STAR WARS EPISODE IV
CHAPTER ONE: REBELS UNDER ATTACK
(I don't own anyone)
Long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…
It is a period of civil war.
Rebel space ships, striking
From a hidden base, have won
Their first victory against
the evil Galactic Empire after several unsuccessful tries.
During the battle, Rebel
spies manage to steal secret
plans to the Empire's
ultimate weapon, the DEATH
STAR, an armored space station that,
doesn't even look remotely similar to a star
and with enough power to destroy
an entire planet (sounds like the rebels are screwed).
Pursued by the empire's
sinister agents, Princess
Leia rushes home aboard her
starship, custodian of the
looted plans that can save
her people and restore
freedom to the galaxy….
The ship continues to flee from the Star Destroyer as it passes over the desert planet Tatooine. They exchange fire as they do. After several shots, none of them seemed to hit one another. "This isn't working," said an Imperil soldier. "Bring out the big gun!" He and two other soldiers start moving a large beam cannon around in a dump truck and they position the firing end at the rebel ship. After firing the first shot, they make a direct hit on the starship.
Aboard the starship, a Mexican teenager in a yellow sweater and yellow pants, with three golden chains around his neck, and his hat's bill tilted to the right side of his head stumbled out of a room filled with smoke. Following him was an aluminum garbage can on wheels with a window on the side of it and blue decals all over it. "Man!" said the guy as he coughed like crazy. "The rebels sure know how to throw a party!"
The garbage can wheeled over to his side and opened the lid to reveal another Mexican teenager that looks just like the other one, sitting inside of it. "I know, bro!"
Running through the halls, several armed rebels head past the 'droids'. "Crap! They got out the big gun!"
"Do you hear that?" asked the one in yellow.
"Hear what, Kevin?"
"They shut down the main reactor." he said. "What's going on?"
The rebels that where heading down the halls position themselves at the end of a hall pointing their guns at a door. "Don't let even one of those Imperial bastards get in!"
"It looks like they're going to shoot whoever comes through that door, Edwin." said Kevin.
"Hey, what about the princess?" asked Edwin, still looking out from the top of his can.
"There will be no escape for the princess this time." He said. "Let's get out of here." They hear a sound from, above. "What was that?"
"Sounds like a giant vacuum." said Edwin. He looked over to the rebel soldiers who were also baffled by the sound.
"I think we're being abducted." said Kevin still looking up at the ceiling.
"By a large vacuum?" asked Edwin.
"Everyone be ready, they're going to come through that door!" said the commanding rebel officer. "I think we're in for some trouble."
"Man, there's even bigger trouble in my pants." said one of the officers.
Just then, something was cutting through the door. The door fell to pieces and a large amount of sparks and smoke came from the door's remains. Then it exploded. "Gaaah! A piece flew into my eye!"
Firing through the smoke, Storm troopers entered the ship, guns a blazing. "Die rebel scum!" One of them was killed by a rebel officer, but that didn't stop the other rebels from getting shot.
"Can we be any worse aimers?!?!" yelled the commanding officer. The rebel officers were being quickly massacred as more and more troopers ran in. "It's like they mass produce these guys in a factory!" The commander is shot.
"Run away!!" The rebels quickly run from the scene. The Storm troopers follow them to another point in the halls where they confront more rebels.
The 'droids', Edwin and Kevin, quickly head to the scene. "Look they're shooting at each other!" said Edwin.
"We need to get though here, so we need to go through the lasers." said Kevin. "Since you have a trash can to protect you, you go first."
"I'd rather cross the Mexican boarder!" said Edwin.
"We're droids, they won't shoot at us!" said Kevin pushing Edwin's trash can through the hall with Edwin still inside as the rebels and Storm troopers exchange fire. The droids quickly make it across. "See? Not even a scratch!"
Edwin pops out of his can to look at Kevin's pants now that it has a hole burned into it. Kevin looked down. "Damn!"
