Chapter 2: sweet and sour
His familiar strong hands gently turned her around. "I can not look up, if I do I will just realize that it is only my imagination" But when he wrapped his arms around her, she felt safe again and simply let go of everything. She was herself against his body, her head hiding in his chest. Whatever she'd done, whatever she'd been through, she was real and herself. "His arms even got stronger", she thought with a smile.
Why did everything have to be so simple when she could feel his warmth? Memories were coming back to her. How could she know that the same images were going through his mind? That he too was being nostalgic holding her so tight like he was never going to let her go?
The first time she "saved" him from a fight at the school dance, their first disastrous date looking in trash, their first kiss, the first time he came over for dinner and how nervous he was, their fights, their laughs, his support, her stubbornness, his kind smile, her faith in him…She was back at the place where she knew who she was. How would she have liked to have done things differently…how she would have liked to rewrite the past.
She always thought that they had a special connection, the type of bond that basically never goes away. He was her first love, her only real love, why did she keep on thinking that he will always be the only one? That in 5-10 even 50 years down the road, she would still have tingling sensation just knowing he was around.
"- oh Em, why are you crying?" His worried eyes tried to look through her. He could not believe how right it felt to just be holding her. She was slowly calming down but still did not say a word. And as he was going to say something…
"SEAN !!!!" Emma pulled away before he did. She heard Ellie screaming his name through the hallway. He, of course, heard it too. Most of the students heard that scream. Most of them actually seemed to have great interest in what was going on. They were looking at the scene like it was a soap opera. Sean coming back, hugging Emma, Ellie running towards him would probably be the gossip of the day.
Ellie was usually not that demonstrative. Sean was smiling. Of course, he was happy to see her. She still meant a lot to him. They were so much alike. They also had a history together… She had tears in her eyes as she came closer. "Em, I'm sorry I'll be right back" That's when he realized that she had left. He leaned against the locker…
Emma had to leave, she did not have the strength to see the both of them reuniting, especially after having felt his arms around her, smelled his cologne. She needed some time to put on the brave face and the fake smile, to then show them all that she did not care, that she was not hurting…
Sean and Ellie were looking awkwardly at each other. Ellie thought that she would be relieved as soon as he will be near her again. She really believed that she needed him in order to be balanced. Though, she realized that she grew stronger. She just could not rely on somebody to stay emotionally stable. Even if that somebody was the sweetest guy she ever met. Even if every time he would get closer to her, her heart would start racing…
After seeing that the first person he would go to was Emma and not her, his alleged girlfriend, she did not really know how to react. As soon as she saw him, she yelled his name spontaneously, she did not notice who he was holding right away. She felt sad but not as desperate as she thought. She just was not sure what to say now. Should she hug him? Should she kiss him? He had not called since he was back in Wasaga Beach and she did not dial his number either. He needed some time and as much as it was hard for her she gave him the distance that he needed.
After a few minutes starring at each other, he finally succeeded to say something to her.
"-Ellie, you look good. I've missed you, you know.
- I've missed you too Sean. And yes, I actually have been doing pretty well. You know, same old same old. How about you?
- Well it's pretty long and I don't know where to start.
- Sean, do you remember when we started dating? I explained to you that it was the first time I was doing the "relationship" thing…"
He smiled at her remembering their very beginning. He tried to get closer but she stepped away.
" - well you said that if I did not know how to do something I could come to you, right ?
- true
- then I think I need an advice, how do we know that we need a break? I know you've been gone for quite a time and I thought that as soon as you would come, we could just pick up where we left. We said "I love you" but did we mean it ? the real love not the buddy friendship that we have sometimes…I'm just confused and I know you are too…I mean you went to see Emma first, not me. And I know she needs you right now. She has not been doing good Sean and how much it scares me to say that, I think you're the only one she would accept help from. So, what do you say about that "break thing"?"
Sean listened to every word she said but in his mind all he could hear was "Emma was not doing good". He took a deep breath, kissed Ellie on the cheek and replied
" Ellie, I don't want to hurt you and I think you're doing pretty good on the relationship thing, better than me right now actually. I gotta admit I'm confused and I guess the break you're talking about might be a good idea"
Ellie just nodded, said she had to leave, that they could talk later and turned away. She went straight to the bathrooms, tears rolling down her pretty face. "I can do it" she kept on repeating herself. Sean was not the only one confused and she knew the break was a good idea but it still hurt….
Sean did not really do what to do with himself. Everybody was saying hi to him…but he had to find Emma.