I knew it was him before I fully emerged from my slumber.

I could feel his large, masculine, warm hands holding my cold, fragile ones, rubbing small circles in my palms. It was soothing and I was almost tempted to go back to sleep, but I couldn't, I had to speak to him. I slowly opened my eyes; the contrast between the darkness of death and the brightness of life was almost too great. Okay, that was me being melodramatic, but come on I think I deserve to be sometimes.

Seriously, the difference between the dark and light took a while to get used to, but when I did he was the first thing I saw, and I don't think I would have had it any other way. He was sitting on a chair really close to by bed he was slouching and his head was bowed. He was muttering softly to himself and I'm pretty sure that him rubbing my hand was subconscious. After a few minutes I decided that I had gathered enough strength, physically, mentally and emotionally to go through the conversation that was inevitably going to happen.

'Zach…' my throat was dry because I hadn't drank any type of liquid in 31 days 21 hours and 43 minutes, it caused me a lot of agony to speak but I knew I needed to. For him. For me. My voice was hoarse and it barely came out as a whisper, but he heard me and instinctively looked up, looked at me and I can safely say that was an image I don't ever want to see. His eyes…oh his eyes had changed so much. His emerald eyes, once sparkling, full of mystery, intrigue, confidence were broken. His eyes were blood-shot, from no sleep or crying I don't think it would have been possible to tell. The eyes that I had spent so long trying to decipher and look through to see him were gone, the walls were gone. All legends were put aside, this time I could actually see who Zachary Goode really was. The sparkle had left and was replaced with hurt, bitterness, internal conflict, blame, fear. The agony that he was going through, because of me, was so visible in his eyes that I couldn't look at him anymore and I had to physically look away. Being a typical Zach, being my typical Zach, he thought that it was because I couldn't stand the sight of him. Which was semi-correct, I couldn't stand the sight of him broken and vulnerable because of me, in fact I don't think I could ever stand the sight of Zach like that. He's just too Zach-like to be like that.

'Sorry Cammie…I'll go.' With that simple statement he dropped my hand (which fell limply to my side) looked deeply at me one more time, and walked away. While this was happening (and I would swear it happened in slow - motion) all I could think of was 'not Gallagher Girl, Cammie', this was serious.

'Zach…stay.' He had reached the doorway by now and I had to use all the strength I could muster to make my voice loud enough to be heard by him. I prayed that he would hear me and not walk out the door…not walk out of my life. He stopped and turned around to face me. This time, instead of fear, guilt and despair there was hope. He walked towards me really fast and leaned down to…do something, I'm not sure whether it was to kiss me or hug me. He was really close before he paused and decided to sit down.

'Gallagher Girl' he said, a smile – not a smirk – illuminated his face, and I don't think I had ever seen him so handsome, not hot, handsome. I attempted to get up but the stabbing pain in my side prevented my from making progress. Moaning at the pain that was caused I gently lowered myself down. I looked at Zach expectantly, but he just looked back innocently. After a while I couldn't handle it.

'Well?'

'Ohh' he said smirking. Irritating smirk 'Does Gallagher girl need help getting up.'

'I could just attempt getting up myself.' I threatened. His smirk dropped and instantly his arms were around my waist, holding my back and lifting me up to a sitting position. 'Thanks' I whispered, I hadn't had anything to drink and that my throat was getting increasingly sore. I eyed the cup of water on a table next to me and without needing to say a word Zach had gotten it and handed it to me.

'Here you go.' He whispered, unwilling to break the tranquil moment that was happening. I drank thirstily emptying the content of the cup (which I can guarantee was water) while he stared at me with an amused expression on his face.

'Thanks' I replied handing him the cup and watched him put it back on the table. I felt a drip of water trickle down from my lip towards my chin. I moved to wipe it away but Zach stopped me from reaching it.

