Still Holding Out For You

AN: This is a three part one shot I heard this song and it sorta clicked something and I had to write this. The first chapter about Sam and his feelings after Jess's death, the second Chapter is Dean's, but it's about how Cassie feels about him dying; the third is John's feelings about Mary's death.

AN2: Each chapter will have the song in it and the first chapter is just to give a short message. I hope you enjoy this and Reviews are welcomed. :D I do not own this the CW owns it

Sam

Still holding out for you – Shedaisy

Never thought I'd be in this place
It's someone else's life I'm living
Wish I were living a lie
The hardest part is when the bough breaks
Falling down and then forgiving
You didn't kiss me good-bye
I'm choking on the words I didn't get to say
And pray I get the chance one day

Sam watched as the apartment that him and his girlfriend has shared when up in flames. He wished he could turn the time back and so things differently maybe tell her the truth, or not have left with Dean, but that would have done anything to help him. He stood there letting the tears fall as he thought about not getting to tell her that he loved her before she died. Sam thought about the way he left and not giving her a real kiss good-bye. He held back trying not to break as he thought about the ring he'd looked at and the fact that it would been so beautiful on her left hand. He choked back the tears as he load the guns thinking that he didn't get to tell her he wanted to marry her. He just wished that one dad he could tell her some how, but he knew that would never happen and as Dean came over to him he new that life was over

I still run, I still swing open the door
I still think, you'll be there like before
Doesn't everybody out there know to never come around
Some things a heart won't listen to


I'm still holding out for you

Sam woke up in a cold sweat looking around the room he sat up thinking that Jess would be beside him, but she wasn't and he got up going to the bathroom splashing water on his face. "She's gone," he told himself, but his heart wouldn't listen. In his dreams he still called out for her and he still waited for her to come back to him. However when he woke up and the only person in the room was his older brother he knew it was all a dream.

I can hear you smile in the dark
I can even feel you breathing
But daylight chases the ghosts
I see your coat and I fall apart
To those hints of you I'm clinging
Now's when I need them most
I should get up, dry my eyes and move ahead
At least that's what you would have said

Sam knew that Dean was right he knew that he should move on and try to put Jessica in the past, but he couldn't not now he couldn't maybe some day, but for now every time he woke up with a nightmare about that night he thought he heard her laughing and smiling. If he laid real still he thought he could still feel her breathing against him as he slept. The daylight all these things weren't there it was like the moon was the only thing that could bring out these feelings that he had. Just looking at the coat he wore made him think of her and the day he'd let her borrow it because it was poring down the rain and he didn't want her to get wet. He thought he could still smell her if he tried hard enough and he clung to that hoping that it would help him in the end. He watched as the sun set and the moon continued to rise he needed the good memories right now the most because this is when he hurt the most. He knew that if Jess was here now she'd tell him to move on just like Dean had, tell him to stop mooring something he couldn't change, that's what she would told him and he knew it.


I still run, I still swing open the door
I still think, you'll be there like before
Doesn't everybody out there know to never come around


Some things a heart won't listen to
I'm still holding out for you


Faithfully, I trace your name while you sleep
It's the only true comfort I feel

Writing her name sometimes at night or when he felt like she was there that was the real way he tried to move on even if it wasn't enough it kept her there for him and that was enough for the time being.

I still run, I still swing open the door
I still think you'll be there like before

I still run, I still swing open the door
I still think, you'll be there like before
Doesn't everybody out there know to never come around
Some things a heart won't listen to
I'm still holding out for you


Two years it had been since his girlfriend's death and Sam stood over the body of the demon that had killed his family, the demon that had took his mom and girlfriend from him. He listened as his brother spoke telling him it was for their mom and he silent thought 'this is for you too Jessica'

Holding out
Holding out for you

An: okay so how did you like it please let me know :D