-1Prologue:

The Fall of Renais

Despite the efforts of the rather useless Renais army, Grado was able to shove through the country all the way to the capital. Prince Ephraim, along with his entourage of two knights, one experience-hog, several soldiers (all of whom died almost immediately), and one tactician, rode off to fight the Grado, but quickly disappeared into the forests. Fado assumed they were dead. Lorraine assumed that her chicken-wuss son decided to hide.

Soon, the armies of Grado were at the gates. Renais would fall it. It was inevitable. Just look at the title, it's inevitable!

Inside the besieged Renais castle, King Fado stroked his blue-greenish beard. His Queen drummed her fingers on the chain of her throne. Both were sweating from the strain of concern.

Lorraine finally snapped. "Make a move already, you sissy!"

"Fine!" The King made his move. "Hah! King me!"

"Dammit! How did I not see those four pieces in a row? CURSES!"

Fado chuckled. "That's why they call me the King of Checkers!"

A soldier standing to the side cleared his throat. "Your Highnesses? We have a slight problem…"

King Fado sighed uproariously. "It had BETTER be a big one for you to interrupt the only thing in the world that I'm better at then my shrewish wife!"

"The Grado army is in the castle. We're all gonna die."

"…Ah. Well that is a problem. Mighta helped if you had told me that earlier, you nimrod!"

A high-pitched squeal ensued, until Lorraine slapped her husband over the head to get him to stop. "No wonder Ephraim is such a baby! You're a terrible role model!"

"Sorry honey…"

"This is obviously Mathwin's fault! Why did you leave the defense of the castle to him?! I told you that we should have kept Karson here!"

"Well, I'm glad I came into the room just in time to hear that insult."

"How was I supposed to know that Ephraim would vanish without a trace and that the Grado army would actually make it this far?"

"Oh shut up! We're in trouble, and, as king, you need to get us out of it!"

"Very well! I say we run away like scared little girls!"

Lorraine scowled. "For once, I think your baby tactics might make sense. Now, where is that Eirika?"

The Princess ran into the hall, followed by two knights, one with blonde hair (and a striking resemblance to Forde), and the other with red. "Father! Mother! The Grado soldiers are in the castle! We're all going to die!"

"Gee, thanks for the head's up. That's really helpful now," King Fado sighed, standing from the checker-strewn table, "Alright, it's time to enact Operation: Run like a bunch of sissies!"

The red-haired cavalier smiled. "Ah, your Grace, you are truly a hero amongst men! To sacrifice yourself so that the rest of us can escape this doomed castle!"

"Why yes, I am- wait a minute, sacrifice?"

Lorraine cleared her throat. "Before we leave, I think we're going to need someone a little more capable than two measly cavaliers to protect us. I vote we go ahead and promote one of you two to the status of Paladin."

Fado nodded. "Now, I shall choose according to the most tried-and-true method available to we kings of Renais!" Fado pointed at the red-haired cavalier. "Eeny, meeny, miney, mo! Catch a tiger by the toe! If he hollers let him go! Eeny meeny miney mo!" His finger stopped on the red-haired knight. "Sir Seth it is!"

Seth blinked, then cleared his throat. "While I am flattered, your Grace, would it not be better to wait until I have achieved the twentieth level of my training?"

"Well normally yes, but we're kinda pressed for time, and we kinda need a Paladin pretty desperately right now. I mean, who else is going to fit the role of Powerful-At-First-But-Later-Useless-Paladin-Advisor?"

"Useless? That's a bit harsh…"

"Bah, just kneel so we can get the special effects over with. This is seriously cutting into our fleeing like sissies time." Seth sighed in defeat, kneeling before King Fado as he touched the knight on each shoulder with his sword. Seth stood up, and with an amazing(ly cheap) flash of light and lightning, Seth stood in a completely different outfit.

The blonde cavalier cheered. "Yay General Seth!"

Eirika clapped unenthusiastically. "Yes yes, good show. Now maybe you will not be such a waste of space."

Seth scowled at the Princess. "I… suppose I should take that as a compliment?"

"No, actually I've always thought you a sub-par knight, and now that you're a paladin I can think of you as a not quite sub-par knight. That is, until we find other, better paladins to take your place."

Seth decided not to say anything.

Lorraine checked her wrist before remembering that watches were not yet invented, then snapped at the assembled people. "Time to escape! Let's hurry up with Operation: Run like sissies into action!"

"Righto! Seth, Franz, get on your horses and ride away. Oh, and don't forget to take Eirika!"

"AHEM!"

"Oh, and my wife too, I suppose."

Eirika sat behind Seth on his white steed while Queen Lorraine harrumphed at being assigned to Franz's less glamorous brown one. The two knights then rode off.

Fado rubbed his hands together. "Now then! To mount my own royal steed and escape as well! Now, where did I hide that thing…" The King went behind the throne. He found the secret stable for his own private horse, littered with horsey-smelling droppings. However, there was no horse.

"Well…. This might be a problem…"

Meanwhile (you must be getting sick of hearing that)

"Make fun of me will ya! Well who is laughing now!" Mathwin rode the King's horse ahead of Queen Lorraine and Princess Eirika.

Back at the castle, Seth and Franz paused outside the gates. "Franz!" Seth yelled to his newly-made subordinate, "Take the Queen straight to Frelia! We must enlist the aid of King Hayden!"

