Snape sighed irritably as the kids behind him squabbled. He tried mentally blocking them out for a while, and needless to say, it didn't work.

All of the students were in their classrooms, and Snape could have almost praised God for that. There would be no strange looks, or even stranger fan girl glompings. No, not today.

He turned around and gave a death glare to the children, and they immediately became quiet. He smiled to himself and continued on his way.

They came in front of Dumbledore's office. He took a deep breath and whispered, "Chocolate Malt Ball." The statue moved and an all too familiar flight of stairs were shown.

"Oh, I've had those before!" yelled Neville. "They're DELICIOUS!" He added. Hermione looked at him, annoyed. "Uh, my parents are dentists, and they have always told me that chocolate is bad for you!"

Ron, Harry, Neville, and Draco looked at her dubiously. "Uh, so?" asked Harry and Ron in unison. Hermione sighed angrily. "Well, DON'T come whining to me when all your teeth fall out!"

"CHILDREN!" shouted Snape. He saw Hermione's eyes well up with tears and he took a deep breath and gritted his teeth. "Follow me, if you will."

"And what if I will not?" asked Draco, smirking. The other boys snickered. Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Then I," said Snape, smiling, "will slap you so hard, you won't even know what hit you!"

They looked at Draco in surprise, as if asking him to say something. He cleared his throat and said, "WEASLEY STARTED IT!"

"And I'm ending it!" piped in Hermione. She grabbed Snape's hand. "Let's go!" she said, and smiled, her buck teeth showing.

Snape gulped and immediately moved his hand. "Don't do that!" he snapped. Tears welled up in Hermione's eyes ( yet again ). Snape sighed. 'Bloody emotional 8 year old girls…' he thought. "Fine, fine, whatever…" he grumbled, and snatched his hands.

The boys snickered. Neville sang under his breath, "Hermione and Snape, sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g!" They laughed. Snape turned around and gave them death glares.

Finally, they walked up the curving stairs to Dumbledore's office. Hermione had to jump two steps at a time to keep up with Snape. Snape looked over at her and blushed slightly; looking at how adorable she was…

'Get a hold of yourself! It's bad enough liking her at her NORMAL age! You're becoming even more of a pedophile by the minute!' he thought, and shook his head. He began walk faster and the other boys fought to catch up with him. He stepped into Dumbledore's office.

"Dumbledore!" he called. "Just a minute!" came the reply. He heard stifled giggles and he walked out, his robes wrinkled and lipstick on his cheek. Snape looked at him, completely and utterly freaked out. He quickly covered Hermione's eyes.

The other boys were still on the steps.

Dumbledore wiped it off and coughed loudly. "Uhm, erm, sorry about that, Snape. Just, eh, taking a bit of business with Minerva…"

Snape looked away. 'He's bloody insane' he thought. Dumbledore coughed again when Neville, Harry, Ron, and Draco came in.

"So! Snape, are these your illegal children? You dog, you!" he said, snickering. Snape regained his composure and replied curtly, "No. These are your STUDENTS."

Dumbledore peered at them over his spectacles. "Students, eh? They look awfully young."

Snape gritted his teeth. "There was an accident in Potions class. These children are Harry, Ron, Draco, Neville, and Hermione."

Dumbledore smiled. "Ah, I see. Well there's nothing we can do now!"

Snape looked at him. "So are you saying that we're just gonna let them be?"

"Oh, no!" said Dumbledore. "They're going to be looked after!"

Snape sighed in relief. "Thank GOD! Who's it gonna be?"

"Why, you, of course!" said Dumbledore. "What a stupid question!"

Snape gaped at him.

Dumbledore coughed. "As I said, I have some… erm… business to take care of with Minerva!" Snape just continued staring. "It happened in your classroom!"

"B-b-but…" he spluttered. The children behind him giggled softly.

"I just knew you'd be at a loss of words! Thanks a heap Snape!" Dumbledore smiled and patted him on the back. Snape's mouth was wide open and his eyes were open wide.

" 'Thanks a heap Snape!' I'm going to kill that ba— " he covered his mouth as to not swear in front of the little ones.

"Snape's our baby sitter?" asked Neville. Potter frowned. "But I dun like him…" Ron nodded. Hermione grinned.

Malfoy, however… he scoffed. "Snape? Can we even trust such a man to be a guardian? I think not!"

Harry nodded. "I agree!"

So did Ron and Neville.

They all yelled, "REVOOOOOOLLLLLLTTTTT!"

All of the boys jumped Snape and he tumbled toward the ground. "YOU STUPID CHILDREN!" He yelled. "Let's bother Snape some more you guys!" said Harry.

Ron poked him. "Bother."

"Screw that Weasly!" Malfoy said. As Snape got to his feet he and Neville both tackled him. "WE'RE BOTHERING SNAPE, YAY!"

Hermione stood in front of Snape in front of the boys. "Stop! Stop it right now!"

"Why should we?" sneered Malfoy.

Hermione grinned slyly. "Because if you don't, I'll give ALL of you cooties."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" They all yelled. They backed off, and Hermione helped Snape up.

"Snape, you look different." said Hermione, as he stood. She concentrated on his face. "Like… a lot different."

Snape snapped, "Of course I do! I JUST GOT TRAMPLED BY CHILDREN!" He sighed, regained his composure, and grabbed a mirror.

He stared at his reflection in surprise.

"What tha-" he said, and dropped the mirror.

Akikko: DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!