Chapter Two: The Disease of Space…Homesickness

Her quarters were more of just a somewhat large rectangle. Large meaning there was a small patch of flooring that she could potentially sit down to meditate and she was able to walk around her bed which was centered against the wall that was on her immediate right when she entered the space. Opposite her bed was the toilet and shower room, where she would have a limited supply of water and just enough space to brush her teeth while dancing around. Her favorite feature of the room was the rather large window that opened out to the stars.

So not a large room, but it was her room and that was important.

She kept the promise to herself and unpacked the small black bag that she had brought with her. She honestly didn't even know what the regulations were for bringing luggage, but as she didn't have a large amount of personal effects it didn't matter.

She had a few clothes, like her pajamas and a nice cozy jumper that her friend Maggie had knitted for her ages ago. There really was nothing like thick knitwear to cuddle up in.

She had one holo, one of her most prized possessions, that she placed near her window. It was prized not because of what it was, but because of who was in the image. It was a picture of her family. Not her blood family, but the ones who had taken care of her the past few years and many of who she had worked with.

There was Rose, Suzy, and Oscar. Then there was Eddie, the Vulcan and his son Zorec. The only one that was truly missing was Maggie, but she was still living on the same road that Mattie had grown up in England where she was still taking care of all the kids running around without any supervision just as she had done when Mattie was growing up.

Oscar had whittled a piece of wood into a brilliant sailboat. It fit in the palm of her hand and she liked it because he had made it specially for her. She placed it on a shelf beside her bed.

Stepping back she admired her room and the few possession that she'd unpacked. Then she felt an overwhelming sadness settle over her.

Despite her possessions the room felt empty.

There was no Suzy sitting on her bed and talking away about anything and everything. There was no Rose slinking in with a cup of coffee to sit beside Suzy, curling up a knee into her chest as she sipped on her coffee and debated whatever Suzy was talking about. Oscar wouldn't be able to ever swing by her place because she now lived in deep space. Eddie was in New Vulcan raising his son and he couldn't even point out that her homesickness was not based in logic because she was on a space adventure that was supposed to be a great opportunity for her.

Sinking onto the edge of her bed she counted out everybody that she really knew. Suzy, Rose, Oscar, Eddie, Zorec, and Maggie. She looked at the six fingers that she held out. It had felt like a lot of people when she was back on Earth or on New Vulcan. She had hardly ever seen Maggie after she had turned eighteen and gone into Starfleet.

Mattie lowered her hands and wondered if homesickness caused any physical symptoms.

Standing up, Mattie refused to pick up her PADD and search for answers. She couldn't open up that can of worms, not yet at least.

Instead, she left her room behind and headed to the Mess Hall in a desperate attempt to leave behind her sad feelings. She thought it was highly unlikely that she'd be able to get some fish and chips which was funny since she hardly had them back on Earth. Not sure why she was craving the greasy fried food she requested coffee, a move that would have made Rose proud. Because as she would say coffee fixes everything.

Mattie's plan had one fatal flaw. Having to actually face the other people who all seemed to know one another in the cafeteria.

"Hi," Mattie asked shyly.

The nurse from Sickbay looked up from a bowl of noodles. "Hey," he nodded to a chair across from him. "You okay?"

She nodded. "You?"

"Eh," he shrugged and took a bite. "I would be better if M'Benga hadn't hidden all the tricorders and McCoy hadn't felt the need to retaliate by making him take over all the officers who still needed their immunizations. He's been complaining all morning, in an attempt to annoy McCoy. It's been a vicious circle, to say the least."

That was more than Mattie had been expecting. She tucked away the name McCoy and in a way appreciated the fact that she got to find out the end of the tricoder episode that she had witnessed yesterday.

"Sorry," the man apologized for the long winded answer. "I'm Alejandro Giles."

"Mattie Hanson," she introduced herself again.

"You've not been on the Enterprise before, right?"

