The Sliver of Light in the Dark
Chapter 2
Disclaimer: I do not own anything Twilight related. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer.
Summary: What if Bella didn't survive Reneesme's birth? What would Edward do? Would he kill himself and leave Renesme without both her parents?
EPOV
Bella was sitting on my lap on the white couch in the living room. Everything was at peace and we were just watching the news. Bella was thinking of something because soon she was glowing and had a giant smile on her face. I was curious as to what would make her smile like that.
"What are you thinking about?" I asked her.
"I'm just excited about becoming a mother." She replied happily.
Seeing that the cup of blood had really helped her and that we were going to be able to safely deliver the baby then there was no reason to get upset.
"Now that you mentioned that, I guess I'm excited about becoming a father." I told her honestly.
I leaned down and gave her a small but passionate kiss. The taste of her lips lingered on mine and I tightend my grip on her, but she probably didn't notice. She leaned her head back on my neck and faced the tv again still smiling.
Bella began to stand up and called Rose, probably needing to use the bathroom again. Rose flew down the stairs and was next to Bella's side in a matter of 2 seconds. She turned to put on her flip flops when she accidently knocked down the cup of blood that was resting on the armchair. Rose and I both reached the cup before Bella could but that didn't stop her from reaching over. I heard something rip and immediatly looked over to Bella. She let out an agonzied scream and began to fall. I caught her just before she reached the ground. Rose was looking at Bella trying to figure out what happened. Bella was beginning to slip into uncousinness.
The realization hit her eyes.
"The placenta must have deatched." Rose quickly said.
"Get Carlisle on the phone quickly" I insrtucted her. She just nodded.
I picked Bella up in my arms and rushed her upstairs. The baby was going to die and so would Bella if I didn't do something quick. I laid her on the bed we had set up in Carlisle's office. I was beginning to get the tools out when she called my name.
"Edward." Her voice was so weak.
I rushed to her side and grabbed her hand with one of mine and pushed her hair out of her eyes with the other one.
"I'm here, Bella." I told her.
"We need to get the baby out quickly" She told me sternly.
I just nodded.
"I'm going to give you morphine so you don't feel anything." I told her. She nodded and I flew accross the room, grabbing the needle. She saw it and wrinkled her nose.
I inserted the needle into her arm and then put it back on the counter. I rushed back and grabbed her hand again. I tried to force a smile so she wouldn't worry about the baby, but I was sure she could see through me.
"Ok, I've got Carlilse on the phone, but I might have to begin the procedure. Are you ok with that? I asked her.
"Yes, just get our baby out safely." She replied.
I nodded again and I rushed to get the scapel. I hope the morphine has begun it's affect. I lifted her shirt and inserted the scapel in her skin. Her blood began to ooze out with just the small insecion. I hadn't hunted since we were on the island and I feared that the smell of her blood would make me loose control, but I guess my worry for her was more that the smell didn't even bother me. I continued to cut her skin. With every centimeter, the more blood oozed from her body.
I continued to cut knowing that the faster I got this done the safer Bella and our baby would be. Soon I noticed the panting coming from somewhere. I looked up and saw Bella with her eyes closed, grasping the chair's armrest (her knuckles turning white from all the pressure) and the panting coming from her lips.
Damn! The morphine hasn't worked at all! I thought. I ran to her side.
"Rose what did Carlisle say?" I said just above a whisper, but I knew she heard me.
Rose came to my side before replying.
"He's on his way, but he's still a half hour away."She informed me.
I nodded and looked at Bella again. She continued to pant.
"Everything is going to be fine Bella." I reassured her. "Is the morphine working at all?"
She nodded.
"I'm...fine...it's...working." She said in between pants.
I knew Bella's history of downplaying her pain for me. I wasn't going to let that happen this time.
"Bella stop trying to spare my feelings. I need to know what you are truley feeling." I told her with the type of tone that would leave no room for argument.
"Just...bothering...me...alittle...I...don't...know...why...I'm...gasping."She told me.
I nodded, not 100% sure if she was telling the truth, but that was the best that she would ever tell me.
"Get the...baby...out" She whispered.
I hesitated a little, but soon the smell of her blood alerted me that she was loosing to much blood and I was just standing there.
I had cut the part neccisary but now I needed to get through the vampire skin that blocked the fetus. I was a little worried about having my lips to close to her blood, that maybe it would make me loose control. Without thinking I just decided to go for it, it was the only thing I could do. I leaned down and used my teeth to cut through the skin.
That must have caused her some pain because she held her breath.
Just do it quickly because it will save her from more pain. I thought.
Getting through the vampire skin took a little more effort than I thought. It was like trying to cut through a frozen steak with the sharpest knife you have.
I got through the skin and reached inside for the baby, my hands getting covered in Bella's blood. I pulled out the baby and it began to cry. I quickly noticed it was a girl and I was filled with joy.
She was so beautiful behind the blood. She had Bella's chocolate brown eyes, my bronze hair covering her think curls. She smiled at me, showing her growing white teeth that complimented her rosey pink cheeks.
I looked up to see Bella's expression and found her to be looking at me.
"Renesmee" I told her.
