The Neighbor, Lillian
"Divorced and remarried? Oh, please," I remember hearing Sharon say that years and years ago, the day she moved away and stopped being my next-door neighbor. My name is Lillian, and I lived next door to Sharon and Jack, really just Sharon, for over 20 years. I was given the place of honor at this wedding, front row, right where the bride's family would sit. Wow, the bride's family. I suppose I am like family, and with Sharon's parents being much too old to travel and in an assisted living facility out of state, I guess I am her family. I have known Sharon longer than Ricky or Emily have even been alive. I've seen it all with her, and this day, this moment, it just makes me want to sit here and smile.
I first met Sharon when she and Jack bought the house next door, now over 30 years ago. It was a middle-class neighborhood, still is, but the homes and most of the people, are much older. Back then, the houses were all around 10 years old, not brand new, but new enough. Housing prices back then were reasonable, even for L.A. My husband, Earl, and I had moved in two or three years before Sharon and Jack bought the place. Oh, I still remember meeting them that first day. They were so excited. Earl and I were out doing yard work when the young couple pulled up in their older car. I turned at the sound of a car door opening, and my eyes first turned on Jack. He was so young back then with his dark hair, and I remember watching him run around to the passenger door to open it for Sharon. She stepped out, and I remember covering my mouth at the surprise. I wanted to run to help her; she was very, very pregnant, and Jack had to help her up out of the car because it was so low to the ground. They were delighted, and once she was out of the car, I watched as the two stood there, smiling, at their house. I was just glad to get a new neighbor; the former one had not been pleasant and had moved away to be closer to family. As I watched that young couple, stand there, hand in hand, I smiled and prayed they would have a lifetime of happiness.
I remember clicking with Sharon instantly, even though I'm just a little older than she is and never had kids of my own. Earl and I wanted children; children were never in the cards, but I did have children-just in the form of Emily and Ricky-in and out of my house for years. No, that first day, Earl and I waved to Sharon and Jack as they stood there looking at their house. I remember turning to Earl and telling him that I needed to make some food to take over to that poor woman who looked miserable in the June heat. With the two of us being in the middle of yard work, we didn't rush over that minute, but we did finish up our work for the day, and I went into the house to see what I could make in the way of food. I continued to check on them from my house, during the day, and after two hours, I was certain they were staying for good. I watched Jack unload a few things from the car, and I watched Sharon stand on the porch and talk to Jack as he did so. Not long after that, I saw Jack get into the car, leave, and return with takeout food. After seeing that, I got back to work in my kitchen, intent on finishing the kettle of soup I had thrown together. To go with it, I remember baking a batch of brownies. It wasn't much, but it was something. Funny, it turned out to be Sharon's favorite dessert.
Later that afternoon, when the soup and brownies were ready, Earl and I walked across the lawn to greet our new neighbors. I don't remember everything that was said, but I remember the smile on Sharon's face. I remember seeing her so excited and so in love. She told us the baby was due in a month, and I don't think she took her hands off that stomach of hers while we spoke to them; she was so excited for that baby to arrive. Back then, it was different. People didn't know the gender like they know now, so I remember asking her if they had a room and color scheme picked out for the nursery. They walked us through the house, pointing out things here and there until we reached the small, yet cozy bedroom. "It's already yellow," she grinned and shrugged. I still remember that. She told me it was a sign, a sign they were to live in that house with their new baby. With the yellow, she said she planned to decorate it with either touches of pink or touches of green depending on a girl or a boy. Jack, at least then, seemed like a decent man. He was attentive to Sharon and very proud they had just bought a home. That first day, we learned Jack had just graduated from law school and had been offered a job at a very good firm in the city. Sharon had been working on the police force then for a couple years. I remember asking what she did on the force, thinking that she meant she worked in an office or some department-something, anything, but being an actual police officer. Something about her, it just didn't seem to fit then. Maybe it was the fact that she was so young, beautiful, and just so pregnant that I didn't see her as a police officer, not that those are disqualifies. No, it just didn't dawn on me, and I remember asking her what she did on the force- "I'm a police officer," she nodded and smiled at me, as if there was any question. In that moment, something told me we would be the very best of friends. She was progressive, edgy, and just the type of neighbor I wanted. In that moment, even with everything changing in her life, she didn't seem to need anyone to help her.