'Allow me.' He said huskily, slowly reaching towards my face. I know I probably should have stopped him because even though I was shot, was in hospital for a month I was not completely useless. I should have stopped him, but I didn't. All I could do is gaze into those emerald eyes and lose myself; all I could do is think about how they have changed since I first woke up, the intensity that was held in his eyes had increased and as much as it pained me I couldn't look away. Those eyes had way too much control over me, but I didn't care, I wanted it to. His hand finally reached my face and a finger gently wiped the drip of water from my chin up to my lip and then it gently traced the outline of my bottom lip. The water was gone but he didn't remove his hand away, in fact he moved it away from my lip and tenderly stroked the right side of my face. You would be able to hear a pin drop because of the silence in the room. I slowly lifted my hand up and held the one caressed my face.

'Zach…' was all I was able to say. There were so many things that I wanted to ask him but I couldn't think of them in that moment, all I could think of was him. But that was all that was needed to break the ice. His eyes flashed with an emotion and before I know it he had swept me into a hug, but it wasn't just a normal hug, you could feel all the emotions he had bottled up from he past month, but yet he hugged me as if I was a fragile porcelain doll that could break. He softly stroked my hair and constantly whispered my name into my ear, his hot breath sent tingles down my spine as a continued to listen to his soothing voice. After a few minutes I let my mind wander to the last time we were this close, the last time we met. I could feel tears slowly build up as my emotional barriers that I had placed came tumbling down.

…

I heard the click of the gun and I knew it was too late (9 seconds.) I smile weakly knowing that this would be my final breath, but then I hear a gunshot whiz pass my ear, extremely close to Solomon.

'What on earth Zach, you could have shot me. Not only that you missed her.'

'If I wanted to shoot you I could have. No I thought of something better than this.' He walked away from my behind and came closer to the front of me (6…5…4…) He leaned in to my ear and whispered something softly. 'If you are gonna die, I want o be the last thing you see.' His breath was hot and I could feel it on my ears, I could also feel the hurt of what he was saying.

…

I had wanted to kill him that day, but now I don't think I would be able to live without him. I don't care if Macey McHenry thinks it's because I like him or if my mother thinks it's because 'you usually develop a deep emotional connection when someone saves your life' all I care about is the future. And Zach. Who is currently noticing that I am crying. Crap.

'Cammie what's wrong?' He adjusted himself so that he could look into my eyes with his, so full of concern, so expecting an answer.

'Why?'

It was the only word I could utter but he understood what I meant. So many questions were rushing through my head, so many loose ends, so many confusions and for a spy that's bad. When it is relating to a guy, it's worse. But his face relaxed and he sighed deeply, he closed his eyes- almost as if he was contemplating whether what he was going to say next should be said. But he decided to anyways.

'It might take a while.' Those words were like music to my ears, for the first time in a long time I would know what was really going on, but more importantly I would know the truth. And it was going to set me free. For the first time in a long time I smiled. For the first time in a long time I was genuinely happy.

'I have the time.' I attempted to shuffle over to the right side of the hospital's bed rather pathetically, and judging from Zach's expression I looked more pathetic than I thought. The tears had left and I patted where I had moved over, after a few seconds of hesitation he moved and sat up on the bed, while semi lying down. He unconsciously wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer. However, there was no pain, I felt normal, I felt like there was nothing wrong with the world. He leaned his head on the wall behind him, closed his eyes, took a deep breath and continued.

'What do you want to know'?

'Everything.'

'Okay, well the square root of 169 is 13, E = mc2 the first man that walked on the moon was during the Second World War,' he leaned in conspiracy – like 'it was a Blackthorne Boy.' I let a muffled laugh out and lightly slapped him on the chest.

'Firstly, that was not what I meant and secondly, it was a Gallagher Girl that walked on the moon first, the "Blackthorne" theory has never been proved, and never will be.' He was wearing his infamous smirk while looking down on me.

'Fine, ask the question and I'll answer it.' Zach took a deep breath; this was the moment I was waiting for for 3 years.

'Did you always know Solomon was evil?'

'Yes.'

'Then why were you working with him?'

'It was an undercover mission, because my father worked with the Circle of Cavan they decided that it would be much more easier to send me to infiltrate the organisation than to send a new operative family.' I was a little hurt at that comment, in a softer voice I continued.