Franz blinked. "But aren't we both going there anyway?"

"Yes, but it will be much easier for me to make it if you draw all the enemies toward you as I ride along more stealthily."

"You… huh?"

"Nothing. Now ride you fool! Ride!" Franz rode off, the Queen sighing again.

Seth turned to the Princess, who was scowling for some reason. "What's wrong, Princess Eirika?"

"You smell like horse."

"Well… that's natural, considering I ride one everywhere I go…"

"But don't you ever BATHE?"

Seth sighed, then started to ride… when something large, ugly, and decidedly dangerous landed in front of him.

It was a wyvern, a strange looking one that lacked front legs, and had a much more serpentine appearance. On its back was a knight in black armor, with long, greasy looking green hair and an unhealthy-look on his face. He was grinning maliciously at Seth and Eirika. "Well well, lucky me. I found the cute little Princess of Renais, and she's all mine! No idiot generals to get in my way!"

Seth drew out his silver lane, glancing back at Eirika. "Fear not, Princess! I shall defeat the fiend!"

"Oh?" Eirika asked skeptically, "But you're only a sub-par Paladin, and he's a rather nasty looking Wyvern Knight. I don't think there is really any chance in hell of you winning."

"Well, thanks for backing me up. Glad to know I have someone to support me…"

The wyvern knight cackled. "You have nowhere to run, little man! We're stuck in this valley that some idiot thought would be a good place for a castle! The only way to escape is through me!"

Seth glanced back. "What about that way? That looks like a good way to escape." With that, Seth started to ride toward the western exit of the valley.

"Hey! Cheater!" The wyvern knight flew after, spear held to… spear the Paladin and his charge. Unfortunately, Seth turned right before hitting a tree. The wyvern was by then going too fast, and ended up going through the tree and then into the valley wall.

The rider fell off his mount, which proceeded to peel off the mountain and land on him. "Ow. Damn gravity."

Seth rode with Eirika in tow until they reached a river near the border of Renais and Frelia. He stopped to look back, sighing in relief. "That Wyvern Knight does not appear to have followed us. Looks like we're safe," He grinned at the Princess, more in a taunting way than a heroic one. "How's that for a sub-par paladin?"

Eirika shrugged. "Technically, you didn't really do anything. Your horse did it. And riding really doesn't have much to do with being a sub-par Paladin."

Seth sighed again, then looked forward. "Looks like we'll be safe if we go on a bit farther to Border Mulan. But just in case, Princess, I want you to take this."

Eirika glanced at the rapier Seth passed to her. "What am I supposed to do with this?"

"Well… stab things obviously!"

"But isn't that what swords are for? This looks more like something to eat a shish-kebab off of."

The knight sighed a third time. "Then just pretend that all the bad guys are shish-kebabs, and… shish-kebab them!"

As if on cue, several shish-kebabs showed up. Their leader was a generic axeman with a helmet and a scraggly beard. "Look! It's that bum paladin and the Princess of Renais! Let's get them!"

"As if this wasn't going to be trying enough on my nerves… Alright, I'll take care of them."

"Oh, don't fret, Seth. I'll take care of them with this poking device. You can sit back and not hog the experience." Eirika slid off Seth's horse and strolled over to the enemy soldiers, all of whom seemed to look rather like their leader, the generic axeman.

Seth sighed, following at a trot.

"Ho ho! The cowardly knight is giving us the girl so he can save his own life! We win by default!"

"Well, no actually," Eirika said in her lordly tone, "I'm actually here to run you blighters through with this rapier I have here. Unless, of course, you wish to surrender?"

The three axemen stared at her, then broke down into fits of laughter. "Yeah right, missy! You're coming with us!" Two charged while the leader was still wiping his eyes (which were invisible under his helmet, for some reason) from laughing so hard.

Eirika dodged one axe strike, poking her rapier through the attacker's armpit. He grunted before he was shish-kebabed. Eirika smiled, not noticing the other one attacking her from behind. Fortunately, Seth came up and lobbed that one's head off with his sword.

The leader had finally regained some self-control when he noticed his lackeys were defeated. "Hey! No fair!" He charged at Eirika, who only just managed to avoid being cut in half by his axe. She poked at him, but her rapier was repelled by his leather armor. "Heh, sorry girly, but I'm tougher than those cronies! Look at my biceps! They is HUGE!"

"I see your grammar isn't much better than the common thug's, though," Eirika pointed out, completely serious. Seth rubbed a hand across his face. She's correcting his grammar in the middle of a fight?

"That wasn't very nice, you mean little girl!"

"Oh my! You understood what I said? I had expected a commoner of your low education and vocation to lack the vocabulary of a sophisticated noble such as myself and thus not understand a word I just said."

"The whoosy… with the whazzy… stop making fun of my lack of smartieness! It's not my fault I was borned poor!"

"You still need not be so rude and odiferous."

"I do not need to stand here and take this!" The thug threw his axe down and ran away, sobbing.

Seth was too flabbergasted to comment. Eirika pulled herself back onto his horse. "Shall we be going, sir Paladin?"

"Ah… yes… I suppose we should be." The knight turned his horse and galloped off across the river, and on to Border Mulan.