we ran, both of us engulfed in our thoughts. I kept on thinking of what would happen if Maria found me when she got to me. There were thousands of options and probably all of them combined would be a small scratch compared to the punishment Maria would give me. She'd probably give me some sort of slow and painful death. I shuddered and tried to think of other things, such as running away from my nightmarish life towards a new one. A happier life. Hopefully.

Peter slowed to a stop and we were in front of a red haired woman. I recognized her instantly: Charlotte. She gave me a small smile before running up to Peter and giving him a kiss. The love between them was shocking, for I had never felt anything like it before. I closed my eyes, trying to focus. Vampires weren't supposed to be in love. No, the only emotion vampires should have is hate towards each other. I sighed and opened my eyes, staring back at Peter and Charlotte who had their arms around each other.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I just . . . don't understand."

"Don't understand what, Jasper?" Charlotte asked, her voice like bells. She seemed really nice, but was afraid of me because I had tried to kill her.

"Everything," I muttered before sitting down. Normally, when I was with Maria's army, things would distract me from my depression, but not here. There was too much freedom and strange changes happening. My mind couldn't take it. Charlotte smiled sympathetically at me.

"Everything will change, Jasper," she said. "Don't worry about it. This new life is a great life. You'll be much happier here." I sure hope she was right on that.

Ten years later . . .

I couldn't even describe what I was feeling right now. It was like living through death. And not just a peaceful death, but one full of pain and torment. Pain, terror, torment, horror, and the incredibly scary feeling of death-nothing-wracked through my body, causing me to wonder. I was only killing a human, was that something wrong? People killed animals to eat and they weren't this tortured. Why was I being punished? I set the body down before disposing of it and heading back to Peter and Charlotte. We had grown closer over the years, but I could tell I wasn't wanted here. I put them in such bad moods whenever I was around that they tried to avoid me.

"Hey," I said glumly when I reached my friends. They stared at me with sympathy as I sighed and sat on a nearby log in the forest, burying my face in my hands. The emotions I had obtained from killing people were still bouncing around in my body. I laid down, hoping they would stop. I wanted to kill myself for this. I had done so many wrong things in my life that I did deserve whatever curse had been set upon me. Maybe, if I asked, Peter and Charlotte would kill me. I easily got my way.

"Jasper," Peter started and sat down near me. "I have a theory I'd like to tell you."

"Be my guest," I said, my voice sounding dead even to me.

"Well, I've noticed your depression gets much worse after you've hunted," Peter drawled. Hunting . . . I trembled at the memories of killing people. They had terrible deaths and I felt each and every one of them.

"I think you have a gift," Peter said and I scoffed. There was no way this . . . thing was a gift. "A gift that has something to do with pain or feeling things others are feeling.

"Really?" I asked. That seemed to fit me very well, though it wasn't just pain I felt. I told Peter so.

"Hmm . . ." Peter mused, going into deep thought. Then he snapped his fingers. "You can feel and change emotions of others, or something on that line. I always feel some of your pain when you're done huntin'. I figured that was just me being a good friend. Guess I was wrong."

So he felt my pain? That sentence killed anything that was left living inside of me, which wasn't much. I really wasn't worthy of my friends and what Peter had just said was a confirmation of my assumption.

I said, "I can't stay with you two anymore. I have to go on my own."

"You don't have to do that for us-" Peter started but I held up one of my hands, standing up.

"I now know how I affect you. It will be easier this way," I said. "Maybe I'll feel better if I'm alone." I knew that was untrue, but he wouldn't let me go if I told him that.

"If you must," Peter sighed.

"Jasper, you should know that we'll always be here for you if you need us," Charlotte said. "You're not intruding if you want to come and travel with us again."

"Thank you, Charlotte," I nodded to Peter and left, wishing I'd find a better life or a way to kill myself.

Twenty-eight years later . . .

Today was the day I'd go into town to try to get stronger and forget my thirst. I had to do this if I was never going to hunt people again. It's been nearly thirty years since I had left Peter and Charlotte and, as I had predicted, my depression didn't go away. It got worse. I sighed and walked into the town of Philadelphia. My eyes were dark enough that no one would notice them so I didn't have to conceal them with sunglasses.

I held my breath and clenched my fists.

Come on, Whitlock, I told myself. You have to earn it. Don't kill anyone and you'll soon be able to not have to kill a human again. Ha, like that would happen.

A drop landed on my head and I realized it was starting to rain. Great, wet humans smelled even more scrumptious than dry ones. The rain continued to fall harder and harder and people rushed past me to get into shelter. I sighed as I realized I'd have to go inside somewhere if I wanted to stay inconspicuous. I looked around and decided the diner was the emptiest building and I stepped inside, holding my breath again. I started to dry my clothes off before I stiffened. There was a vampire here.

She hopped down from the stool, smiling and walked up to me. She was absolutely beautiful, even more beautiful than our kind. I tensed as she approached; worried that she was going to attack me. This was the north, would she attack me? I didn't know.

"You've kept me waiting a long time," she said, in a voice more musical and soothing than wind chimes. I ducked my head, realizing I had disappointed this young woman even though I had never met her in my life until today.

"I'm sorry, ma'am," I said, wasting my oxygen supply. She held out her hand and I took it, shocked that I would do that. I didn't like touch much. But something had made me want to touch her, something about her emotions that made me feel strange towards her. What was this alien feeling I had never felt? I wracked my brain before realizing what it was. Hope.

A/N: Some of you may know that I broke my pinky, so updates might be slower than I want them to be. I also sprained my back spiking a volleyball, so now I'm in a giant back brace as well. Leaving a review will make me feel better!

~Eclipse-Vamp :)