Chapter 2

Keen on Boys

Hello, my dearest father

It's your favourite son

There's some things that I'm regretting

I am destroyer

I am lover

Death to Death ~ Stars

3rd August 2004

"Light."

Sochiro Yagami's voice echoed eerily behind Light in the hazy corridor. Was something burning? His body stopped almost on command when he heard his father's voice.

"What's wrong, Dad?"

Sochiro sounded so, so tired. Light often had to remind himself of what this man had been through. Within a short space of time he'd suffered a heart attack and insisted upon being locked in a cell because his son was under surveillance for mass murder. Did he do it because he believed in Light or because he thought it was true? And if it was true, it was his fault. If Light had done this thing, Soichiro might as well had done it himself. What must it be like to be told that your only son is Kira? What must it be like for a man like Sochiro Yagami to be told that his son is Kira?

"I'm sorry, Light"

The words made Light look down at his halted shoes, stark against the bare ivory tiled floor. It was almost like they were painted onto a blank canvas. Was he really here at all? Was that shame? No, no, never shame.

No, there was something about his father's voice which seemed...wrong. He felt himself turning back to face him.

There, about 20 feet away, his father stood firmly. His expression was pained but resolute, his arm outstretched with a gun in his hand. Behind him, a huge black crow-like monster laughed disgustingly and wrote in a small book which was cupped in his hand.

"Light, my son. From one murderer to another."

"Wait, NO!" His screams were so frantic that he almost didn't hear the gun fire, the sound of tearing cloth and flesh and bone. The feeling of warmth spreading across his chest. When he looked down, a slick of the darkest, richest red slowly encircled the outline of his shoes and spread out below him. Around his shadow. Blood red wings.

"NO!" he screamed, awaking to darkness.

"Light-kun, are you alright?"

"Wha... I..." he stuttered as the realisation came to him.

"A nightmare Light-kun?"

"I never dream."

"Everyone does Light-kun, only most of the time they are not recalled when you wake. Your brain is simply attempting to process..." L broke off when he heard the haphazard breathing next to him. Light searched frantically across his own chest, then, apparently assured all was well, he sank back into the bed. "Are you all right Light-kun," L said quietly, reaching out towards him in the dark.

"I'm fine."

"What did you dream about?"

"You only want to know so that you can analyse it."

"No. Well, yes. I probably will but I am genuinely concerned."

Light breathed out a tired laugh.

"Light-kun?" L repeated.

"I'm fine, Ryuzaki."

"Please tell me."

Light sighed, turning his head briefly towards where he expected L would be.

"I dreamt that my father shot me."

"Oh."

"And the analysis is?"

"I'm sorry Light-kun."

"Rubbish. I want my money back." Light made a weary smile, closing his eyes again and rubbing his hand across his forehead and wished that the room wasn't so bloody dark that he was talking to some disembodied voice. There was just silence next to him now. "Are you smiling?" Light said reaching over to the lamp beside him.

"Don't, Light."

"Oh. Ok. Sorry," Light said, gently falling back.

"It's obviously a latent result of the orchestration involving yourself, Amane-san and your father." L stated. "One interpretation would be that you feel guilty for putting any stress on your father."

'But if that was the case, wouldn't I kill him?' Light thought. No, he knew what it meant. L knew what it meant but he was being ...what? Comforting? He'd never held back hurtful comments from Light before.

"Thank you, L."

"You're welcome, Light. I... I didn't know if I could remember how to be kind."

"You were kind," Light breathed softly. "That was kindness."

Light had never thought L capable of lying to make him feel better, even though it was useless since they both knew what the other was thinking. It was the pretence which belied the hidden care beneath it. Almost without realising it, Light drew himself closer to L. He could just make out his profile in the dim light, reminding him of a silhouette portrait. Somehow in the darkness it wasn't real. He could see only darkness but could feel warmth and solidity beneath him. Strange not to see him clearly, like this. It was like looking into a mirror and seeing himself, because weren't they the same, really?