"This is my first time assigned to a ship."

"Oh yeah," he said in interest as he shoveled more food into his mouth. "You fresh from the Academy?"

She shook her head. "No, I've just been bouncing around on assignments."

He nodded in understanding. "You liking it so far?"

She shrugged her shoulders noncommittally. "It's different."

"Can I ask you something?" She made a face that told him to go on. "What kinda accent do you have?"

She laughed for the first time onboard the ship, though her cheeks flushed slightly. "I'm from Northern England, close to Leeds. I know, it's a pretty thick accent."

"Hey, I can't say anything. My grandma constantly makes fun of my accent, especially when I speak to her in Spanish."

"Did you grow up in America?'

"Illinois," he told her. "Though my dad lives in Michigan so I spent some time there too."

"Have you been on the Enterprise for a long time?"

"I was here before Khan," he said. "I worked in San Francisco while they rebuilt the ship." He finished his bowl of noodles and knocked back some water. "I've got to head out, but I'll be sure to see you around."

"Okay, thanks," she told him as he walked away. Then she felt ridiculous because she was literally thanking him for being nice enough to not ignore her because she was the pathetic newbie.

"Mattie!"

Looking up she saw Carol Marcus, holding a tray of food, smiling at her brightly while Captain Kirk looked on in confusion. They must have been getting food together when Carol had spotted her. Without a second thought, she walked forward to sit at Mattie's table.

Straightening up, Mattie clutched her coffee mug and smiled uneasily as Carol took a seat. The captain sat down as well, but it was clear that he was only doing so because Carol had.

"I looked for you yesterday," Carol said as she organized her food and grabbed a spoon. "I couldn't find you and I didn't want to bother you in your quarters. You've got to have been so tired. Have your shifts been alright?"

Mattie looked nervously at the captain who, with intelligent eyes, watched the exchange.

"It's been okay so far," Mattie answered. "How have you been?"

"Fine," Carol lied. She would feel guilty for a long time and both she and Mattie knew that. "I was hoping though that you would want to spend some time with me in one of the rec rooms tonight or whenever you're free?"

Hadn't she just been complaining about being lonely? Now she was being handed the opportunity to spend time with a friend, but it wasn't with who she really wanted to be with. She wanted her family.

"Sure," she smiled anyways. "I'm free any evening this week."

Carol's smile was bigger and filled with relief. She ate a spoonful of yogurt before somebody caught her eye. She quickly swallowed and put down her spoon. Standing up, she placed a hand on the captain's shoulder but spoke to the table. "Sorry, I'm just going to tell Joyce one thing. I'll be really quick, sorry."

Mattie found herself alone with Captain Kirk, just two days into the five-year mission.

Focusing his blue eyes on her, he sent a charming smile her way. "Junior Lieutenant Hanson, right?"

Gulping she nodded.

"It's was pretty impressive, what you did yesterday."

Right, so he did remember her.

"Thank you," she said it like she wasn't sure if that was the right response.

"How do you and Carol know one another?" It could have been all in her head, but Mattie thought he sounded almost jealous. Wasn't her fault that Carol had made her into a third wheel on their dinner date.

"Oh, Care and I know each other," she didn't know how to respond. "From Starfleet."

Captain Kirk bit back an amused grin. "You guys know one another from Starfleet? What a coincidence, that's also where I know her from."

Mattie bowed her head down in embarrassment. "Yes, what a coincidence." She jumped back slightly when a tray smacked the table.

"What the hell are you eating?" Dr. McCoy inspected the captain's tray of food. "No vegetables?"

"I already ate them, Bones," Kirk lied. The doctor muttered something under his breath but sat down anyway. He glanced at Mattie and then back at Kirk, silently asking him why they were sitting with her. "This is Junior Lieutenant Hanson. She knows Care from Starfleet."

"Care," Dr. McCoy's face scrunched in confusion. "Oh, Carol."

