A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed the first chapter! To those who said they were looking forward to reading Beckett's reaction to Castle's confession, well, I've always imagined that no matter the surrounding circumstances, she'd have the same reaction she did in the show. And to the Guest who didn't really like how Beckett pushed her way into Castle's apartment, I apologize because Castle kinda does the same thing in this one. But I'd also like to mention that Castle could have stopped Beckett if he really wanted to. So...subtext? :)

"I know not whether I do not too much indulge the vain longings of affection; but I hope they intenerate my heart..." - James Boswell, The Life of Samuel Johnson, 1791

Intenerate My Heart

Part Two

He didn't even try calling her after the second day of her ignoring him. He knew that pestering her would only make her angrier and prolong her silence, so he told himself that he'd give her a week. He wasn't surprised that neither Ryan nor Esposito called him, either; he was sure that Beckett had told them everything, or at least enough for them to know it was bad.

Finally the week was up, and with complete radio silence from Beckett, he decided enough was enough. She was going to talk to him, to hear him out, no matter what. He'd barely gotten his confession out about Smith and the file before she'd yelled at him, called him a bastard and asshole and accused him of betraying her, and stormed out.

Castle arrived at her door in the waning hours of the evening, not sure if he wanted her to be home or not. He knocked on her door twice and got no answer; either she wasn't home, or she was ignoring him. Well, she was out of luck. He wasn't going anywhere.

It was nearly midnight before Beckett arrived home to see Castle sitting against her door, his head leaning against it, asleep and lightly snoring. She felt a myriad of emotions, ranging from amusement to anger to an overwhelming feeling of love. She understood why he'd done what he did; even her own dad had apparently asked Castle to keep her from the case. But he still lied to her, and that hurt more than him keeping the evidence from her. If she'd known about Smith, known about the file he had...

Kate didn't want to wake him, but not only did she need to get inside – it had been a very long day spent wrapping up a very difficult case – he didn't look comfortable. She approached him quietly and kicked his outstretched foot with hers. "Hey," she said quietly, mindful of the late hour and her neighbors who were already asleep.

Castle jerked awake, looking around in confusion before settling his eyes on her. He stood slowly, wincing at his sore back and tailbone. Sitting on a hard floor for hours was definitely not ideal. "Hi," he replied cautiously.

"How long have you been out here?"

"Um, I got here around six, maybe? Seven? I'm not sure." He stepped to the side as Beckett moved to unlock the door. "I came to talk to you."

Beckett stopped, her key in the lock, and leaned her forehead against the door. "Look, Castle, I'm tired. It's been a long day. Can we talk tomorrow after I get off work?"

"Sure. I'll just sleep on the couch."

She whirled around, fire in her eyes. "You are not sleeping on my couch, Castle. You're not coming inside, not after that shit you pulled."

Castle stretched, his back popping. "Well I'm not going home, so I'm either coming inside or sleeping out here. I'm pretty sure your neighbors would rather I not be in the hallway when they get up."

Beckett glared at him for a minute, then finally relented. He did have a point about her neighbors. And she knew him well enough to know when he was being more stubborn than her. "Fine."

Castle was alone when he woke the next morning. At first he thought maybe Beckett had decided against their much needed talk and had gone into work, until he saw the note on the coffee table.

Took today off. Went for coffee. Back soon.

She'd been kind enough to leave a toothbrush out for him. Small victories, he decided. He'd just come out of her bathroom when she walked through her door, balancing a drink carrier and pastry bag in one hand while locking the door with the other. Castle rushed forward to help when he saw the coffee waver.

Beckett managed to steady the coffee while shooting him one of her best looks. "I got it, Castle," she snapped.

Castle stepped into her kitchen. "Alright. Plate?"

"Nope."

Okay, so toothbrush aside, he wasn't forgiven, a point confirmed when she pulled his wallet out of her pocket.

"Thanks for the coffee," Beckett said, tossing the wallet towards him. At his questioning stare, she rolled her eyes. "I bought last time and it went untouched. It was your turn."

"That's fair." Castle sat on the couch and motioned to the other end. He didn't speak until she sat, placing his coffee in front of him. The pastry bag held just one bear claw, which she picked at, not even offering to share. That was also fair. "I need to explain myself, what I did."

"I'm listening."

"Your dad came to see me. Last year. After Raglan was killed and Lockwood had escaped. Anyways, he asked me to watch out for you, to keep you safe. To keep you from spiraling again."

"Is he a part of this too?"

Castle saw the panic in her eyes and quickly shook his head. "No, this was before. He had no idea. After you got shot, I got a phone call from a man who calls himself Smith. He'd been a friend of Montgomery's for a long time…"

It all came out then, Castle's promise to keep her from the case in return for Smith keeping her safe with the file. As he told her all of it, he saw her steely exterior start to soften and she eventually stood, started to pace. Finally, after what seemed like hours, Castle was silent.

Kate took several minutes to think about it, to process what Castle had told her. Yes, she was mad, felt betrayed. He knew what the case meant to her. But when she'd talked to her dad a few days before, he'd made a good point: Castle loved her and would keep her safe, even if it meant the possibility of losing her. Because to Castle, Kate being alive was worth more than any one case that may never be solved.

Even if it was her mom's.

Finally, Kate sat back down. "I don't like what you did," she started slowly. "But I know why you did it. And I would have probably done the same thing. I wish you had told me, but I understand why you didn't." She shifted closer, put a hand on his knee. "Let's make a deal."

"What kind of deal?"

"No more apologies. Not about these things, anyway. I don't apologize anymore for lying, you don't for keeping that secret. I forgive you, Rick. We've come clean. I want us to move forward. Can we do that?"

Castle smiled. "Yeah, we can do that." His hands snuck around her waist. "Seal with a kiss?"

Kate mirrored his grin with one of her own and pulled his head to hers. "Deal."