Thank you all so much for your comments. I'm so glad that you are liking this! Here is part 2 :)
"So, as a whole, how has this past few weeks been for you?" Dr. Collins asked Sam as she sat across from him. It had been 2 weeks since Sam's accident and she started seeing him every day. The meds she had been taking worked magic for her since she started taking them. She hadn't had a hallucination or dizzy spell since she came home from the hospital. But it helped a lot that both Brad and Lucas had used some vacation time to help her out. They both took the last two weeks off to help her while she recovered from her fall. Her ribs were healing nicely. She still had her wrist brace on but she was able to take it off once in a while. Physically she was doing great. And as much as her PTSD was under control, she was still having issues.
"I have been better than I have been. But it is still a struggle." She admitted. She knew she had to be honest if she wanted to get better. No more lying.
"What is the main thing you think you are struggling with?" he asked.
Sam took a deep breath as she felt her throat go tight "I miss my husband. I miss the family nights that we had." She said.
"Have you talked to Jason since the accident?" Dr. Collins asked.
She shook her head "He comes by to see Scout when I have my appointment here. I text Lucas when I'm on my way back so he can leave." She said. She shook her head at how heartless she was. But she didn't know who else to be right now. She needed knew she always need time away from him to decide if their marriage was something she wanted to work on. She was really tired of him always saying one thig and then doing another. She thought that their time apart would have made him realize that if they were going to work, he needed different priorities. But apparently, nothing had changed. And in a way, it was getting worse. Danny had stated to notice that when he talked to his mom and dad, they were never together. She felt horrible for lying to her son but she didn't wat to ruin his fun. A part of her hoped to have this resolved by the time he got home but another sinking part of her wondered if it even could be resolved. She wanted it to be but she wasn't settling for less. Not anymore.
"Have you thought about marriage counseling?" he asked.
"A little. But Jason doesn't really believe in this stuff. For other people, yeah but not for him." she answered.
Dr. Collins nodded his head and said "That is his right but if you will never know unless you ask him."
"I don't know if I am strong enough to do that yet." She said in a small voice.
He smiled nicely at her and said "I think we both know that you are. The real question is if you want to?"
Sam sighed looking towards the wall.
"Sam, every session you have had has helped you overcome a lot. I have never had a patient accomplish as much as you have I just one week. Your determination to get better is fueled by your kids. But is that all it's fueled by?" he asks.
Sam thought about his words for a second. Was it? Was she ready to give up on her marriage after everything that she and Jason had been through?
Jason sat on the couch in the living room of the penthouse. It was so damn quiet. He wasn't used to the place being quiet. He hated the silence that met him every time he walked through the door. He hadn't been able to sleep at all since Sam had left. Every time he tried, he always dreamt of her and the look on her face when she told him she wasn't safe with him anymore. He closed his eyes and sighed at the pain that went through him. He went and saw Scout every day while Sam was at her appointment with Dr. Collins. The part that killed him the most was when he had to leave. It hurt like hell walking out the door and leaving both Scout and Sam behind but he knew he deserved it. He knew Sam wasn't doing this to hurt him, he was the one that had done the hurting. Scout needed her mom more that she needed her dad but it didn't mean it wasn't hard as hell to leave every time.
He tried every day to ask about Sam but Lucas wasn't budging. He had softened a little but not much. He was still upset with Jason for the hurt he had caused his sister and Jason understood that. He had been in that position before. But it was driving him crazy that he didn't know how Sam was doing with everything. He had no clue if she was better or worse. Were her meds helping her? Was she getting enough sleep now?
Jason laid his head in his hands. Why did he always do this? Why did he always realize things too late? And he didn't know if Sam was going to give him another chance. But he wasn't going to let that stop him from doing everything he could to get one. He wasn't letting Sam go without one hell of a fight. And he knew of a way to make this all better. He just hoped like hell Sam would let him.
A knock at the door pulled him from his thoughts and he went to answer the door. "Hey." Sonny said. "Hey." Jason retorted as he moved to let him in. "Have you heard from her yet?" Sonny asked.
Jason shook his head "No. I just got back about an hour ago from visiting Scout."