"M'Benga still complaining?" Kirk asked.

"Probably," McCoy grunted before taking a bite of food. While eating he looked up and realized that Mattie was still there. He swallowed his food. "I'm Leonard McCoy. The ships CMO. No infection?"

It took Mattie a minute to realize that he was referring to the wound he had treated yesterday. She was surprised that he remembered. And she was pleased that she didn't have an infection. Though she did have homesickness, which she'd probably need to look into later.

"No," she shook her head. "No infections."

The doctor continued to eat, but there was a smug smirk on his face that said the words I told you so. Well, he was certainly infuriating.

"Hi, Dr. McCoy," Carol returned to her seat. "Sorry, I just had to tell Joyce something." She picked her spoon up again before noticing Mattie's cup of coffee. "Does that have a lot of sugar in it? Like the way that Rose takes it."

Mattie's eyes flickered between her mug and Carol. "Yep." She quickly finished the liquid and stood up. "I've got to go, but let me know when you want to hang out."

Carol nodded, her eyes conveying an emotion that Mattie just didn't want to deal with.

"You're not going to give her a hard time about sugar, but you'll limit my calories?" She heard the captain ask McCoy as she left.

Exiting the Mess Hall, a cool breeze swarmed over her as she took a deep breath. She was suddenly tired, despite it being barely 19:00. Running a hand through her long blonde hair, her hand snagged in a tangle.

She didn't want to go back to her tiny room, but she didn't have anywhere to be. She walked around the corridors, going past the lounge and the rec rooms, but never going in anywhere. She'd pass other crewmembers working or groups of friends who were off shift. She got tired of the bright shiny corridors so she went about looking for a shortcut to her room using the Jeffries tubes.

When she came into her room she found the same view that she had left. Space: dark, empty and cold. She fell down onto her bed, tugging her boots off and not bothering to change. She wrapped up in a blanket exhausted only she couldn't fall asleep. She couldn't sleep, but she didn't want to do anything else.

Space was lonely when there wasn't anybody you loved around.

Her life became consistent. She was on Alpha shift, which normally went to higher officers, but it turned out that Beta shift was more popular in Engineering so to fill the early morning gap she had been assigned. It was a blessing in a way because Lieutenant Brown was one of those that coveted the Beta shift. Apparently, she liked to sleep in and anybody that she liked normally also worked that shift.

Mattie woke up, went to work and came back to cocoon in her bed. Sometimes she didn't feel like eating and she always tried to make sure that her PADD was across the room This was so that when she laid down and felt the weight of limbs at the end of the day, she'd be too tired to grab the PADD and spend time researching symptoms. The behavioral therapy that she had been forced to undergo apparently did work in some ways.

Carol consistently wanted to hang out. Several times a week she would go to meet the other English woman in one of the Rec Rooms or Lounges so that they could speak. Most of the time it was Carol speaking and Mattie listening.

The only other daily habit that seemed to be forming was Giles. True to his word he frequently sought her out. At first, it was in the Mess Hall when sleepily Mattie had been getting breakfast and Giles had ended up in the queue behind her. Almost naturally they'd grabbed a table and began to talk. Now it seemed natural to see him for breakfast and maybe even a couple times a day. He was always nice enough to answer any medical questions she had.

On several occasions she would see Scotty, but most of her interactions were with Rixson who was usually shouting out instructions in her signature brisk manner.

So there was her life. Constantly surrounded by people, but constantly mourning for her old life.

One non-Carol night, she sat up after returning for work and cocooning. It was only 16:10 and she couldn't stand being in her room anymore. Grabbing her PADD she went off to the Mess Hall, already deciding that of all the public spaces onboard, it was an area that felt the most comfortable to her.

So that she wasn't sitting idly at a table she got a cup of coffee. She pulled up her PADD and opened it to the messaging center. Empty.

The background of the Mess Hall faded into a dull buzz as stiffly she opened up a blank message. She would write to Rose first.

