2:

Meet the family!

(Oga)

"This is insane!" I screamed, glaring at the blonde woman sitting on the couch, who was busy glancing half-heartedly at the magazines and catalogs before her. "No, I won't do it, I don't care if we need someplace else to stay, a man like me can't go around casting his dignity aside like that!"

"How can you cast aside something you never had?" she asked, barely glancing my way before looking at the brat next to her. "The master wishes for you to carry him."

The kid was looking my way, stretching his arms towards me. I stayed where I was, afraid he would tackle me to the floor (He might be small, but damn does he have strength!).

I growled, finally snatching him into my arms and attempting to rock him. 'You're so lucky I'm kinda afraid of you…' I mentally told him. "Anyways, back to what I was saying, I'll find a way to get by, but I won't stoop that low."

Hilda scoffed, "Please, you're acting like a child. What's so bad about-?"

"It's a pride thing, Ok?!"

Whatever threat that woman was going to throw at me was stopped by a low, grumbling sound.

"Ai…" the kid began to rub his stomach.

"Great," I sighed, scratching his green hair, "You're hungry aren't you?"

"Well, don't just stand there," she demanded crossly, "fetch him some milk."

'B-Bitch!' "We ran out," I lied, trying my best to keep calm, "I'll have to feed something else." I was too busy thinking of ways to get her back that I didn't see Red Eyes in front of me.

"Yeah, about that," he said sheepishly, taking a seat next to Hilda, "we're all out."

I stared at him in disbelief, "That stash is supposed to last all month! You mean to tell me you ate all that food in the three days you've been here?!"

"What else was there to eat?"

"You could've said something!"

"You were asleep, besides, would you rather have Beel throw a fit and destroy this place?"

"You idiot…Raejin, how dare you feed the master this garbage?!" the maid demanded, looking ready to murder us any second now.

"Oi, what was I supposed to do then, let him starve? Besides, it's not that bad, and Beel seems to like it a little."

"Da!" the Demon King cried, proving his point.

"See?"

We all turned, hearing a loud, exaggerated yawn behind us. Furuichi lazily slouched towards the refrigerator, not even surprised that three demons were lounging around in his living room. Don't get me wrong, I'm still in shock myself believe it or not, but right now, I had bigger issues to worry about.

When he opened the fridge, all I could do was stare at its emptiness. These guys weren't kidding, everything was gone, right down to the condiments.

The idiot turned to us, mouth wide open in shock, "H-how?!" he pointed towards the empty fridge, "Where did all our food go?" I gestured towards our "guests", who shot me looks of confusion and hate.

"Oi, Furuichi, doesn't it kinda bother you that three residents from hell are in your house right now?" I asked him scratching the back of my head.

"Actually," Red Eyes pointed out, "you do realize he was the one who dragged your fried self back here while you were out cold, right? I mean, I was too busy trying to pry little Beel off you."

"And I wouldn't dare dirty my hands touching you, even unconscious." Hilda finished, glaring at me coldly.

I turned towards Red Eyes, "Is she always like this?" I asked him seriously, causing Hilda to glare at me like she wanted to strike me; and she probably would have too, had her "master" not been in my arms.

He shrugged, "Meh, you get used to it after a while." he admitted, "Honestly, she's not as bad as you make her out to be."

"Man, how long have you two known each other?" I asked, "It must take an eternity…."

"Uh, hello….." Furuichi cleared his throat angrily, "I'M STILL HERE!"

"We know!" the three of us shouted back in union, causing the idiot to back away in fear.

I suddenly felt the demon baby quickly climb to my back, which he then proceeded to pound like a mad man. "Grr…MAH, MAH!"

"Ow! Quit it already! Stop!"

"Yup, he's definitely hungry." Red Eyes observed, "If we don't find him some food soon, the kid'll bring the place down."

Hilda sighed, clearly frustrated, "Listen to me gutter-trash," She warned in a threatening tone, yanking me towards her so that our faces were extremely close, "if you don't swallow your pride right now, the master will become upset, and if the tantrum doesn't end you, I promise you I'll finish the job."

