Chapter one – Broken soul.

It was night out when they came back through the portal from Pylea and returned to the Hyperion hotel, a place that now felt like home to all of them. Angel, Wesley, Gunn, Cordelia, and the newly acquired member Fred entered the garden court, a sense of euphoria hung in the air at their safe return.

Angel pushed himself to the front as they neared the doors leading into the hotel. Smiling he turned his head, his hand on the door pushing it open. 'Okay, can I say it? I wanna say it?'

'Say what?' Wesley smirked.

Walking into the lobby Angel started. 'There's no place like...' But he trailed off as he noticed the lonely figure of Willow sitting hunched up in the lobby. His smile vanished as he looked at her. 'Willow?' He questioned.

Willow slowly stood up never taking her tear soaked eyes of Angel, as she walked towards him and then he knew instantly, whispering quietly to himself. 'It's Buffy.' He knew the moment he saw her, he knew that she was gone; he knew that his life as it was, was over. He knew that all he had been fighting for was useless, meaningless, she was dead. Buffy was dead.

The others who had been laughing only moments ago stopped with Angel, noticing Willow too. Even Gunn and Fred unfamiliar with who Willow was sensed the immediate change in the atmosphere. Wesley and Cordelia stepped forward to stand by Angel, Cordelia lightly touching his hand in silent comfort. Wesley placed his hand supportably on his shoulder and they both turned to look at Willow, as they realised to. Buffy. Wesley's face looked horrified.

Willow moved slowly as if in a trance and took measured steps towards him as if only she and Angel were in the room. Looking into his eyes she said the words he had often had nightmares about. ' I'm so sorry Angel, Its Buffy, I'm sorry I couldn't stop her, I have all these powers and I couldn't save her, she's dead.'

'No,' he whispered hoarsely, his voice broken with the pain. It couldn't be possible, it couldn't!

'She cant...it can't have all been for nothing, she can't...she's Buffy, she can't be...' He trailed off, looking deep into her eyes searching for a different answer, but he saw only the truth of her words, she looked so sad, so weary. 'No Willow,' he cried bringing his hands to his face. A Tear falling unashamedly down his face in a silent protest of pain.

And it was as if his words broke whatever had been left of Willows shield to. She had sat in the hotel for hours, thinking about what she would say to Angel, remaining strong, not allowing the tears to fall again, she'd cried so much since Buffy had died, and she resolved that she would be strong for Angel.

She had wondered where he was having been unable to get a hold of him by phone and a small part of her had even hoped that he wouldn't show. So she wouldn't have to say the words out loud and witness the despair on Angel's face that she was seeing now. Saying it out loud had made it all so much more real for her. – Buffy was gone.

She had known that she would have to be the one to tell him and the thought had broken her heart. With his words she could no longer hold it all in, she let out a huge sigh and then began to cry, wrapping her arms around herself as if protecting herself from the pain. Without hesitation both Wesley and Cordelia moved towards her then to offer her comfort, and Angel just stared.

Gunn feeling as if he was intruding on private grief took a very confused and worried Fred's hand and led her into the main office. He had heard about Buffy from Wesley - the Slayer, and the love of Angel's life. I great weight settled in his stomach as he thought about the pain Angel must be feeling. About the inevitable loss in battle and his thoughts drifted to his own loss, his Sister and what that had felt like and he shed a silent tear.

'How?' When Angel spoke again the words came out so hoarse and full of sadness that Willow's pain deepened further. He looked so utterly defeated. As Buffy's best friend she had felt it was her duty to support him. She had known how much Angel had truly loved Buffy and she wanted to give him the opportunity to be at the funeral and grieve for her properly and say goodbye.

She didn't know yet if she had the power to bring Buffy back and Angel deserved to know. She had been frightened of how he would react, frightened that the pain would be enough to send him over the edge, and bring the destructive nature of Angelus forth.

She missed her friend so much it was hard to put into words, her and the rest of the Scooby's were struggling to get from day to day. Xander had lost his light, and Giles was talking about going back to England. Buffy was her best friend. She had changed Willow's life fundamentally in so many amazing ways the day she moved to Sunnydale. Then there was Dawn, she had lost her big sister, the person who had always been there for her, always protected her and had ultimately sacrificed herself so that Dawn could live.

Even Spike seemed defeated. They had been so unsure and untrusting of his loyalty and feelings towards Buffy. But when he had seen her broken body he had fallen apart, there was no other way to describe it. He had cried like she had never seen a grown man do before. In a way that a few years earlier they could never have imagined possible from him. He was a broken man, well Vampire, who had loved her after all.

Still Willow had known no matter how much pain they were all in it would be nothing to the way Angel would feel. He was her soul mate that much Willow was certain of. However cruel fate had been separating them she still believed that fundamentally they were meant for each other and had hoped deep down that someday somehow that would be possible.

So now she felt like she had failed him and Buffy. Like it had been her duty to look after her till that time came and now it was over.

And still he stood there...

So Willow told him. The others excused themselves and Angel led them into the privacy of his downstairs office. He sat down at his desk looking dazed and confused. Willow took the seat in front of him and began to talk. She explained all about Glory and Dawn being the Key. She told him how Buffy had realised that as her and Dawn shared the same blood then she too could close the portal and stop Dawn from having to do it.