All these months, from being kept in isolation in that cell, L was the one constant. He was his captor, of course. The bitter resent continued to raise hackles he never knew he had, but then, even after the incident in the car with his father, Light couldn't wholly blame L. He could understand his reasoning. There were many blocks of time which he couldn't account for, something he put down to stress. The most worrying aspect of this scenario, the part which concerned him the most, was that he could understand Kira. Merely understanding him made him feel as if he should be punished. Over this time, he'd gone from harbouring an astonished feeling which bordered on hatred, to a deep respect for this strange man, only a little older than himself. Someone which Light had underestimated so severely.

However, one of the many sad results of all this was how it had affected his relationship with his father. Awkward silences and watching the pressing together of hands which had once held a gun to his head. Here was a man who'd so convincingly played the part of a father and yet he was prepared to blow a third eye into the skull of his son. He hadn't, obviously, but Light would never had imagined that his father would go along with a plan like that. He couldn't forgive him and he couldn't understand him. Light felt himself becoming more and more isolated, that is, if he ever was anything other than isolated. With only L for company, he realised that it was the only company he saw any value in anyway, in spite of himself.

He leant down and brushed against soft, swollen, dry lips. He felt L flinch slightly at the touch and Light smiled to himself that he'd taken the great detective by surprise and that his actions had had such an effect on a person who often seemed to be carved out of a pillar of stone.

L.

This was L underneath him. The realisation shook him back to reality as if he'd been burnt. He hastily pushed himself away, switching on the bedside lamp in panic as he did so. Feeling his feet fall flat on the floor, he cupped his head in his hands as he cringed upon the edge of the bed. The light from the lamp brought him back to himself but he couldn't bare to look at L.

"God, I'm sorry, L. I'm sorry. I don't know... I just."

"Light-kun," L said, his voice deeper than usual. Tinged with sadness.

"Don't, please. I'm just a bit fucked up at the moment. I'm sorry. Just forget it happened, if you can. God, I'm so embarrassed," he said, finding himself tearing at his own hair.

"There's no need to apologise."

"Ha, yeah, perfectly reasonable. Look, I don't do this kind of thing. I am genuinely fucked up," Light protested.

"Very well. I'm trying not be offended," L replied.

"Urgh, I didn't mean it like that. Oh, this day just gets worse and worse and I've only been awake for five minutes."

"It happened. The more you beat yourself up and tear your hair out about it will just make it more awkward. And you'll be bald."

"Yes, I better stop, I suppose," Light said, letting his arms fall and his hands rest upon his knees.

"You owe it to your hairdresser," L reassured him.

"I am sorry though. Really. I think I was confused."

"You were confused?" L repeated.

"Hmm," Light agreed when hearing it spoken aloud but ignored the emphasis. He felt slightly fortified.

"But you're not anymore," L said decisively.

"No. Well, a little. Mostly embarrassed and ...maybe I should see a psychiatrist?" Light said, words spilling over each other, coming out of his mouth as quick as his brain could form them.

"Do I really have that effect?" L said.

"No!" Light said spinning around to face him. Eyes. Oooh, a bit too soon. He averted his gaze to the pillow again.

L rushed the words out the door, sounding more than a little flustered, "Look, we'll forget about it. These things happen, I'm sure. I've read accounts of soldiers in the Belgian Congo being taken unaware by... waking up in the night and hormones and bad things."

"You have? Soldiers in the Belgian Congo?"

"They're very manly," L said emphatically.

"They must be," Light agreed. He didn't care if it was bollocks. At the moment he'd chosen to believe anything L said, hook, line and sinker as long as it diverted attention from the fact that he'd spontaneously kissed him in the middle of the night, in a bed, in the dark, and for a reason he didn't quite understand. His mind and body seemed to be playing tricks on him and he didn't like it one bit.

"And the Spartans. Remember the Spartans," L continued.

Yes. Remember the Spartans, Light thought. Hold on, what about the Spartans?

