Chapter Two: Don't wanna talk about it.
I woke up to the sun soaking into my skin, reminding me that I am alive.
"No need to remind me", I mumbled to myself.
"Hey Elsie, time for the bathroom", I said as I stuck my head out of my open door.
I guess it was breakfast time.
"Be right there Mam", Elsie called back from the nurses station, which was in the middle of the room.
"Beautiful day isn't it?", I lied.
"Feeling rather cheery today Miss, aren't we?", she mused back.
"I think its the pee running through my body", I said jokingly.
She escorted me down the hall to the bathroom, while she patted me down as usual, gave me a knowing smile, and stood outside of the stall, waiting for me.
I went to say something, but Ms Elsie stopped me.
"Now don't you go flip flapping your jaw now Miss, ain't polite to talk while going to the bathroom, now is it?", she said in her southern accent.
"Who said anything about being polite? So whats on the agenda for the day?", I said as I started to pee.
She didn't say a word, leave it to her to ignore me until i finished peeing.
"Really? All that? How are we going to fit all that into one day?", I joked back.
"All that talking your doing, I oughta call Mr. Jade up here, to come deal with you", she joked back.
That was all I needed to shut me up.
"Now now Miss, you know I ain't gonna do that to you. I just don't understand why Im one of the only people you'll say a word too. Got me confused honeypie", she assured me.
I was annoyed now, and my day was ruined.
I never said a word to anyone, but I had been living here for four years, and Elsie has been the only woman, or person who made me feel okay, since day one.
"You're mad at me now aren't you Miss?", she asked.
I left the bathroom stall, washed my heads, and headed out of the bathroom.
I followed procedure as usual, walked up to her, opened my mouth, and lifted my tongue to show her I didn't have anything in my mouth.
She patted me down one last time, as I stalked ahead of her and into my room.
"Now listen Miss, I was only half kidding, you know I wouldn't call Mister Jade up here. Your one of the only people who don't give me no problems. The only thing Im saying is, it wouldn't hurt you to talk to anyone, now would it miss?", she said her voice full of concern.
"What do you think got me here in the first place?", I spat back.
I slammed my door shut, and laid face first onto my bed, hiding under the covers.
"This is why I never say a fucking word to anyone", I growled to myself.
There was a knock on my door, "Go Away", I grumbled from under my pillow, thinking it was Ms Elsie.
"Do you want breakfast?", the male nurse called from the other side.
I got up and opened my door to show him I was alive, but in no mood for food.
"Suit yourself", he said as he made his way to the room next door.
I went and laid back into my bed, I was trying to fall back asleep, but the voices down the hall were keeping me up.
I was about to get up and shut my door, when I heard Ms Elsie talking about me to Ms Lillian.
"Girl don't cause me no trouble, dont know why she's still here", Elsie told Lillian.
"She dont say a damn word to anyone, hasn't said a damn thing to anyone, except you since day one. Girl cant function in society. Plus you know damn well know she's a threat to herself and society. She could turn on a second, and we'd be at fault for releasing a sick woman into the world. Got it?", said Miss Lillian.
Miss Lillian was head of the nurses, and I had never said a word to her, not even so much as a hi since day one, I think this made her extremely jealous of Elsie.
Elsie mumbled something under her breath about Lillian being the crazy one, but Miss Lillian was already on her way to the elevator.
It took all I had in me to not punch Ms Lillian in the back of the fucking head, but that would just prove her snotty little comment.."She could turn on a second".
Of course I could turn on a second, any one could, its called being human, but the reference that she was getting at, made me sick to my stomach.
It made me sink to the ground and curl up into a ball.
The flashback's started coming full force now, as I banged my head off the wall, to try and scream them away.
"No! No! No!! No! Leave me alone! Stay away from me!", I screamed as my body went into convulsions.
It was trying to keep the day nightmare's away.
My head was smacking off the wall, as my body shook ferociously.
"Baby I'll be right there!", I heard Ms Elsie yell.
"Max, Andrew, Jude, Ryan! Go to her! Im grabbing the sedative.", she yelled to the male nurses.
By the time everyone got to me, my head was bleeding, as I layed in a ball, whimpering back and forth.
"Please don't hurt me Ms Elsie", I begged.
The men moved closer to me, but Ms Elsie told them to back off.
"Give the child some room", she said with anger.
She leaned down closer to me, "Now look baby, you know this is going to pinch, but it will make you feel better", she tried to sooth me.
"Please don't hurt me! Please don't hurt me!", I screamed.
"Its time", Ms Elsie said.
The men moved closer to me, as Jude scooped me up and layed me on the bed.
"Were not doing this to hurt you", Jude tried to assure me.
Very carefully Jude grabbed my right arm, as Ryan grabbed my left, Max had my right leg, as Andrew had my left one.
I didn't try to fight them, I knew what was coming.
"Please don't hurt me", I sobbed.
Ms Elsie rubbed my hair as she stuck the needle in my arm, and with in a matter of seconds, I was on my way out wondering..Who am I again, anyway?