Dear Rose,

Except she couldn't figure out what to write so she ended up beginning one to Oscar first. His should be easier to write.

Hey Oscar,

The boat you gave me is next to my bed on a shelf in its new home. I often walk around the Enterprise and think of you. It's hard knowing that not many people realize how much you did for this ship. Working in the shipyard you literally welded most of the ship together. You're an unsung hero.

Working in Engineering…

Sucks without you was what she really wanted to say next. Mattie was cut from her thoughts when a figure moved in front of her.

"I don't normally see you around here at this time of day," Giles told her.

"I was trying to write a message," she responded.

"Oh, sorry," he apologized for interrupting.

"No," she shook her head and sighed. "It wasn't a very good message."

She quickly realized that it felt wrong to write any messages that conveyed her unhappiness. Her friends couldn't help her when she was exploring space. It didn't seem fair to place her sadness on their shoulders.

"What did Rixson have you do today?" Giles asked.

"Dilithium batteries," was all she could stand to explain. "All of them. What about you?"

"Oh well," Giles settled in to tell her one of the many entertaining stories that he encountered.

One of the first observations that Mattie had made about Giles was that he saw a lot more of the ship's happenings. Of course, that would be the case as he worked in Sickbay, but because of the CMO's close friendship with the captain and most of the Bridge crew, there was always an added dimension to his stories.

"The Tricorder War of 2260 has still yet to come to an end," Giles reported. "Though it could well be towards the very end, if only because Spock has threatened to get involved. Personally, I'd love to see what Team Spock would bring to the table on this matter. I think he would school both McCoy and M'Benga. McCoy yelled at approximately twelve redshirts and insulted a science officer's mother." He paused when he saw Mattie's face. "Yeah, I know. It was awkward for everybody involved."

"Scotty went down on a mission today." Mattie took a sip of her coffee only to gag because it had gone cold. "Did anybody get hurt?"

"Yeah, about three of the redshirts that McCoy yelled at today. Who were you writing to?"

She glanced down at the PADD which had gone dark. "I'd planned on writing almost everyone back home. I started to with Oscar."

"It gets better," Giles promised. She smiled grimly feeling another prickle of embarrassment for being the only one missing home.

"Thanks," she picked up the PADD. "Maybe you'll get a mention in one of my messages."

"Feel free to name drop me," he replied cheekily before standing up. "I'll catch you later."

"Bye," she waved. Then she tapped the screen of the PADD trying to think of what to say.

"I'm slightly worried about her," Carol Marcus said over her shoulder.

Jim straightened up from behind her as he grabbed his meal. "What?" he asked in confusion.

Carol's brow was wrinkled as she stood by the food synthesizers and looked out at the sea of tables in the Mess Hall. Her eyes were set on a particular blonde engineer though. Mattie was hunched over in her chair, with one knee tucked into her chest and her head resting on a hand that was propped up on an elbow. One hand mindlessly messed with the PADD that was in front of her.

"What were you saying?" Jim tried to understand.

"Mattie," she explained, not taking her eyes off the girl. Jim himself watched with concern as Carol began to chew her bottom lip. He already knew it to be a nervous habit.

"She looks okay," he assured though it took him a minute to figure out which crewmember she was staring at. "And you promised Uhura that you'd see her at dinner. You don't get to see her much."

Still chewing her lip she nodded and let herself be led to a table that was mainly filled with crew from the Bridge.

"Hey," Uhura said warmly. Spock sat beside her.

"Hi," Carol replied back while Jim wordlessly splayed out on a chair and began to take big bites of the food in front of him.

"Sulu was just telling me about his and Ben's first date," she smiled teasingly in Sulu's direction. When she glanced back she took in Carol's worried face. "Are you okay?"

Carol instantly showed remorse for not listening more to Uhura. "I'm sorry," she said, but she still looked over at Mattie. Uhura turned to follow her line of sight. "It's just I'm a little worried about her. She's not spent so long on a ship before."

