Chapter Two

I looked in the mirror, not believing what I was seeing. The wedding gown was perfect. Absolutely perfect! It sparkled and shimmered in the light. It reminded me of Mister J.'s explosive personality. Beautiful (even if they are fake) white flowers adorned my dress, filled with gunpowder and set to send brilliant showers of red and white fireworks into the night sky on my wedding day. Ivy and I called them fire-flowers.

"Ain't it gorgeous, Ivy?" I said, twirling around in my new attire.

"You look beautiful," Ivy admitted. "But I still don't think the fire-flowers are safe."

I crossed my arms and pouted, "You don't think anything about this wedding is safe. Besides, where's the fun in being safe? I'm constantly in danger, Ivy! All the time! I've gone up against Batman! So will ya please lighten up?"

"Okay, well I'm sorry for being concerned for my best friend's life," Ivy retorted, then sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm just...not having the best week of my life. I'll try to have fun for your sake."

Just like a trusty boomerang, my smile returned once again, "So what've we got for food? The bachelorette party is in a week, I hope ya have something planned!"

"Forgive me if there aren't really any fruits or vegetables. I just can't stand to see anyone eating my babies," Ivy apologized.

"It's fine. Fruits and vegetables are boring anyway. I want somethin'-"

"Let me guess: explosive?"

"Somethin' like that..." I smirked and leaned in to whisper in Ivy's ear. As I told her what I wanted, she started to grin.

"Oh, Harley, that is bad."

The following night, I was sittin' in my little room in the abandoned amusement park we'd been living in while planning the wedding. In fact, the wedding was gonna be right here, in the amusement park. It was a rickety, dusty old place, but it worked. And once we decorated it with a little color and some lights, it would be as cheery and bright as it once was!

I heard a knock at the door, and sashayed across the creaking wooden floorboards to answer it.

"Is the soon-to-be-bride ready for a girls' night out?" came the muffled voice of Poison Ivy.

"Ivy!" I swung open the door and gave her a squeeze. "What do ya mean by 'girls' night out'?!"

"I figured there wouldn't be any harm in causing a little trouble..." Ivy suggested with a mischievous smile. "And we've both been so busy planning for the wedding. I think it's time we went out and had a little fun."

"Fun! That's my favorite word!" I squealed.

"Well, what are you doing just standing there? Let's get out there and stir up some commotion!"

"Yeah! Hey, let's get something to eat, first. I'm starved!"

"I know just the place..." Ivy smirked.

Two words: fancy restaurants. They sure are fun to mess around with. There are a ton of people in there, wearing fancy suits and dresses and jewelry and whatnot. And when Ivy and I crashed through a window, you should've seen the look on their faces! It was priceless!

"Let's liven up this place, Ivy!" I laughed as I tossed several bombs into the air. Sparks went flying and one guy's suit caught on fire. I was laughin' for at least five minutes straight, watchin' everyone try to put the fire out. They don't know the first thing about extinguishin' a flame. Not that I know either, because I'm usually the one that's makin' the fire!

Anyway, Ivy and I looted the restaurant, pigged out, and watched the place go up in flames. It was the best night I'd had in a long time! I don't think Ivy and I have had this much fun in forever!

And if I thought that was fun, I can't even imagine how fun this wedding's gonna be!

Of course, that's when Nightwing had to show up and crash the party. Ya know, that guy needs to learn how to have some fun.

"Nightwing," Ivy sighed and raised her arms as several thorny vines started to sprout from cracks in the sidewalk. They kept on growing, heading straight for Nightwing and threatening to catch him in their prickly grasp. "Well, since you're here anyway, why don't you come and give me a little kiss?"

"You two just can't stay out of trouble, can you?" Nightwing shook his head in disapproval.

"I've got a knack for causing trouble," Ivy replied as the hero nimbly dodge the vines.

I grinned. "Bashing some heads was all this night was missin'!"

"You aren't going to bash his lovely face until I get to kiss it, Harley," Ivy said. "After all...who knows what we could do with the famed Nightwing at our service?"

"Oooh, do you have some sort of new hypnotizing lipstick or somethin', Ivy? Whatcha got up your sleeve this time?" I asked eagerly.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Nightwing interjected, delivering a roundhouse kick to Ivy, causing her to stagger and fall. "Don't I get a say in this?"

"'Fraid not!" I shouted as I swung my hammer around to build up momentum, then flung it at Nightwing, disregarding Ivy's plan to seduce and hypnotize the hero. "Sorry, Ivy. I just gotta bash someone's face tonight or I'll explode!"

Nightwing leaped out of the way of my hammer, somersaulting through the air and landing behind me. By the time I turned around, Nightwing's fist was already in my face.

"Ow!" I rubbed my cheek and pouted. "Now that wasn't very nice."

He tried to deliver another blow, but I blocked it just in time, then performed several cartwheels to get to Ivy, "Um, Ivy? We're losin' this fight, and I prefer not to be in Arkham for my big day! Oops!" I covered my mouth, realizin' that I'd just given a big clue to Nightwing. "Sorry, Ivy. I guess now he's gonna go and report that to Bats..."

"Harley!" Ivy cried. "You're not helping!"

"Relax, Ivy," I whispered. "Mr. J. wants the B-man to show up, anyway."

"Let's just get out of this place..." Ivy sighed, and the vines enveloped us, taking us back to the abandoned amusement park.

"But what if Nightwing follows?" I asked.

"He would have a hard time doing that when there are poisonous spores threatening to contaminate the entire city," Poison Ivy smiled.

"Ha!" I laughed. "I wonder how that'll work out for 'im!"

I peeked through the vines as we rose higher into the air and towards the amusement park. Poisonous green clouds were already starting to spread throughout the city.

"Gee, Ivy, I sure hope that some people are still alive for my wedding!"