Choose Your Poison
Bonus Chapter: The Punishment
A/N: Ladies, Gentlemen, by large and obnoxious public demand, here is the next and I would like to think FINAL chapter. I have other good stories you know?
-Jean Thine
The scene was set perfectly. Well, no, because 'perfectly' implies a degree of normality, sadly lacking from the current situation. A mad scientist complete with clown mask, put in the stocks, an anticipant crowd of Shinigami, a midget captain of the second division and divine executioner of the central 46. Normality not included.
The punishment as laid down by Yamamoto-soutaicho was perhaps the harshest in living memory. But no one had bothered to check the records on that and Shinigami have a very short attention span. So, say what you will, nobody was quite sure. Kurotsuchi Mayuri, captain of the twelfth division and second president of the Shinigami Research institute was to be publicly de-masked. If you think about it, it isn't really a punishment as a practical joke, but due to their short attention spans, most Shinigami had forgotten what his charges were, that he had been trailed and not just locked up on the spur of the moment, and even what everyone was doing looking at a creepy clown.
Before somebody important forgot what was going on, Soi Fong decided to commence with the execution… of the plan… to de-mask clown-face. She looked to Yamamoto for confirmation but he was already partially asleep. She took it as a good sign. She reached above Mayuri's head to grasp the mask, paused for dramatic effect, then got bored of the drama and just ripped it off.
There were gasps. Well some. I mean, he was really just a little less weird looking than normal. A woman somewhere shrieked and fainted, just because it was felt it needed to be done. The tenth division lieutenant was later recovered with a killer headache and a good case of freeze-burn in the hindquarters. When asked the answer was "foreplay".
Abarai Renji didn't seem to see what was so weird. He loudly voiced that he looked just like anyone else. The short woman next to him took the moment to shriek out "What d'ya mean normal! The colours are all wrong!"
"They look fine to me"
"Oh my God Abarai-kun are you colour blind?" Interjected classmate Hinamori Momo
"I am not!" was the firm yet, unconvincing reply
"Really? Then what colour is your hair?" Added Kira Izuru to the mess.
"What do you mean, it's brown isn't it?" Renji stuttered a little fearfully.
"Oh my God, Renji. It's bright…" Rukia
"…flaming…" Momo
"…red." Izuru
Renji's sudden breakdown and subsequent hysteria were the highlight of the afternoon. Until everyone forgot what happened that afternoon. Memory of a goldfish, your average Shinigami. Abarai himself was last seen running off towards his quarters shouting out "Why didn't anyone tell me!"
"Did you know he was colour blind and thought his hair wasn't red, Nii-sama?" Rukia questioned her older brother, looking after her departed ranga friend.
"Who do think told him it was brown?"
All in all, everyone was far too busy to notice Mayuri only spent about three seconds with his mask off before Nemu merely came up and released him, helped him gather his dignity and quietly leave. By this stage Renji was causing enough noise to let them make good their escape. Of course everyone was absolutely indifferent to their leaving, you would think they'd been drugged.