Suddenly, the wound on my cheek began to burn, as if it had been reopened somehow. I turned my neck slightly, only to see that the Demon King was nearly in tears. Part of me wanted to stand firm, but yet, another feared for my life. It was only when I began to see small sparks that I reached into my pocket to pull out my cell phone.

'I can't believe I'm about to do this….'

With each number dialed, a small part of me died on the inside. I swore I'd never call them for anything, but apparently, my life was at stake here. I stared at the now completed phone number for the longest time.

"Well, what are you waiting for, idiot? The master is growing impatient."

"I'm going damn it, I'm going!" I growled, taking a deep breath as I pressed the call button. After a few seconds of silence and a million failed prayers, I heard the line being picked up. I must've not said anything, because a very loud, very familiar voice caused me to pay attention again.

I sighed, knowing that the image I've worked so hard built was now ruined. "Misaki….are mom and dad home? We need to talk. Now."

….

We stood outside my house for the longest time, the two demons behind me, and their king (Whom finally quieted down once I mentioned there would be food) in the maid's arms.

"Ok," I muttered, shaking my head, "You two stay quiet and leave the talking to me." I glared at the green haired baby and stepped closer to him, "That goes double for you, got it?"

"They can't honestly be that bad." I heard Red Eyes reply, I shook my head. If he only knew, well, I guess he's about to find out.

"You're right," I told him sighing, "They're worse. They will literally overreact and make a mountain out of a molehill. The last thing I need right now is for them to assume something stupid."

"You're exaggerating." The woman rolled her eyes, motherly rocking the Demon King in her arms.

"…You'll see." I muttered, knocking three times on the wooden door before crossing my arms. Before my brain even registered that the door had opened, I was knocked down to the floor.

"Wha-What the hell just-?!" My head was slammed down to the ground, creating a small crater in the earth. Wincing, I saw that the demons, including Hilda, were actually surprised.

"Tatsumi you bastard!" I heard the fiend scream, burying my head deeper into the ground, "you have some nerve, showing your face here after we kicked your sorry ass out! Now what the hell do you want?!"

"Misaki….." I managed to breath, "G-get the hell off! I can explain!"

She did so, but not before twisting my arm until it went numb from pain. "This better be good." She muttered, walking away.

"Why'd it have to be Misaki that answered?" I groaned, picking myself off the dirt. I limped inside with the demons following close behind, stopping myself from yelping with every step.

"Nice place ya got here. Way move lively then that other place." I heard Red Eyes whistle, closing the front door. "What'd you do to make them kick you out?"

"What didn't I do is more like it." I muttered, suddenly losing my balance. I barely caught the edge of the couch, the only thing saving me from landing face first on the polished wooden floor. 'Damn, I was sure that by now I'd be used to Misaki's beatings!'

"Tatsumi," with effort, I turned my neck to see both my sister and parents, all gathered around the kitchen table and glaring at me.

"Uh….Heya….." I mumbled, straightening myself, this seriously played out better in my head. "So….how's it going? What's it been, two months?"

"More like six you dumbass." My sister spat, shaking her head, "now cut the crap Tatsumi, why are you here?"

"Hey," I protested, biting back all the insults I was about to throw at her, "can't a guy be nice for once and visit his family to at least say hi?" Misaki lowered her eyes, my parents were gullible, but my sister sure as hell wasn't. Besides, even they found it hard to believe that their delinquent son came back after half a year just to chit-chat.

Damn it, I should've thought of this ahead of time! Maybe trying to think of an excuse on the spot wasn't one of my brightest ideas. "Shit….I'm fucked!'

"Well…ya see, um….." I stuttered, my confidence dying right then and there. I almost considered coming clean. 'You see, I kinda adopted the future demon king, and due to his two lackeys being reckless idiots just like me, we have no food and nowhere to live.'

Wow, after hearing that in my head, I just realized how stupid I would sound.

"Raejin," I heard the demon maid sigh behind me, killing my train of thought and making me even more nervous than I already was, "hold on to the master for a minute."

"Sure, I guess."

"Come with me, it seems this idiot didn't think this through."

I don't know how my parents didn't hear her.

'One day woman….' I thought to myself, projecting mental images of my retaliation. A few seconds later, both Hilda and Red Eyes, with Beel on his shoulders, stood next to me. "Oi, I told you, I'd be the one doing the talking!"

