"You know it doesn't matter what we do, Joker."

"Do I really have to decide?"

Commander Shepard and Flight Lieutenant Jeff Moreau were going through the same issue that faces almost every couple every day: making a choice. They're mostly indecisive, wishing to do whatever the other one wants, although they secretly do have their option in mind. Perhaps they get inwardly upset, but it doesn't matter. In the mean time, they just argue back and forth.

Things were no different for this duo.

"You wanted this shore leave the most." Shepard had her hands under her chin, resting on them while she rested. They were at a nice restaurant on Illium, a perfect place for casually getting something to eat, but nothing like fast food. A smaller sized booth sat the both of them, and they had no trouble peering at each other in anticipation.

"Hell, yeah I did. But there are only three things I really want to do." He took off his hat now that they were seated, his intention to look relatively decent. His hat hair kind of obstructed that objective, however.

Shepard reached over and ran a hand through the brown strands of his messy hair, a light smile tugging at her lips. "What were you saying, now?" She blinked a few times and focused on him. "Three things? What are they?"

"Well, first? Sex. I thought you already knew that one." He winked at her, and she bobbed her head to the side expectantly. "There are positions I'll be able to do that I've never been able to do before!"

"Mon Dieu, you're so loud."

He smirked. "Second, I want to get in some sort of firefight. Some kinda action. With you, I mean. You and me, kicking ass. … Honestly, I'd love it if I'd be able to rescue you. But I wouldn't want that to happen anyway. It'd just be nice to help you for once." His hands met hers in the center of the table, green eyes glinting with mirth.

"When did you become such a sap? I could have sworn that you blew me off almost every time I came to visit you, back in the day." Her face soured.

"Did I?"

"I offered you comfort, once, and you said that EDI had it covered. That EDI had it covered. I just about gave up right then and there. 'Platonic symbiosis' my ass." Ripping her hands away, she held herself and glared at the man across from her. "'So, Commander, come here too often?' 'There's a reason I don't date crew'. If I said you were giving off mixed signals, I'd be lying. You gave off enough negative signals. … You're lucky I'm too damn determined to quit."

He picked up a menu absentmindedly and flipped it open. "Really? I'm lucky? Because I'm pretty sure I signed my death warrant when I kissed you."

"Other way around, dear."

"ETA two hours until we reach the Omega 4 Relay," Joker's voice rang out through the ship.

Commander Shepard, in charge of the SR-2 Normandy, sat crying her eyes out on top of her desk, boots planted on her chair. Her crew was gone, they were advancing into a relay that would take them somewhere nobody has returned from, and her pilot never failed to break her heart a bit more each day. Miserable at best, she finally let some tears slip through before escaping downstairs.

She wiped her eyes and brushed her hair beforehand, not exactly too keen on having the core crew pester her about feelings. Even though Joker was probably distracted with that damned AI, he provided the best distraction. She went to him.

"Commander?"

"I assume everything is going well up here?"

"EDI and I were just discussing how we're going to make it through the relay, but somehow got off-topic to amusement parks. She looked up one that I used to go to all the time. 'Course, I couldn't go on all the rides for obvious reasons, but it still had …"

He rambled on about the park and EDI chimed in as well. The words completely eluded the commander, and she stood there with a forced, small smile. She felt as if it were real enough.

"Sorry, Commander, didn't mean to rant like that. What have you been up to?"

She resisted the urge to shake her daze away and answered, "Oh, I don't mind. It's nice to hear your voice." That sounded … bad. Not how she wanted it to come out—much too 'touchy-feely', like Joker had said once before. That's what she liked to avoid. Expecting 'that look,' the one that made her feel like the rank of a maggot, she put a hand behind her head and corrected, "Hear your stories, I mean. You telling them. Like always."

Suddenly, she hated herself. A lot.

"You know, maybe I should go. Get something to eat in the mess before the, uh, mission. Nice talking to you."

Joker's eyebrow shot up when he watched her trail away quickly, foots padding lightly against the flooring. His eyes scanned the contour lines of her body, sincerely amused that his commander was somehow flustered like that. He wondered if she knew how she blinked a bit more, or cracked her knuckles whenever she got nervous.

A smile gracing his features, he got up from his seat and didn't bother granting EDI a farewell. His best friend was a good distance in front of him, but when he held his hand in front of the elevator to stop it from closing, he was right next to her once more.

