In a grassy field where cherry blossoms fell like snow a salamander was doing push ups. "987...988...999" at one tousand he lept to his feet and flexed, then fell forward and starded to doing hand stand pushups which were even harder. "i will avenge you, Chumbles. And you too Simon. I will kill the Tenzinbot with my final breath."

The tenzinbot had come while he, the Black Mudpuppy, had been out, at the arcade pwning noobs in a retro Mortal Kombat game. He had come home to the carnage and strewn chihuawa and nerd body parts and felt his rage blossom just like the cherry trees surrounding this field: pink and fluffy and deadly. The punk ass neighbours who had been stealing his mail and letting their dogs bark until 3 in the am had told him it had been a monster cyborg called Tenzinbot. Well then he guessed this tenzinbot would juat have to DIE.

"Hey there," said a voice from behind the Black Mudpuppy. He quickly turned around with a somersalt and looked. It was a man with a goatee and scars along his jaw dressed in blood red crimson and midnight black. "I'm Xerxes" said the newcomer man. "Do you know the way to Getfukked? My friends told me to go there and wait for them"

What kind of crazy sumbitch was this, BMP thought. "What kind of crazy sumbitch are you" he asked? But he knew what kind of crazy sumbitch he was. |'You're the kinda crazy sumbitch who takes everything literally arent you?" "No I am not that kind of crazy whateveryousaid" "Yes you are! Your friends were telling you to fuck off - NOW SO AM I" The salamander bared his fangs which were razor sharp and visible even through his full face mask that he wore to hide his fangs usually but this guy was interrupting his training. He couldn't remember now if he was at 1033 or 1034 and that really pissed him off. "I am really pissed off! My fiends werre killed by this asshole called Tenzinbot and now I need to kill him!"

"Hey that sounds like fun" Xerxes said. "Maybe i WILL join you then".

"That's it" Black Mudpuppy said! "I tried to tell you nicely but now I guess i'll just have to beat the holy shit out of you and let someone else mop you up like yesterdays spilled taco meat"!

BMP launches himself at Xerxes at the speed of light, but Xerxes is even faster and BMP's fist is blocked by a sword. "What where did that come from!" "It's retractable and was hidden in my clothes! My sword gets longer when it's time for action!" "I have nothing clever about that!" "Good because it is very serios!"

Xerxes went on the offensive then and it was everything the Black Mudpuppy could do to keep dodging the blade. "Look out behind you!" BMP said suddenly, pointing over Xerxes' shoulder. "Shyeah right, like I'm gonna fa;ll for that one" Xerxes laughed maniacally!

"I'm telling you, you'd better turn around...!"

"NO!" Xerxes said, angry now, and raised his sword to cut BMP in half. "Stop it that's the oldest trick in the book! Now just stay still and this will all be over in a second!"

The Black Mudpuppy raised his hand and in one last desperate measure shot a stream of acidic goo from his hand. It went right past Xerxes and continued past him. Xerxes laughed again. "You MISSED!"

"DID I?!"

Xerxes frowned and turned around at last. But there was nothing behind him. "Yes, you did missed." And then BMP conked him on the back of the head knocking him out cold.

-end chapter 2-