Bella's face lit up and she was wearing a huge smile. A tear ran down her face. I walked to Bella already knowing the answer to my next question.
"Wanna hold her?" I asked.
She nodded and more tears ran down her face. I handed Renesmee to her and Bella still smiled. The next thing I saw warmed up my dead heart. Bella,my love, my life, my everything was holding the only proof of our love in her arms. Renesmee smiled at her mommy and I smiled along with her.
"I love you Renesmee, more than you know." Bella cooed, then leaned down and kissed Renesmee's pink cheek.
She looked at me, I was still smiling and trying to hold back the dry tears that were building up inside of me. Bella was so happy.
I've never been happier to be wrong about the outakes of any situation. I thought to myself.
"I love you too." She said to me.
"As I love you and Renesmee." I smiled the crooked smile that I knew she loved.
I leaned down and kissed Bella with as much passion as I could without hurting her. Bella wasn't holding back any of her love, which just made it more difficult to stop the kiss. But I unwillingly pulled away from her. She looked down at our daughter again.
Our daughter. I thought. Bella and I had made a family and we would be happy together.
But then Renesmee bit Bella. I quickly reached down and pulled Renesmee away from Bella. I called Rose, who again was by my side in a flash. I gave her Renesmee and she took her downstairs. Bella was panting again and her heartbeat was slowing down. I ran back to the counter and grabbed the syringe with my venom in it.
I turned back to Bella an saw all the blood escaping her body. The lower part of the bed she was on was covered in Bella's blood and it was beginning to drip onto the floor. This realization made me move faster. I was next to Bella in a flash and I plunged my venom into her heart. She closed her eyes, sinking into uncousnines.
Her heartbeat was gradullay slowing down with every beat, it worried me.
The next sound threw me over the edge.
Bella breathed her last breath.
I put my hands over her chest and began to do CPR on her.
One, two , three. Breathe! One, two, three Breathe! I thought over and over again.
"Please don't leave me Bella. Think of Charlie, think of Renee, think of Resemee, think of me." I begged her.
I opened her lips and blew air into her lungs, then I moved my hands to her chest again.
"Rose, call Carlisle!" I screamed.
"Carlilse, something went wrong. Where are you?" I heard Rose call Carlisle downstairs.
"I'm only 5 minutes away. What happened?" Carlilse asked back through the phone.
"I'm not sure. All I know is that Edward was able to get Renesmee out, but Bella was loosing a lot of blood and her heart stopped." Rose said quickly.
"Was Edward able to get the venom in her before it stopped?" Carlisle asked.
"Yes." I told Rose from upstairs.
I moved to Bella's mouth again and I blew in more air. I moved back to her chest.
"I'm almost to the river." I heard Carlisle say.
I heard the wind outside change coming towards the house. Carlisle was here, that gave me a piece of mind. I moved back to Bella's mouth again.
"What happened?" I heard Carlisle say behind me.
"The placenta deatched and so I rushed her here. I knew that the baby would die so I asked her if she wanted me to start the procedure and she said that was fine. So, I did and I was able to get the baby out. Oh yeah, it's a girl. Anyway, Bella was loosing a lot of blood and was going in and out of counciousness so I pludged the venom into her heart but it was getting weaker and weaker and now it stopped. She isn't breathing either." I gave him the fastest summary I could.
He just nodded and walked over to us. He quickly examed Bella then ran over the the counter where he kept the tools. He brought the defibrillator (A/N: The machine that shocks the heart and brings it to beat again.) to the bed's side. While he put it to charge, he moved over to Bella and moved her shirt out of the way, making the necissary preparations. He turned back to the defibrillator and grabbed the paddles, quickly rubbing them together, then turned to face Bella again and placed it on her chest. Bella's body shot up with the shock, but her heart did not restart.
I was beginning to go crazy. Dry sobs began to build up in my chest and were trying to escape through my lips.
No! She's not gone. I forced myself to think.
Carlisle put the paddles on Bella's chest again. Again it shot up, but her heart didn't react.
C'mon Bella! This is the last time I can do this or else it won't work. Please, think of your family. Carlisle thought.
He must have been caught up in the moment that he forgot I could read his mind. I'm sure he didn't want to say that this was the last time he could shock her outloud.
Carlisle rubbed the paddles together again, placed them on Bella's chest and for the third and final time, Bella's body shot up and her heart didn't beat.
"I'm sorry Edward." Was all that Carlisle said, probably trying to inform the rest of the family as well.
"No, this can't be it." I denied. "No Carlisle, you've got to keep going. Do it again!"
"It won't help Edward." He responded.
I grabbed Bella's hand, it was cold. With my right hand, I stroked her deathly pale face.
"Bella, please come back to me. What about Charlie, Carlisle, Emmett, Alice, Jasper, Rose, Renee, Esme, Renesmee? You need to come back to them too." I dry sobbed.
I waited 5 mintues, but nothing happened.
I broke down there. I buried my face and dry sobbed into her neck.
NO! NO! NO! I thought over and over. No, you can't leave me. You promsed to keep your heart beating!
I was... there are no words for what I was feeling.
