Disclaimer: Don't own anything!

Warning: Delicate themes!

AN: Thank you all so much for the reviews, alerts and faves! They made my day. Hopefully, this chapter will be enjoyed as well. Let me know what you think! Too much drama?

~ Terrible Love ~

Chapter 2

Next day, Thor found Loki standing near the window in his private bedchamber, wearing his usual green outfit, but Thor found him different somehow. He cleared his throat, announcing his presence. Loki merely turned his head so that he could look at Thor over his shoulder. Slowly, the thunderer approached him, but he halted at a safe distance. He didn't know why exactly, but he wanted to offer Loki space.

"How are you feeling?" he asked carefully.

Loki shrugged, returning his gaze to the window. "I am fine."

Thor took a step forward. And another one until he stood directly behind Loki. He hesitated to place a hand on his shoulder, not knowing whether Loki would appreciate it or not, but eventually he did so. "I want the truth, brother," he whispered.

A deep sigh come from Loki's lips, his eyes resting on his clasped hands before him. "I can not tell you," he explained with a hint of anger in his voice, "I don't want to burden you."

"Don't shut me out, Loki," Thor pressed his hand a little deeper into Loki's shoulder, "not now."

There was a long silence, but Thor did not move. He refused to leave Loki alone, only wanting to help him. He would be a horrible person if he left his brother to take of himself and he would certainly not deserve the throne. Who was he to lead his people into peaceful times if he was to abandon his brother?

"I feel awful." Loki finally broke the silence with a voice that was hardly his own. He sounded tired and strangely fragile. "I have never doubted myself this much before. I have never felt like everyone is staring at me, but I do now. There is life within me and it spreads through me like a fire, Thor. It's infecting me and it feels...wonderful."

Thor didn't interrupt his brother from speaking, but he placed his arms around Loki's waist and pulled him closer. The idea of Loki carrying his child did indeed feel pleasant. Thor was curious about the whole matter and silly questions roamed around in his head. What would the child look like? Would it be a boy or girl? Would it be healthy?

He'd never ask Loki those questions, though, since they were not appropriate and would only cause more pain. In stead, Thor buried his face in Loki's back, breathing in his scent. It was painful to be this close and yet know that Loki's mind was a thousand miles away.

"The life within me," Loki turned in Thor's embrace so that he could look into a pair of blue orbs, "it's exiting and it's new and completely dependent on me. I feel like I am betraying my child already just by thinking about it because I have no happy thoughts. I can only think of how I must get rid of it."

Thor bit down on his tongue as he tried to understand what Loki was telling him. All he felt was jealousy, however, for Loki got to experience the sensation of carrying their child and Thor felt left out. He moved a hand down Loki's chest and allowed it to rest upon his flat stomach.

"Do you love it?"

Loki nodded. "I do," he answered sadly, "because it's yours."

-o-o-

He was well aware that his mouth hung open and that he was staring at his mother. In return, she looked at him worriedly, but he could not come to care. "Where is he going?" he asked for the second time.

Frigga frowned, but answered immediately, "Midgard. Thor, what is wrong?"

Thor stood from his seat, abandoning an entire plate of food. He ignored the questions being fired at him, the confused stares trying to keep him from leaving the dinning hall. Instead, Thor strode through the halls of his home towards the bridge that would lead him to the observatory. In the distance, he spotted Loki riding a horse and Thor quickened his pace, using his hammer to fly across the bridge.

"Loki," he yelled, needing his brother's attention. Just before they reached Heimdall, Thor caught up with his brother and forced him to descend from the magnificent beast. Loki complied and straightened his back, his eyes looking scarily empty. Thor knew perfectly well where Loki was heading to, but he still asked him the question, "Where are you going?"

"Midgard," Loki answered flatly.

Heimdall could hear their every word, but the brothers did not care. Heimdall knew everything after all and so they ignored his presence. The guard was wise enough not mingle in the conversation.

"What for?" Thor clenched a hand around Mjolnir, expecting an answer he would not like.

"To collect books to add to my library," Loki said, raising one eyebrow in a defying manner, "at least that is what mother thinks."

Thor gritted his teeth, reminding himself that he had no right to be angry with Loki. "Why are you really going?"

"To fix this," Loki snarled, "because what other choice do we have? No one here in Asgard can help us without father finding out. Midgard is our best option and you should support me in this."

"You said you loved it," Thor countered, realising how shocked he sounded, "you said you loved our child and now you're getting rid of it?"

The slap forced Thor's head aside. Loki was looking at him with large, hurt eyes, his chest heaving up and down as he sucked in ragged breaths. Thor instantly regretted his words. He shouldn't have said it, not in such a cruel way. Subtlety was not his strong suit, but Thor wanted answers. He needed an explanation.