'If you were undercover, why didn't you tell me?' A soft sarcastic laugh left his lips.

'Cammie, you're the person I was trying to protect. If they ever caught you, which they wouldn't, you and so many others would be endangered for more than one reason, because of your father and because of me. I would never be able to live with myself knowing that the Circle was torturing you for information that I told you. It would have been my decision, it would have been my fault.'

'Did you honestly believe I would tell?'

'No.' The surprise was visible in his voice, 'but knowing that information would give them more of a reason to put you through pain, not death, but pain. And because I was "working" for them in relation to your case I would have had to be there watching you go through that, and I would have looked like I enjoyed it.' I could feel the shudder that went through Zach's spine 'I would have never been able to accomplish the mission if that were to happen.'

'Does that mean you weren't going to kill me?'

'What? Of course I was not going to kill you, in fact I had it all planned out. I was going to do what I had originally done, but then I was going to say that I wasn't that 'mature' to kill someone face on so I would go back to my original position, behind you. Then I would shoot Solomon and beat up Preston. I'd have freed you and the plan to escape the building was relatively simple. I then would give Preston some amnesia potion that I stole from Dr Fibs during the exchange 3 1/2 years ago. I'd then ditch him on the side of the road and send an entire recording to the C.I.A and Gallagher.' He inserted a dramatic sigh 'and I would have HAD to give them Preston's location… after a month or so.' He smirked a little. 'Rather ingenious plan if I do say so myself. But then I saw the flashing bead on your nail and judging from the frequent amount of times all I knew is that I needed to by some time, which I did.'

'What if Solomon didn't give you the gun?'

'Oh, he was going to- we had already planned it out. Though, I still cant believe you thought I was related to that monster.'

It took a while for everything to sink in, but then a thought struck me.

'They were after my dad because he was on a mission to bring them to their doom, but why were they seeking to destroy me?'

'Someone is very dramatic, it's true, but it is still dramatised.' I slapped him lightly on his chest.

'Are you going to answer the question or what?'

'Fine, do you remember the lullabies your dad used to sing to you before you slept, and on the phone. Well, they were actually pieces of information relating to missions that he is going to be on, was currently undertaking or has already taken place. Solomon knew what these songs meant and he knew that any information that was relayed to you through the lullabies would be hard to destroy. All you would need to do is access those memories and the details of all the missions your father went on would be there. Solomon saw this as a threat and -' Zach stopped speaking and didn't continue so I looked up at him. His piercing green eyes were staring at me and his hand lifted up my chin and softly stroked my skin. His voice had now dropped to a whisper 'and so he wanted to kill you, no matter the cost.' The tension in the room was so thick you could cut it with a knife.

'Really, is that why?' I looked at him with wide eyes, hanging on to every word.

'Of course.'

'By the way what happen to Preston and Mr Solomon?' He laughed for a while before answering.

'A brutal and completely random bashing occurred roughly a month ago. The poor, unsuspecting victim was Preston Winters. That guy was so disfigured they put him in an induced coma, he should come out of it in about two months.'

'The real story?'

'You know Macey McHenry has a mean right hook. She bashed him up until there was nothing left. The induced coma is unnecessary, its just until his father is out of office, after that they can begin to interrogating and punishing him. And their methods are not exactly legal.'

'What about Solomon?'

'What about him?'

'What has happened to him since the incident?'

'Oh, he's a dead man.'

'What are the C.I.A going to do to him?'

'Nothing. He seriously is dead.'

'How did that happen, I mean he's Solomon, he's like indestructible.'

'Well, you see while most people are blinded by rage, my aim was probably improved by it. When he shot you I was so infuriated that I shot him in the heart, so both Mr Solomon and me were suffering heart pains, but he deserved it. No one is going to hurt you without me doing something.' The tension in the room had increased, I didn't mind the few minutes we stayed like this.

A short laugh escaped his mouth; the mood by now was shattered. 'You know, if I ever become a rogue agent and the C.I.A need me to be interrogated, I want to have you.'

'Hey!' I said, slightly offended 'I can be strict, harsh and act professional'

'Really, prove it.' I cleared my voice and then continued.