How was I suppose to feel? The reason for happiness, meaning, hope, faith, everything in my life was gone, and it was all my fault.
I saw every bit of wrong I did to her bring her to death. When I saw her in Biology class two years ago. When I fell in love with her and she fell in love with me. When we decited to be together. When I overreacted in the baseball field and James almost killed her. When I killed James, enraving his mate causing her to chase down Bella. When I left her and caused her to meet with the Volturi. When I agreed to have sex with her and got her pregnant.
I know what it was like without her. I only lived those six months because I believed that it was the best thing for her and I knew that she was alive. How can I this time? I saw her death, no, I caused her death.
I dried sobbed more and more into her now cold neck.
I wasn't going to live without her again. Jacob had promised and now it was time for him to deliever.
"You can't do that Edward." Alice was by my side before I could lift my head of Bella's dead neck.
"You need to think of Renesmee!" She yelled at me.
"Alice, what did he decide?" Carlisle asked.
"He..doesn't want to...continue." Alice informed everyone.
What about Renesmee? Did you think about that? Rosalie's thought were the loudest, but everyone was thinking pratically the same thing.
"Son, I know that this is hard for you. It's hard for all of us too, but you can't decide things out of anger." Carlisle was now hunched over me, resting one hand on my shoulder, looking into my golden eyes.
"I...don't know what to do...without her." My voice broke on without.
"I know that this is very difficult. I can't even imagine what you must be feeling, but you can't think about yourself Edward." Carlisle instructed me.
I stood up, still holding onto Bella's cold hand.
"Can...I have a moment alone...please?" My voice broke again.
Carlisle nodded and he and Alice ran downstairs. Since everyone heard me, they all left, respecting my wish.
"Bella. What am I going to do? I don't want to be here if you aren't. These 5 mintues have been worse then the six months we spent away from eachother. What am I going to do with Rensemee? She looks so much like you, and she brings back so many memories. Oh God! Will I even be able to even be near her?"
I spoke to Bella like she as still here, hoping for a response even though I knew she never would respond again.
I stroked her face for the last time.
"I don't know what to do without you." I breathed.
I leaned and kissed her forehead also for the last time. I pulled her body up and pressed it against mine for a good 5 mintues before letting her go.
"I love you." I told her.
I reached for my phone in my pocket and dialed Alice's number.
" You guys can come back." Was all I said.
I was staring at Bella´s haggard and dead body.
A hand was placed on my shoudler and I looked back to see that it was Alice. Everyone was in the room now.
I was so selfish that I forgot what everyone else must also be going through. Carlilse and Esme lost a daughter. Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie lost a sister. Alice not only lost her sister but her best friend. Renesmee lost her mother. Charlie lost his daughter, too.
How was I going to tell Charlie? Could I tell him?
I guess Alice must have seen my confusion in a way of telling Charlie because she said, " I'll let Charlie know."
I turned around and hugged her. She wraped her arms around me and gave me a tight squeaze.
When I turned back a thought hit me.
Flashes of Bella's face popped in my head.
I turned to Rosalie, who still held Renesmee.
I didn't need to say anythign to Rose or Rensemee. I held my arms out and Rosalie held Resnesmee out to me. Renesme reached out and grabbed onto my arms.
I pulled Renesmee into a tight hug being careful to not squeaze her too tight. She was so small, bearly a day old but she understood so much. I wasn't sure what to tell her. Somehow she understood because she hid her face into my chest and I felt her tears stain my shirt.
I clutched her closer.
Everyone was staring at the floor with a blank stare, their mind also blank.
I closed my eyes and held Renesmee. She was the only part of Bella I had left and there was nothing I wouldn't do for the both of them.
Part of my me hated Renesmee. This part blamed her for the cause of Bella's death. But a bigger part of me hushed that part and blamed himself. It wasn't Renesmee's fault that Bella got pregnant. If wasn't her fault that she was half vampire thus stronger then her own mother. It wasn't her who had let Bella loose too much blood and not inject her with venom fast enough.
I slightly tightened my grip on her . She tightened her small fingers around my shirt, still crying.
Just then the phone rang. The high shrill demanded to break the silence and for someone to answer.
Esme flew downstairs.
"Hello." She said with a pinch of happiness to decieve whoever was calling.
"Hello Esme, it's Charlie." The phone reciever said.
I tensed a little. Renesmee poked her head from my shirt. Her big brown eyes were filled with tears. I couldn't look into her eyes just yet. They reminded me too much of Bella so I looked up.
"Charlie, this isn't a good time right now." Esme said flawlessly.
"What do you mean? Where's Bella?" Charlie said beginning to panic.
"Bella's..sleeping. We all had a hard night. She's not getting any better." Esme said. Her hesitation was only look enough for my family and I to hear it but Charlie wouldn't notice.
If only Charlie knew that she would never wake from her slumber.
"What do you mean?" Charlie repeated.
"We're not sure yet. Carlisle is running test. All we know is that she got a fever of 103 degrees." Esme said cooly.
"Let me know if anything happens." Charlie said after a mintue of silence.
"First thing. Bye" Was all that Esme said.
Renesmee snuggled her head back into my shirt.
What were we going to tell Charlie?