"Oh, well do you want to invite her over?" Uhura asked good-naturedly.

"I don't know," Carol admitted. She could only try to force a friendship with Mattie so much. They both knew why they knew one another and it wasn't for the best of reasons.

"How do you even know her?" Jim asked in between bites. He was leaned far back in his chair and wearily looked back at Mattie. He didn't like that the other girl was causing Carol so much stress.

Carol responded with her crafted answer. "We have mutual friends on Earth." It was true after all.

"Hey Chekov," Uhura greeted the navigator.

"Hello," he said cheerfully.

"Hey, Chekov," Carol leaned forward suddenly. "You didn't happen to see if the girl you just passed, what she was doing on her PADD?"

Every single person looked at Carol strangely.

Leaning back in embarrassment she tried to explain herself. "You know like she didn't happen to be looking up diseases?"

"That's not making it any better," Jim told her.

"No, I," she waved her fork around while she struggled.

"You are quite concerned with Hanson's behavior," Spock observed. "The care and attention you show are most curious as the interactions between the two of you are filled with body language that expresses unease around one another."

Carol's mouth hung open. "Thank you, Mr. Spock," she finally offered up.

Uhura looked like she wanted to elbow him and at her expression the Vulcan tried to defend himself.

"I often notice Dr. Marcus and the Ensign conversing in the evenings."

"Bones," Jim practically shouted at the sight of McCoy in an effort to knock out the awkwardness that had settled over the group. "Scotty."

"Capt'n," Scotty greeted happily. He nodded to the group. "Everybody alright this evening?"

"Dr. Marcus is exhibiting unusual behavioral patterns concerning one of your Engineers," Spock said.

"Oh my god, Spock," Uhura brought a hand up to rub her forehead.

"Really, should have let the topic go to another place," Jim mused but Scotty showed interest to know which Engineer Spock was referring to.

"I'm just trying to make sure that Lieutenant junior grade Hanson is settling in alright," Carol properly explained this time. "I understand how hard it is when dealing with new job tasks and being away from home."

Scotty looked over at the table that Mattie was sitting at. She looked a little tired and he didn't think she'd looked up from her PADD in a while, but he couldn't think of anything bad to report.

"Nah," Scotty reassured. "I think the lass is fittin in just fine. I've heard of no problems. Though it very much could 'ave gone the wrong way, what with movin the Capt'n's foot an all just to get to some wiring."

"Wait what?" Sulu somehow hadn't heard that story yet.

"She could have just asked me to move," Jim said.

"Besides," Scotty continued to Carol. "With the Engineering team and friends like you and Spock, she'll be sure to be feelin like she's at home soon enough."

"Mr. Spock?" Carol scrunched her nose.

"Yes, you must be mistaken," Spock corrected. "I've never met Ensign Hanson before."

"But you were a recommendation for her. Ah," Scotty corrected himself as soon as he realized his mistake. "No, you're right sorry. It was your other self, the Ambassador, that Cavalier said would provide one for her, not you. My apologies."

"Spock," Kirk turned his head to look at the First Officer.

"Ambassador Spock," the Vulcan kept his face blank. "Has never spoken of an engineer named Hanson."

"If it'll make you feel any better," Scotty promised. "I'll check in on the lass, on her next shift. See that she's fittin in all right."

"Thanks," Carol said softly.

"An, I kan go back and zee if she iz researching diseases," Chekov also promised.

"What?" McCoy asked sharply.

"Don't ask," Sulu told him under his breath.

"For the record," Carol stood up and began to pile her dirty dishes. "It actually is out of serious concern that I question whether or not she's obsessing over diseases and their symptoms."

She left and didn't look back. Kirk didn't know why it bothered him so much that she was focusing on Mattie so much. He would never admit that it was because he could be a narcissistic bastard that he wanted her to be focusing on him. Tuck that emotion away, he told himself.