'Back to your dad, Solomon said 'do your father proud,' I am guessing he was implying your father is deceased and he said that your dad worked with the Circle of Cavan. What happened?' I felt Zach tense up at the mentioning of "dad" I felt bad for asking that question, I was mentally slapping myself out of all the questions to ask, let alone "harshly" ask, it just HAD to be that one. I was being an insensitive, indifferent jerk; it was all spoken professionally, like there were no emotions related. But there were and the guy I love was going to go through some tough ones. I don't think I had ever felt so low and after all the help Zach gave me with my dad I felt disgusting. 'You don't need to answer it if you-'

'No, you need to know the truth, even though that is not a why question but anyways. Yes, my dad is dead, and he has been for 11 years 4 months 18 days. He worked for the C.I.A like your dad but he was undercover. Your dad hunted on the top with Solomon while my dad infiltrated the Circle of Cavan. There was a mole in the C.I.A and it was my father's job to find out who it was, this mission had top-level security and only the chief knew about it. He worked his way up the ranks and was close to finding out who the mole was. That is when your dad was killed and that is when he knew who the traitor was: Solomon. My dad was following your father's case because that would give his some extra information required, but that is when he noticed it. The lead that your father received, the one that supposedly came from Rodriguez came from Solomon. My father was ringing the C.I.A to tell them that he was coming home after a successful mission when some newbie walked in. He heard chief being used and since nobody in the Circle of Cavan ladder is called chief he jumped to all the right conclusions. He pulled out a gun and shot my father, his aim was terrible though it hit him through the right side of the body even though he was less than 5 meters away. My dad instinctively whipped out his gun and shot him through the heart. The shot that went through him went through his lungs and he knew he had 3.65 minutes to live so he wrote down that the newbie was a double agent. He also wrote a C.I.A number, expiring that day, on a piece of paper, scrunched it up and placed it in the newbie's hand. He then walked a few metres and died. They never doubted his loyalty.' By the end of that I could see Zach's eyes glisten with tears. He sniffled once, looked at me and smiled. But you could see a small amount of sadness in his eyes, a sadness that only people who have lost a parent could go through. People like me. Then I probably did what every girlfriend would have done to her awesome boyfriend, I snuggled closer to him, looked him deep in the eye and whispered

'It's gonna be alright'

'Of course it is, I still have you.' Then I thought of something that I hadn't thought of before. I knew it wasn't true but there was a doubt still lingered, and the more I thought about it the stronger the thought came. I was having an internal war, figuratively speaking. Zach noticed my distress because then he looked at me and said 'what's wrong.' I couldn't lie; he's a spy (who would notice) and I am a girl (who probably couldn't handle the idea and needed to get it out in the open).

'Zach…' I started cautiously; he looked at me with a confused expression on his face (adorable face mind you) and so I decided it would be easier to just blurt it out. '…'I drifted off uncertainly his glaze intensified so I went on ''… because there is no real reason why a boy like you would choose a girl like me with so much baggage.' There was pure silence. I was looking down by this stage, half of me was embarrassed and the other half was expecting a sigh of relief because he didn't need to keep up the façade anymore. As the silence increased I started to lean towards the latter idea, which is why he was probably here, to make sure I was okay and to explain his cover. I was convincing myself that he never liked me to the point that I was going to say that I understood. I tried to speak, but no words could come out, the hurt was felt, even in the deepest part of my soul. I could feel the tears stinging at my eyes, I almost turned away but then I heard his deep voice…his deep voice filled with hurt, with pain.

'Is that what you really think Cammie, that I would pretend to like you because of a damn mission.' I started to look at his face the anguish distorted his face and I couldn't bear the sight of it. 'Cammie, you are one of the most amazing, talented, loving, passionate, fun-loving…gosh the list would go on for ages. I don't date girls when I am sixteen for a "mission"(*), I don't date girls because they are "hot," though that is an added bonus – in fact I don't date girls, I date GIRL as in you my Gallagher Girl. It has only been you and it will always be you, but if you can't see how much I care about you, maybe we shouldn't be together.'

