Chapter two, for the kind fanfictioners who want more.

The Capitol

When we got to the capitol, Peeta got very excited and happy.

"I've been dreaming of these things my whole life—CLEAN TOILETS!" So he sprints in the bathroom, and it seems like he's having some wild party in there. After twenty minutes, he comes out. "Katniss, you have to try this!" We have bad hygiene issues in District Twelve.

I just look at him. "I'm not a male!" I walked away in a huff. Then I met our mentor, who won the double trouble quarter quell, which was the 50th Blunder Games, whose name was Haymitch.

"Greetings lovers from District Twelve, I am your mentor Haymitch." He seemed like he drank too much.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"No, he's drunk," Said Peeta, "I'll handle this." Then he slapped Haymitch in the face twenty times.

"As you guys know, I'm gonna teach you how to survive, use a weapon, tie knots, help you get sponsors, bla bla bla. But I'll do it on one condition: you promise me a bottle of vodka."

"What are you, a Russian?"

"Russia blew up along with North America, don't you know that missy?"

"Did he just call me missy?" Peeta whispered to me. By the way, Panem remains on a place once known as North America. The people got very drunk, and some idiot started launching nuclear weapons everywhere because he hated being sober. The survivors rebuilt the land and called it Panem. The reason why we have the Blunder Games is before seventy-five years ago, there was a holiday called pie day, where we eat a lot of pie. But one year on pie day, the capitol didn't give any pie. So the Districts started protesting against the Capitol, but the Capitol won, and they blew up District Thirteen because everyone that lived there were pie addicts. The Capitol wanted to remind everyone about its power, so they picked one sexy male and one slutty female from ages twelve and eighteen from each District and threw them in an arena to fight to the death. They called it the Blunder Games because in the first year, all the tributes were complete idiots. The Capitol also banned Pie Day, which really pisses me off.

Then Haymitch introduced me to my stylist, Cinna.

"Girl, I'm gonna make you look fabulous!" He said in a gay tone.

"Are you a gay?" I asked, noticing he took my clothes off.

"Is that even a question?"

"I guess not." Then he started explaining what being a stylist was like. But without noticing, he turned some switch on that let me into the room with the other tributes, who also had their stylists doing the same thing. So it was all twenty four of us, sitting in one room, all of us having no clothes on. "Hello my fellow tributes," I said in an awkward tone. "This is very awkward."

"You could say that again," Said the girl tribute from District One. After we all got our clothes back on, the stylists put us on chariots and made us ride through an entire auditorium full of people from the Capitol. Of course the District One Tributes go riding in first. Man, Gale was right about the competition. The male from District Five had a horrible case of ADHD, some fox faced girl from District Five (so I call her fox face), two monkeys with grease all over their fur from District Six, some psyco from District Seven, saying he was from a world full of rapists and ice cream, a smart alec from District Seven, two nerds from district Eight, these freaky aliens from District Nine, a fat kid from District Ten, an anorexic from District Ten, a little girl from District Eleven, and some guy from District Eleven who was a huge jock. But when our chariot came riding in, people were shouting:

"Katniss Everdeen, the girl on fire!" Then I noticed that my ass was on fire.

"AAAAAAAAAA! My butt's on fire!" I screamed.

"Katniss, it's fake!" Peeta exclaimed.

"Doesn't matter. PUT IT OUT!"

"Aww, she's so cute," said the audience. After being embarrassed in front of the whole nation, our president, president Snowman, made a big speech about how the Blunder Games were a fight to the death on live TV.

"And our twenty four tributes will be trained in the art of survival- wait! I'm melting! Turn off the lights! Turn off the lights!" The guards turned off so many lights, the whole place was pitch black. "Thanks. Now, our little Tributes will enter the gym, where they will be trained and prepared to enter the arena. Now, may the odds be never in your favor! Hold on, I can't see. Someone turn on the lights." The guards turned the lights back on. "No, idiots! I'm melting again!" Peeta started holding my hand.

"You're pretty, Katniss," He said in a creep tone.

"Uh, thanks?"

Author: Sorry for leaving you guys hanging on the first chapter. But if you didn't do so, please review, add to faves, and may the odds be never in your favor. (Pause) Again!

Beta'd by WildPomegranate, my older sis.