'I should have tried something else, maybe then me and Spike could have saved her.' She added without thinking, her voice breaking as the story brought back all the terrible memories of that night.

Angel looked suddenly startled, 'Spike?' he questioned, 'I don't understand what he has got to do with this?'

'He...' Willow stumbled over her words, thinking carefully about how to say what she had to say. 'He's been helping us, helping Buffy, for the past few months actually, with patrolling and fighting Glory. He kept the secret even when Glory kidnapped him. He's been a lot of help.'

'But why?'

'Erm ...I don't know how to really say this to you Angel, it's just that...'

'He loved her didn't he? 'Angel interrupted in a cold sharp voice as the answer suddenly dawned on him.

'How did you...?' Willow let the question go unfinished; shocked at the turn the conversation was taking.

Angel sighed deeply, looking Willow directly in the eyes, holding her gaze as he began to explain.

'Buffy told me a while ago about the chip, we spoke on the phone a lot since...since I left. She explained to me why she was allowing him to stick around, I didn't like it but I wasn't in her life anymore, so who was I to interfere?' He sighed before continuing.

'I didn't know he'd been helping you guys though. Spike's a sucker for love, he picks the most unattainable women, always has done. I wondered at the time what was in it for him sticking around, he could of left and looked for a way to get rid of the chip and instead he chose to stay in Sunnydale at the mercy of the slayer. I thought maybe he had feelings for her but I dismissed it as me being Jealous. But I guess I was right,' he said his tone so flat.

Willow looked down at her hands her discomfort at this topic obvious. 'He blames himself you know, for not saving Dawn for Buffy having to do what she had to do. We all do really.'

Angel sighed again. 'It's not your fault Willow, any of you, not even Spike. At least you guys were there. Oh God Dawnie, how is she doing? First Joyce, now Buffy, she's too young to deal with all this, she was so young the last time I saw her, 12, or...' He paused suddenly confused.

'Or the last time I thought I saw her, it wasn't even real. Damn it!' He shouted, slamming his hand down and making a dent in the table causing Willow to jump slightly. All the anger at everything coming to the surface.

Willow regarded him sadly. 'She's only about a year old in reality, but we all have the memories Angel, doesn't that make it real enough?' Willow replied. 'Poor Dawn, she's too young for all this, to find that out and then to lose them both, she's so strong though, that alone prove that she truelly is Buffy's sister. '

Angel stood abruptly. 'I can't deal with this Willow, I can't, I don't know what to...to do now.' His voice broke as he spoke, head bowed in defeat.

Willow responded instinctively and reached forward and did something which shocked both herself and Angel, putting both her arms on his, shaking him lightly. To both of them this was an acknowledgement of how much thing had changed.

That the barriers that had once existed between him and the Scooby's, no longer existed. Willow and Xander had been just kids back then, afraid of Angel and what he represented.

But in the time that had past, in the time that they had all grown they had realised that things weren't as black and white as once thought.

At this moment Angel needed Willow, and Willow was no longer the geeky, nervous young girl she once was. She was strong, powerful and she would be there as best she could. She realised in that moment that she would be the strong one. She would be what Buffy had always said she could be but had never believed herself.

'Angel, I can't begin to imagine how you feel right now. We all miss Buffy, we all loved Buffy, but you and her I know that was something else... I mean the odds were so against you guys, it was cruel really that you should love each other, vampire and slayer. Yet the love you had for each other was so clear, so obvious. I mean if I lost Tara I don't know what I would do. I can only imagine the pain your feeling. But Buffy would want you to be strong.'

'I know,' he sighed, letting Willow guide them back to their seats.

'We'll have the funeral in two days then if you'll come. We were waiting for you. Will you?' She asked tentively.

'Of course Willow, I need to see for myself. I need to say goodbye.'

'Erm...' Willow started nervously, 'Spike will be there, are you okay with that?'

Angel looked at her an unreadable expression on his face. 'I can't pretend I like it, but Buffy trusted him, and he was there when I should have been. I probably owe him a lot, and for that reason it's okay with me. Just as long as I don't have to stand next to him.' He added jokingly with a small smile.

Willow smiled back. 'I think we can arrange that, you can stand next to Xander instead.' She joked back. 'The funeral will be at eight, after the sun has set for obvious reasons, just all of us Scooby's, nobody else.'

'Not even her Father?' He questioned, surprised.

'No he doesn't know, nobody else does, there's a whole other thing involving a Buffybot, its Erm probably best if you don't know the details.'

'A Buffybot?' He questioned looking confused. 'You know what you're probably right, I don't want to know.'

There was a long pause of awkward silence before Willow stood. She turned toward Angel a note of finality in her voice.

'I have to get back Angel; there are things I need to sort out.'

He stood then to see her out, moving to stand in front of her. She clasped his hand for a brief second in comfort and shared grief, before offering him a brief smile.

'I'll see you in two days right?' She asked sounding unsure.

'Two days,' he confirmed.

'Bye Angel,' and with that she turned her back and walked out the door.