"Please, you could barely form a sentence." She glared at me, before turning back towards my parents.

"Tatsumi, who is this woman?" my mother asked me, a hint of anxiety in her voice. Damn, I had to stop this before it's too late!

"She's-she's just a friend!" I cut the demoness off before she could say anything else, earning a murderous glare hidden beneath a layer of fake happiness.

The demon maid smiled, and trust me, it was far scarier than seeing her angry, "Is that any way to introduce me to your wonderful parents, Tatsumi?" she asked with a soft laugh, chilling me to the bone, "As, "Just a friend?""

"Wait, what's going on?" Misaki asked, rubbing her eyes. Before I could answer her, Hilda jabbed my lungs, knocking the breath out of them. Combine that with the painful greeting that my sister gave me, and I was on the ground struggling to breath.

"Oh my! Where are my manners?" I saw that damned Hilda walk closer to my parents, an innocent look on her face. "My name is Hildegarde, but you may call me Hilda."

"Hildegarde," I heard my father mutter, "is that foreign?"

"You'll have to forgive us for that outburst dear," my mother began to apologize, "It's just that, Tatsumi bringing a woman home, and a foreigner at that!" Misaki leaned over to whisper something in her ear, but even at this distance, I could hear my sister was amazed at the size of the demon's assets.

"It's no problem at all, ma'am, I am also a bit rough around the edges, but this child and I are counting on you." Immediately, everyone looked towards the Demon King, who was busy yanking on his relative's hood, attempting to pull it off, much to his displeasure.

"D-don't talk like that woman!" I growled, still holding my aching chest, "you're making it sound worse than it is! Look, I already told you, there's no way in hell I'll be that kid's parent, so could'ya please stop making it sound like-"

I noticed then that Hilda began to blush, "Even after doing up to that…."

'No….No, no she wouldn't dare!'

"Honestly, it was amazing."

'Damn it! Now you've done it!'

"TATSUMI!" My father bellowed in his serious voice, rising from the table, "You truly are a bastard! We let you go, and what do you do, you go off and do unspeakable things to this beauty…..But to go as far as…..AS B-BABY-MAKING?! And worst of all….YOU WON'T ACCEPT RESPONABILITY?!"

No dad!" I bolted up, furiously, knowing that this would be my last chance to fix the damage, "This is all a big misunderstanding!" By this point, I could care less if my ribs, or any of my internal organs, were broken. "I swear, I'd never-"

"Look at this child! There's no denying that it's yours! It's even got your eyes!"

"NO IT DOES NOT! IT LOOKS NOTHING LIKE ME!" I protested, while my sister and mother crowded around Red Eyes and Hilda, fawning over baby Beel.

"Here Hilda," Red Eyes muttered, fixing his hood so that his face was completely concealed again.

"Hilda-san, who is that man?" my sister whispered, staring uneasily at the other demon in the room.

"He's nobody," I answered for her, earning myself a smack to the face by Misaki. "Really sis?!"

"I wasn't asking you, moron."

"Raejin," he answered quietly, "but call me Jin, everyone does."

"Ok then, Jin-san, what are you exactly to Hilda-san?" My mother asked, sounding uncomfortable.

"Nothing really, just a friend. Baby Beel and I are actually related," He said jerking his thumb towards the Demon King, "I'm not even quite sure how, but I'm technically his family."

"It complicated really," Hilda finished for him, "I brought Raejin with me so he and the child could bond. This is actually the first time they've meet."

"I see." Misaki observed, passing the child over to my mother, "So where are you three from?"

"It's not somewhere you'd like to go, in fact, some say it's Hell."

"You look so much like Tatsumi when he was younger, Beel-chan," My mother cooed as she held the Demon King in front of her, much to his embarrassment. "Wow, now I'm suddenly a Grandma…"

'They-they fell for it?' was the only thought that replayed in my mind as I stared open mouthed at the scene before me, I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

Besides me, I could see my father was wearing the exact same expression, the only difference being the tears washing down the side of his face, and that small look of pride in his eye.

Suddenly, I felt a heavy hand dragging me down, knocking me down to the ground again. I will say this, it felt ten times worse than when Misaki did it.