I couldn't believe what I had heard; I could feel my breath getting caught in my throat, the tear came pouring down my face. That was the most beautiful thing I had heard, even though he did imply that we should break up. I sniffed and wondered how this boy could break down my walls without trying; he may have walls built, but he uses more strength trying to find the real me, trying to break down my walls then he does for building his own. With just one gaze into his eyes I could feel his passion, I could feel his sincerity. And I loved him for it. And I couldn't handle it. This love I had for him was driving me insane, the ardour, hunger, emotions he made me feel was not normal, but then – when does love ever feel normal. I had been dating him for three years and I don't know when this feeling came. I remember feeling it faintly when we first met and I brushed it aside, but the feeling grew stronger until I couldn't deny it any longer. I completely, irrevocably, undeniably loved Zachary Goode. And I still hadn't told him. I built up walls, telling myself I am just being foolish, that I am too young, that he doesn't feel the same way. But looking him in the eyes, feeling the message they were conveying to me, those ways came tumbling down. The feelings were stronger; the eagerness of wanting to know that he loved me back was physically causing me pain. I looked away; feeling quite light headed and whispered the words that had been weighing on my heart for so long.

'I love you.'

Silence. Pure silence.

The kind where you could hear a pin drop, well for a spy you should always be able to hear a pin drop, but that was beside the point. There was no movement, no speaking and I was there, leaning against him mentally kicking myself. Stupid Cammie, you said those words to fast in a relationship, he said he CARED about you not that he loved you. You are such an idiot, after all that has been happening the past month, you guys became closer, but now you killed it. You are such. A. Damn. Idiot. I debated looking at him and laughing saying I was joking, but the words got stuck in my throat. After what felt like eternity I built up the courage to look up, and before I could fully comprehend what was happening I felt a pair of warm lips pressing against my own. It wasn't forceful or aggressive, but it was still able to let me feel the passion that was building up inside Zach, passion I didn't know he had and I am pretty sure he could say the same thing. I could feel myself getting lost in his embrace, his arms wrapped around my waist pulling me closer than I ever thought possible while my arms went around his neck, enjoying the embrace. This warm feeling was exploding in me, we had been going out for three years but that was by far the best kiss I had ever felt, and that includes the time in Florida…After a few blissful minutes he began to pull away, from the kiss – I was still very much being held captive by my Zachary Goode. My heart, my soul. All of me.

He hadn't moved very far, his face was a few centimetres away from mine, his nose bumped against mine and when he spoke a could feel his hot breath – not that I minded. I am certain that he could feel the shivers that went down my spine when he moved his nose and it hit mine, my pulse rise every time he spoke.

'Really' was the only thing he uttered.

'Of course.'

'Good. Because I love you too.' I lightly kissed him before regretfully pulling away. The smile on his face was different from all the others, it was not a happy – go – lucky smile, but one that one that comes from the depth of your soul, one that doesn't require happiness – it requires pure unadulterated joy, and I am sure his expression replicated mine. I didn't want to respond to that, I just wanted to bask in the happiness radiating from the both of us; it warmed me to the core. But the questions weren't done yet; there was still one more.

'Hey Zach.'

'The questions are still going?'

'This is the last one I swear.' He exaggerated a sigh, causing a smile.

'Fine.'

'How did a girl like me end up with a guy like you, like seriously, you're perfect.' I said that in a teasing voice, but his response was so…meaningful.

'I am not perfect Cammie, I can't cook a decent, breakfast, I have an obsession with anything related to Manchester United, I have a tendency to eat Chinese on Fridays and I sing in the shower.' I chuckled quietly and he stuck his tongue out at me. 'I am definitely not perfect, but with you I am complete. Everything in my life is perfect, but that is only because you are in it, you complete me Gallagher Girl.' I blushed and smiled together. Only Zach has the ability to make everything about me seem special, even though I know its not. Which brings me to the belief that he is perfect. For me. I leaned closer, kissed him lightly on the neck (the only part of his body that I could comfortably kiss) and snuggled closer, and I didn't even think I could get any closer. I then decided to bring up the topic I thought of when I woke up.

