He woke, bolting upright, to her screams echoing in his head again. Charlie peered around wildly, disoriented, but soon he realized where he was. He was safe at the caves, unlike Claire. Painful stabs shot through him. The memories of the abduction had returned with a vengeance. For a week, all he felt was the guilt of failing to protect Claire. Then the nightmares started.

The first nightmare was only sounds and distance voices, but after that, he could see the attack and hear every word that was spoken clearly. He found it no use in telling the others what had happened. It wouldn't help in finding Claire. Everyone had guessed why Ethan wanted her. The baby, it had to be for the baby. Poor, sweet Claire - he'd hear them say. And, yet, no one was really doing anything about it. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't throw it in their faces. He was just as guilty of not searching for her as anyone else there.

"Charlie, it's okay" Jack said, kneeling beside him and gripping his shoulder. "It was only a dream. You're safe"

He turned to Jack, eyes distant and heart pounding. "But Claire isn't"

"Come sit with me, Charlie" Rose called from her sleeping palette near a tree. Every night he'd go to her, and she welcomed him with open arms. She'd hold his hand and pray. Being raised in the Catholic Church, he believed there was a God. He took it seriously in front of respectable people, but secretly, he gave in to his heart's dirty desires. Looking at it now, it made him feel even guiltier. But, hearing Rose's prayers every night filled him with something. He couldn't tell exactly what it was, but it was a burning in his chest he'd never felt before and it made him turn his eyes upwards instead of down.

Then there was the bag - Claire's duffle. It stared him down every time he passed by it. No one dared touch it. It was unsaid, but everyone reckoned that if anyone touched it, Charlie would go ballistic. He would have, and he wouldn't be afraid to admit it. That duffle was Claire's, the only thing he had left of her. It stared him down, and that night after the eighth nightmare, he had to open.

Falling on his knees, he carefully unzipped the top. The first thing he found was the beige bucket hat. Thus, my hat - Claire had proclaimed when he was trying to convince her to move to the caves. He had smiled, thinking she looked cute wearing it. The second thing Charlie pulled out threw his world spinning - Claire's diary.

He ran a thumb over the cover. Diaries were supposed to be private, but he wanted to look. No, he needed to look in it. He opened to the first page to see where it started.

September 18, 2004 I've been bad. I hadn't kept a journal since Thomas left me. That's when I needed to the most! I decided yesterday I'd start again. I'm eight months along. It's so weird to think that my baby will come soon. The psychic I went to keeps calling me and telling me he has a plan to help. I don't know what to do! I'm so confused! I feel like breaking something…like ripping up every painting Thomas ever did. That would make me feel better, but it won't help.

September 21, 2004 Tomorrow I'm leaving on a plane for Los Angeles in Amercia. He told me there's a family wanting to adopt my baby, but I need to leave tomorrow or something bad will happen. I'm going, only for my baby's sake.

September 24, 2004 I can't believe I'm even writing this. The plane I was on heading for Los Angeles crashed on a deserted island! Sounds totally insane, but it's true. The number of survivors is unbelievable considering how the plane went down. What I can't believe is that I'm still alive and unhurt. I'm really worried about my baby. It hasn't moved since an explosion knocked me to the ground. I'm sitting here on the beach on a seat from the plane. It feels like a dream. Maybe it is.

Later… My baby kicked! He's all right! I know he is! Yes, I can feel it's a 'he'. It just came to me after the kick. It was so cute. The Asian man who doesn't speak English had offered me some seafood he caught. Without thinking, I grabbed his hand and made him feel the kicking. He backed away bowing and hurried off. I hope I didn't scare him too badly!

September 30, 2004 At least I think that is how long we have been here. The days are starting to blur, especially after yesterday. I fainted on the beach. The doctor (his name being Jack) wasn't around so this girl I've talked to a few times named Kate(or Cate, not sure) took care of me. When she asked for some water to give me, turns out all the water has been stolen. Figures. I slept for who knows how long after that.