Shepard looked at him with unreadable caution, slightly wary of his intentions. With his slight hunch, he was just a bit taller than herself, which she had noticed before, as they hung out often. It didn't make it any less daunting, though.

"You don't mind if I join you, do you?"

Her muscles relaxed slightly. "Of course not."

The silence was too thick.

She let out a quick growl. "Dammit, Joker," she muttered, turning towards him swiftly. She faced him with arms firm at her sides, fists clenched. "I don't want to be the pessimistic commander, but I'm not exactly the most confident about this mission. I don't … I'm not sure we're coming back."

"We all know that this could go either way. Don't worry about how everyone feels about that. Remember that we're still here. One-hundred percent."

Mon Dieu, I've fallen too hard for this guy. Still hating myself.

"I'll miss you … you guys," she corrected casually enough.

He placed his arm around her shoulders. "We aren't dead yet, are we?"

Leaning into his touch instinctively, she found her head on his chest. "You're right."

Joker found it slightly odd that Commander Shepard was letting him see her vulnerable side … if one could call it that. It's not like she was crying or something similarly terrifying. He didn't know what he'd do if she ever let loose the waterworks.

But hey, he wasn't going to be the one to deny it. The fact that she fit quite nicely under her arm was comforting for the both of them, as he could feel her relax almost completely.

Deck three was not exactly far away, so the doors opened soon enough.

Joker couldn't care less.

"I'm not really hungry," she admitted.

"Yeah, neither am I. I was just interested."

She snorted, halfheartedly hitting his chest as she sauntered out of the elevator. Her aura of confidence was somewhat back, but Joker could see through the partial act. "Bastard. In what?"

"You, obviously."

"Ob-obviously?" she sputtered. "Obviously? That word's enough for me to go jump out of the nearest airlock. You're far from blatant, Joker." Her seething words were dismissed by the pilot, whom did not seem fazed. He leaned against the elevator.

He cocked his head. "Okay, maybe not that obvious. Come here."

"Why?" she asked suspiciously.

Instead of making a crack about how he wasn't the enemy, or a secret assassin, or something equally sarcastic, the genuine glint in his eyes steered Shepard over. "It's alright," he nearly cooed, as if Shepard were a little sheep, ironic as it sounded. "Permission to be cliché, ma'am?"

"… Aye, aye."

"You're the only woman that I've ever put effort into keeping in the friend zone."

Hot damn, she was expecting something a little less … heartbreaking?

"Ah!" she forced out—a light, almost breathy-sounding word. Her eyebrows pulled back, and she stepped back one time. A thousand questions ran through her mind, but she settled with: "What?"

"Sure, I've liked other girls. Who hasn't ever felt something for someone? Thing is, I didn't care enough about them to worry about … well, losing them. You're my best friend, Shepard. I don't want to ruin that. So that's why I'm going to decline your feelings."

So he knew. He knew, and he reciprocated them. Yet, he still rejected the idea.

She pursed her lips, glared up at him with the most piercing eyes he'd ever seen her wear, and punched him as hard as she could in the gut. Because she was Commander Shepard, this wasn't a light hit. No bones, just stomach.

He keeled over slightly and murmured, "Guess I deserved that."

"Aargh! Tu es completement debile! Fou."

"Don't speak french, but I know you're insulting me," he said through grit teeth, eventually straightening out again. "Look, Shepard-" he started, ready to get stern on her; he was even a little upset that she punched him.

Her eyes were watering, though, and he had to face the one thing he hoped he never would.

She wiped them away before he had a chance to comment, and they were gone more quickly than they had arrived.

"Tu me peles le jonc." She sighed. "Never mind about eating. Sorry about hitting you."

Her miserable tone dampened Joker's spirits. Yeah, he liked her (hell, it was hard to not fall in love), but he didn't want to risk attachment or something that could jeopardize the mission. If things ended up … well, badly between them emotionally, that could also effect everything.

Although, now he had a feeling that Shepard was a bit emotionally compromised. Going into something like this shouldn't be done with things weighing heavily on the mind.

Sulking away, the commander felt better about going into the suicide mission, however. Wasted chances were now nonexistent to her.

For some reason, she somehow expected Joker to be up in her cabin right after she entered it. He followed her up there, worried and second-guessing.

"I'm sorry."