Oh, how that changed. It didn't change right away, but it did over the years. No, at first, Sharon and I just got to talking each day out on our lawns. They were new to the neighborhood, and three weeks after moving in, little Emily arrived. That put Sharon home alone with her right away-a new mom in a new neighborhood. She said she didn't have a lot of close friends. She worked long hours and wasn't particularly close to her fellow officers. Friends she knew through Jack had moved away after law school or were busy with their own families, so the two of us grew close quickly. I was home alone too, as Earl was a banker, and I was a teacher. I was home back then a lot in the summer. Now, teachers have crazy schedules and don't have the set summer schedule I did. So, with Sharon home with Emily, she and I grew closer. I remember taking food over to them again the day they brought Emily home from the hospital. Yes, I've known Emily since she was born and was one of the first to hold her. Sharon had that new parent look, one I only recognize from friends and never experienced myself. I didn't know what to say or do, but I told Earl that I wanted to help Sharon. So, I did what I could. I showed up a couple days later with a brand-new stroller. They had not bought one yet. The new house had zapped a lot of their expenses, and Emily was a week early too, so I bought them one. I remember standing on Sharon's front porch with it, "I know you didn't buy a stroller yet. The salesclerk said this is the best one. I also know you mentioned that you have to get back into shape for work, so I though we could start with this. I thought we could start walking with Emily. If you are up for it, we could walk even several times a day, nothing crazy, just around the block to start, but I'd love to walk with you if you want." Oh, Sharon teared up that day. I know she was feeling the new mom exhaustion, but she nodded, and an hour later (because it did take her that long to get Emily ready for her first outing-just a walk around our own block), we started our first walk. Those walks continued, and they grew. Yes, the walks had to change when I went back to work for the school year and again when Sharon went back to the police department, but she and I walked for years. I cherish those walks even today. Oh, the conversations we had on those walks-you can't even imagine.
I could tell things with Jack were going downhill before Ricky was born. Jack started off as the doting father with Emily. Sure, he was extremely busy with his new law career, but when he was home, he was with Sharon and Emily. They took a lot of walks; it became the thing to do in our neighborhood. I would see them out together. He built a sandbox for Emily in the backyard long before she could sit up; he was a loving parent excited about his new family. He painted her room pink before she was two because she fell in love with the pink ballerina bunny I gave her for Christmas. My first clue that something was wrong came from Sharon. We were walking one evening, as it was summer again that year. Emily had just turned two in July, and I remember this walk took place just a week or so after her birthday.
"I'm pregnant," Sharon had told me in a matter of fact tone that night. I remember stopping and looking at her, almost unsure of the tone in her voice. Instead of looking at me right away, Sharon stared off in the distance, and it was then, I knew something was wrong.
"Pregnant? Sharon, that's wonderful, right?" I said as I still remember smiling at her, trying to gauge her reaction. She was a wonderful mother already, and I remember being so impressed with how she balanced work and motherhood. She had talked about having more children, but she wasn't sure how to time it with work.
"Hmm, yes, it is," she told me then. "You know I would love a lot of children, but," and that is when she started to cry. Thankfully, Emily was occupied with her snack and doll, seated in the stroller. Sharon even apologized to me through her sobs, "I'm sorry! You can't have kids, and I'm here crying."
The two of us talked a lot that evening. She told me about Jack, well, everything she had tired to keep to herself for months. While we had been sharing a lot by this point in our friendship, she'd not spoken negatively about Jack. Things changed that night; she needed someone to listen, and I was it. Sharon told me she suspected Jack had been cheating on her. She also told me that he was coming home later and later, and he seemed to be drinking a lot more. The drinking started as a social thing, and it went downhill from there. I can still see it and hear the conversation from that evening. Sharon, with her toddler in tow, stood there crying and clutching her still flat stomach. I remember walking her back to her house where I bathed Emily and got her into bed while I sent Sharon to her room for a hot shower. Then, because again, Jack was not home, I sat with her and talked with her for hours. I told her I would be there for her, and I was.