"The fact is, it will be quite difficult if you are unable to look at me ever again. We have to think of the investigation," L said, believing his own propaganda.

"Yes, you're right."

"So, we'll just go to sleep again, yes?"

"You weren't asleep," Light corrected.

"Well, I'll go to sleep this time. Do you want a glass of water or anything first?"

"No thank you. I'm not really sure why people would need water after this sort of situation."

"There must be a reason. People have receptacles which are kept in anticipation of this very situation."

"But I don't need any."

"Ok."

"Do you? I'm not saying there's anything wrong with wanting water it's just that I don't. But you might need some and I wouldn't want to stop you or make you feel awkward. Y'know, if you want some." Light groaned that drinking water in the middle of the night had become so awkward to discuss.

"I'm fine," L replied.

"Right. Good."

"I've never seen Light-kun babble. Even throughout your confinement you never babbled."

"Oh. Well, I wouldn't like to say that I never have. I might have done when I was little but I don't remember it."

"Obviously being accused of being a mass murderer is one thing but kissing another man is another thing entirely."

"Stop it!"

"Sorry, have I misunderstood? Do you normally react to kisses in this way, regardless of the sex of the recipient?"

"What? No! Just … let's just stop talking, ok? No water. Just sleep," Light said, flinging himself down on the bed, creeping over as far to the edge of the bed as he could without rolling off.

"Goodnight, Light-kun. I hope you don't have any more nightmares," L said to the boy's back before reaching over to switch over to turn off the lamp on Light's bedside table. Light winced at L's arm above him.

"Goodnight, Ryuzaki. I am sorry."

"Please stop apologising or I'll throw myself out of the window. My ego has taken a bit of a battering."

"Ok, sor...night."

Already dead. So kill my head

There's a sun in his eyes, it won't go away

Why is it I can't kill my -

He would never sleep. Said I didn't mind it at all

Made me feel quite cheap, looking back on it all

Then there was this kiss. He said that he couldn't resist

And was I aware of what I missed?

That night I slept on his couch with my back turned to the wall

Nothing assumed but, you know?

You know

In the morning we said nothing at all

All I could think of was this

He said that he couldn't resist, and was I aware of what I missed?

-Keen on Boys, The Radio Dept.

L sucked on his thumb absentmindedly as his thoughts scuttled over the nightmarish incident of a few hours before. It occurred to him that he generally didn't factor in Light's age as much as perhaps he should. Light's reaction last night was evidence enough that he was indeed the kind of seventeen-year-old who fretted over braces locking together and to whom noses crashing (generally being an obstacle you wish you could hack off with a craft knife) were still very much being an issue. He was not, despite evidence to the contrary, the kind of seventeen-year-old who was rocketing towards drawing his pension and looking forward to having an allotment and a rose garden, as Light so often made out. He didn't seen quite as sorted and savvy as he perhaps would like people to believe, at least in personal matters. And yet he put on such a good show.

But why this could be considered a revelation to L was another matter entirely. Light Yagami was a contradiction in as many respects as L could count. He was still convinced that the boy was Kira. He was convinced that he was putting on a show of feigning innocence. And now, he was convinced that he was the most remarkable person he'd ever met.

Oh, shut up, L brain.

Maybe this show was aided and abetted by Light's father, Soichiro, who was visibly shocked at the idea of his only son, shock horror, actually having pornographic magazines. Perhaps he was more shocked at Light's hiding them within a law encyclopedia slip cover. Gauging from his father's reaction, Light obviously had a lot to live up to in his eyes and time for porn wasn't factored into the equation.

L turned his face towards towards the sleeping youth, cramped uncomfortably as far away as he possibly could be without being in another room entirely. Almost on cue, Light stretched like a cat in his sleep, which unfortunately unbalanced his precarious position and he woke up with a start.

"IwasawakeIdidn'tmissanything!" he blurted out, propping himself up, panic stricken.

"Good morning, Light-kun," L said cheerfully.

