Dsiclaimer: The new, improved version of telling people I don't own One Piece or Ace Attorney. Internet access, instant chatting, fitted camera… oh man, these things are awesome.

Chapter 2

"Sank…chew…airy…" Luffy pronounced slowly. "Your next trial in is under the sea, can't just be swallowed, and isn't heavy?"

"You see, that would have been clever" Nami commented, leaning over the balcony, "if you didn't actually mean what you just said." The sunset was particularly beautiful that day, and the three original members of the Straw Hat Pirate crew had decided to take in the sights.

"Oro?" uttered Luffy.

"Wrong manga," Zoro commented, eyes shut tight.

"Sanctuary" Nami explained, "means safe-haven, like a place you go to be protected. Apparently, it's the name of the island that Foxy's latest escapade happened on."

"Eskimo?" Luffy inquired.

"Don't even bother" Zoro interjected before Nami could start to explain. "It's not worth the ensuing migraine." He opened one eye, and looked towards Luffy. "By the way, Luffy… are you sure you're alright with all of this?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Luffy asked cheerfully, bouncing slightly on the Thousand Suns figurehead. "I'm always up for adventure, you know!"

"Well, yeah…" Zoro shrugged. "But all of these trials we've had lately… aren't they cutting in to your becoming King of the Pirates?"

"Believe it or not, I actually did think of that" Luffy answered. "But then I figured, the King of the Pirates has to have the world's greatest lawyer, right? So I don't really mind all that much."

"That actually made perfect sense" Nami said, a little shocked. "Care to explain your logic on that one, Luffy?"

"The King of the Pirates has to have the best of everything, right?" Luffy asked in the form of a statement. "So if a lawyer is something you can have, then that counts too!"

"Thought so" Nami sighed. "Completely logical conclusion… completely inane reasoning."

"Who else but Luffy, right?" Zoro chuckled.

"Because you never really know what I'm gonna do next?" Luffy asked.

Zoro sighed. "Yes, Luffy. But we were trying to be subtle about it." He shook his head. "Where have all the good references gone?"

"And where are all the gods?"

"LUFFY!"

"Sorry…"

-Sanctuary. 11/02. 11:15 pm.

Sanctuary was an oxymoron wrapped in a contradiction, bathed in a paradox, slightly scented with an enigma, tied up in a class-action lawsuit, and locked up in a Chinese puzzle box that Jackie Chan doesn't figure out how to open until the end of the movie. On one hand, the island was as peaceful as the name suggested: being an autumn island the weather was calm, sometimes prone to light drizzles, and the air was cool and crisp. The majority of the island was set on a large, gently sloping hill, filled to the brim with oak, elm, fir, and ash trees… all in full autumnal display.

On the other hand, the very top of the hill had been forcibly made into a crater. Lined across this crater were thousands of cannons pointed in every conceivable direction, and within the crater itself there was an enormous town, populated entirely by current and retired pirates. It was here the first pirate tribunals had been held, and where the first great pirates of yore had crafted that sacred standard for all crews that sailed under the Jolly Roger: the Code.

Needless to say, to be practically begged to come to such a place was quite an honor indeed. To have your every action announced to you from afar? Well, that could get kind of annoying.

"And bearing down on the isle of Sanctuary we have the Straw Hat Pirates!" came Itomimizu's voice from afar. "They seem to approaching us at a speed of approximately twenty knots, and also seemed to have obtained an absolutely enormous new ship since last we met! Oh, the excitement! I wonder what it's name is? The Roaring Lion? The Mighty Rubber? The…"

"That's great, Itomimizu" the crew's idol, Porche commented, taking the mike briefly away from the Foxy Pirate's commentator. "But isn't there something more important we should be talking about right now, nyuah? Oh… and hi Choppy! I missed you!"

"Ahem… yes" Itomimizu said. "If we are correctly informed, the Straw Hat Pirate crew's very own Roronoa Zoro is, in fact, Gorgon Zolo, a defense attorney of recent notoriety who had never lost a case! With such a competent lawyer amongst us, the recent incidents of the past few days could very well shape up into the pirate tribunal of the decade!"

"And it would be the Straw Hat Pirates at the center of it all, nyuah?" Porche commented. "Oh! It looks like they're about to dock! Let's observe a moment of silence as our great captain, Foxy the Silver Fox, greets our contestants! Or… attorneys, nyuah?"

"Ah, that divine voice, that perfect symmetry of form, visible even from here!" Sanji cooed in his first line of the story. "I'M COMING SWEETY!" he yelled, throwing himself from the deck the minute the boat docked.

