The mattress moved and sirred me awake from not so sound sleep. Steven sat up and looked confussed that I was in his bed, but his frown turned into a half smile.
"What are you doin here babe?" My mind went blank. I didn't know what to say. Do I just blurt it out "I'm pregnant?" and leave it at that? Opening my mouth to form the words, nothing came out. "Steven..." My voice trailed off and his face grew concerned, the more he looked at me..I couldn't do it. I just couldn't. Looking down I saw my hand rest in my lap..so close to my- our baby. He had to know.
"Jackie what is it?" The roughness in his voice startled me, I felt pushed.. "What do you mean?" I was a bad liar. "Jackie. You're in my bed, you are never on this bed. Or hardly in this room for that matter! I wake up..here you are something is up. Spill."
I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. "Steven we need to talk" There it was. I couldn't turn back once I uttered those words. I had to say it.
"Isn't that exactly what I just said Jackie?"
"Steven! shut up, I'm carrying your baby!" My hand slapped to my mouth. It was out there. I wanted to grab the words in the air. Pull them back, put them back in my mouth, swallow them! Anything! Anything.. to keep from hearing Stevens response.
"As in a baby?" He stood up, paced around the room and looked me in the eyes. "Can you be pregnant with anything else dummy?"
"Well Jackie, I'm alittle in shock here!" Exhailing loudly, his hands moved to his back pockets as he did another lap around the room.
"I uh...I need to go find Leo" As he walked out I wanted to grab him and tell him things would be okay, but me being stubborn, I didn't. I wanted the "It'll be okay" and the reassurance.
"Thats just great Steven..!" I waited a second for a response.
nothing...nothing..
Then a door slam. I couldn't believe. There I sit, looking around his pathetic room in the back of the basement. I should have went after him, I should have kissed him...I should have. I should have. But I didn't.