"Is anybody going to explain?" McCoy raised an eyebrow.

"Chekov no," Uhura called out as the boy leaped up to try to nonchalantly spy on the other girl.

Sighing Jim stood up and looked at his friend. "Let's go get a drink, Bones."

She was three months in before a scheduling change put her on Beta rotation. The difference in time didn't change the normal haze of homesickness that continued to cling to her.

Sneezing she almost dropped the wrench in her hand.

"Bless you," a man smiled as he sat down next to her. He joined her in her wiring endeavors as he held some pliers in his mouth so that he could move a piece of the wall. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Okay," she stumbled over the word. They both kept their hands busy as they focused on their task.

"Why the wrench?"

"What?" she replied taken aback.

"Not to sound creepy," he began. "But we're meant to be replacing the wiring, yet every so often I see you pick up your wrench." He leaned in towards her with a faux conspiratorial glint to his eyes as he lowered his voice. "Also I know you have a pocket full of nuts."

Mattie felt her face flush as nervous laughter puffed out of her. "Um," she took one hand out of the siding that she was working on in a remote Jeffries tube. Pulling hair off her face she tried to answer, but he kept talking.

"If I didn't know any better I'd say you were sabotaging the ship."

"No," Mattie's voice was sharp with horror at the accusation.

The man leaned back his eyebrows high. "Sorry, I was just kidding."

Her cheeks flamed even worse. "Right," the nervous laughter appeared again. "Sorry, no, I should have known that. Uh, when I started to work, I noticed that a lot of this back siding looked odd. This area of the ship vibrates a lot because of the nacelle. I've been adding a second locking nut to make sure it's all preloaded right. "

"Huh," the man ducked his head down to look at her work. "Yeah, you're right." He brought his head up to look at the side wall of the Jeffries tube. "I wonder why Scotty hasn't noticed that."

"Oh, Mr. Scott has a lot to do," Mattie scooted closer to her work as she struggled with a wire. "Besides it's not his fault for the vibration."

"It's not," the unnamed man questioned.

Mattie thought before she spoke. "The plasma conduit is cleaned regularly, but not the warp coils. The build up causes more vibrations thus affecting the tension of the material siding in this part of the ship."

The man let out a low whistle impressed. "That's impressive that you noticed that. I wouldn't have thought of that. You should tell Scotty."

Mattie shrugged. She had been planning on seeing if Rixson was in a good mood and letting her know about the issue.

"I'm Milo by the way," the man placed his pliers in his mouth leaving one hand free to shake her hand.

"Mattie," she introduced.

"Are you normally Beta shift?"

"No," she told him. "Alpha."

"That's why I haven't seen you before then. I like to work Gamma."

"Really?"

"Yeah," he admitted. "Always been a night owl, plus I like working with all the other kids."

Milo was young himself, but she guessed he was referring to the fresh cadets that often had to deal with the unpopular shift choice.

"Are you Section B?" she asked.

"Yep," he wiped his brow as he worked. "I've been so for the past couple of years. Is it just me or is Section B being taken over by the Brits."

She shrugged before offering up a small smile.

"There's you, where are you from?" She told him. "Then there's Queen Abigail, Emily, and Louis. Have you meet Louis?" She shook her head. "Shame, he's a funny guy. Swing by Gamma shift and I'll introduce y'all."

"Okay," she agreed easily.

Together they placed the siding back the way it was, hiding the ships wiring and both stood up.

"All in a good day's work," Milo stepped back with his hands on his hips to proudly inspect their work. He looked down at a chronometer on his wrist. "We only have six and a half more hours to go."

They gathered up their tools and headed back to Main Engineering before a red light began to flash.

"That's not good," Milo said before breaking into a run. She quickly followed. "What's happening?" he asked another redshirt.