'You are a dead man you know that?'(This was more of a statement than a question). Zach laughed and absentmindedly started playing with the tips of my hair.

'Why would you say that?'

'Mum, Macey, Liz, Bex and the rest of Gallagher are not going to appreciate not being told my whereabouts.'

'Sure they know.'

'Than why are they not here with me?'

'Why this sudden curiosity anyways, am I not enough?' He feigned sadness and had a little pout on his face.

'Yeah, of course you are' I could hear my voice soften, I could feel my heart melt and I was left to wonder how he had such a big impact on my emotions, on my life. 'I was just curious.'

'Your mother banned them from coming, something about them needing to build a strong emotion wall; anyways it's the winter break so they won't be allowed to see you until it is over. Your mum is currently being de briefed by the C.I.A on everything she knows about Solomon, so that will take a while.'

'Hmm, whatever.' I replied. He was really good; you could not tell he was lying.

'What, don't you believe me?'

'Oh sure,' I said offhandedly 'it is just that Bex, Macey and Liz have been known to break the rules more than once, especially if a friend's life is on the line. In fact they are known to break the rules just for fun, and my mother had to fill in that form when he was first employed with Gallagher.'

'Firstly, security here is really good and secondly, every piece of information relating to Solomon is vital. They are not going to let her go after months of interrogations. Trust me, they did that to me as well – but mine was a day by day thing.' I closed my eyes, letting him think he had won. The sun was coming through the window, implying that it was early in the morning (needless to say the window was reinforced and I already knew the time). Everything was beautiful in the world; I sat up and gazed around, looking through the window to the tree outside and the bird that flittered on it, singing its song. I looked at my boyfriend, amused by my child-like behaviour. I was enchanted by everything about him, his personality, the small dot on his left ear, his long lashes, his loving heart. I took a deep breath, sighed and just looked at him. I longed for the day when I could finally call him mine, not that I didn't already, but to know that deep down that no one else could take him away from me. I rested my head on the crook of his shoulder and whispered his name.

'Yeah Gallagher Girl,' was his reply, I felt my heart beat stronger at the use of that name, knowing that he reserved it for only me.

'Winter break started next week.'

…

LONGEST CHAPTER EVER! (for me anyways) and to think that I thought it was going to be small.

(*) That is how old they were when they met, so they started to date, well for the story anyway. This author's note totally killed the mood, so that is why it is down here.

I don't own Gallagher girls… I hate saying that, you get the general idea.

Dedicated to Natasha who will probably hate this and won't want to read it, I will have already forced you to read it against your will so stop complaining…yes it is me.

So, before my super big Author's note I want to say something, I noticed that my chapters have themes, the first one was dealing with the different parts of Cammie, the girl and the spy. This chapter is dealing with more her emotions, - yes, I also think she had major mood swings but that was to show the control Zach had over her. It also was supposed to focus on tying up loose endings and Zach's eyes (because they are awesome). Speaking of Zach's eyes are they brown or green. Because I swear in the book it is brown, but I liked green better for the story (if it is brown who ever wrote on fanfic. that it is green – you convinced a LOT of people).

Okay, I would like to thank everyone who reviewed this; your reviews touched my heart. I know I said that reviews make me type faster (they do) but it was hard to make this story perfect. I know it isn't but you reviews made me want to make it perfect… while failing epically (is that even a word?). To all the people who story alerted – I wouldn't mind a review (*wink, wink, nudge, nudge*)

I also blame school certificate trials and the fact that this was seriously a hectic term.

Shout out to 2goode4you who guessed what was going to happen, you suck…lollypops. Sorry I'm a little crazy right now; just want to spread the love (and the candy). You might have guessed that firstly I am not a guy so my guy speaking slightly sucks and secondly I am terrible at romance writing…something about being immature. So anyways…

REVIEW: if you have constructive criticism

REVIEW: if you disagree with my comment/s above.

REVIEW: if you read it.

REVIEW: if you hated it.

REVIEW: if you loved it.

REVIEW: for me.