Over the next few months, I saw the marriage get worse. Jack tried to pull himself together for the sake of the new baby. I could tell Sharon just wanted to keep her beautiful family together. She didn't ask Jack about the cheating. I don't think she wanted a verbal confirmation, even though, deep down, she knew. I knew too. You could just see it in his demeanor; he changed. Even with that, he was excited about another baby at first, but then, the stress of work compounded with two small children and a working wife seemed to get to him. Ricky was not an easy baby, and that didn't sit well with Jack. He cried a lot and didn't sleep much. It was all Sharon could do to hold it together with Jack disappearing more and more. As Sharon does, though, she pulled herself together, and by the time she went back to work after her maternity leave, she seemed better and more focused even though things with Jack were not improving. Jack finally left just after Ricky's first birthday, and that was when Sharon really had to start leaning on me more than she had.
Sharon has never been one to ask for help, at least that is how it would appear. I think she has just learned to do things on her own. I helped her a lot back in the day. Sometimes she asked, whether it was to watch the kids for a couple hours or to help with a broken item in the house, and sometimes, Earl and I just walked across the yard, took the kids, and told her to take a couple hours to herself. I loved helping with those kids. They were like my own. I kept them for Sharon many, many times when she was called into work at odd hours. I tagged along with Sharon to their recitals, plays, performances, and ball games somewhat so she didn't have to go alone and also because I somewhat saw them as my own children too. Earl and I attended their high school and college graduations, and we've visited them now as adults. Emily gave us a reason to visit New York for the first time, and now, we've been to see her perform several times. Ricky, to this day, is our computer go-to person; I've been known to call him when I can get things to work at the house.
Speaking of our homes, Earl and I started to wonder how long Sharon would stay in that house and married to Jack. We didn't want her to move, but we did want her to divorce Jack. Yes, we knew her religious beliefs were a factor; we weren't Catholic but were Protestants who shared the same beliefs. Still, we wanted Sharon and the kids to be happy; they deserved that, and Jack did not make them happy. Year after year went by, and the kids settled into school. That home was their home. Jack showed up once or twice a year, but he never seemed to stay in town long. Sharon wouldn't allow it then-at least for Jack to stay at the house-because she didn't want to upset or confuse the kids. I know she was torn. I also knew she gave Jack a lot of guidelines IF he wanted to return home. He never met them. He always left town before he even attempted to do what she had asked. Whenever Jack blew into town, she normally took a day or two off work, and I would see Jack show up during the day at the house. He'd usually stay all day and leave before the kids came home. I don't know exactly what happened on those visits, whether they fought about things or what. I can guess. Sharon still loved him, deep down. I am sure a lot happened on those visits. She took time off work, and they were still married. I'm sure they also argued about this life he was living. Whatever happened, it was messy and would leave Sharon an emotional mess for days after he left. It wasn't my business, and I knew Sharon would talk to me if she needed a friend. Sometimes, she did talk. I didn't pry. I knew he always left a letter, a letter she grew to hate. I'm sure she gave him money too, at least early on, but even that stopped eventually. The visits got fewer and fewer, and finally, Jack just started missing larger events. Sharon was tight-lipped about divorcing Jack; she had filed for legal separation when the kids were still young after he cleaned out her bank accounts on one of his visits. Earl and I figured the house was one of the issues that kept her from moving. It was in both of their names and selling it would cause problems with Jack. When Emily graduated from high school, Earl and I had a feeling Sharon would stay until Ricky graduated. The two could have moved earlier than that because the kids were in private school, but we just had a feeling Sharon wanted to stay for the sake of the kids. We knew she would deal with Jack, but we figured she didn't want to do so until the kids were out of the house. Sharon did finally move after the kids graduated, but not from high school. She waited until both graduated from college, until they were out of the house and on their own, before she put the family home up for sale. Earl and I hoped the divorce would come with the sale of the house. No, it didn't happen, but I do remember suggesting it to her the day she finally moved away from me.