"H-Hi-Hilda-san!" My father stuttered, "Please, allow me to be the first to apologize for my ungrateful son's behavior! I promise you, I'll shape him up if it's the last thing I do! We would be honored to have you and your friend join us for supper!"

"Wow," I hear my mother mutter, "He just preformed a sliding grovel, that's not easy to do."

"You put your head down too!" He told me, brutally slamming my head to the floor.

Yeah, I think I'm going to have to go to the hospital to get my head checked after this…

"No please," the demoness giggled, "the honor is all mine." I looked up, seeing her give a small smirk, "Raejin and I would be delighted to join you." Ok, she was officially enjoying this.

I barely had time to growl out the words, "I hate you, demon" before being slammed back to the floor.

….

"As always, that was an excellent dinner mom." I heard Misaki compliment once we had all finished with our plates. I actually have to admit, I miss my mother's cooking, waaaaay better than anything at Furuichi's place.

"Dabu!" the infant demon cried with a small burp, raising his silver spoon in victory.

"Wow, Beel-chan sure was hungry," my sister commented, "Have you even been feeding him properly Tatsumi?"

"Shudup." I muttered, taking in another mouthful of rice.

The fiend that was my sister started to get up, probably ready to kick my ass again, but one look from mom made her sit down without a word. She shot me a death glare, letting me know not to let my guard down any time soon.

"It's settled then," My father suddenly announced, causing everyone to turn towards him, "Tatsumi, his wife, and child will be living with us."

"Nothing settled!" I snarled, half chocking on the food in my mouth, "and that woman's not my wife!"

"Hello, are you really this stupid?" My sister asked, "She had your child, yeah, she's practically your wife. Be lucky that she chose you over everyone else, idiot. And besides, you need us."

"Oi! What's that supposed to mean?"

"Tatsumi please, you can barely take care of yourself, let alone a woman and child."

"Hey, I'd take good care of them on my own!" I protested.

"Really, is that why you're living off Takachin and his family?"

I stayed silent, glaring at my smirking sister. Beside me, I could hear the Demon King and his asshole relative trying to hold back their laughter. I put my hands on top of my head, seriously, this was going from bad to worse.

…

The three demons and I were crammed inside my room, which was, surprisingly, exactly the way I left it. Everything, from the Manga stacked high in my small desk area, to my gaming systems lying next to my T.V.

"Well this is swell," I sighed sarcastically, letting myself drop on my bed, "I'm officially married, and to top it all off, we have a son that will one day destroy humanity, can't get any better than this!" Speaking of which, I felt the brat clinging to my leg like his life depended on it.

"Man," Red Eyes sighed, "say what you want about your parents, but damn, they can cook!"

"I agree with Raejin," the demoness added, taking a sip of her warm tea, "the dinner was delicious."

"Buncha freeloaders…" I muttered to myself.

"Satirically, you're not that far behind."

"Whatever," I grunted, shoving the Demon King off my leg, "I'm hitting the shower, watch the kid for me." I realized my mistake when I heard the loud thud, followed by a bunch of my crap falling down to the floor. I panicked the minute I saw his eyes water. I was halfway to the hallway when the waterworks came, followed by the pain.

"There, there master," Hilda cooed, massaging the back of his head as I collapsed to the floor, "the idiot's learned his lesson."

Red Eyes chuckled, elbowing his relative lightly as he pointed a finger towards me, "The suffering of morons, is there anything more beautiful? Ah, the floor seems to love you today Oga."

I let out a growl, not responding.

"Lighten up, I was only joking…..mostly. But seriously, how far is your shower from here exactly?"

I slowly brought my head up to face him, "If this is another sick joke, I swear I'll-"

"Oi, I'm just trying to save your life here." He replied, waving his hands in surrender.

I stared at him, confused. Before I could ask how the hell that could save my life at all, the maid cut me off.

"Is it more than 15 meters away from the master?"

"How the hell should I know?" I asked, lifting myself off the ground, "And what's that got to do with anything?"

"If you go more than 15 meters away from him, you'll die."

"…..Bull….Bullshit."

Hilda merely rolled her eye, letting baby Beel crawl around on the floor. "He really likes saying that, doesn't he?" Red Eyes asked, earning a nod from the maid.

