Goddesses damn it. I would wake up with an earful of water – in a dark space, with the ghostly outline of some sort of creepy tree nearby, and nothing else remotely familiar or otherwise comforting. Coughing and spluttering, I raised myself up onto my forearms, cracking my neck loudly and painfully in the process. "Dammit." The left side of my body was soaked through, and, after stumbling unsteadily to my feet, patting the clothes only made my gauntlets slick and my hands numb. Beneath my boots I felt the disturbing impression my body had made in the soft silt arranged into a small, oblong mound. Perfect. It was almost as if someone had been expecting me. Except, this place had a ceiling.

Bloody brilliant.

"You would fall off a balcony and somehow end up in the secret Twili swimming pool."

Now that I could see the rest of the cavern, I noted the lack of an immediate exit, the seemingly infinite space, the lone scraggly tree, and the stuffy air. To top it off, my one boot felt like a leather bucket, and judging by the strange swirling pressure around my ankles, a current of some kind was probably responsible for the flooding. For all I knew, I was standing in ye olde abandoned bathhouse or something, with goddesses-only-knew what else lurking in the shallow depths – and although the freezing, brackish water only came up to my calves when I left the island, I in no way found this amusing or reassuring or anything other than eerie as hell. There weren't any windows, or any doors, or any signs of life aside from my own uncontrollable shivering. This wasn't a manmade place, most likely… although it struck me as hair-raisingly familiar somehow.

Well. It was entirely possible that I'd died and gotten myself thrown into purgatory or something. I did, after all, take a swan dive into oblivion courtesy of that lieutenant, so it was reasonable to assume I'd burst into smithereens upon impact. Or, I could be somewhere else entirely. Zant could pop out of the floor. Or Ganondorf. Goddesses, but that would ruin my day. Well. It would ruin my day that much more. I shook my head decidedly, and, reaching a hand behind me to unbuckle the straps, I emptied the water trapped in my sheath and quiver. I think you've reached a new level, Link. Of what, I didn't care to speculate. The place was deathly quiet as well, and when I sloshed around, things crunched under my feet. Crunchy things. Probably discarded bones of unfortunate wayfarers. Not that you could really fare your way into a place like this without colossal effort and a pinch of bad luck or overdue karma.

I hate karma.

"Midna?" I called out. My throat was scratchy and my voice sounded awful, like I'd just swallowed a mouthful of gravel. I almost wished that I had, if it meant avoidance of this particular situation. If I stood still too long, it felt like the unseen walls were creeping towards me, inching closer and closer to the ultimate goal of making wood pulp with Dark Link sprinkles. "Midna?" The echo bounced back quickly. Small? Great. I just loved deceptively small, dark, impossibly enclosed spaces that confirmed my worst predictions. I stepped around the tree, even whacked at it with my sword; it quivered like it was real. But this didn't bloody feel real. One second I was admiring the sky, and the next, I was waking up here, in some goddesses-forsaken place, sopping wet and with a goddesses-awful headache – and, as I quickly realized upon an automatic attempt, I couldn't warp out.

Cue the panic, no thanks to the stupid Mirror.

"HELLO? HELP! MIDNA! THIS ISN'T FUNNY!"

I wondered vaguely what Link would do if he were here. I couldn't sit down anywhere to think, and dissolving just irritated me because of the inappropriate effort. The exhaustion didn't really make sense though, even following an apparently nonfatal fall – assuming I wasn't dead. And I felt alive… definitely found a pulse at the wrist, fluttering and frantic but most definitely there. And if I really fell all that way, supposedly landing here, shouldn't I be physically injured? Couldn't be purgatory. Couldn't be dead. Couldn't have fallen, unless this place had a trapdoor hidden in the ceiling, and as far as I could tell, it most definitely didn't.

Calling out again, I waited a split second for a response – but nothing answered, aside from what appeared to be mist rising from the surface of the water. Light, hazy and dim, filtered down from somewhere - or maybe it was just reflecting off the water? It made my eyes hurt trying to figure it out so I gave up. Annoyed, I elected to skulk around in the shadows beneath the tree while waiting for something important to happen, since important things always happened unexpectedly in dark, dingy, and apparently wet places such as this. Although, despite anticipating varying degrees of excitement, I knew that even if something did happen, I probably wouldn't be able to defend myself very well; no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't summon much feeling into my numb fingers, and with only the sword at my back and my bow sans arrows, I didn't stand much of a chance. Oh, I had the cold fear swelling in my throat, too. That made me feel so much safer. And hypoxic.

But I didn't have very long to wait: the clatter of metal scraping against metal, and boots trudging through water abruptly reached me, headed in my direction. The person drew nearer; first the sounds, then an outline in the mist, and as my heart leapt into my throat to join the fear, I found myself face-to-face with a certain blonde guy in a disturbingly familiar hat.

"Link?" I stammered. "What the hell are you doing here? Where the hell are we?"

