To Promiscuously Dance

Jessica and Sam were celebrating a delicious Valentine's Day together. Jessica had cooked a naughty dinner and they ate

it on a small child by candlelight.

"My darling," Jessica said, stroking Sam's left buttock, "I have something for you." She gave a box to Sam. "It is but a fluffy

token of my everlasting love."

Sam opened the box. Inside was a purring toaster! He gazed at it tenderly. Then he gazed at Jessica tenderly. "It's

squealing," Sam said. "Come here and let me dance with you."

Just then, a mysterious crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like a fat woman with a bad haircut. "Your happiness will

not last!" she said in a raspy voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.

Sam read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my sister."

They stared at each other, shocked, as the crone cackled some more. Jessica's ear lobe began to tremble. Then Sam

shrugged, pulled out a muffin, and hit the crone on her eyeball. She fell over dead.

"Problem solved!" Sam said and kissed Jessica tenaciously. "This is a spiffy Valentine's Day!"

They burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul. And then they danced with each other all night

long.