"Good morning, Ryuzaki," Light replied.

They sat up in bed next to each other for a few painfully drawn out moments, the bed sheet neatly stretched across their laps.

"I'll have a shower," Light said, at length.

"Ok,"

Light began to move, but suddenly considering the logistics of the shower scenario at this moment in time put the fear of God into Light. He decided against it.

"On second thoughts. I'd love a coffee," he said.

"Ok," L replied.

On the day that your mentality

catches up with your biology

I want the one I can't have

and it's driving me mad

it's written all over my face

- I Want The One I Can't Have, The Smiths

In the kitchen Light glanced at his watch and noticed that it was 5am. The rest of the task force wouldn't arrive until at least 6:30am.

"Light-kun, please sit down."

Light dropped into the chair as if shot.

"I was wondering if we could run over my file on Naomi Misora this morning?"

Run over it? Like, in a car? Oh, right.

"That'd be wonderful, Ryuzaki. If you don't mind. I know how protective you are of your files but I look forward to seeing one, just out of interest."

"To investigate how I work?"

"Yes. Not for anything sinister. It's just, y'know, because I want to be a detective with the NPA one day and you're 'the greatest detective' after all!" he laughed awkwardly while wishing that someone would put him out of his misery.

"Good. I write a lot of case notes out short-hand. Bad habit. Watari has, however scanned the files into the computer so I can either transfer the notes to your computer or you can view the originals if you'd prefer?" L said, sipping his sugar-laden coffee slowly.

Light suddenly had the feeling that he'd been thrown into a very important job interview. He imagined that it was a mix between an interview at McDonalds and an interrogation at the hands of the Spanish Inquisition.

"I don't mind really," he said, talking a gulp of coffee which he narrowly avoided pouring down himself instead.

"You can discuss it with Watari," L said, standing and reaching over to pluck a strawberry off a still partially frozen cheesecake fresh from the freezer. Desperate times call for desperate measures – hence frozen cheesecake.

"Ok," Light said, taking another desperate gulp of coffee. His eyes roamed the lines of the linoleum floor tiles.

"Light-kun?"

"Yes?" Light said, looking up.

And then he was kissing him. It wasn't the barest of touches from the night before, it was one of those intense, whole-hearted affairs which required full attention and co-operation. L was standing above him, leaning down. Light was still seated and in a distant part of his brain he wished would shut the fuck up, felt rather ridiculous. But then he didn't really. Light lost control of his extremities and they seemed to be pretty redundant unless they were in contact with L anyway. His forgotten cup of coffee fell mournfully from a hooked finger - the noise of broken ceramic and the spatter of coffee upon the hem of his trousers didn't matter either.

A little time later, Light and L had manoeuvred themselves and their clawing, insistent limbs back to their bedroom and collapsed on the bed. It was quite a feat while desperately clinging to each other. Somehow Light's shirt had been lost along the way, except that it was being dragged along the floor by the chain.

"Um, Light...kun?" L managed out of the corner of his mouth between kisses. Light responded by crushing his mouth to L's even more fervently.

"Just shut up and kiss me," he breathed into L's mouth.

L pulled away unexpectedly and with some difficulty, leaving Light's eyes wide and slightly hazy. His lips were numbed and superfluous now, fixed in a loose pout.

"I would and I can but I must point out that if you brushed your teeth first it would make it much more pleasant for both of us. You taste of miso soup," L stated bluntly. Light just stared at him. He was right of course. As soon as it was mentioned he noticed the furry feeling across his teeth and it irritated him immensely. Still, he was damned if he was going to do anything L told him to do. He started it anyway. Light was perfectly happy drinking his coffee. Brush his teeth for fuck's sake? That's rich coming with someone who eats sugar in such quantities that his teeth should be literally throwing themselves out of his mouth in despair. Here be Dragons and absolutely no flossing.

"Fine. Where's my shirt?" Light said, feigning disinterest. He pushed L away and reached for a dressing gown on the chair.

