Silas of the Rings
Disclaimer: (Points to rich people who can afford socks that cost more than the Authoress's concert trombone.) They own everything. I don't.
A/N: I want to keep Silas somewhat in character for the most part, but he's terrible OOC in this chapter because I really couldn't think of anything else. I am not making fun of Catholics, because I am, in fact, Catholic. I'm just poking fun at Silas's fanaticism.
When Silas regained consciousness, he glanced at his surroundings rapidly. Now he found himself on the balcony of a large building that built into the trees. The albino monk saw that he was sitting in front of a stone table that was situated in the middle of a circle of people sitting in stone chairs. This group was noisily arguing about something in way that made the subject seem to be a matter of life and death.
"We must destroy it!"
"I'll take it!"
"Sauron will never find it in the sea!"
Silas knew that the answer to problem was the answer to all problems: God.
"Stop!" he shouted; everyone turned to look at him. "God is the answer to your problem. Opus Dei will show you The Way."
The monk took out some Opus Dei pamphlets and handed them out to everyone.
"Now, I choose to wear my cilice all day every day, but you can choose to wear it for the minimum of two hours," he informed them cheerfully, brandishing his cilice and letting the small crowd examine it.
"I will take the Ring to Mordor!" a small, blue-eyed creature (that resembled a small boy) cried out rather randomly.
"You have my sword," a dirty-haired man vowed.
"And you have my bow," a blonde person with pointy ears promised.
"And my axe," an extremely hairy dwarf offered.
Silas felt inspired, so he took out his small firearm, waved it in the air, and declared, "And you have my gun!...Hey I feel kinda dizzy…" There was a loud THUMP! as he passed out and hit the ground. The hulking albino then disappeared to the utter shock of Elrond's council.