Fall Down or Fly, Part Two. 2250 Words
Part Two, Fall Down or Fly
Jess was thinking, 'unless here is an open time portal that's coughing up killing monsters from the past or future. In that case, I have to dispatch people to chase the monsters and round them up, pushing them back into the time portal. Hopefully, that all happens without getting anyone killed. I've even gone into the field on occasion. Oh, once I defused a bomb, a real bomb Fiona, not a fashion bomb. Yep, it's not exotic at all.'
Jess continued to smile, saying nothing. Fiona watched her. She smiled smugly. "I meant no offense."
"I know, Fi. It's fine."
"No job insecurity, then?" asked Shandi.
"Of course, not," said Ling Li. "She's always working! You're so overworked, Jess."
Both Shandi and Fiona nodded.
"I am!" she cried, laughing. "I have excellent support staff, but," and she looked at Fi, "I am the best."
Ling Li and Shandi giggled. Fiona rolled her eyes. Jess giggled too, taking a sip.
"I'm glad you work in a such a boring place," said Fiona. "In fact, it's so boring that they don't advertise it." She took a deep drink.
"As long as Jess is happy," said Ling Li with a smile.
Jess smiled awkwardly.
"What was that look?" asked Shandi.
"What look?" asked Jess.
"Jess. Is something wrong at work?" asked the red head.
"No. Of course not. I'm just...constantly working. That's all."
"Uh, huh," said Fiona. "We don't buy it. Dish."
Jess sighed. What could she say?
The job wasn't perfect. There was the killing. The creatures. The mad, crazy people bent on destruction. The dangerous diseases. The constant danger. The knowledge that one little mistake literally could mean the difference between life and death.
There were her co-workers, people she cared and feared for. Sometimes she wondered if she was looking at them for the very last time.
There was Becker. That man drove her crazy. She wasn't sure exactly what she felt for him. Even worse, she was totally confused. What did he feel for her?
There were times when she wondered why on earth she ever stepped foot back into that place.
Her friends stared at her. She smiled sadly. "No, there's nothing."
They all groaned.
"You're not playing by the rules," Fiona said. "We've all shared our problems. It's your turn."
Jess sighed. She knew Fi well enough to know that she'd never let it go. Jess had to give them something.
There was a small problem, but compared to the laundry list of real problems, it seemed stupid. She laughed inwardly. It was perfect for mates' night.
"Fine. It's kind of silly, but...there are a couple people, just a couple, and they aren't really co-workers. I don't see them often, just sometimes in the halls or canteen. They..." she paused, sighing. "Sometimes they say snide things."
"What about, Jess?" asked Shandi with concern.
"Oh...you know...about my skirts...or...um...they wonder, a bit crudely, about how I got my position."
"Jess, that's terrible!" cried Shandi.
"Yes, it is," said Ling Li.
"I just ignore them. It kind of hurts though."
"Don't let it. They're just jealous," said Fiona. "You're sweet and capable and hot, so they can't stand it."
Jess giggled, suddenly remembering why Fiona was her friend. "Thanks, and you're right."
"Obviously," said Fiona.
"You should complain," said Ling Li.
"Absolutely, you should," said Shandi. "You don't have to take that garbage."
Jess sighed. "I know. I know. I can handle it though. They can't do anything to me."
"That's why they say those stupid things," said Ling Li. "Cause they can't bother you any other way."
"I know."
"Would your boss do anything?" asked Fiona.
"I'm sure he would," Jess said. "It just seems so...petty. I don't want him or anyone thinking I'm too young and silly to take care of myself. Or that I'm so immature that it actually bothers me."
"But it does," said Shandi.
"Not that much."
"You have a security force at work, right?" asked Ling Li. "Tell them."
Jess scoffed, choking on her drink. They all looked at her. Fiona's eyebrow rose.
'Oh, God!' thought Jess, 'Becker would mangle them all! Probably not the two women; he was too much of a gentleman, but he might scare them.' She giggled and blushed fiercely. "Maybe I should."
"Definitely," said Ling Li, with Shandi nodding.