When I woke up, he was there at my side. His name is Charlie, and it seems whenever I'm in need of help, he's there.

Charlie paused. This was the first mention of him in the dairy. He hadn't even thought of her talking about him, but there it was looking back at him. He clenched his fist and went on.

It's hard to describe him. He's British, for one thing. Kind of twitchy and bumbles sometimes, but that only makes him seem cuter. He helped me carry my bag a few days ago on the beach. That same day I kept catching him looking at me while I let the waves wash over me. I found out he was the first person at my side when I fainted, and would have carried me by himself if I wasn't so heavy with this gigantic boulder in front of me. He found water somewhere in the camp, and brought it to me. We talked for a long time. I'm so thankful to him, because he looked me in the eye. No one has been able to do that here. He looked me in the eye and said he wasn't scared of him and I believe him. He skipped to the last page.

First week of October 2004 I'm not sure what day it is, but I definitely know it's October. I don't think I've been this frightened since the plane went down. Someone attacked me last night, and tried sticking a needle in my belly. Whoever it was didn't succeed. I screamed my bloody lungs out (listen to me, I'm starting to sound like Charlie). I don't feel safe even with Charlie watching over me all night. He tries his best though…oh, speak of the lil' devil.

Charlie almost laughed through his tears.

Little later… I think I understand Charlie's motives. He's trying to rescue a damsel in distress, and I don't want to be the damsel. He said he liked me. I hope he truly does. I admit I like him too, but I can't go there. Everything around me is confusing and I don't know what to do. Nothing has really changed from before leaving Australia! My baby will come in the next couple weeks. If it were a boy, I would have named him after Thomas. Of course, that was before he left me. I wasn't planning on it, but I've been giving it a lot of thought ever since Charlie started his taking care of me. I'm going to name my baby - Charles. Not after one man but two. Daddy would be proud to have his only grandson named after him. I miss Daddy terribly. I can't believe it's been four years since he died. I wonder what Charlie will think when I tell him what I want to name my baby. I need to get back to the caves.

One more thing: Still on the bloody island. Swallowed a bug today. Love, Claire

The next page was blank. Only an hour after she had written that, Ethan had taken her. The diary slipped from Charlie's grasp landing atop the duffle. She was going to name the baby after him and her father. They shared the same name. Why hadn't she mentioned it to him?

She liked him too. He wasn't a joke to her, and she didn't think he was useless. Even if she didn't want to be the damsel in distress, she appreciated him taking care of her. Charlie hung his head, wiping tears from his eyes with the heel of his hands. In his nightmares, he had yelled to Claire that he loved her. The thought sent shivers up his spine. He believed that he really said it, but was it out of panic or did he mean it? Every time he replayed that moment in his head, he felt the burning in his chest and knew he really meant it.

That was the last straw. Charlie raised up - like a phoenix out of the ashes, extreme anger welling up from the pit of his stomach. It was nearly dawn. People would start to wake soon. He had to move fast. He quietly strode to Locke's case of knives, lifting the lid. Charlie jumped a foot when a hand clamped down on his shoulder. He spun around, eyes wide and blazing.

"Calm down, son," said Locke, holding a hand up in peace. "What are you up to"

"I need the biggest knife you got," Charlie replied, dangerously. "May I ask what for?" Locke questioned, casually.

"I'm going to find Claire"

There was a pause then Locke moved to his case and pulled out a two-foot knife, and handed it to Charlie. "I wondered when you were going out there." He watched as Charlie pulled the knife's sheath through his belt. He caught Charlie's eye.

"You're the only one who can find her"

Charlie stilled, holding the older man's gaze for several moments. "I know"

"I'll come with you, if you want me to"

"I need to go alone"

Locke nodded. "You'll find her, Charlie"

"Or I'll die trying." With that, he turned and disappeared into the darkness of the jungle.