"Your shirt? Lost at sea. We shall mourn its passing. T'was a nice shirt," L replied, gazing at the rag of of shirt being dragged behind Light.

"Why did you do that anyway?" Light asked petulantly, trying to force tense arms into a dressing gown and hoping to God that it wasn't inside out because his vision was vibrating slightly and he couldn't really take in such details.

"I wanted to try something."

"Try something?" Light asked, shocked and disgruntled, "Pffff, I should have known."

"That was not the effect I anticipated, Light-kun. This level of surliness, even for you is unprecedented."

"Well, at least it'll give you something to write in those damn case files of yours," Light spat. Then, mimicking L's monotonous drawl while removing his trousers, "Suspect easily offended. May point at superiority complex. Chances of being Kira increased by 0.79%."

"I'd say more like 1.2% actually," L corrected.

"Oh shut up, L. Just shut up." Light's voice was heavy with hostility. He felt a delayed ache of his hip from when, on their blind, meandering trip from the kitchen to the bed, L had steered him into the door frame.

Light had genuinely expected a retort from the detective and when nothing followed but an uneasy silence, he felt himself grow more incensed. He needed to be on his own for a while. To not feel eyes boring a hole into his back. On reflection, he and L had literally been bonded together by a chain for a long time now and, in very recent history, attached to each other's lips on and off for the past half an hour. He needed a serious break.

"I'm going for a shower. Unlock the cuffs," he said, tying the belt of his robe with an adamant tug.

"You know I can't do that Light-kun."

Light spun around to face L who was now sitting cross legged on the bed looking like Buddha fallen on hard times.

"Ryuzaki, what do you think I'm going to do in there? There's only so much you can do in a bathroom with no windows or air vents and no way of communication. I have nothing!" he stated dramatically throwing his arms to his side."You have taken everything from me. Even if I was Kira, do you really believe that I could kill criminals with nothing more than soap and a loofah? I want a shower and I want these cuffs off and I don't want you or anyone else watching me on any cameras. I just want to be left alone. Do you understand or is all that", he drew a disturbingly accurate outline of L's hair in the air, "blocking any information to your brain?"

"Light-kun is quite demanding," L observed.

"Light-kun knows his rights. Right now you have no proof. Nothing. Everyone knows that. In fact, everything points away from me being Kira. It's simply your stubbornness and inability to believe that you were wrong which has me chained to you like some animal. I mean, I don't have to remind you how illegal this is, do I? You have my consent right now. I want to prove my innocence to you and if this is the only way to do it then, fine, but I'll only take so much. Take off the cuffs," he stated emphatically, holding his wrist out towards L as if there was absolutely no alternative. L stared at the extended wrist for a moment.

"Is this just because I suggested that you should brush your teeth?" he asked.

"No, but it didn't endear you to me."

"I'd be surprised if anything was ever dear to Light-kun," L muttered.

"You really know nothing about me, Ryuzaki. Anyway, stop with the avoidance tactics and unlock the cuffs." He stomped forwards, practically pushing his wrist further towards L's face. L glanced between the appendage and Light's eyes. The look on his own face was unmoved and untroubled.

"Did you think that sexual foreplay would grant you certain privileges?" L said blankly.

"Right. WATARI-SAN!" Light shouted and suddenly marched towards to door, the suddenness taking L by surprise and dragging him off the bed and trailing behind him.

Light strode along corridors, calling for Watari as he went. It was pointless to ask L where the old gentlemen was because no one ever knew, and besides, L wouldn't tell him anyway since it clearly wouldn't be in his best interests. Watari just seemed to materialise like Bela Lugosi in a 30s horror film. He was presumedly in some limbo until called and only L had the means to do that. Light now walked emphatically towards L's main computer, still dragging the detective behind him who had failed to right himself in the distance between the rooms.