Fiona, though, looked at her with a steady gaze. "You're still hot for him."
Jess' mouth dropped open. "Uh..."
"You are. It's the same guy you always barely mention. He's head of security or something, right? All we know for sure is he's hot, a bit dumb, and he obviously makes your blood drain to your...private areas."
"Fi!"
The other two friends giggled as Jess, red and embarrassed glared down Fiona, who was brazen and buzzed.
"Do something about it, Jess!" yelled the fashion diva.
"I don't...know what you mean."
Fiona growled. "You like him, don't you?"
Jess didn't answer.
"Does he like you?"
Jess sunk in her seat.
"Do you even know?"
"Fi, maybe you should back off," suggested Shandi.
"No. I'm sick of hearing about this guy...barely hearing. God, Jess, make a move or get over him!"
Jess frowned. She was getting angry. "It isn't that simple."
Fiona rolled her eyes. "Only because you make it complicated."
"You don't understand. You don't know..."
Jess stopped. Fiona was right. She wouldn't tell Becker about the snide comments. She certainly wouldn't tell him straight out that she liked him. She wouldn't confront him about any feelings he had.
She couldn't it. It wasn't just a simple matter of does he or doesn't he like me. It wasn't just Jess' shyness or fear that he'd reject her. It was much more complicated.
Becker had...issues. He was consumed with guilt and the need to protect everyone. He had their lives in his hands. How could she bother him with something so trivial as people being mean to her?
She sighed. They never really...talked. They didn't have time. They...flirted, she thought. He took time to bring her chocolate. But as far as deep talks? She scoffed. Becker didn't get deep with anyone.
And maybe that's all she was to him: anyone. Maybe she wasn't special. Maybe he was just polite. Or maybe the extra attention she seemed to get was really over-protectiveness because he thought she was young and helpless.
Jess felt tears, but stubbornly refused to let them fall. She stared Fiona right back in the eye. "I can't talk about it."
Fiona growled. "Typical."
Jess snapped. "I don't want to talk about it! I'm sorry you're 'sick of hearing about him,' which isn't true! I don't talk about him or anyone or anything. I can't! You're all so lucky you can vent, well, I can't!"
She stood up, glaring at them all. Fiona glared back, Ling Li looked around uncomfortably, and Shandi looked at Jess with sympathy.
Then Jess burst into tears and ran into the ladies' room.
She grumbled when she got inside. "I knew it was a mistake to come. I knew I couldn't be normal. I can't have friends or family or...Becker."
She stood in front of the mirror, crying. The door opened and Shandi walked in.
"You OK?"
Jess nodded, sucking in sobs. "I'm so sorry."
"No, don't," said Shandi, hugging her. "We all have stuff. You're right, you can't talk about it."
Jess shook her head.
"Are you OK, though? I mean, Jess, is it too much, the pressure of the job?"
Jess looked up at Shandi and sighed. "Sometimes."
Shandi nodded. "Have you thought...about leaving?"
Jess sighed again and sobbed lightly. "I have. Sometimes I really want to." She hung her head.
"It's OK, honey."
"No, it isn't. I'm weak."
Shandi laughed slightly. "You're kidding, right? Let's just take a serious look at you, huh? You do your job and it's obviously hard on you. You stand up to Fi more than anyone. Maybe you take lip from idiots about your skirts but you don't stop wearing them. And if you like some bloke, even a thick one, you hang in there until you're sure he isn't worth it."
Jess laughed. "Are you sure that's me you're talking about?"
Shandi laughed, putting her arm around her. "You know it is."
Jess chuckled, wiping tears. "I don't really feel like I do, but..." she looked at her reflection and took a deep breath. "Yeah, I do know. It's me."
Shandi nodded. "Jess, if the job makes you unhappy..."
"It does. Sometimes." She thought of losing an innocent or an ARC member. She thought about the constant worry. She thought about the long hours, the horrible things she witnessed, the fear for her own life.
"You can leave," Shandi said.