"Have you tried calling her?" he asked.
Jason shook his head "I don't want to push her further away. She asked for time and I need to give her that no matter how much it kills me." He walked back over to the couch and sat down. He put his head in his hands and sighed.
"Jason, the only way you guys are going to get over this is if you talk to each other. Making excuses is going to help." Sonny told his friend.
"Sam is on the edge, Sonny. If do or say something wrong then I will lose her and I can't do that. I won't survive it this time." Jason got up from the couch and walked around it "Little by little everything is coming back to me. When I first got my memory back pieces were missing. Over the past year I remember everything that happened the summer Sam and I split up for good. I remember how she spiraled out of control all because of me and what I did to her. It hurt like hell watching that. It hurt even worse when I realized it was really over between us and I had lost the best thing that had ever happened to me. Look at everything that happened after Sam and I broke up." he looked to Sonny "My life became a living hell. I lost Emily. My mom didn't want anything to do with me and she became an alcoholic. Michael was shot. I had to take over the business and thing between you, Carly and myself were more screwed up then they had ever been. I kept justifying making stupid choices that only led to more problems. After Kate was shot, it became more than clear to me why my life was so messed up. Sam was everything to me. She was the one I talked to when it got to be too much. She was the one that gave me a reason to live when we thought Michael was dead. She was never afraid to call me on my bullshit. For the first time in my life I had someone that I didn't have to hide a part of myself from. Sam is the only woman that has ever accepted me for who I really am. She never made me feel like a cold-blooded killer. And when I lost her, I lost all reason. I convinced myself that Liz and Jake were enough but no one and nothing will ever come close to what my life is with Sam. There is no life for me without her. And because I once again made a stupid mistake, I may have lost her for good."
Sonny stood from the couch and walked over to him "I above anyone knows what it is like to lose the one thing that seems like it keeps you sane. Without Carly in my life I do the stupidest things. It took me years to figure out what you just did. Do not waste time like Carly and I did just because you think Sam won't give you another chance. The only way you are going to get your life back is if you fight like hell for it."
Sam sat on the park bench with Scout in her stroller next to her. She was asleep but if was such a nice day, Sam really wanted to get her and her daughter some fresh air. When she got back from her session with Dr. Collins, she talked to both Lucas and Brad about it. A part of her did it because she knew Lucas wouldn't want Sam to entertain the idea of trying to work things out with Jason. But she got a real shock when they both told her she should maybe think about it. Lucas was still upset with Jason but he knew how much Jason and Sam loved each other. He reminded her that a marriage is work. It isn't easy at times and it can be downright difficult. But it was the hard times that made a marriage worth having.
Sam looked down at her little girl and her mind went to Danny and Jake. They had waited so long for the family they had now. They had been so blessed to have this when there was a time she didn't think they ever would. She closed her eyes and sighed. Since starting her sessions with Dr. Collins, she was face with the question of if she was pushing Jason away because of what happened or if she was afraid of losing him again. Yes, she was upset that Jason had left the way he did but she shouldn't be running from him. She never ran from him. But she was so afraid of him wanting to go back to work for Sonny. She never had this fear before. She always accepted his choice but when she realized he wasn't as invincible as she always thought he was, things were different. But she had never let fear drive her life before so why was she starting now?
"Sam?"
She looked over and saw Carly standing there. She had not seen her in a while. Sam knew she knew what was going on by the soft hesitant look Carly was giving her. She smiled at the once bane of her existence turned friend. "Hey" Sam said. Carly walked closer and her eyes went to Scout. She bent down and softly ran her fingers over the baby's head and smiled. She stood back up and looked over to Sam "How…how are you doing?" she asked. Sam took a deep breath and said "Better. It gets easier every day but it is still a challenge. I know it's going to take some time."
There was a small silence before Carly rushed "Listen Sam, I'm sorry if what happened with Sonny and I…"
Sam shook her head and stopped her "I'm not mad at you or Sonny. This is not your fault. You didn't ask Jason to drop everything and run to your rescue. He did that all on his own." Sam sighed and ran her fingers through her hair "And to be honest, I'm not even sure I'm that made at Jason for that either."