"Apparently somebody on the Bridge thought it'd be a great idea to get close and personal to some asteroids. They're causing havoc."

"Everybody to their stations," Rixson called out.

"Here we go," Milo said grimly.

It took only twenty minutes to navigate the ship's passage out of the patch of asteroids, but it took the rest of Mattie's shift, all six and a half hours, for the Engineers to contain and minimize the damage.

In one of the Jeffries tubes they sat. Slowly all of them had sunk to the floor, exhausted from the day. Unmoving and quiet Mattie found herself joining in on the experience with her coworkers. Sweat was stuck to her and it was much later than she normally stayed up, but despite being absolutely tired her mind was too wired to properly function. That meant she stayed on the floor next to Milo.

"How much longer do we have on this stupid mission?" The question came from John.

"Enough time to do this a lot more," a female named Nov replied.

They were all too tired to groan.

"You know what we deserve?" Milo stretched his legs. "Ice cream."

"What is it with you and ice cream?" somebody who had known Milo for a long time asked.

"It's the food of Gods," he exclaimed.

"Debatable," John deadpanned.

"Come on," Milo stood up. "We must rally!"

"I can't move though," Nov said sadly. Milo offered her his hand.

"You coming?" Milo asked her.

"No, thanks," she said tiredly. "I'm just going to head to bed soon."

"See you later."

"Bye," she whispered. She closed her eyes and kept her head up against the metal wall.

She knew what it was like to deal with emergencies. She'd dealt with more than her fair share in her short lifetime than should be possible. Running for her life at one point she'd had to stop to save mankind from technology that wouldn't just start war but definitively change what war meant.

Mattie began to chuckle, a kind of laugh that was sad and bitter.

Nobody would ever believe her if she said that. In a way, that was just fine. Let the world never know.

She just never thought she'd go through all of that only to be so lonely on a stupid spaceship.

"Hey," Giles once again cut into her thoughts. He tapped her foot with his and her eyes popped open.

Sniffling and sighing at the same time she didn't even try to respond.

"I thought I'd come check up on you," he took a seat next to her. "You know since it was your first Beta shift and all. Turned out to be kind of a rough day, huh?"

That strange bitter chuckle returned. "Yeah," she rolled her head against the wall so that she could look at him. "A lot of people in Sickbay?"

"A couple of science officers got pretty banged up when we made impact," he said. "The science officers are all pretty pissed at McCoy still because he offended one of their moms the other day."

Mattie snorted. "How do you deal with that man?"

Giles laughed too but then smiled softly. "It's easy to give McCoy a hard time," he admitted. "But he's one of the best doctor's around. Literally and figuratively."

Mattie nodded.

"Hey," Giles said in a kind voice. "You know it's going to be okay."

Mattie rolled her head back and squeezed her eyes shut. "I'm so tired," the words slipped out in anguish.

He wasn't quite sure how to respond, but he tried his best. "It's only been three months. It sucks to only be able to say that it gets better, but it does."

Mattie sniffed in response. She felt his hand squeeze her knee and her shoulders relaxed.

"I don't even like fish and chips." A tear slipped out as she stared up at the ceiling. "And all I do is crave them. And no matter how much coffee I drink it's not the same without Rose here."

Giles was nice to listen to her. To let her open up and just cry a little. He didn't even make her feel ashamed about it.

"What do I do?" she asked for his medical advice.

He smiled sadly at her. "You just go about your day and learn from your experiences."

She wanted to laugh at that. "That's it? That's all I can do?"

"Well," he pretended to think about it. "You could go and get ice cream with your newest best friend."

She did laugh at that. "You buying?" she joked.

"Yeah," he confirmed. He stood up and helped her before offering his elbow. She linked arms with him. "And I can tell you all about the time M'Benga kept moving McCoy's chronometer's backward in time. He thought he had an extra hour to his shift almost every day for a month."

Thanks for reading! I would love some feedback, as that can help me become a stronger writer!