Instantly Jess shook her head. She thought about the times they saved people, the times the teams came back unharmed, the looks of gratitude on faces, the times creatures were returned through the anomalies without harming anyone, the times Becker said she was brilliant.
She smiled and blushed. She sighed, this time with a little laugh. "I can't leave, Shandi. I...don't want to."
"Are you sure?"
Jess laughed louder. "No."
Shandi laughed too. "It's important to you, isn't it, this job?"
Jess nodded. "It's important period, and I can't let someone else do it. I can't pretend I don't know what's going on."
Shandi wrinkled her brow.
"Forget it, I can't say more."
Shandi chuckled, nodding. "I'm not asking for more. I'm not sure I want to know."
Jess didn't say "you don't." She just kept quiet.
"I'm not saying you should quit, Jess. I just...well, I care."
Jess laughed and hugged her tight. "I know you do. Thank you."
Shandi smiled. "And about this guy...is he worth it?"
Jess blushed and nodded.
"Then don't you give up, no matter how long it takes for him to get a clue."
Jess giggled. "I won't. You...don't give up either, not on Ollie or the kids."
Shandi sighed but smiled. "No, I won't. I can't either."
They smiled. Jess said, "But my...guy? He better smarten up soon."
Shandi laughed. "You could think like Fiona. Do something bold."
"I could," said Jess, biting her lip. "I might."
Shandi laughed. "Just remember Fiona goes too far, like tonight. She loves you too, you know."
"Yeah, I know. She's just a diva."
"She certainly is." They giggled.
Jess reapplied her makeup and Shandi fixed her hair for her. Then they rejoined the others.
"Jess, are you OK?"
"Yes, Ling Li, thanks," said Jess, sitting back down. "I'm sorry I got upset."
Fiona frowned. "No. I shouldn't have pushed. I sometimes forget the world isn't full of Fionas."
They giggled.
"Thankfully," said Ling Li.
Fiona laughed and nodded. "I do hate to be copied."
Jess burst out giggling. "Yeah, like your co-worker will soon discover."
"Oh, she will. I promise."
They all laughed. Then Jess' phone pinged. The others looked at each other. Jess read the message and sighed. "I'm so sorry, guys."
They groaned.
"Your job is the pits!" cried Fiona. "I know! You have some fashion sense, Jess. I'll get you a job with me!"
Ling Li and Shandi spit out their drinks.
Jess stared incredulously at Fiona. "Are you insane?" she asked with a chuckle. "I don't want to work with you!"
The other two laughed loudly. "You're kind of rough on co-workers, Fi," said Shandi.
Ling Li nodded. "You'd lose a good friend."
"You would," said Jess, going around and hugging each of them. "You don't need the competition. I have more than 'some' fashion sense, Fiona." She looked at her with a teasing smile. "Be good."
Fiona laughed. "No. I'm not on the job or at home with the folks, so why would I?" she asked with a smirk.
Jess laughed, shaking her head. "See you guys later, take care," she said.
"You too," said Ling Li.
"Be careful," called Shandi.
Fiona scoffed. "Jess? She's always careful. Why would you say that?"
Shandi watched the young woman leave. "I have a feeling that Jess has more on her plate than any of us can imagine."
Outside, Jess called the ARC. "What have we got?"
"Hey, Jess. Sorry to ruin your night."
She smiled, blushing all over. "It's OK, Becker. I don't want you going into a situation without me watching over you." She closed her eyes, cursing herself. "I mean, you and the team, obviously."
Becker chuckled. "Yeah. I don't want that either. Ever."
She smiled. "What's up?"
"Multiple anomalies, several incursions, two teams engaged with casualties..."
She groaned, a tight ball forming in the pit of her stomach. "I'll be right there. Are you moving out soon?"
"Right now. Lucky I caught you."
"Be careful, Becker. Please."
"I will. Get here quick, huh? I feel better when you're at the ADD."
She laughed. "As quick as possible, Becker."
"Again, I'm sorry about your plans."
"Don't be, Becker. This is my life. I wouldn't have it any other way." She pulled out of the club lot and drove as fast as legally possible to the ARC.
The End