A/N: While writing this story, I've been collecting songs into a playlist for this story. Once that's done, I might see if I can post a link into that YouTube list somewhere, but for now I'll just add an A/N at the start of every chapter I have a song for. Feel free to suggest your own ideas, if you have any songs in mind, especially when you see that I haven't given a song already.

For this chapter I chose the song I Gotta Go by Sunrise Avenue

Sara's POV

The faint sound of my steps echoed from the walls as I strolled around hallways of the White Tower. I had a destination, but it was still a bit too early for me to go there, so I took my time walking these familiar, homely hallways. The whole time I pondered how I was going to explain to the Amyrlin Seat what was on my mind.

Then a bell rang somewhere, indicating that it was finally time for me to go and see the Amyrlin.

I wasn't that far away for her study so I was in front of the door before I even noticed it. Taking a deep breath I knocked on the door, still not quite sure what I would say to her.

"Come in", a female voice called from inside.

She'll understand. I thought and opened the door.

I walked into a familiar fusion of study and entrance hall that served as Keeper's study. The Keeper herself raised her head to look who had come in.

"Ah, Sarainya Sedai", she said, "Amyrlin is waiting for you."

"Thank you, Gitara Sedai." I answered and bowed my head. Even though I was much stronger in Power, Gitara Moroso's status as the Keeper of the Chronicles made her second to most influential woman in the White Tower, possibly in the whole world, and so she enjoyed a great amount of respect inside the Tower.

Gitara stood up and went to another door in the room. She opened it and peeked in.

"Mother, Sarainya Sedai has arrived."

"Let her in."

I walked into Amyrlin Seat's study, which was much larger than Keeper's one. The Amyrlin Seat Tamra Ospenya got up behind her desk and reached her right hand out for me.

"Mother", I murmured before kissing her Great Serpent ring.

"Daughter", she answered. Then she smiled, "enough of formalities?"

"Enough of formalities", I confirmed smiling. Then we hugged each other.

"My dear friend, it's been far too long. How are you?" I asked.

Tamra's shoulders slumped.

"You can't imagine." She said tiredly. "Laman – you know, the King of Cairhien – has got an idea that he will make himself a new throne out of Avendoraldera. No need to mention that I have tried to get him to drop out that idea."

"Out of Avendoraldera?" I asked disbelievingly.

"Yes indeed. Kingship seems to have risen to his head." Tamra said.

"What else is in this?" I asked, for Tamra's tone indicated very clearly this wasn't about Laman's foolishness only.

"Gitara has Foretold that if Laman cuts Avendoraldera, he'll enrage the Aiel. They'll want revenge for disrespect of gift given by their ancestors. There will be war."

"I have to say that if this happens, I can't blame the Aiel…" I murmured. But it made sense; the sapling of Avendesora, Tree of Life, had been a gift from Aiel to Cairhienin people. It was only logical that making a throne out of it would enrage Aiel.

"Neither can I, truth to be told."

"Have you been successful in your attempt to bring Laman around?"

Tamra sighed. "No, I haven't. And I'm not sure if I will. But that's enough of that. What was it you wanted to speak about?"

It was my turn to sigh.

"You remember when I told you about that unidentified uneasy feeling I've had since soon after the day I gained my shawl?"

Tamra nodded slowly.

"I've found out the reason for that feeling."

"And it is?"

"I don't want to be Aes Sedai anymore."

"What?" Tamra asked. "But you said that was always your deepest desire."

"So I thought." I said. "And it's not quite that simple. Please, sit down. I'll explain you all of it."

We sat down and I explained Tamra all the reasons I've come up with. She listened silently.

"I see." She said when I finished my explanation. "When are you going to leave?"

"You – you aren't going to stop me?" I asked.

"My dear Sara", Tamra said, "it is true that I am Amyrlin Seat, and I could order you to stay. But I'm also – and more importantly – your friend. What kind of friend I was if I forced you to stay against your own will?"

I smiled a relieved smile.