His only reaction was to raise his shield. But when he did, I immediately picked up on the different battle stance. Rather than the Link we all knew and loved, this was some other guy parading around with a certain hat and a sharp sword – and the Triforce of Courage, blazing away like the sun on the back of his left hand, right through the thick leather of his gauntlet, even as he leant into a charge. I felt myself swallow thickly.

"Hey, can't we talk about this?"

I took the clash of steel as a solid, "No."

Gritting my teeth, I shoved against our locked blades until he gave, stepping back with mild surprise. In an instant it was gone; the gangly blond charged again, sword flying with frenzied strokes, but unlike the Link I knew, there was only raw strength behind his attack and no technique. That made it both difficult and simple to parry: this guy was essentially swinging the Master Sword at random like a little kid with a long stick. He had practically no clue how to use it, aside from knowing to stick opponents with the pointy end. It was almost exactly the same way I fought, except that he was considerably taller and stronger. Annoyed, I jumped onto the flat of his blade and poked his nose.

"If you don't stop flailing around, you're gonna put your eye out," I drawled.

The kid shrieked angrily and flipped the sword to dislodge my boots, but it didn't last long. A glowing ball zipped out from underneath his hat, circled my head once, then hovered by his shoulder. And then it talked, with a freakishly high-pitched female voice. "He… might be a demon, Link."

"I'm not a demon," I snapped at the pair. "Demons-"

"Don't trust him," bit back the blinking light dismissively. "He's a monster."

He attempted a forward slice, but I just barely blocked the strike, stumbling a little as our hilts locked and knocked the blow askew. Swiftly, I shoved the kid against the trunk of the tree on the central island and stepped back, both of us breathing heavily and glaring at the other. It was everything I could do just to keep my head on my shoulders. Despite wanting to punch him, I kept my distance, sword point dragging in the water, and stared him down quietly.

"He's copying me, Navi," Link directed at the shimmering ball. "He's copying everything I do, and then he jumps on my sword!"

Well, this was a surprise. I hadn't expected any words… maybe a gesture or two, but nothing as fancy as actual words. I also was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt since his name was Link and he had both the Triforce of Courage and the Master Sword in his possession, but he had this petulant bravado coating his words that made him sound at odds with his appearance. He sounded more like my little brother than the legendary swordsman he was probably trying to be. Shaking my head, I demanded disbelievingly, "Are you seriously talking about me when I'm standing right here?"

The kid looked at me, nose in the air, sword held tightly in a hand balanced on his hip. "I don't talk to demons."

Could he act any more juvenile? …and that's coming from you, of all people. Furious with his attitude and the way the glowing ball encouraged his treatment of me, I sheathed my sword as loudly as I could and snapped my fingers in the kid's face. I may have been too weak to warp just yet, but I considered conjuring a small bottle and trapping the annoying ball a good use of limited resources. Turning the dark glass over in my hands, I glared at the faint light trapped inside, which by now I recognized as a fairy… although it definitely wasn't of the usual healing variety. Rather than the pale pink I'd always coveted, this one glowed yellow, pulsating in time to an inhumanly fast heartbeat, and flashed whenever I moved. I didn't like it.

"Hey, she's my fairy!" Snatching the bottle from me, he wound up to smash it on the ground- until the fairy inside started ricocheting off the walls of her prison in alarm, and he slowly, thoughtfully, lowered his arm. The kid didn't like my little trick, but he seemed to respect it.

"Do you always do what she says?"

He looked at me sharply, but some of his anger was reassuringly fizzling into curiosity. "No," he replied slowly, cocking his head and putting the bottle away into a small pouch on his belt, "she's my friend, and sometimes she has good advice." Squinting, he crossed his arms over his chest. "So if you aren't a demon, what are you? Why are you here? The monsters in these places never talk."

"Shouldn't I ask you the same thing?" I moved away a few paces to examine the cavern again, but stopped to appraise the kid. If it weren't for his juvenile attitude and excessive use of words, he could've been Link's twin – disregarding, of course, the brighter blue of his eyes and the lighter hair, as well as the lankier frame. The resemblance was definitely striking, considering their shared name. I noticed that he wore a ratty blue tunic of some shiny, scaly material, and a white long-sleeved undershirt, all over a pair of worn ivory riding pants. He even had a long blue cap perched on top of his head. But I couldn't process this Link's readiness to speak. Didn't that violate some sort of character code somewhere? Not only did this kid talk, but he liked to whine too. The Link I actually liked could stop a whinger with a single look. That was skill, or a disability. "I'm not a monster, either. Where are we anyway?"

Link rolled his eyes. "This is the water temple, duh. There's no reason for me not to be down here." He grumbled something to himself, but before I could question whatever it was, he hefted his sword threateningly and tossed his head with annoyance. "You haven't answered my question, Dark Link!"

Wait. What? How could he possibly- "How do you know my name?"

"Navi told me," the kid responded matter-of-factly.