Stalking through the doors and into the HQ office went Light, wild haired and wearing a towelling dressing gown, closely dragging behind a bemused L. Matsuda and Soichiro had already arrived and Matsuda had already laid out the staple doughnut selection in the middle of the table and was eating something from a carton. A drip of egg dropped from Matsuda's chopsticks, missing his open mouth entirely and landing on an unfortunate spot right in the middle of his tie. Light had, by now, reached L's desk and pushed the empty plates, cups and sugar bowls away from the keyboard. After clearing the area - an unnecessary but telling gesture in itself, he started tapping into the computer. The beloved L screensaver popped up automatically. L had finally managed to stand and stared for a moment, unsure of what action to take. When he saw that Light had, with apparent ease, managed to hack his password, he lurched forwards.

"Light-kun, I warn you..."

"Watari-san, this is Yagami Light. Please bring the keys to our handcuffs. Watari-san?" Light spoke into the microphone on the desk.

"Light-kun must realise that in the time he's taken for this little strop, he could have had his shower by now."

"Light, what's wrong?" asked Sochiro.

"Nothing, Dad. Don't worry about it," he replied, his tone of voice reverting with remarkable ease to that of the dutiful and unflustered son. "Watari-san!" He called back in into the microphone.

The doors of the headquarters slid open and Watari entered. Light paced over to meet him.

"Yes, sir?" Watari said, his demeanour the epitome of Zen enlightenment

"Watari-san, please could you unlock this? I would like to shower," Light said as calmly as possible, holding out his shackled arm. Watari took in the request and automatically looked behind Light, towards L. Light felt a growing ball of fury within his chest. "Don't look at him! He's nothing to do with this," Light shouted, his face feeling stretched at the edges.

"I'm sorry, young sir but I cannot remove the cuffs without the consent of Ryuzaki." The old man did look deeply apologetic, bowing deeply as he delivered the blow.

"His consent?" The rage inside was so close to the surface that he could feel his hand shake with boiling blood. He spun around and promptly pushed his fist into Ryuzaki's face, the force of which sent him plummeting to the floor. "You bastard," Light said, simply, breathing heavily. Watching Ryuzaki gingerly touch his nose and cheek whilst righting himself into a characteristic crouching position. Empty black eyes turned towards him as his hand started to rub the offended cheek which was already coloured with the coming bruise.

"Light-kun, I believe I have been very patient with you. You understood the requirements of your release. It was discussed, in length, and you agreed with the restrictions. Observation is necessary at all times and you cannot suddenly throw a tantrum and demand your release, no matter what for or for however short a time."

"Release? This is no release! I might as well be back in that cell strapped up like some lunatic. At least then I didn't have to look at your ridiculous face every second of the day."

"Light!" Sochiro cut through. "That is enough."

On hearing his father's voice Light suddenly had a view of what this must look like. He wasn't his calm and collected self, he was acting like a madman. Perhaps he was a madman. In a towelling dressing gown.

"I'm sorry, Dad, but I..." he trailed off. Defeated and humiliated, Light relented. "I apologise for my behaviour, Ryuzaki," he said softly and held his hand out towards the crumpled figure below. But, instead of the gracious acceptance he expected, Ryuzaki grabbed the proffered arm and yanked Light to the ground, his face impacting hard into the floor. Blood instantly streamed from his nose and his eyes filled with tears as if the whole top section of his head was about to explode.

"And now, I think we're even," Ryuzaki stated cheerfully, rising upright and proceeded to manhandle Light to his feet who was too stunned to react.

"Thank you gentlemen. Sorry to have interrupted you. Please, carry on. Meeting in an hour, yes? Oh, and Watari, could you please bring some ice packs and definitely tea and some of those doughnuts to my room? Would you like some tea and doughnuts Light-kun? Hmmm? I'll take that as a yes as I'm sure you won't mind me having them if you decide against them. Yes, tea and doughnuts for two please, Watari. Thank you. We'll be back shortly."

And with that, holding Light up under his arms as Light himself was occupied with stemming the flow of blood from his nose, the two bruised looking figures returned to their room.