"You're kidding me!" I yelled, pointing an accusing finger at her, "Cut the crap already woman!"

"You think I jest," she raised a brow, "go ahead then, see if you get far."

I silently left with a towel in hand, making sure to double check that I wasn't exceeding those damn 15 meters.

…..

THANK GOODNESS! Finally, I was alone, if only for five or ten minutes, but I was alone. No baby Beel, no Hilda, and no annoying parents.

'Now I can be at peace,' I thought to myself, sinking into the warm water. I guess I must've dosed off, because three sharp knocks caused me to turn towards the door. A shadow from the other end caught my attention.

I blinked, 'Is that….who I think it is?' Rising a bit from the tub.

I half expected Hilda (Yes, Hilda. what? I am a guy, and she's supposedly my "wife" now) to walk in here, but instead I got….

"It is I, the Transdimensional demon, Alaindelon."

"Wha-What the hell?!" I asked, praying that somehow, the scaring image of him in a towel would go away somehow. Somewhere outside I could hear Red Eyes laughing his ass off.

"What's wrong Oga, expecting someone else?" he asked in between his laughter, "Hilda-chan maybe?"

"Sh-shut up!" I yelled, my anger snapping me out of my shock, "What do you know?" That only caused the bastard to laugh even harder.

"Admit it, you wanted Hilda to come in there, didn't you?"

"I said shut up! And you!" I turned to the old man, forgetting that my face was red like a tomato, "What the hell are you doing here?!"

"I was simply asked by Hilda-sama to monitor the distance between you and Master Beel. Excuse me," Before I could protest, he got in the tub with me, making the scene totally awkward. "12.9 meters."

'Screw this!' I attempted to get out of the tub.

"14.3 meters!"

'Damn!'

"13.2 meters."

I tried it again. "Ooh, 14.5 meters! 14.6 meters!"

"Fuck! Seriously?!"

…

After what seemed like forever, I finally heard Beel snoring softly. "Hmm…..when he's asleep, he doesn't look like a Demon King at all." I muttered to myself, watching his small chest rise and fall rhythmically. "He look's kinda cute actually."

"He might look innocent now," I heard Hilda's voice behind me, I practically jumped when I noticed she was behind me, "But as he grows older, he will inherit the powers to end this world. And you are the one chosen to get him there."

"So wait…..the fate of the human race…is all on me?"

"Basically."

"Great," I sighed, "so no pressure then." 'Why me…..out of every other unlucky bastard in this world, why'd the brat have to choose me?...wait a minute….'

"Oi, Hilda can I ask you something?"

"Hmm?"

"If I were to, say, raise Beel not to be evil, then he wouldn't destroy the world, and we'd all still be alive, right?"

"That's….not going to-"

"Well, there's that," Red Eyes cut her off, earning a murderous look, "or you can try and pass him off to someone else, but I wouldn't try that if I were you."

"Why not," I asked him, seeing a beacon of hope, "I mean there's plenty of other people out there, so why limit myself to me?"

"It's tougher than it sounds," the demon maid picked up after him with a sigh, "I told you before, we demons are extremely picky on our contracts, that, and the master is a Demon King, he only cares for those with great strength."

"I guess I somewhat fit the bill…" I muttered.

"And in addition to that, barbaric, ruthless, defiant bastards who think nothing of their fellow man are perfect."

Red Eyes smirked, "Heh, that sounds a lot like my folks alright."

"In short, the stronger and brutal the person, the better."

"So really, all I have to do is find someone that can wipe the floor with me, and I'm free?" Both demons nodded their heads. "That's simple!"

"You make it sound like there's a million other people with those qualities." Red Eyes replied, I smirked victoriously at him.

"My friend, where I'm going tomorrow, there are people like that by the dozen."

"By the dozen, eh? And where would that be, exactly?"

My grin grew wider until it hurt my face, "Ishiyama High School."

...

Wow, I'm surprised, people are actually reading this...Before I go, I wanna thank everyone whose faved this/ and or followed this, especially, FRAYNER, WAY2DAWN, and KHANGAROO123 for reviewing. Even if ya just clicked on it and read it, THANKS A BUNCH!

Alright see you guys next update! XD