"It was like giving somebody a briefcase of money but covering it with an indestructible lock."

"I know!"

"Like telling a woman that she had a daughter but isn't able to see it."

He removed his hat and ran a hand through his hair. Shepard stared at him expectantly, arms crossed tightly under her chest. "My logic was kind of skewed, I get it! I never really figured that anybody would understand, anyway. Just a fear of losing someone, I guess …"

Scowl dissipating, she said, "It's understandable. I just … Dammit, I like you, and yeah, I'll move on eventually if you stick with your hormonally induced courtship behavior with that … that damned AI."

Despite their attempts at this conversation being serious, Joker laughed. Loudly.

"You're not jealous of an AI, are you?"

"Non."

"You are!"

She shook her head. "Whatever, Joker. That's not even the point."

He frowned; she had darkened the light mood once more. "Damn, Shepard. I'm sorry, alright?" Her hands were caught by his own, and he tried his best to not handle them like an awkward teenager.

Shaking her head, she muttered, "Fuck it."

Joker would be lying if he said that he wasn't expecting (or enjoying) her lips on his own. They weren't forced or hard; instead, she took extra care in the passionate brush of skin. "Mm … Shepard," he breathed, still barely connected.

"Try for me," she whispered.

"Damn right I will," he said before wrapping his arms around her. Hands on her back, he pushed her as close as possible so their lips could continue the tension-releasing dance. Her bottom hit the edge of her desk as they moved, so he lifted her up on top of it.

They broke apart and stared at each other momentarily.

Just in time, too. "ETA twenty minutes, Commander. I suggest assembling all necessary equipment."

EDI's voice only sounded more annoying when she was fawn-talking with Joker. Of course, that was just Shepard's bias, and anything she heard came out as sultry, admiring, or overly-friendly. The pilot didn't see it that way, giving EDI a mom-complex.

That didn't stop Shepard from cursing the AI until relay time.

"Let's not talk about the week after that. I like to ram my head against the wall if I even think of it."

Joker shook his head but understood completely. As to be expected, they had to talk about their relationship. The pilot had pretty much abandoned the idea of keeping it platonic after realizing he was hooked too deep. Their relationship pre-confession was close enough; he knew he wanted her.

"How about all the great weeks after that? Or, almost a year and a half now of weeks. Something like that."

"Ah, goodness, we aren't supposed to be reminiscing. How in hell did we get off track? Don't answer that. What's the third thing that you wanted to do, again?"

He leaned back and smiled. "Not telling."

"What? Why?"

"It's a secret."

She rolled her eyes and dismissed it easily enough. It was probably something extremely dangerous or life-threatening. She grabbed the pad from Liara and started scanning over it. "You know, just because you have good legs doesn't mean you're immune to everything. Still got weaknesses, honey."

"Yeah, yeah. I know."

A gasp elicited from the woman. "Ah! It's the fourth of July today!" She pushed his shoulder. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"When was the last time to paid any attention to holidays like that, anyway? We're not on Earth … one of the few places they celebrate independence day. You know, because that's only in America … which isn't here."

"Illium takes any opportunity to use fireworks. At least, that's what it says here." She looked amused. "We should just shop around and act like tourists until later … and then we can watch the fireworks. It'll be romantic. You like romantic stuff, don't you?"

"Uh-huh," he said flatly. "As I said before, as long as I get to do my list of three, I'll be happy."

"Are you sure you don't want us to help, Miss Dantius?"

"I told you, I've got this one. She's not exactly on guard. With her boyfriend, too, as far I can see. Even better; I hear he's crippled or something." The asari easily fit in with the rest of the folks at the restaurant. Her eyes were glued to the couple, smooth legs crossed at the ankles. Her posture was slightly slouched, but she still held the look of ferocity and elegance.

"Both of your sisters have been slaughtered by Shepard, though. Er, technically it was one of her squad mates for Nassana, but … Dahlia didn't stand a chance. What makes you think that you wont be next, ma'am?"

"Are you doubting me?

"N-no, ma'am. Just worried; that's all."

"No need to be. Sure, we may have had trust issues in our family …" She stood up and quickly went over her plan before initiating it. "… but we never lacked in the avenge section. It's time for payback."

Author's Note:

Tu es completement debile!: You're a complete moron!
Tu me peles le jonc: You get on my nerves.
Fou: Fool.
Mon Dieu: My God.