"Navi told you," I repeated faintly. Well that just cleared everything up beautifully, didn't it? "That- I-I've never been here until now. She-"

"Navi also said you're a demon," he continued, eyes hooded. "You haven't answered my question."

I glared at him. "I'm half-Twili."

A sour look twisted his pointed face. "What's a Twili?"

"Magic shadow people not from around here."

"Sounds like the Sheikah," he mumbled. Before I could stop him and demand more information, he popped his sword back into its sheath and walked away. "I'm leaving. You can come if you want."

"I- What?" He'd moved to a section of the wall, and now stood watching me over his shoulder as he knocked on random portions of the face. Why would he- We were fighting less than ten minutes ago. Hell, he'd insulted me by calling me a demon. I'd just bottled his stupid fairy. Maybe he really was only a naïve kid after all… with a destiny, no doubt. What a combination. "I don't think your fairy would like that very much."

Pivoting with surprising grace, he propped his hands on his hips and pouted at me. "I call the shots. It's all up to me, not her, and I think I could use a magic shadow. You don't seem like an enemy to me. And I won't let her out until a little later anyway."

"Look, kid, I'm not just going to tag along and perform party tricks for-"

"I saw your face," he replied forcefully. "I saw your face when I mentioned the Sheikah. You're trying to find them or something, aren't you?"

I was not about to let the kid one-up me like that, but damn he was observant. "And I bet you're on some quest to save a princess named Zelda and kill some guy named Ganondorf, yeah?" Conniving little bastard. That wiped the smug look off his face. "How about we strike a deal?"

"Deal?"

"Yeah, you know, like an agreement between two parties-"

"I know what a deal is," snapped the kid. Still pouting, he continued tapping on the wall until his knuckles rapped against whatever he was looking for, since he stopped and pulled out a bomb, much to my consternation. Of course the kid would have an entire arsenal at his disposal. Perfect. Not only did I have to uncover the details of my arrival here, but I had to worry about possibly getting blasted to smithereens by Mr. Hero over here. Thankfully, he seemed to change his mind and put it away again, although he did pull out a fat-looking flute before changing his mind about that too. Link coughed. "Okay. So I can introduce you to a Sheikah, and you can do shadow magic for me. Deal?"

I interrupted him with, "How old are you?"

Without pausing for thought, he replied, "Ten and a half."

I gaped openly at him now, but for some reason or another, I didn't feel stupid about it. There was no way in hell this kid could be ten. He was bigger than me, and I'd just turned seventeen. It did, however, confirm my suspicions a little. Sort of. "No you aren't."

"Yes-" His eyebrows cinched in apparent anger. "Yeah I am."

Oh no. I squinted at him again, this time analyzing the wide eyes that, now knowing his "age," unmistakably resembled a defiant ten-year-old's – a defiant Renado's, once upon a time. Well, that explained the attitude. I had no doubt that he'd seen and beaten monsters before I came along, as his presence implied… but now, this Link stood quietly, fuming but suddenly obediently, as if by admitting his real age he'd given me some inexplicably important weapon. Maybe he had, since I was most definitely older mentally and more experienced temporally than he was. I snapped my fingers and stepped away from him, reeling slightly from the admission, even after the initial struggle to rationalize. "You're really ten, aren't you? What, did you eat some magic beans or something?"

Rolling his eyes again, he brushed back his hair and adjusted his hat with a careful tug to the side, so that it sat just off-kilter. "Yes," he repeated. "I'm ten. But it's a long story and I just want to go home." His hand strayed to his hilt, and I turned transient as a precaution, just in case he wanted to try what I thought he might be thinking. Which, as he unsheathed the blade, turned out to be correct – not that transience helped against the Master Sword. But even as he drew his weapon, that expression of uncertainty lingered. "And to go home, I need to break this stupid blood seal-"

"Blood seal?" I stared blankly. The kid wriggled his fingers as if requesting one of my appendages for sacrifice. "Kid, what the hell are you talking about, blood- Ow!"

As matter-of-factly as before, the kid calmly wiped my blood from his blade with his palm and smeared it on the rock, all while I stood by incredulously, clutching my arm. In truth it was only a nick, but Farore, Nayru, and Din, the Master Sword hurt. Allies weren't supposed to cut allies for no reason. Almost in direct response the kid grinned, "Blood seal. Navi says the temple chambers are locked with magic blood seals, and my blood never works. She says only the blood of the monsters inside the temple works on the doors because the temple wants to be purified."

Right on cue, the rock melted. I tried not to look offended. Instead, I followed him through the door with an unsettling sense of déjà vu whining at the back of my mind, since Midna and I had properly met in a water temple. All I'd wanted then was to go home to my brother and hide from the problems I ended up facing anyway, unwillingly, unwittingly. This kid just wanted to go home too. Goddesses but we both just wanted to go home now. What a pattern.

With Link standing at his full height beside me, I beamed in the dim light of the new cave. "A new adventure, then," I announced with painfully false cheer. "So where are we going?"