"Thank you, Tammie."

I knew she would understand.

"So, when are you leaving?"

"This evening."

Tamra looked shocked but she recovered fast.

"Right… and where are you going?"

This was going to be the hardest part.

"I don't know." I whispered, not looking at Tamra. "I planned that I would go through that ter'angreal in the storage. You know it, that one which opens doors into other worlds."

I glanced at Tamra. She looked heartbroken.

"So you are going to leave this world behind? We can't keep in touch?"

"Yes. I can't escape from people of this world. They would treat me like an Aes Sedai. And if I say that I'm not Aes Sedai, they might think I'm a Darkfriend, if they don't already think so, because I definitely look like an Aes Sedai and am supposedly unable to lie."

"I understand. This is just – we've been friends for over a century, it's hard to imagine I would never see you again."

"I know. This is hard for me too. And believe me, if you weren't who you are, I would've asked you to come with me. But as Amyrlin Seat you are needed here, especially if Laman manages to get Aiel to start a war."

"I am going to miss you. And all the Accepted and novices will, too. You are their favourite teacher."

I smiled.

"I suppose I am."

"What shall I say to other Sisters? You are the most powerful Aes Sedai the Tower has had in very long time. Your absence will be noticed."

I was silent for a moment. I had already explained this to my other friends, but what indeed should be told to other Aes Sedai? Because Tamra was right; my absence would be noticed.

"You can say that I went into a ter'angreal and never came out, can't you? That's not so far from actual truth and everyone knows that I love to examine them, so it wouldn't sound too strange either."

Tamra nodded.

"I can say that."

"Good."

"Have you ever thought that you should have picked Brown instead of Green?" Tamra asked suddenly.

"Never. Even though I love books and examining things I couldn't do it all the time. My heart yearns for adventures."

Tamra nodded. "So I've thought."

"Why to ask it then?"

"Because I don't have that chance tomorrow anymore."

I smiled sadly at Tamra. Then without a single word said we both stood up and stepped towards to embrace each other.

"I'm really going to miss you." Tamra said.

"And I'm going to miss you. More than anything."

"When you go into the storage you can take any sa'angreal you want with you."

"Can I?" I asked, astonished.

"Yes, you can. If my memory serves me right I remember that you were always fascinated by Caraola's ring. So if you want, you can take it. And you don't know what kind of world you are going into, you might need it."

I smiled. "Thank you, Tammie."

"You're welcome, my friend."

It was late in the night, several hours after I had spoken with Tamra. I was reading a list I had written, checking I surely had packed everything. I had three sets of clothes, not dresses but tunics and trousers instead, light cloak and fur cloak, in case winter was coming soon to the world I was going into, sewing kit and everything else I could possibly need in nearby future.

When I was sure I had everything necessary packed, I fetched a drawing of my family, small wooden figures which represented my family members and necklace Mother and Father had bought for me when they heard I was accepted in the White Tower. It was very beautiful necklace. There were small emeralds in it; it had been clear from the start that I'd choose the Green Ajah.

That time seemed to be several eternities ago.

Just like the day I had lost my family.

I felt a wave of sadness wash over me, like every time I thought about my family. I really missed them, even though I knew I had no right to. If only things had gone different way…

I lifted pack from my bed and walked to the door of my premises. Before I went out I took one more look around. It felt weird to think that I wasn't coming back here. Yes, I had been gone long times, but I had always come back. And after my Warder died I had stayed here. This was more like home to me than any place I had stayed in after I came to the White Tower at the age of seventeen. Finally I stepped out and closed door behind me for one last time.

I faced only a few servants on my way to the angreal storage. Even at daytime hallways of White Tower seemed empty because of the small number of Aes Sedai living in the Tower but at night time… it seemed like there really was no one else. And I was going to reduce that number with one more.

It was almost relieving when I reached the storage door.