"Do not think for one second that this is easy for me," Loki hissed.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Thor asked, returning to look at his brother. His cheek burned painfully, but he ignored the pain. It was but a needle prick compared to what he was feeling in his heart. "Why were you just taking off, not even informing me?"

Loki shook his head, his lips parted, but no words escaped yet. He cast a quick glance towards Heimdall, but he quickly focused back on his brother once he knew Heimdall showed no interest in them. "I wanted to spare you this," he confided, all anger having disappeared from his gaze, "Thor, I want only what is best, but that does not make it right or easy."

"Let me come with you," Thor pleaded, "you don't have to do this alone."

"I do," Loki sighed, casting down his green gaze, "it will raise too many questions otherwise. You never accompany me to Midgard so why would you now?"

"It is none of their business-"

"Please, Thor," Loki smiled reassuringly before planting a quick kiss against his lips, "go home and get through the day. I'll be back before midnight."

Loki cast an easy spell, his featured suddenly transforming into those of a woman. Thor only stared at him and watched his brother disappeared into the observatory then. Heimdall silently followed the youngest prince – currently princess - and Thor had to fight every muscle in his body as not to go in there as well. His brother had asked this and he did not want to disappoint him. With agony in his eyes, he watched the bifrost build in strength and a powerful beam shot through space.

It carried Loki to Midgard.

And his child.

All had changed now.

-o-o-

For the rest of the day, Thor was best left alone. Every question was answered with a growl and weapon-practice was a disaster. For the warriors three that was. Thor had beat them all half to death by the time it was noon and not even then had his angry and distant demeanour changed.

It was Sif who carefully approached him late in the afternoon.

"Is everything..." she weighed her words carefully, "all right?"

Thor, who was currently walking back to his personal chambers, glared at her. How could she even ask such a ridiculous question. The entire race of Asgard knew by this point that there was something wrong!

"You should leave me be, Sif," he answered bluntly, "I am not pleasant company right now."

"I am your friend, Thor," she said, refusing to leave his side, "and I want to help if I can."

A heavy sigh came from deep within Thor's chest. He knew he shouldn't take out his anger on his friends, but he couldn't help it. He was pissed at the world and wanted to tear it apart with his bear hands. He forced himself to calm down, however.

"Thank you," he said surprisingly soft, knowing that Sif had honourable intentions, "but there is nothing you can do. I only want silence so if you'll excuse me."

He quickened his pace and left Sif alone in the hall. When he reached his chambers, he made sure he locked the door behind him. There was one person in the nine realms Thor wanted to see, but Loki wouldn't return for another few hours. He could only wonder what his brother was currently doing it pained him that he was not there with him. It was for the best, however, Loki had said so himself.

It still felt awful to stand alone.

-o-o-

He watched how the bifrost powered down and Thor did not hesitate another second. The sky was black, completely covered with clouds. Not even the moon could peak through. Thor had lost track of time, but he assumed it was around midnight. He pulled on his thick, red cloak and made his way towards the observatory.

Loki had returned and Thor needed to see him instantly. The amount of activity surprised Thor as he watched servants scurry through the halls. Apparently, dinner had run late and most people were only just returning home. In the corner of his eye, he saw the warriors three and the lady Sif, but he ignored them.

They weren't going to let him get away that easily.

"Thor," Fandral called, hurrying towards his prince, "Thor, we have not seen you all day!"

Thor suppressed the urge to yell at his friends. They did not deserve it and it would only lead to unwanted questions. In stead, the thunderer looked at them and managed to conjure a weak smile to his face.

"I wasn't feeling too well," he lied smoothly, though not as smoothly as Loki would have managed.

"You do look pale," Volstagg agreed, examining Thor's face, "are you ill?"

"No," Thor answered quickly. He heard a familiar pattern of foot steps and Thor threw a quick glance over his shoulder to see his brother walking through the hall. Loki was faster than Thor gave him credit for, but he was still too far away for Thor to see his face properly. "A good night's rest is all I need. Excuse me, my friends."

He didn't allow anyone to say anything else and merely turned his back to them. He hurried towards Loki and noticed how exhausted he looked. At least he was a man again. All Thor wanted to do, was throw his arms around Loki's waist and pull him tightly to his chest. Of course he could do no such thing in public.

"Loki..." Thor extended a hand as to touch Loki's shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" Loki yelled, nearly shrieking.

Thor stumbled back, shocked by Loki's sudden outburst. He had never seen his brother like this and he could only watch him flee the hallway. The warriors three and the lady Sif regarded him with large eyes, but Thor only shrugged and made his way back to his personal chambers. Every fibre of his being screamed at him, wanting him to return to Loki, but Thor ignored that instinct. Loki obviously needed time and space and Thor would gladly give it to him.

After all, there was no telling what Loki had been through today.