"Sharon, I have known you for decades now. I want you to be happy. You have two grown children, but that does not mean your life is over, not in the least. You are in the prime of your life. I know you don't want to think about divorce, but I would love to see you divorce Jack and even remarry. Now, you know me, and I don't think a woman has to be married to be happy, but you, Sharon, you deserve a man who loves you. You love being married, and I want you to find a wonderful man."
Sharon's response, still, sticks in my mind, ""Divorced and remarried? Oh, please." She laughed and shook her head at me, telling me that she was perfectly content in her life. Sharon then hugged me and told me she was happy. She moved away that day; she moved to her lovely condo on the other side of town, and since then, while we don't see each other each day, we have remained close. The first few years after she moved, we got together at least once a month, but as things happen, work and other commitments got in the way. Then, her job changed, and even I started to believe she was going to stay married to Jack and her job. It wasn't long after she took over Major Crimes I received an interesting phone call from her.
"I have some news," she said into the phone.
"Sharon, Jack?" I remember asking her.
"Jack, oh, no," she chuckled. "I know that would make your day, mine too, but no."
"Is it something with one of the kids?" I asked.
"No, but I want you to meet Rusty," she said in her cryptic tone.
"Rusty? There's a man in your life?" I asked her.
"Ahh, yes, and he has really thrown me for a loop," she started to chuckle as she told me.
Well, after getting her to explain her cryptic tone, Sharon invited Earl and me over for dinner to meet Rusty. That first meeting, oh, he was a handful. It reminded me of our younger years, being there for Sharon with her kids. Earl and I left dinner that night, and we both said that Sharon would never let Rusty go. We were right, and we have once again, enjoyed watching one of Sharon's children grow up in every sense of the word. Earl and I hate we've missed some of Rusty's big moments, his graduation and adoption, but we were unavailable for both things. For his graduation, we were out of town for a family funeral, and when Sharon finally adopted Rusty, we were in New York to see Emily perform. So, yes, we've also known Rusty now for several years, and we were right to say that Sharon wouldn't let him go. We were also right when we finally met Andy, to know that he would be the one who would capture Sharon's heart.
After Sharon took in Rusty, our monthly get-together slowed down considerably. Some of that was due to Rusty, and some was due to her new job because both things had happened at the same time. We got a Christmas card from her that winter with a long, handwritten note on it about wanting to put forth more effort to see each other. So, we did. That spring, we resumed our monthly meals, but then, issues with Rusty started to come up, nothing from Sharon, but from his court appearance, and that put things on the back burner. I remember getting together with her in July, and I know exactly the date because it was the first mention of Andy.
"I went to a wedding last night," she grinned at me while we were both enjoying a glass of wine on her balcony. Earl and Rusty were inside where the two would play chess when we would get together.
"Whose wedding?" I remember asking her.
"Ahh, well, you don't know her or anyone from the wedding for that matter. I went with one of my detectives," she shrugged. I could tell something seemed off with the statement.
"You went on a date to a wedding with one of your detectives? That doesn't sound like you," I told her.
"No, no," she swatted at me. "It wasn't like that. He's ahhh, he needed some support," she shrugged.
"At a wedding? How does a guy need support at a wedding? Dates are not required," I pointed out to her.
"Oh, well, he was the father of the bride," she said casually and took another sip of her wine.
"You went to a wedding with the father of the bride?" I remember almost yelling, wanting more details than she was giving me.
"Friends," she shrugged. "He was having a hard time with it. The ex-wife is a piece of work, and he wasn't even wanting to go. I might have, in my own way, suggested he go, and then I offered to go with him, as support."
"Tell me the name of this friend," I said as I remember leaning toward her, intent on interrogating her.
"His name is Andy, Andy Flynn," she nodded. "We had a great time."