"She actually liked him," Nami recalled. "So we might not see him for a while…"

"Best news I've heard all day," Zoro said, groggily standing up from his twelve-hour napping post. He walked down the deck briefly, Nami in tow, and was greeted with a sort of awkward wave from Foxy. "Hey" the swordsman greeted gruffly. "So what did you get yourself into this time?"

Foxy became depressed, and fell down, just barely catching himself on his arms. "So that's how it is, huh? Something bad happens and you automatically assume it's me? Waaaah…."

"YOU KEPT THE FLAG!" Luffy yelled happily, looking over Sexy Fox (which was the name of the ship, for those of you who've forgotten). "Dude, that's awesome!"

"OR IN OTHER WORDS…" Foxy yelled, suddenly cheerful again.

"EXCELLENT!" they screamed in unison.

"Anyway…" Foxy grinned. "It certainly is a pleasure to see you all again! To be honest, I wasn't sure if the 'violation of the code resulting in death' thing was going to tri… I mean, convince you to come."

"We came because we expect to be paid" Nami stressed. "We know very well that refusing a tribunal doesn't break code… seeing as tribunals really don't exist anymore."

"Hey, don't look at me!" Foxy laughed. "Take the matter of financing up with the accused, not with me!"

"So the suspect isn't a member of your crew?" Zoro asked.

"Nope, not in any sense of the word" Foxy smiled. "Neither is the victim, if you were wondering why we seem in such high spirits with a murderer in our midst."

Why is it always a murder? thought Zoro.

"It's more intense and exciting right from the get go" Nami explained in a hushed tone of voice.

Ah… the mind reading gag. I missed you in chapter one. Not.

"Where is the accused being held?" Zoro asked curtly.

"See that gigantic bell tower over there?" Foxy said, pointing to a… well… a gigantic bell tower. "He's in there. Quiet guy, though. Easily depressed too, which is just something I can't stand in a man, you know?"

"You look like you've gained weight" said Zoro offhandedly.

"DO I REALLY???" Foxy wailed, dropping back down to the ground. "I… I know I've been overdoing the dark chocolate and limonade lately, but… waaaah…"

"Oh, cheer up, Foxy!" Nami said sweetly. "We still need to pump more information out of you, so you're not completely useless!"

"YAYZ!" Foxy yelled, rebounding with enviable speed. "Ask me anything! Go on! I'm a fountain of information… and youth! And chocolate!"

"And lard!" Zoro chimed in uncontrollably.

"Waaaaah…."

-Several emotional ups and downs later….

"Alright…" Foxy said, shaking slightly from all the bipolar mood swings he'd experienced. "We were in a Davy Back fight with another crew. Standard procedure, nothing particularly fancy." He pulled on the lapels of his coat, thrusting his chest out slightly. "We were playing fair and square as usual, when…."

OBJECTION!

"And there it is! Gorgon Zolo's legendary OBJECTION!" Itomimizu yelled. "A sure sign that the truth of this case is on its way to being revealed!"

"Sends shivers down your spine, nyuah?" commented Porche. "A voice like that has to belong to a strong, yet cultured and incredibly attractive man…"

"DAMN…. YOU… ZORO!!!!" came Sanji's voice from afar.

Zoro paused for a moment, making sure the commentary had died down, and continued. "Yeah… you were cheating. Just so you know, it's best not to lie about anything in these sorts of situations. Makes everything that much easier."

"You didn't… believe… me?" Foxy moped, back on the ground.

"No… but you didn't expect us to, did you?" Nami asked.

"OF COURSE I DIDN'T!" Foxy sprung back up. "Why would I expect… wait…" He paused. "Oh… now I don't know how I'm supposed to feel…"

"Happy" Nami suggested.

"Happy it is, then!" Foxy cheered. "Anyway, the details of the crime still haven't been released to most of us. All I know is that after the Groggy Ring competition, I went to meet with the captain about which crewmate he'd lose next, and…" He slumped over slightly, but not in his usual depressed state. "He was kind of… dead. From what, I don't know… but it probably had something to do with his head being caved in."

"That's as good a place to start as any" Zoro nodded. "I suppose we'll head in now. Luffy, did you want to come?"

"Are you kidding?" the captain laughed. "It's a new town! Food! Adventure! Food! … Food!" He paused for a minute, trying to think of something else to say, and then shrugged and ran off.

"It's the simple people in life you treasure, I suppose" Zoro laughed, striding towards the bell tower.

Alright, place ya bets, place ya bets! Who's the rival crew? Who was murdered? Who's the suspect? I'll give you a hint, the rival crew, victim, and suspect are all canon characters, so you can guess anyone from the manga! Before the whole 'Ace is going to die' arc. Winner gets… winner stuff!