It was as fascinating as every time I walked in. All those different shaped items were on the shelves in precise order, each of them accompanied with small piece of paper informing whether that item was angreal, sa'angreal or ter'angreal. I headed towards the part where ter'angreals too big to be contained in shelves were.

On my way I stopped in front of one shelf. On the level with my eyes was very beautiful, two-parted ring. It was made of silver-like substance, only it was much stronger than pure silver, and was covered mostly with beautiful white moonstones. In the middle of moonstones in the lower part was one emerald. The piece of paper under it said "Caraola's sa'angreal".

Name comes from the Age of Legends, when Aes Sedai still knew how to make angreal, sa'angreal and ter'angreal. This particular sa'angreal was made for Aes Sedai named Caraola. It is one of the most powerful sa'angreal that survived the Breaking. I still couldn't believe that Tamra had given me permission to take it with me.

I took the ring and put it right away in the middle finger of my left hand. It fit perfectly, as if it was made for me.

After admiring the ring for some time I continued on my way. Before long I haltered to the stop before a very familiar ter'angreal; the Oath Rod, a smooth ivory-white cylinder a foot long and only slightly thicker than woman's wrist. The very ter'angreal every woman used to swear the Three Oaths; to speak no word that is not true, to make no weapon for one man to kill another and to never use the One Power as a weapon, except against Shadowspawn, or in the last extreme of defending one's life or that of one's Warder or another sister. Oaths that made a woman Aes Sedai.

Since I'm not going to be Aes Sedai anymore, I could try if I can give up my Oaths.

Without another thought I took the Oath Rod from its place and channelled a thin flow of Spirit in it. Then I realized I wasn't sure what I should say, or whether this would even work.

Well, it doesn't hurt to give it a try.

"I give up all my Oaths." I said.

I realized immediately I had been wrong; it did hurt to give it a try. I had never in my life felt pain like this. Pain was so great that I couldn't even scream; I just fell on my knees and shed silent tears of pain. I wanted the pain to stop, even if it would've meant dying. I would die happily if it meant that I didn't need to feel this pain anymore. Oh, Light, but it hurt!

Then, just as soon as it had begun, it also stopped.

I got back on my shaky feet and lifted up fallen Oath Rod. I had no recollection of when I had dropped it.

Did it work?

"U-up is down." I whispered out loud. I felt satisfied that it really had worked; that I hadn't suffered that immense pain in vain.

I set Oath Rod back to its place and continued on.

I found the ter'angreal I was looking for in no time, for it was possibly the largest one in the storage.

It was oval-shaped doorframe which looked like it was made of some kind of metal. It was twenty feet tall – well over four times my humble height of four feet and eight inches – and so wide that two women could have gone through it arms stretched to their sides without touching each other.

I embraced the Source and channelled Spirit into the ter'angreal so that white light appeared inside the doorframe.

"I want to get to the world that does not know what Aes Sedai are." I said as I channelled all Five Powers to the ter'angreal. Nobody knew if speaking requirements you wanted to be fulfilled was necessary but at least that way it worked for sure.

When I channelled all Five Powers to ter'angreal the white light disappeared. Instead of it I saw another world inside doorframe. In this particular case I saw a massive blizzard. All I could see was white snow.

Okay, not that one. I thought and changed my weave little bit.

The white light returned for a second before it was replaced with another world. This time I saw very, very tall things that I could only imagine were houses, though I couldn't understand why one wanted to have so many floors in their house, and some really weird… things… that seemed to move by themselves and made horrible noise. It felt scary.

Definitely not that one.

I changed my weave again. And again. And again. Every time there was something about that world that made me feel uncomfortable, being it either scary things or feeling of nearing war or hostility.

Just when I was beginning to be sure that I couldn't find a world I would feel comfortable about I found it. I saw beautiful green hills and also thought that I could see a small village further away. I had a feeling of peace while looking at the world through ter'angreal.

"That'll do it. Here we go." I muttered and stepped inside ter'angreal.

After a flash of white I found myself standing one the very same green hills I had looked at just a moment ago.