From that moment on, Andy's name came up in conversation. Now, most of those initial conversations, I brought up his name, but it didn't take long until Sharon started mentioning him before I even could do so. Earl and I knew he was special. She had a look about her when she spoke of him, and that ballet that winter, well, she was hooked. It's almost as if Andy was enough to hook her, but then those grandsons were the golden ticket. Sharon just beamed about them, and after Christmas, Andy became more and more the focal point of our conversations.
I used to tease her about Andy, and being the friend I was, I could do that. She knew he was a good man, and we talked about his past often. His alcoholism was not an issue for her, and I think that is due to his being sober so long. Yes, we discussed he could always relapse, but she could tell he was different from Jack, different in so many ways. Sharon didn't take Andy's drinking lightly, but she trusted him. News that she had finally filed for divorce didn't surprise me, but I knew that she did want to adopt Rusty, and while she wouldn't admit it to others, I knew she wanted to free herself up to properly date Andy. No, the divorce wasn't all about Andy; it wasn't all about Rusty either. Finally, she'd had enough, and when that was finalized, it was like a huge weight had been lifted from Sharon. Finally, she was free to live her life. When we would get together, if Earl was included, I started to just include Andy too. We finally met Andy at a Dodger game just after her divorce was finalized. It was almost as if she was hiding him until she was free to introduce him to her family and friends. We liked him instantly, and he and Earl spent the game talking stats. That next day, Sharon and I had a lengthy phone call, and Andy was the only topic of discussion.
Once again, it didn't surprise Earl or me that it took until later that next summer for Sharon to actually admit to dating Andy. The kids made fun of the two of them. Oh, it was awful, but we were careful to not call it anything until she told us that summer that the two were dating. From that point on, things got busy with work again, and then Andy got hurt. I could hear it in Sharon's voice, the panic and the love. I encouraged her to speak to Andy about her feelings, but she just kept telling me she needed to sort things out. I pushed little, telling her she knew what she felt, but she should not run from it. It wasn't until after his surgery that I could hear the change in her voice. Sure, Sharon had held it together in front of her team, but when she called me, she finally broke down that night. We had been serving the Thanksgiving meal at a homeless shelter, and Sharon had told us to stay and focus on that. Later that night, she finally called to update us.
"He's out of surgery, and he's going to be okay," she said and started to cry.
"Sharon, we can come over there to the hospital right now," I told her.
"No, my team is still here. I'm okay, just taking a moment for myself," she sighed. "I almost lost him."
"You didn't though, and I think you know what you need to do. If you love someone, tell them, Sharon," I encouraged her.
"I know," she said simply. "I know."
That was as much as I got from her about that. I never heard the exact moment she told him, or he told her, but I would put money on it being that night. I looked at Earl when I got off the phone with her, and I remember telling him, "She's going to marry him. He's her true love."
So, yes, it wasn't a surprise when she called me to say they had gotten engaged. We went to dinner with them a few nights after the engagement, and she was just glowing. I think it was even more special because we were some of the only people to know. They had told the kids and Andy's friend, Provenza, knew too, but otherwise, they had kept their secret. She wore her ring, saying how nice it was to wear it. The two were hoping to surprise their team at work, and Sharon had not been wearing the ring there. I think back to that night, and that was the happiest I have seen Sharon in decades. That is saying a lot. She's had a lot to be happy about over the years with the kids, but that night, I could see love, peace, joy, and contentment. Sharon was happy.
As I sit here now, I have a feeling I will see an even more radiant Sharon come down that aisle. The kids are excited. Ricky was waiting for me at the back of the church, and he made sure to tell me where I was to sit. I'm touched. I'm so touched to have this place of honor. Andy is here, in front of me, looking so happy. I almost can't believe this day has come. We've come a long way from the new neighbors to the "never getting married" comment. I look at these kids, all three of them, and I know I have watched them grow up over the years. I held two before they were a week old, and the third, well, I met him right after he came to Sharon too. Families are special and unique. I'm so happy to be included in Sharon and Andy's family.