"Um, let's go find the princess." said Edwin closing his lid and heading down the halls.
At the door where the Storm troopers got in, the pushed the bodies aside and rolled out a red carpet so that a black, caped figure can walk in and not trip on anything. As he came in he looked around at the dead rebel soldiers. He breathed in with the tube that lead to his mask and breathed out a bunch of smoke. "That's some good weed."
Edwin and Kevin head down the halls and find princess. "Princess Leia!"
"Please, call me Samus." she said to the droids.
"Right." said Kevin. "We're here to get you out of here."
"That's not needed." said the princess. She reached into her pocket and took out two discs. "Here take these."
"Cool!" said Edwin popping out of his can and grabbing them. "Free burned tunes!"
"Yeah, sure." said the Princess. "Make sure no one gets their hands on those discs. I want you two to go into and escape pod with them and head down to the planet we're over now. Then search for Obi-Wan-Kenobi."
Kevin took out a note pad. "How do you spell that?"
"Just as it sounds." she said grabbing a gun and running off.
"Obi…Wan…Keno…bi." he said writing it down. Then he looked up. "Hey, where's the Princess?"
"Let's just take her advice!" said Edwin. "They're heading in this direction!"
The remaining rebel troops were captured and where taken to the Star Destroyer. One of the Storm troopers reported to Darth Vader, who was holding a rebel soldier by his neck and breathing into his face. The soldier coughed like crazy "What's wrong, can't take your weed?"
"Sir, the Death Star plans are not in the main computer." said the trooper.
Then he turned to the rebel. "Where are the plans, limp dick?!"
"Wh-what plans? We're just on a…diplomatic…mission!" he said trying to break free.
"The where is the ambassador, fool?" he asked before breaking the rebel's neck. Then he threw him against the wall. "Tear this ship apart until you've found those plans! And bring me the passengers, I want them alive!"
Then 7 Storm troopers start looking through the ship for anyone on it. "I don't see anything." said Number 4.
"They should be here." said Number 2.
"Maybe the rebel scum bag was telling the truth." said Number 3.
"Are you going to believe that crap?" asked Number 1.
Just then, Princess Leia, or Samus, jumped from around the corner and started blasting away at Number 3. She shot him 17 times before she turned to Number 6 and unloaded on him as well. Then Number 2 shot a stun blast on her and she collapsed after she finished off Number 5. "We have a prisoner, and three casualties."
"Well, it wasn't a complete loss." said Number 4.
At the same time, the droids made their way to the escape pods. "Let's use this one."
"Quickly, before they catch on to us." said Kevin. He got into the pod and they ejected. Then he looked out the port window and saw the Star Destroyer. "Damn Imperials have a bigger and nicer ship than us!"
"They must get paid more." said Edwin. The pod started heading down to the planet. At the same time, the Princess was taken captive by the Storm troopers.
Darth Vader approached them in the halls. "Darth Vader, the blackest man in the galaxy." said the Princess.
"That's right Princess." he said breathing in and out.
"You've finally done it this time!" Samus said. "This attack on my ship has law sue written all over it."
"Where are the plans that the Rebels sent you?" he asked.
"You must be smoking your grass too much, Darth Bong-Man." She said. "I have no idea what you're talking about; I'm a member of the Imperial Senate on a diplomatic mission to Aldaron…"
"Zip it, bitch." He shouted. "You are part of the damned Rebel Alliance and a damned traitor! Take her away!!"
The Storm troopers grabbed her and took her down the halls. "Hey, keep your hands of my ass!"
"I've traced those breathing manure bags to her." said Darth Vader walking away. "She's my only link to the secret base of the Rebels."
"I don't think she'll tell you, sir." said the Imperial officer.
"Leave that to me, whitey." said Darth Vader. "She must have put the plans in the pod that was launched. Send down some fools to retrieve them."
TO BE CONTINUED…