Okay, back with crack! No, I am not actually on crack. I don't need it. I GET HIGH OFF AIR!!!!! AND COFFEE!!! AND SUGAR!!! ON WITH THE INSANITY!
Ok, review responses:
WhiteLadyDragon: count on it, pal. Thanx for putting this in Brain Damage.
XxSanda-Nekoxx: no crap. Sorry, but I very much despise Aster, no offense to you. Sy's fine. Thanx. This chappie's better. And yes, Zane is violent.
Refer to previous chapter for info.
Chapter 2"Hey, Zane?" Atticus asked. "Why did you bring your girlfriend? I thought this was just the old crowd."
"You hypocrite; you wanted to bring Jasmine even though she told you no, and Chazz brought… well, Daphne dragged him here more than he brought her, but still…"
"I'm in pain," Chazz said dazedly. I turned around in time to see Daphne throw away a stick and start whistling innocently.
"Did you just hit your boyfriend with a branch?" I asked cautiously.
"Whatever would give you that idea?" she asked, making innocent-chibi-eyes.
"Uhh…never mind," I said. "Never make those eyes again; they scare me."
Zane, meanwhile, was attempting to show Atticus and Jaden how to set up a tent while Atticus attempted to fence Jaden with a tent pole. The latter of the two had just been concussed with said tent pole. Three seconds later, Zane concussed Atticus with selfsame metal object and proceeded to set up the tent himself.
"Why did I even try?" he muttered to himself.
Chazz proceeded to spin rapidly in circles, banging his head into every tree he passed and singing something in French. Loud French.
"Chazz knows French?" I asked, confused.
"No," Daphne replied, equally baffled. "No he doesn't. I think he may be brain-damaged."
"Well whose fault is that?"
Alexis, Syrus, Daphne and I watched the chaos. The brain-damaged Spazz continued singing what was now recognizable as "Do You Know the Muffin Man?" but still in French, until Zane got sick of it after the 437th time and whacked Chazz with the fire extinguisher that had suddenly appeared out of thin air.
"That," Zane said, "is highly enjoyable, even for me." Daphne decided that now was the time to poke Chazz with a stick.
"FROMAGE!!!" Chazz suddenly screeched, then flopped on the ground with his face in a mud puddle.
"Did he just scream 'cheese' in French?" Zane asked me.
"I think so. That's one of the few French words my dad taught me. How did you know?" I inquired.
"I picked up some French when my parents took us. Probably what I remember best is Mom trying to feed a five-year-old Syrus snails. They gave up with me when I threw one at Dad's head. Anyway, yeah, that's how I knew what that meant." My brain had stopped working after the fourth sentence.
"You threw a snail at your dad's head?" I asked incredulously.
"Is there a problem with that? I didn't want to eat snails, thank you very much," he said.
"Uhh… I guess not," I admitted. "You just don't really seem the type to chuck crustaceans at your father."
"Hey, I was seven, okay?" Zane protested.
"Fine. Did you get the tents set up?"
"Oui, ma cherie."
"Stop that. Speak English, will you? You're hard enough to understand in my native tongue," I complained. I knew what it meant, but seriously, would it kill Zane to talk normally for once in his life?
"Yes. That comprehensible to you?"
"GAAH! You're doing it again! I mean, yes, I know what 'comprehensible' means, but it's hardly part of your average dialect!"
"You do it too. Dialect? And crustacean? Since when are those part of daily conversation? I mean, to someone like Chazz, it's almost as bad as phantasmagorical," Zane remarked casually, unaware (or was he?) that he had just reduced Jaden and Chazz's brains to ashes.
"BIG WORDS THEY BURN!!!!!!!!!!" Chazz shrieked, the use of big words snapping him out of his French streak. "Stop poking me!" he snapped at Daphne, who was still poking him with a stick.
"Never!" she cried, poking harder.
"Emma…" Zane began.
"What?"
"Atticus is on fire."
"Oh—wait, what?!"
"Atticus. Is. Flaming."
"Why?"
"I think he poked the propane cylinder with a tent pole. His hair is on fire."
Atticus was indeed on fire and running around like a madman, screaming his head off. Alexis was chasing him with a bucket of ice water.
"Pretty colors," said Chazz, pointing at Atticus's flaming head.
"Okay…" I said. "I suppose asking either of them to help build the campfire is a bad idea."
"You think?" Syrus asked. "I'll help."
"Can you be trusted with fire?" I asked skeptically.
"More than Atticus or Chazz," Zane said.
"Not comforting. Anyone can be trusted more than Chazz or Atticus."
"Syrus can be trusted with fire. Not a pyro. He couldn't be. Mom and Dad could not be trusted with fire."
"Can you? Just need to make sure that the one thing weird about you isn't a fixation with great leaping flames. I mean, I'm a pyro, but I'm somewhat controlled. You are, right?" I asked tentatively.
"Yes, Emma. I like fire, sure, but I'm not about to burn the forest down and laugh like an idiot about it. That's Chazz's thing."
"Good. You guys make a fire, I'll help Alexis put her brother out. And stop Chazz from eating that squirrel."
Chazz was indeed attempting to capture a squirrel. A rabid squirrel. Daphne, seeing said squirrel (ALLITERATION POLICE!), picked up the fleeing rodent and flung it at Chazz's head, where it scrambled madly, screeched, and savaged the poor spaz's face.
By working together and cornering Atticus, Alexis and I managed to dump the bucket of ice water on him and shut him up. Alexis proceeded to beat the crap out of her brother to release stress.
And Jaden tried to hug the squirrel currently attacking Chazz's head. Needless to say, both squirrel and spaz attacked the boy in red, who was rescued by a very peeved Alexis.
End ChapterCheck in for chappie 3! How'd you like this one? Review or Daphne shall eat you. Or Meagan will give you to the monkey who will take you to China. Don't ask. By the way, I borrowed Alliteration Police and "Big words they burn!" from Shrilanka-san, author of Those Crazy Obelisks. Don't hurt me.