"As OuR fAtEd TrIo JoUrNeYeD tHrOuGh MoThErFuCkInG bEaNiN," Sang Gamzee, the purple bard.
"our vwiew changes once again" Sang his partner in crime song, Cronos.
"tO a MoThErFuCkInG cEcElAn LaDy KnIgHt,"
"and her little sister"
"L4TUUUUL4!" Whined a blind nine year old. She had just been forced of the horse by her older sister.
"Look, 'r3z1, you'r3 a r34lly r4d k1d, but M1tun4 4nd 1 gott4 go on th1s qu3st, w3'll b3 b4ck soon, so s1t t1ght 4nd ch1ll w1th K4nkr1's cuz." Her sister replied, smiling toothily. She rode off to meet with her boyfriend and search for his lost little brother.
Terezi, a little confused, knocked on the door of the house her sistr had dropped her off at.
"What the fuck do you want."
"4r3 you K4nkr1's l4m34ss cous1n?"
"Why do you want to know? Interested in talking to the fucktard?"
"No, 1'm st4y1ng w1th you." She ppointed to herself. "T3r3z1."
"Karkat. What the fuck do you mean? You're staying with me? Oh shit." He slammed the door.
"'Tul4 told m3 to. Plus, you tot4lly a4r3n't l4m3 l1k3 your cous1n, K4rkl3s."
Karkat finally let her in, and eventually, the two swapped stories, about how Karkat was going to be a knight, how Latula already was, how Terezi was a seer and Kankri's mysterious dissapearance. Over the months he blind girl stayed with him, Karkat slowly became attached to her. Terezi called the two of them 'Bestest Friends Ever'.
One day, a group of heavily armored men came to Karkat's house. Demanding to see "The Seer Terezi" he made a futile attempt to stop them. The last he saw of his best friend was through his blood covered eyes as she was dragged off towards Beanin's capitol, and Caliborn's stronghold.
"So KaRbRo TrAiNeD aS a MoThErFuCkInG kNiGhT."
"and it took sevweral years"
"wHiLe LaTuLa, IgNoRaNt Of HeR sIs' FaTe,"
"and really h-continued her quest with mituna"
Latula entered the hut where Aranea was treating Mituna. Her boyfriend lay unconcious on the cot, shifting restlessly as if in a nightmare.
"Yo, 4r4n34, how's my bro do1n?"
"Good news and 8ad news."
"wh4t's th3 b4d?"
"He can't 8e cured."
"Good?"
"I know why he's like this."
"So! My fuck1n bro's dy1ng, 1 don't g1ve a 'bout th3 c4us3 gurl!"
"He isn't dying, technically."
"Th3n wh4t 1s h3 do1ng?"
"Turning in to the next ruler of the underworld.
"No w4y gurl. H1s p4r3nt's 4r3 4s norm4l 4s sh1t! 4nd th3r3's no w4y h3's 4dopt3d."
"8ecoming a ruler of the underworld isn't hereditary. Your 8oyfriend's just unlucky."
"C4n 1 do 4nyth1ng?!"
"You can go down with him."
"So LaTuLa WeNt DoWn To ThE uNdErWoRlD,"
"to sawve the lover she vwas far to good for"
"wHiLe OuR lEgEnDaRy TaLe,"
"goes back to that glubbin trio"
Dave crawled ahead of his two companions, the compitent yet clumsy witch and the entirely useless farmboy who'd joined them. He heard footsteps and paused, listening. John on the other hand jumped up to get a better look.
"Hey guys look at-" Jade's glowing green magic (0,255,0) blocked his mouth so that he wouldn't yelland give away their position.
"What did you see?"
"Some of Caliborn's soldiers dragging someone. It looked a whole lot like my friend Rose."
"Why would they want your friend?"
"She's kinda a Seer."
Jade eyed Dave, who nodded. Simultaneously, the two jumped up and started to attack the armed gaurds. John, being the useless farmboy that he is, sat stunned doing jack shit. In the end, an unconcious Rose sat between the three of them. Dave poked her, except in a really cool and ironic way.
"Rose?! Wake up!" John semi-shouted. Her eyes slowly opened.
"Thanks." She told Dave and Jade who respectvely nodded and smiled brightly. "John."
"Rose!"
"John, I have something important to tell you."
"What?"
"Your fortune-seeking quest. Turns out that you are the heir to the true throne of Beanin."
"Really! Awesome!"
"The heir? Who'd of guessed." Jade muttered.
"Congratulations, derpface."
"Hey Dave?"
"yes."
"Can you teach me how to fight like you?"
"Need a weapon first."
Jade, blinking rapidly, summoned a brightly colored hammer. On it read a note saying:
Give To The True Heir Of Beanin.
John accepted the hammer, and Dave reluctantly started tp train him.
"So ThE tRiO bEcAmE a TeAm."
"armed vwith mystic vweapons"
"NoW hErE iS tHe AuThOr,"
"of this vwonderful tail"
dddnc:Thanks guys!
Alright recap:
John is the Beanin heir, seeking his fortune with Rose the Seer, Sir Dave, and Jade the Witch.
Terezi was kidnaped for her seer powers, and Karkat is currently heading to save her as an awesome knight.
Mituna's the ruler of the underworld, and Latula's going down to help him.
Aranea, Kanaya, Caliborn, and Feferi exist.
11 heroes, 1 villain, 2 narrators, 1 author.
Thanks again to the bards.
Also, disclaimer:I NO OWN HOMESTUCK
-dddnc out-