please review
I think that was the first time I can remember when I wanted to run as far away from her as possible. I didn't want to be see her I didn't want to hear her...I didn't want to be anywhere near her. Looking back on it, it's hard for me to admit even now. They say every thing is 20/20 in hindsight . I suppose that's not entirely true. I still feel the same as I did that night. And, if I had to pin point this is when the resentment started. I mean, I've never seen anyone so ungrateful! So selfish! She said, "Fred I love you." Oh, the bullshit spewing out of that woman's mouth is unprecedented. She knew I wanted to leave. She knew I didn't want to be with her anymore. So, she forces me to stay with her… for the rest of my merciless life. Love is a queer thing.
Okay, I have to admit that I was a little happy on the inside when I found out the news. But, all the excitement seem to melt away when I saw Fred's reaction. You see, I never planned to kill my baby…or…it. But, I was waiting for Fred's outrage at the idea of having such a thing done. I waited…and waited. But, there was nothing. No anger, no disgust, only compliance. When I told him, the next thing I heard was portions of liquid slapping the floor. The most nauseating thing I've ever smelt. When the splashing stopped. He murmured back, "okay." The word okay hung in the air along with the smell of his regurgitation . With that one, two syllable word I felt all the love I had for it die. He looked up at me with his hazel eyes set aflame. "Okay." He said again very lowly. I could detect the distain and the hate. I furrowed my eyebrow. I wasn't going to let this person see me cry. "okay" I whisper pitifully. I didn't know who this person was. But, he was cruel. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. He didn't even try to look away. His eyes were fixed to mine sadistically waiting for the tears to fall. This was not the person I loved. And, not the person that loved me. What had happened? How could I keep track anyhow? Love is such a queer thing.
Now I have to admit that her trust was misplaced when she first got with me. I mean it was so easy to knock all her walls down. It was like one, two, three, four. I guess she thought since I was her friend that I would never hurt her, and that I would always keep her safe. And, the thing is I would have if only she would have stayed my friend. Of course, I never let her know that. I thought she'd be great fun to be with. And, she was. But the first hint I got of it turning into something serious I ran. But, not literally of course. I was with her for a long time…a bloody long time. One day I noticed she was a little bit nicer, a little bit happier. When I'd asked she told me, "Fred, you make me feel real. You just make all the bad things I feel just so.. insignificant." That's when I knew what we had wouldn't last. I never had any intentions of saving her from herself. I didn't love her enough to do that. Maybe one day I would make someone feel that way. But, it's not meant to be her.
I'd was sitting all by myself in front of the great lake when I heard a whistle. I turned around it was my tall, goofy, red headed friend jogging towards me. I turned back around un amused. "Hey.." he gasps out of breath. I roll my eyes. "I'm not in the mood Fred." Really, I'm not the sociable type. "Well what's a pretty lady like you doing with a scowl like that?" I looked away from him. I thought he'd just go away if I ignored him long enough.
But, I wasn't.
He didn't.
He could stand there as long as he wanted too I knew I wasn't going to crack. Not, for this innocent annoying little boy.
She'll break
I held one hand over my eyebrows and with one eye squinted I look up at him. "You ever just feel tired of living?" I asked for some strange reason. And the most disturbing Cheshire grin played on his lips after I asked. It would have scared me had it come from somebody else. But just as soon as it came it left and turned into something more recognizable.
I grinned to myself then at her. Wall one.
"Life my dear, is a beautiful thing you should love it." And with great poise he bent down and held out his hand . I took it.
Laying in bed thaht night i couldnt help myself from thinking about that tall goofy red headed freind of mine. But even more pervasive was that sickeing smile. I've seen it before. I thought to myself.
It was raining one night. And the quidditch field was completely empty save for two people. Fred and george. George had told me that he helps Fred practice because he'd always been the more athletic one. I hid and watched because I knew Fred would be too ashamed to let anyone know George bests him at anything. Fred had on his black turtle neck. It was baggy from the rain. I smile as I see the two darting up in the air. George was good, much better than Fred. But Fred played harder that night then I'd ever seen. He was still no match. And, with such swiftness, George hit the quaffle into the goal. I clapped in excitement but, quickly caught myself remembering i was not supposed to be watching. George howled into the night. "First born, but, second best." He screamed. He turned around on his broom laughing. Fred's face was blank."Come on then, it's almost dinner. That's enough for..." CRACK... Fred had smashed his bat into the back of George's head. I was paralyzed, too scared to move. George started falling. Fred slung his bat over his shoulder with a look of statisfaction. His grin was so deep and so wide, it nearly covered half his face. Realizing what hes done, he shook his self out of the trance and the grin was replaced with a look of worry. He flew down to catch his brother. In morning, when I asked George about the large white patch on his head and the deep violet bruise that extended pass his neck, he told me a quaffle accidentally hit him. He laughed, and so did Fred. But I know what really hit him
I push that night out of my head. I threw it out the window as if to forget it like a bad dream.