Carly narrowed her eyes in confusion and then walked over and sat beside Sam on the bench "Alright. Talk to me. What is going on? What happened?"
"Don't get me wrong. I am plenty upset at him for it. He should have handled it better. But I think if that was really the problem I would have just booted him to the couch for a while. I more afraid that our life together now isn't enough for him." she said.
"What are you talking about? The life you have now is all Jason has ever dreamed of." Carly assured her.
"Is it? You know as well as I do that Jason thrived on being an adrenaline junkie. I did too that was why we worked so well. But things are different now. We have kinds and I thought Jason felt the same way but what if he misses his old life? What if we aren't enough for him? I lost him for two years and the only reason I survived was because of Danny. But I don't think I could survive losing him again." Sam said, looking at her daughter.
"Sam, it wasn't the danger you both craved that kept you together. It was the love you have for each other. Jason is not the same person anymore. You and the kids give him everything he needs to feel that rush. He made a stupid choice and he should have handled it better than he did but you shouldn't walk away from 13 years of love because of one stupid mistake. Jason has no desire to go back and work for Sonny and you know that. You are letting your fear of losing him again get in the way of living the life you and Jason have always wanted. Trust me, I know what that feels like. In the end, it isn't worth it. You know mine and Sonny's history. Look at all the time we waisted. If we had just talked to each other and laid it all out we would have saved each other a lot of heartbreak." Carly reached over and grabbed her hand "You and Jason have been through too much. You have fought like hell to get each other back. Don't lose him now just because you afraid you might lose him later. You never gave up on him when you thought he was gone, don't do it now."
Sam swiped at her cheeks as she felt the tears fall. She was so torn but she knew what Carly was saying was true. You can't live your life in fear. She knew that. She just didn't know how to let it go.
Jason sat at the kitchen table looking down at his phone. He was never one to take pictures but since Scout's birth, he couldn't seem to go a day without snapping a few. Especially when Sam was holding her. His wife was the most beautiful woman in the world but seeing her hold their daughter, something he had dreamed about when she was pregnant with Lila, was amazing. He shook his head and closed his eyes. This could not be the end for them. he wasn't going to let it. No matter what it took, no matter how long it took he wasn't giving up on her or them.
Jake was worried. Since his accident, he had come to love Sam and she was a permanent fixture in his life. He hadn't seen Sam in over a week and even though he was just a kid he still knew something was wrong. Jason had to tell him that he and Sam were just living apart for a while. He didn't understand. All he knew was that the woman who had become a second mother to him wasn't around like she used to be. He kept asking when she was coming home and he didn't know what to tell him.
Danny would be coming home soon and he was dreading having to tell his son what was going on. Danny had been through so much in his life. He didn't want Danny to ever go through what Sonny and Carly's kids did because their parents couldn't work things out. He couldn't let that happen to Danny and Scout.
He sighed and got up from the table. After Sonny let Jason had decided to take his advice and try and talk to Sam. But he knew how stubborn his wife was. He knew that when she dug her heels in about something it was near impossible to get her to change her mind. But he also knew that she loved him. Same loved him more that anyone ever had. He needed to remind her of that. He just hoped like hell that she would give him the chance to do it.
He put his phone back in his pocket a second before he heard the click of the front door open and close. His could hear his heart beat in his ears. He moved to the entry way of the kitchen and stopped dead. Sam was setting her keys on the desk and her eyes moved to the couch. He hadn't seen her in 2 weeks and that was the longest he had gone without seeing her since he had come home. Even before he knew he was Jason Morgan. She looked better that the last time he had seen her. She didn't have the dark circles under her eyes. She was so skinny the last time he saw her but it looked like she had gained more weight. The bandage above her eye was gone and it looked like her cut had healed.
She must have saw him out of the corner of her eye because her head turned to him. His saw her beautiful face for the first time in over two weeks and his heart felt ready to burst. But the guarded look on her face hurt. Almost as if she were afraid. She turned to face him and took a step closer to him. He watched her square she shoulders and take a deep breath "We need to talk."
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