"Ulquiorra."

The fourth Espada was already alert, standing with arms behind his back.

"Good morning, Aizen-sama. Did you sleep well?"

Aizen thought for a moment. He had watched a horror movie before going to bed, a particularly disturbing one that would cause (most) human psyches enough trauma to have nightmares involving little girls for weeks.

"Yes. Yes I did. Moving on… I believe I've told you of the human concept of 'emo', correct?"

Ulquiorra thought for a moment. "Yes. Yes you have, Aizen-sama."

"Some may find the appearance associated with this 'emo' concept…attractive. I，however, do not. Now do away with those foolish marks on your face, like I've asked you."

If Aizen didn't know better, he might say Ulquiorra was going into a pout. "B…but I've already told you, Aizen-sama, I cannot. These are a permanent part of my face. In addition, you used to tell me you thought they were 'cute'."

"That was then, this is now." He gave his subordinate a cold look.

Tears sprang to Ulquiorra's eyes—oh Lord, thought Aizen, here we go again—and welled up and started to dribble down his cheeks.

And a strange thing started to happen—his face markings ran too. In a moment there were only blotches left.

Aizen raised an eyebrow. "Ulquiorra…. have you been…less than honest with me?"

"I-I…p-please don't—"

"Hush; I will forgive you if you take care of some other matters. Such as your eyes. What a lovely hue they are," he smiled, "…it's a pity that you muddle them up with all that depressing eye makeup. And that pitch-black shade you tint your eyebrows—oh, it's all too much. It makes you look like the walking dead. Ah, excuse me," he realized, "I suppose you are—never mind then."

Ulquiorra's already teary eyes trembled along with his lower lip before he burst into tears and ran from the room, or at least what Aizen could see of it. "You're so hurtfuuuulllll!!!" he wailed, the Doppler effect diminishing the sound as he got further away.

Aizen sat there, eyebrow still arched. He mused over what could have triggered this reaction in Ulquiorra before shrugging nonchalantly and moving on to his next subject.

"Ahh, Jeagerjaques-san. How are you this fine morning?"

"Lea'mme alone," came a slur from the right side of the screen.

"Grimmjow? Are you alright?" Aizen inquired, slightly perturbed.

"Nn…what th'hell, it's so bright in here…" Grimmjow walked in front of the screen, staggering and rubbing his eyes. " 'The fruck happened last night…"

He was greeted by Aizen's stony face, enlarged and right in front of him and not sounding too happy as he began, "Grimmjow…I believe there have been a number of other occasions on which I have told you and your carousing amigos that alcohol does unspeakable things to one's system. Not only does it kill brain cells—making one a poorer stategist and thus a poorer fighter—and lead to liver failure and an untimely death, but it simply does no justice to one's appearance. It would sadden me so to see you, Yammy, Stark, Nnoitra, Dordonii, Luppi—"

"DUNN' MENCHUN THA' NAME 'ROUND HERE, YA HEARR?!?!" came a slurred growl from across the screen, and the next thing Aizen saw was a fist zooming toward said screen and then a tinkle, shatter and a blackout.

…Yes, Grimmjow had just done the impossible: in his hungover haze of retardation, he had managed to break his side of Aizen's holographic display—when it wasn't even made of anything to begin with.

Aizen sat in stunned silence, watching the black fuzz across the screen for a moment. Then he scrawled a couple quick notes across a pad he had conveniently whipped out: Grimm.—per usual, not amazingly reliable and/or responsible. However, God-defying skills definitely getting up there. Considering moving G. up to number 4 and moving Ulqui. elsewhere. (Poss. maid? –-only if loli costume available)

A few mere moments later he was vis-à-vis with Grimmjow once more. He didn't know how he did these things sometimes; perhaps his own sheer divine awesomeness had restored the screens' connection. Grimmjow, of course, was not expecting this, but had calmed down a bit and almost seemed apologetic.

"Uh…sorry 'bout before, Aizen-sama…only wantin' to serve you and all that…" he said, avoiding eye contact.

"Yes, I'm sure that fist was filled with wholehearted desire from you to please me, Grimmjow," replied Aizen patiently, the eerie sarcasm never leaving his voice. "But that's not important. Let's get down to the matter at hand—"

"…the Royal Key?"

"No…"

" …gettin' a promotion?"

"No—"

"Then what?"

"—your outfit."

"Ooh. I'm jumpin' for joy," came Grimmjow's reply full of oh-so-spritely charm. "'Kay, well, get it over with quick."

"You see, Jeagerjaques-san, I was thinking about maybe making a few more cutbacks to your top, and…"

Grimmjow interrupted with a clearing of his throat and looking a bit sheepishly to the side. "That's great 'n all, Aizen-sama, but I think if my jacket got cropped anymore…there prob'ly wouldn't be nothin' left. Well, maybe there'd be some collar left, but…yeah…"

Aizen put a wounded expression on his face. "That's…that's alright, Grimmjow…I see your meaning, and understand completely…Well, suppose I'll be moving on now then…"

"No! Wait!" came a cry as he was switching the screen over. Aizen's lips twitched into a self-satisfactory smile once safely out of view. Oh, what fun these guilt trips could be…

Next time on Hueco Mundo Makeover Day...who will be Aizen's next victim--er, consultee? Will this flamboyant individual be able to handle the affronts to his/her style? Will there be a catfight?? Read and find out...!
(Jeez, this description is starting to sound as cheesy as Jerry Springer...I apologize. Deeply.)

A/N: Sorry if I destroyed anyone's image of anybody. (Bwahaha...weep, Ulquiorra, weep!! J/k.) Oh, and the names Aizen was listing were NOT the people whose appearances he was scared would be affected by drinking. (There's just no way some of them could get any worse... coughYammycough) It's just the peoples who tended to end up drinking together. Of course, when Luppi was there, Grimmjow was nowhere to be found, and vice-versa. Hope you enjoyed so far! (Please R&R)